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Perseverance, I believe is an inadequate term to describe "heart". For myself, the strongest evidence of perseverance came not in the form of martial training (though Krav Maga training is rigorous and difficult!) but rather when I went through boot camp. For twelve weeks, me and my division-mates helped each other along and pushed and pushed and learned our limits and then broke them. Finally, in the big final test, we were deprived of sleep (I, having screwed up earlier in the day was made to perform intense workout from six in the evening until lights out, meaning not only was I deprived of sleep, but I was extremely sore and beaten) and then awoken after only about fifteen minutes of light rest. Then, for the next twenty four hours we were on the move, running from station to station all throughout the Recruit Training Command singing cadence and the Naval theme "Anchors Away" at the top of our lungs.

There was no walking, no rest. If you closed your eyes for even five seconds, you failed and would have to repeat the test with your next division as much as five weeks later. The tests were rigorous, encompassing all of the knowledge we had accrued over the entire tenure of our stay in boot camp. Toward the end, most of us had nearly collapsed. I was made to carry a sea bag full of wet towels (calculated at around 140 pounds or so) for over a mile at a fast jog. We carried a body on a stretcher through the obstacle course and the combat simulation. Shot rifles at targets concealed by strobe lights. Prepared a mock ship to sail before a theoretical hurricane struck in record time. Climbed through a tear-gas covered, smoke-filled room with nothing but a flashlight and a gas mask as assistance.

The lesson I learned from that night and my naval career afterwards is that everyone has heart, has the ability to persevere to a certain degree. It is when you work together with others, however that you can transcend your limits and destroy the barriers that you thought you could not pass by. If not for my division-mates, I would have crumbled that night under physical and mental strain. I met my limits that week, and I can proudly say that I surpassed them with the help of friends and my own will to continue.

I remember that ... remeber how whenever we got in a clinch ... I would like say to you ... "let's do this" "come on, you can do this" "no pain" ... stuff like that ...

I do remember a time where I saw this happen ... I was walking home ... standard day ... bunch of other kids too ... I remember these four jocks ... they were the classic definition of a jock ... big, dumb, and looking to start some s**t ... they were driving the classic "douche-mobile" (a overly big truck) ... when they stopped and started harassing this kid ... he was 5'6'' ish ... probably 100, maybe 110 pounds ... wore glasses .. carrying his books ...

Now one the jocks ... thinking that it will make him look good in front of his friends ... gets out the truck and starts pushing him around ... it slowly escalates ... to the point where he tosses him down the hill that was on the side of the road ... (no worries, it was a shallow thing) ... the jocks of course are laughing their heads off ... what they don't see ... this kid get's up ... runs up the hill ... straightened up his things ... takes off his glasses ... and literatly screamed the same words I posted in my earlier post ... the words that will be forever branded in my memories ... "I AM READY TO DIE!!!" ...

And then he charged ... he actually pushed the jock into the truck ... which piss off the driver ... which in turn pisses off the rest of them ... they all jumped in ... beat him up ... and then tossed him down the hill ... but this kid gets up and charges again ... and again ... and again ... and I saw it in those jocks' eyes ... they were getting afraid ... no matter what they did to this kid ... he kept coming back for more ... so after like the tenth time tossing him down the hill ... they run their asses to the truck and peeled out of there ... as the kid ran up the hill ... he straighten himself up (he was bloodied up, knots all over the place, some small cuts, bruised) ... put his glasses back on ... and walked away as if nothing happened ...

I never saw those jocks in that area again ...

To this day it still amazes me ...

I was watching "25 Reasons to Worship Ninja Warrior" and well one of the reasons they gave struck a cord with me ... I forgot the number but it was called "Against the Odds" ... anyway ... during the description it narrarted something like ... "Heart is not measured by medals or trophies, it is measured by a person's courage to go against the odds." ... this struck me, because it reminded me of my early amateur career ... I was 5'6'' at 185 ... my opponents were "taller, bigger, stronger" ... people told me I couldn't win ... I was too weak, no expeirenced enough, too small ... well I faced the odds and well beat them all ...

I remember a time ... it was one of my earlier fights ... baka, ladyMT, afro, mr. MMA were cornering me ... our confidence was high ... ladycagefighter had won her fight in impressive fashion and we got the energy from that ...unfortunately going into my fight I let that confidence get to my head alittle ... I had a hellish first round ... the guy that I was fighting was pushing the pace ... now here's the thing ... I'm usually the one that does this ... my opponent was pretty much landing at will ... not only that but I had also suffered a pretty bad cut right underneath my eye ... mentally I was almost gone ... I wanted to give up between rounds ... but baka spoke to me ... he splashed water in my face ... that woke me up ... and then he said his words ... do you remember what you said ... because I do ...

"What the ******** are you doing out there. You should be pushing this fight. Now I know your hurt, you're aching, but think about everyone you're fighting for. Not just us, think of your friends and family. Think of your tribe."

And then I looked around ... everything seemed to slow down ... I saw my corner ... a look of grim determination on their face ... I looked into the crowd ... I saw some of the members of my tribe there ... worried yet stern ... I knew what I had to do ... and baka helped me to refocus on it ... I went onto win that fight ... I finished him in the third ... and I thank baka for that ...