Welcome to Gaia! ::

Mommy and Daddy's Heart

Back to Guilds

A guild where mothers and fathers, new and old, can come together to share tips, storys, and all those happy moments 

Tags: Mother, Father, Baby, Children, pregnant 

Reply Mommy and Daddy's Heart
Need "In-law" advice. Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Z0mb1na

PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 7:00 pm


It's strange that I'm asking for advice since I'm usually the advice giver.
But I digress.
My boyfriend's (father of my daughter) mom (Brenda) has a 7 year old son who is completely out of control and my "in-laws" never discipline him.
They just let him get away with everything.
Which really bothers me since I'm always worried he's going to hurt her or be mean to her if she's left alone with him.
I've tried voicing my concerns with her but she always basically brushes me off saying I'm silly.
She doesn't think he ever does anything wrong.
She's really naive when it comes to him.
And I can't ever threaten if he doesn't behave that I won't bring my daughter over because she's our only babysitter.
My mom works 7 days a week and my dad lives far away.
If I didn't take her over there my boyfriend and I would never get our much needed adult time.
I rarely bring her over because of my concerns and it's really taxing on me to hardly get any breaks.
I've asked my boyfriend to talk to her for me since obviously he knows her better.
But he refuses.

Has anyone ever been in this situation or have any advice?
PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 7:17 pm


Me and you have a lot in common. I'm acually in a very similar boat except mines more of a verbal issue. My in laws have a daughter and son who are completely out of control. Their daughter is 13 and she'll cry and throw a fit if she doesn't get what she wants. Their son is 18 and will act the younger children if they make him angrey. The daughter told me yesterday I was a neglectful mother cause I asked her to change a diaper and didn't do it myself so she'll never be babysitting my daughter. As for the son I would cut my husbands nuts off for leaving Sasha with him...I guess since Sasha is a super good sleeper we don't have the issues you do with relations but I do have the same family issues...

As far as that goes they don't belive me ether so I've just kinda learned to deal...bout all I can do..

Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Captain


kinkykitty89
Crew

Ruthless Elder

15,000 Points
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
  • Brandisher 100
  • Treasure Hunter 100
PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 11:24 pm


If she is as stubborn as she sounds then there is nothing you can do. She won't listen to her son's girlfriend because you are just that, an outsider who isn't her blood relative. Even if you were she probably wouldn't listen to you since you are younger.

I don't really have that issue because my husband's mother and her husband and their daughter's have been cut from our lives and his bio father and his girlfriend and children live far away. Depending on how young your daughter is she may start sleeping more.

My daughter will be two in August and she'll sit down and watch tv or go play with her Uncle Boo Boo while my husband and I have relations. Have you tried putting her in her crib or bassinet and let her play with a musical toy? I know my daughter would love it when we would play rock music and turn the lights on her mobile on.

It's all about finding out what works for her to make her comfortable and give ya'll some time to yourselves. After all, his mother won't always be there and obviously she will do nothing about her son which could potentially put your daughter in danger.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 5:48 am


Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Me and you have a lot in common. I'm acually in a very similar boat except mines more of a verbal issue. My in laws have a daughter and son who are completely out of control. Their daughter is 13 and she'll cry and throw a fit if she doesn't get what she wants. Their son is 18 and will act the younger children if they make him angrey. The daughter told me yesterday I was a neglectful mother cause I asked her to change a diaper and didn't do it myself so she'll never be babysitting my daughter. As for the son I would cut my husbands nuts off for leaving Sasha with him...I guess since Sasha is a super good sleeper we don't have the issues you do with relations but I do have the same family issues...

As far as that goes they don't belive me ether so I've just kinda learned to deal...bout all I can do..



i hoped it wouldnt come to that.
but im seeing that i really have no choice.
-sigh-

Z0mb1na


Z0mb1na

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 5:51 am


kinkykitty89
If she is as stubborn as she sounds then there is nothing you can do. She won't listen to her son's girlfriend because you are just that, an outsider who isn't her blood relative. Even if you were she probably wouldn't listen to you since you are younger.

I don't really have that issue because my husband's mother and her husband and their daughter's have been cut from our lives and his bio father and his girlfriend and children live far away. Depending on how young your daughter is she may start sleeping more.

My daughter will be two in August and she'll sit down and watch tv or go play with her Uncle Boo Boo while my husband and I have relations. Have you tried putting her in her crib or bassinet and let her play with a musical toy? I know my daughter would love it when we would play rock music and turn the lights on her mobile on.

It's all about finding out what works for her to make her comfortable and give ya'll some time to yourselves. After all, his mother won't always be there and obviously she will do nothing about her son which could potentially put your daughter in danger.



shes going to be 4 months the 6th.
sex isnt the issue.
shes finally sleeping for 6+ hour blocks now.
its more like going out to a club or the movies.
we barely go out once a month.
it really gets to me.
i need time away from everything.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:22 am


Well we bring Sasha with us for most things, no one wants to watch her around here unless its for something important like us working haha. We can't go out drinking but we figure out other things we can do with her like eatting out and seeing movies.

Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Captain


Z0mb1na

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:03 pm


Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Well we bring Sasha with us for most things, no one wants to watch her around here unless its for something important like us working haha. We can't go out drinking but we figure out other things we can do with her like eatting out and seeing movies.


it sucks because i cant get a break from her.
i feel trapped almost.
i wouldnt bring her to the movies until shes a bit older.
shes only 4 months.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 7:27 am


Z0mb1na
Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Well we bring Sasha with us for most things, no one wants to watch her around here unless its for something important like us working haha. We can't go out drinking but we figure out other things we can do with her like eatting out and seeing movies.


it sucks because i cant get a break from her.
i feel trapped almost.
i wouldnt bring her to the movies until shes a bit older.
shes only 4 months.


Do ya'll have money? I don't ask cause I want a acual number but I ask cause I wonder if you could afford a on call nanny. One that doesn't come all the time but only when you need her

Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Captain


xoxoPink Supremexoxo
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 3:47 pm


Not to be rude, but if you have 'concerns' about the people watching your daughter, you shouldn't be leaving her with them. No matter how bad you need a break rolleyes

If you have concerns about the in-laws, hire a babysitter. If you can't afford that, then you don't get nights away from you daughter. I haven't had a break from my son for the 5 months he's been alive, let alone have alone time with my boyfriend. We can't afford it, and there is no one I trust willing to do it for free.

I honestly am not trying to be rude but if you have concerns about your in-laws your child should not be with them alone.
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:12 am


Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Z0mb1na
Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Well we bring Sasha with us for most things, no one wants to watch her around here unless its for something important like us working haha. We can't go out drinking but we figure out other things we can do with her like eatting out and seeing movies.


it sucks because i cant get a break from her.
i feel trapped almost.
i wouldnt bring her to the movies until shes a bit older.
shes only 4 months.


Do ya'll have money? I don't ask cause I want a acual number but I ask cause I wonder if you could afford a on call nanny. One that doesn't come all the time but only when you need her



were not poor but were dont have a lot of money really either at the moment.
my bf and i are going back to school.
so moneys a bit tight.

but im afraid of trusting her with strangers.

Z0mb1na


Z0mb1na

PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:15 am


xoxoPink Supremexoxo
Not to be rude, but if you have 'concerns' about the people watching your daughter, you shouldn't be leaving her with them. No matter how bad you need a break rolleyes

If you have concerns about the in-laws, hire a babysitter. If you can't afford that, then you don't get nights away from you daughter. I haven't had a break from my son for the 5 months he's been alive, let alone have alone time with my boyfriend. We can't afford it, and there is no one I trust willing to do it for free.

I honestly am not trying to be rude but if you have concerns about your in-laws your child should not be with them alone.



im going to give you future advice.
just because you say youre "not trying to be rude" doesnt mean youre not.

if you dont put yourself first sometimes you arent the best mother you can be to your child and can be mean or neglectful.
so "im not trying to be rude" but child experts would agree with me.
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:53 pm


Well, I did say I was trying sorry I didnt succeed.

I just know, that I would never ever leave my son with someone I didn't trust 100%. I am not telling you that your a bad mom/parent for wanting to get out. I'm just saying, if you want to get out you should be leaving your child with someone you feel comfortable with. There are babysitters you can pay $5 an hour if you look.

I would never ever leave my son with my in laws. In fact, they're not allowed to even see my son.

xoxoPink Supremexoxo
Vice Captain


Z0mb1na

PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:21 am


xoxoPink Supremexoxo
Well, I did say I was trying sorry I didnt succeed.

I just know, that I would never ever leave my son with someone I didn't trust 100%. I am not telling you that your a bad mom/parent for wanting to get out. I'm just saying, if you want to get out you should be leaving your child with someone you feel comfortable with. There are babysitters you can pay $5 an hour if you look.

I would never ever leave my son with my in laws. In fact, they're not allowed to even see my son.



sorry.
im touchy about people judging my parenting.


i dont trust babysitters.
and his mom is a good person and is good to my daughter.
her son is the problem.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:56 am


@Pink - I wouldn't leave my dog in the care of your in-laws blaugh sorry that wasn't so funny...


@zombina - Maybe you just need to find cheaper methods of getting out of the house. I'm kinda broke now too so me and david will order Micky D's and then just go out to a park to eat it and chat. I don't know that what you do is expensive but you sound like a party mamma (not in a bad way) lol.

Z-MusicalChairMassacre-U
Captain


xoxoPink Supremexoxo
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 3:31 pm


Z0mb1na
xoxoPink Supremexoxo
Well, I did say I was trying sorry I didnt succeed.

I just know, that I would never ever leave my son with someone I didn't trust 100%. I am not telling you that your a bad mom/parent for wanting to get out. I'm just saying, if you want to get out you should be leaving your child with someone you feel comfortable with. There are babysitters you can pay $5 an hour if you look.

I would never ever leave my son with my in laws. In fact, they're not allowed to even see my son.



sorry.
im touchy about people judging my parenting.


i dont trust babysitters.
and his mom is a good person and is good to my daughter.
her son is the problem.

I didn't mean to seem like I was judging you. I'm sorry I've been really pissy the last few days.

Musical - Baha I wouldn't even leave a fish in my in-laws care.
Reply
Mommy and Daddy's Heart

Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum