WTF?!?!?!? (Open Story Roleplay in the Lost Woods)

[Nurgle Burglar]

Ju'mcxa was lost. He had expected this, of course, as he was in the lost woods. What he had not expected was HOW lost he was. He was so lost he was beginning to believe that he had not known where he was before he was lost, as his lostness was too big to occupy just the present, and was expanding to take over the past and the future.

This was of course complete and utter nonsense, but that's the way he thought.

As he wandered back and forth through the labyrinth of trees he spotted a green furry substance on the bark of one such tree. He moved towards it, hoping to ascertain the way out by making use of it. He did not know, being from another realm, that moss grows on the north side of trees. Rather, he believed that by ingesting it he could infuse himself with the magic of the woods and thereby learn of an escape route.

He licked the moss.

At first he felt nothing. Then, he continued to feel nothing.

He licked it again.  

[Esquire Mitch]

Rutume strolled at a stately pace through the woods when he came upon a strange creature licking a tree.

Withdrawing his hands from hes deep sleeves and lowering his hood, he bowed his head. "Excuse me? Good sir I realize you may not be as familiar with wildlife as I, but I assure you, while the tree does not wish you any harm for your...attentions, nor will it assist you in any way. Is there anything you require? Perhaps I could assist you?"  

[Nurgle Burglar]

Jum lifted his face from the trunk and spied the zora from which the words had emanated.

"Greetings, salutations, and a warm seat to you my good..."

He paused a moment as his mind grappled with his limited light world vocabulary for the appropriate noun. His face did not betray his pondering, but instead continued displaying a blank yet excited stare in an attempt to seem friendly.

"... thing!" Jum suddenly burst out after a long and one-sidedly awkward pause, "I would indeed appreciate assistance in the matter of navigation. This furry plantlife is very stubborn and will not divulge the location of the Great Deku Tree to me. It is urgent that I arrive in its vicinity sometime before..."

He thought again.

"Sometime before I carry out my task there. Unless I arrive after my task is completed. Chronology is not my strong subject. May I lick you to garner the information?"

He extended a long black tongue that reached his chest.  

[Esquire Mitch]

Rutu smiled having never met a giant before, much less one with such an innocent and child-like frame of mind.

"I do not know much about these woods myself I am afraid, what I do know is that they seem quite enchanted, magical if you will."

He took a few steps forward and to the right till he was at the entrance to one of the paths leading from the clearing they currently occupied.

"Ahh here we go!" He had spotted a tree, "You see the moss tells us that this direction is North! Does that help?"  

[Nurgle Burglar]

He retracted his tongue, as the other creature had not indicated for Jum to lick it, and he did not want to leave it out where it could get stolen.

"No, I do not need to go north, I need to go south. I might have asked my comrades which of these designations apply to which direction before I left but it slipped my..."

Once again he paused as he fumbled around in his head with the word.

"...mind. I must retrieve an item of great importance from the green children people. Would you care to go there with me? If you could merely indicate the approximate direction and distance I can ease the process of travel.  

[Esquire Mitch]

"Ohhh the Kokiri? I havn't met a forest child ever since one left the forest to visit the monast..." Rutu paused trying to think of something else to say, the monastery was a secret for a reason, and it was better it stayed that way, especially now. "Farm, ever since one came to the farm I worked on as a child, fish farm that is. So I would love to accompany you Mr.?"
Rutu smacked his head.

"Excuse me, you asked for directions and I didn't answer, this way is North." He said turning around a glint of curiousity in his eyes at the mention of 'easing the process'.  

[Nurgle Burglar]

Ju'mcxa placed one foot on the bark of a tree and pressed until the sole sunk into the moss. He followed it with the other foot, and then began to walk straight up the side of the tree.

"Follow me if you please," he said as he scaled the sheer surface effortlessly. He had forgotten that the residents of this realm were bound by gravity, and had shortly left the zora alone on the forest floor as he disappeared into the foliage.  

[Esquire Mitch]

Rutu smiled indulgently like he would if he were caring for the younger initiates back in the monastery. Noticing the tall benevolent creature had somehow defied gravity Rutu didn't know what to do.





AHA! He would make his way to the home of the kokiri and see if they needed protection, assistance, or teaching of anykind, just as a traveling monk should do. Maybe he would meet the strange humanoid again.

Rutume drew his hood back up and replaced his hands in their deep sleeves as he walked along the path he hoped would take him to the village.  

[Nurgle Burglar]

The zora was interrupted by a pale face with a vacant look hanging upside down from the trees in front of him.

"Do you wish to teleport with me?"  

[Esquire Mitch]

Rutu looked up. "That would be nice, you are aware the rest of existence can't defy gravity right?"

Rutu looked puzzled.

"Errrr how exactly do we go about this?"  

[Nurgle Burglar]

"About?" Jum replied, "We shall go about nothing. That is the convenience of teleporting. We shall go through."

No sooner had he said that then he flew towards the zora's open mouth. His body narrowed and became less than solid as he streamed in between his lips. As he passed by, he grabbed the Rutu by the nose. His face distorted as the laws of physics were defied and he was sucked into his own mouth.

A second later the last of his feet disappeared into nothing, leaving only a few fluttering leaves and a sloppy "pop" as they did.

[Give me another post to describe the teleport, but you can react to before we go in]  

[Esquire Mitch]

((nahhh, just continue, I'll post later like he was too surprised ro somethin))  

[Nurgle Burglar]

The world around them blurred as they were sucked through subspace, much like the blurring of stars in hyperspace. Neither of them knew this, as neither of them had ever seen startrek, but they would immediately have made the connection if they had. The world around them took on a sepia tone, and a light appeared in the direction of their movement.

The air seemed to rush around them, but as there was no air it wasn't really. The vacuum in the subspace strained to free the air from the zora's lungs.  

[Esquire Mitch]

Rutu knew this feeling, ok well, he didn't exactly know the feeling but he knew what it felt like. He had once latched himself onto the back of a racing leviathan like creature. It swam much faster than Rutu ever could have on his own and pulled him along in the water at breakneck speed.

This was like that. Only there was no water. Or Leviathan. Or water...or well anything really, he didn't know why he was relating it to that, the only similarities where being pulled quickly, and the feeling of air attempting to escape his lungs, something he was quite used to from his attempts to swim as a Hylian a few times.

!!!!!

Pain flashed through his head and out his ears, he didn't know what happened, but he guessed it wasn't good.  

[Nurgle Burglar]

It turns out, it was good.

The two of them exited the warp in the middle of the forest, but in a different part of the forest than they had been in before. Here there were little houses, but they all seemed empty. Strewn about were a few skeletons and a lot of live Deku Babas. The sky overhead was dark.

Okay, so maybe the definition of the word good was up for interpretation.

They weren't dead though.