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 Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 4:56 am
"I wouldn't react if you came home with a girlfriend, you know. I think I was open about that. I didn't take for granted that you'd be... you know. But I could never have expected... this."
My mum, talking about my asexuality with me. It was in a nice tone. I've been out for years. My mother tries to explain that ey didn't expect me to be heterosexual and tried to have an open mind
and my mother did do a good job. I remember that ey more or less asked me if I was trans, before I did identify as trans. But ey didn't know about asexuality so of course it was a surprise.
On coming out and others reactions, what are your stories?
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:05 pm
I don't have a complicated story, my mom noticed since the beginning.
When I was more interested on non sexual and non dating things.Though, she believe for a moment that I was lesbian and ask me, before making an statement of it and then a battery of questions began, but she never told me nothing about my condition. And then I discovered by a perv guy in the internet. xp  
Don't need big luxuries to enjoy life...
by Botan Neko
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:33 pm
nanieru And then I discovered by a perv guy in the internet. xp
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:14 pm
I tell my parents I'm gay to scare them.
But I wouldn't think you'd have to "come out" as an asexual.
There is nothing to discuss. No one has to know. It doesn't impact others around you.
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:23 am
Yes it does. Well it depends on who you're with, the culture and society I guess but I'm expected to have sex and that is noticable in conversations. I tell people so that they don't expect me to have sex, so they know that when I say I'm in love with someone I'm not saying I need a condom.
My mother was joking with me earlier, I was leaving my parents home (I sleep there pretty often) and my mother was worrying that I'd forget something. So ey was like "Do you have your keys and your phone?" "Yes mother"
And then ey said this string of words that's like a common thing to say to remember everything that's important. All the words begin with the same letter
"Pengar, pass, p-piller?" (means money, passport and contraceptive pill)
and then added "Oh no, you don't need that wink "
I like that my mother can joke about it smile
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:36 am
I've 'come out' to my mom. At first I tried to explain it in simple terms, not using the term "asexual", but that really didn't work. Eventually I got extremely frustrated and illustrated it to her with a little cartoon and sent her the link to AVEN. I think she gets it now, and accepts it, though at times I get the feeling she thinks I'm just kidding myself.
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The MoUsY spell-checker Crew
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Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 8:27 pm
I never used the word "asexual" with my mum. She once asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said I'm not interested, so she asked if I was interested in girls, and I said the point is that I'm not interested in anyone. She takes this as immaturity. Oh well. At least she hasn't asked about it for a while.
I suppose I came out as aromantic rather than asexual, since not wanting a romantic partner does not necessarily mean that one is asexual, nor does asexuality necessarily mean not wanting a romantic partner. Then again, our discussion was more focused on relationships (or lack thereof) rather than sex anyway.
Come to think of it, I don't actually know how to say "aromantic" as opposed to "asexual" in Chinese, or if there's even such a term. (Actually, this would make a good topic for AVEN. Words in other languages.)
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Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:34 am
Been awhile since a post... Anyway I think my parents also think it is immaturity on my part. Like.. in a couple years my feelings will change... but they've been saying that for years lmao. I'm 18 now, I really don't think it's gonna change. neutral They still think one day "I'll get over it" and get married to a nice man and have kids... Like I'm some cow whose only purpose in life is to do so. Maybe I will adopt some day, but seriously don't want to bear children. .-. And I don't even believe in marriage.
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Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 10:03 pm
I've really only told a few people, and I've gotten different reactions from all of them.
My best friend was just like, "...so you're dying a virgin?"
My response: "...totally."
She's really open minded, so we joke about this constantly. xD
When one of my ex's found out, he stopped flirting with me. >3>; Not sure he knows what asexuality is, though; whatever, it saved me some issues. xD
And my other ex...pft. She was like, "...how odd. :'D"
Because our orientations never came up when we were dating. Only after. x3
And she only said it was odd since she's pansexual, but it explained why I was "being a prude all the time." >3>;
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:35 pm
My mom and dad know about my asexuality. They don't have any problems with it, except that they believe the lack of sex could be a huge hole in my life and possibly cause me to be unhappy. They also believe (and hope) that there's a possibility that I'll "grow out of it" and become heterosexual someday. The only problem I've ever really had with them about it is when I told my mom I never masturbated, and then she thought that was why I was asexual. She thought I just needed to pop my masturbation cherry, and she kept encouraging me to masturbate, which was odd, to say the least....
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:52 am
Mavvy58 She thought I just needed to pop my masturbation cherry, and she kept encouraging me to masturbate, which was odd, to say the least....
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 11:03 pm
My mom doesn't understand what "asexual" is and doesn't understand that I don't feel about anyone in a sexual way. I try to explain to her but she thinks I'm joking or think it's something I'll grow out of. I'm pretty sure my dad understands and accepts it though. Like, he doesn't question me about it or show signs of disbelief.
In the past, I've had a couple relationships (or some that were pretty close to being a relationship) and those people all refused to believe that there is such thing as being asexual. They all told me the reason I don't want to have sex because I'm "afraid of trying new things" and that I "want to stay a little kid forever." And that if I don't have sex I'll never "grow up." And stuff like that. But really I just didn't feel right about having sex with them or anyone else I've known so far. I don't understand what the big deal is, and why it's hard for people to accept or believe that someone is asexual.
Hmm I haven't really told my friends yet, cause they never brought it up and never tried to pressure me into anything.
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:01 pm
Mikusagi nanieru And then I discovered by a perv guy in the internet. xp Yeah! I know right, pretty uncommon.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:06 pm
I'm out as Ace to... Umm. Most of the people I care about, I think? I dunno, it's hard to know for sure because I tell some people, and my friends and sister tell others, so... Yeah. :blush:
I'm out to my sister, mom, aunt, and cousins, for sure. Sort of to my grandmother, only she doesn't quite understand what I'm talking about... And to most of my friends. The people I'm not out to, well... It's because it's never come up, not because I'm ashamed/scared to tell them/whatever. I don't think that sexuality in general is the type of thing that needs to be brought up just for the sake of it. That's why a lot fewer people know I'm lesbian, than that I'm Ace. The whole "I'm not interested in sex, period" thing comes up a lot more often than "I'm romantically attracted to females." Probably because I'm very, very rarely attracted to anyone romantically. (A handful of females, and exactly one guy--theoretically I'm panromantic/asexual, since I wouldn't be against the idea of dating a guy if I actually liked him, it just hasn't happened often. Easier to just say lesbian, y'know?)
... If I went all rambly with that, which I think I did, then I apologize. heart
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:10 pm
When I came out to my parents as asexual, mom just decided it was a phase and pretended nothing had changed. I eventually just gave up and let her think whatever as she kept trying to force boyfriends on me.
And then I came out as bisexual and started dating my current girlfriend, and you'll have to excuse my profanity, but s**t hit the fan. I got kicked out, sent to therapy, locked in the house, and for the longest time, she kept throwing in my face that I was asexual and so I can't be gay. It was a terrible mess, but she's trying to be more understanding now (after nearly a year).
Wahoo for getting to come out twice. :/
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