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 Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:24 am
Genres: Drama, Horror, Romance, Action/Adventure
Rating: 16+
Plot: A girl once so sweet and innocent has became one of the most infamous and corrupted murderers in all of the United States, not for how many she has murdered, but for her way of murdering them. Can someone who was once close to her change her back to how she was supposed to be?
Time and Setting: The United States/Memphis, Tennesee, February 2017  A/N: Not all facts about the characters are correct, and some are estimated. Name: Sita Matthiews
Gender: female
Birthday: February 17
Place of Birth: Middletown, Ohio
Age: 22
Height: 5'6"
Bio: When her older brother was killed by a mysterious unknown murderer for an unknown reason, she snapped from all the pressure and stress of her former life.
Picture: Name: Desynji Soutenchi
Gender: male
Birthday: February 10
Place of Birth: Chicago, Illinois
Age: 27
Height: 6'1"
Bio: A mafia leader searching for more potentially powerful members to join his mafia.
Picture: Name: Jacob Esan
Gender: male
Birthday: November 16
Place of Birth: Little Rock, Arkansas
Age: 22
Height: 5'8"
Bio: A member of Desynji's mafia, and also a past boyfriend of Sita's. They were close when they were just teens and became closer, but he left her side when they were both 16 and joined the mafia known as Rakuyo alongside Desynji.
Picture: Name: Becca Douglass
Gender: female
Birthday: November 21
Place of Birth: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Age: 25
Height: 5'7"
Bio: The only woman in Desynji's mafia. She is dangerous and listed as a Class A criminal along with Desynji. She and Desynji have been in a relationship since their first year of University together.
Picture:
 Name: Melissa Whitlock
Gender: female
Birthday: April 30
Place of Birth: Huntington, West Virginia
Age: 24
Height: 5'9"
Bio: One of Sita's closest friends, and at one point in time, her girlfriend. She and Sita were both bisexual and it is unknown if they remain that way. Melissa is behind Sita in most of her decisions and ideas, but she does not participate alongside her in the killing. She supports Sita by giving her information of her next victims, which are also criminals.
Picture: Name: Andrew Masterson
Gender: male
Birthday: May 1
Place of Birth: Frankfort, Kentucky
Age: 20
Height: 5'8"
Bio: Another past boyfriend of Sita's but still a close friend. Although he is younger than Sita, he is as mature as she is. He backs her up when she needs him to assist her in a murder, but he doesn't interfere with her trademark to signify she was the one who killed the victim. They were close friends when Sita was 14 and Andrew was only 12; that's when they first met. He is envious of Melissa's relationship with her.
Picture: A/N: Characters will be added when I think of them. "I am tired of waiting for the jackass to show up at my door to kill me next. So I will put this filthy country to justice myself. Screw the police...lazy bastards..."
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:13 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:22 pm
Remeber Who I Was - Prologue December 9, 2004 She walked alongside Yukon, her Siberian husky, through the winter snow of Ashland, Kentucky. Smiling to herself she thought of Chris, her older brother, whom she lived with; their parents lived in another house and were glad that Chris was so responsible. On her way home she decided to ride Yukon like a pony, since she was small and tired. She connected with Yukon when they were home alone together and Yukon protected her. So even being only the age of nine, her brother said it was okay for her to walk alone only if she took Yukon with her.
His ears suddenly perked up and he howled loudly.
"...what's the matter, boy?" the girl asked her dog.
He only howled a little more and started running towards their house. As they approached the girl could hear a man's screaming and another man's laughter. Yukon bolted into the house as the girl jumped from his back to stand in the doorway of their livingroom. There she saw Chris on the floor, who was bleeding to death from his wounded side. Yukon was biting the strange man who held the knife responsible for the wound; the sight made her scream bloody murder. She ran to Chris's side and held his head in her lap.
"No! Please Bubby!" she wailed, "Please don't die!"
Chris spoke to her softly as Yukon made multiple gashes in the other man's arm and leg. "Sita..." he mumbled softly, taking one of her small hands in his, "...call Mom and Dad...and...the police..."
These were his last words.
The man only laughed harder, but screamed when he realized he was injured from the dog biting him. "You stupid mutt!" He kicked Yukon and Yukon backed away, going to Sita's side to protect her.
"I hate you! I hate you so much!" Sita screamed hysterically at the man. "Why did you have to kill my brother?!" she couldn't see through her tears as she stood to let her brother's head fall to the crimson-colored, carpeted floor. His eyes were closed as she ran to find his cell phone.
"Because there's nothing like the thrill of one last murder...but he is not the last, little girl. You'll be next!" the murderer called to her and fled the scene of the crime, just as she found his phone.
The first people she called were the police; she cried into the phone as she told them her address and to come quickly. As the police arrived she called her parents, telling them all that happened.
It was all a blur to her after that.December 9, 2013 She sat in front of her brother's final resting place and cried softly.
"Chris...I know...it's been nine years since the incident..." she said quietly, as if she was speaking to him in private. "And I know I have visited you every year in between. I miss you." She paused to wipe her tears away. "I know you would want me to move on, Chris...Bubby...but I just can't. He had no right to kill you...no right at all...and I still hate him to this day. The cops caught him juat a couple years ago, when he was about to commit another murder. I wanted to remind you, so hopefully you'd be happy where ever you are now." She paused again to think to herself, then spoke and said, "Mom and Dad will be coming soon, and I don't want them to see me like this. So I need to go. I love you Bubby."
Sita stood and as she walked to her car, she thought more to herself. She suddenly stopped and ran back to his grave. "I will avenge your death, Chris!" she exclaimed and shouted to the sky. "Do you hear me out there?! Who ever you are?! And the same for all of you criminals! I'll kill you all!"
She laughed hysterically and ran to her car, as if being chased by some invisible monster. As she started the black mercedes up, she mumbled to herself.
"I am tired of waiting for the jackass to show up at my door to kill me next. So I will put this filthy country to justice myself. Screw the police...lazy bastards..."------------------------------------------------------------- Remember Who I Was - Prologue End
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Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:42 pm
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I-CrissXApplesauce-I Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:49 pm
Okay to start off, it was okay. Your story has a lot of potential, but the little extra characters you use, the murderer in this case, need to fit the personality of who they are. A murderer wouldn't let the little girl live long enough to find the cell phone, if anything as soon as the dog attacked he'd a been out of there (especially with a husky). The good thing is you seem to have really strong characters, and it would be a really good thing to make a prelude for each of the separately explaining the relationships between your character and them, or 2 other characters to one another. Also, try to be a bit more descriptive, use better words, be a bit more formal, but maintain a personal aspect. One more thing that I beg of you right now, Please do not use parts of your other stories in this one. I want you to be creative and original, it will help if you write about new things. It will give you more variety and freedoms in your writing if you do =)
i can't wait to read the next update =)
Addition:I noticed, your story resembles Desynji's in a way. He noticed it as well but is too nice to comment on it, try to make it more your own, but keep in mind everything i told you =)
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Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:47 pm
Remember Who I Was - An Explanation Once Forgotten, Prologue Two Explanation OneOctober 17, 2009Sita smiled softly as she stared at the computer screen; she was on a popular website chatting with a new friend. Being fourteen, her hormones were just beginning to develop even though she acted more mature than all the other students in the class.
She continued to type quickly a reply to a boy with the username 'andrweason', saying what she typed to guide her.
"Andrew, I'm glad you've accepted me into the guild. I really hope our friendship can blossom into something beautiful. My current relationship with Bleach Esan is no topic to discuss right now, but I will tell you if anything happens between us."
She sighed softly and hit the send button, sitting back and browsing the website. She giggled everytime the site notified her when it granted her gold. "Gaia...I like this," she said to herself, looking at the various avitars of her friends, who she didn't really even know.
A bubble popped up that told her she had recieved a new private message. When she clicked on it to go to her inbox, she noticed the message was from Bleach Esan; a new online boyfriend.
"Kikyo, I want to know everything about you! My real name is Jacob and I live in Arkansas. My favorite color is blue and I love to get on Gaia. What are you like in real life?" the message read. Sita smiled and hit the reply button.
"Well Jakey, if you don't mind me calling you that since we're dating now...my name is Sita and I live where the horses do, in Kentucky. My favorite color is purple right now and my hobbies are reading, listening to music, and various other things..." she typed as a response.
As soon as she sent it she recieved another message from andrweason. It read, "That's nice, Sita, and I would love to...well, date you if Bleach ever breaks up with you. So please just be active in the guild for now and you'll be safe from being banned."
She blushed intensely and decided not to respond to Andrew's message. She knew he was only twelve, but she thought he had potential. She went back to her inbox and found yet another message from Jacob.
"Sita...I'm sorry if I took too long to reply. I really think your name is different and pretty. Can we meet somewhere sometime? Oh, also, I'm fourteen years old. How old are you?"
"Jacob, it's fine darling. I am fourteen as well and maybe when we're a little older we can meet somewhere. I promise."
She smiled and sent the message before logging out of Gaia.Five moths later...
February 17, 2010
Sita blushed softly as it was her fifteenth birthday arrived. She told her parents she was going to meet a friend of hers named Gabby at the skating rink; she partially told the truth, for she would also be meeting Jacob there. She pulled on a coat and stepped out of her parents' car, rushing into the hopefully warm skating rink.
"Sita! Over here," a girl with short red hair and about the same height called and waved her over to a table.
"Hi Gabby," she called and jogged over to the table, sitting next to a new person whom she felt like she had met somewhere previously.
"You're Sita? The Sita?" The boy with blonde hair asked with eyes wide.
She turned and smiled softly, giving a subtle nod. The boy smiled in response and hugged her.
"Oh, it's awesome to finally see you in person, my lovely rose!" he exclaimed, "I thought I would never get to see you!"
"Jake!" Sita gasped and gave him a quick kiss. "I love you. I'm happy you made it. When do you return to Arkasas?"
"I go back in a couple weeks. I'm here with my parents, but they trust me enough to go out on my own." Jacob smiled again and didn't let go, as if he was afraid if he did she would suddenly disappear. "Here," he said, handing her a little red box, "I bought this for you for your birthday, and our new relationship."
She slowly opened the box, finding a necklace within. The pendant on the necklace was a cross with pink jewels on it.
"...Jacob..." she mumbled with tears in her eyes, "...thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me..."
She had worn that necklace every day after that.Explanation TwoFebruary 18, 2013 A boy walked from park bench to park bench in the dead of winter; he looked very cold, and young. He only had on a pair of black gym shorts that were shredded and bloodied, along with a shredded grey tank top that was also bloodied. He laid on a snow-covered bench, hoping the snow and slight ice would calm his pain. He weakly closed his eyes, but before long, he felt a nuzzle from the nose of a large dog. When he opened his eyes, he saw a grey husky with one blue eye and one green eye; the boy followed the dog's leash with his gaze, finding a girl that looked to be in her early twenties.
"...uh...hello? Are you okay?" she asked softly, stooping down to meet him face to face.
"...I...ugh...I got in a fight with...a...bully..." he mumbled weakly with a shake of his head to rid his black hair of the falling snow. "Hey...Miss..."
"Hm? Yes?"
"Do you...have a first-aid kit with you?" He looked up at her with the most pitiful face she had seen.
She blushed softly and shook her head.
"No, but I know where we can get one. If you don't mind coming home with me, my mom and I can fix you up there."
"Just...anything to get...out of the cold, and bandaged up," he said a bit stronger as he stood. He was taller than she was, yet he knew he must be younger.
"Yeah. That sounds good." The girl smiled cutely and took his hand in hers. "My home isn't too far away. If we keep a good pace, we should be there in about five minutes." She grabbed the husky's leash with her right hand and led the dog alongside them.
"Can I ask your name?" the boy asked softly to her, hoping to not draw any attention to them.
"Oh, of course. Sorry...my name is Sita. What's your name?"
"Andrew...wait a sec!"
"What's the matter?"
"Don't you have a Gaia account?"
"Yes...what are you getting at?" She looked at him with a slightly amused and confused look.
"My username is 'andrweason'. I think I might have you as a friend on there..."
"Oh...my...Blaziken!"
"Blaziken?"
"Fave pokemon...anyway, I do have you as a friend!" She smiled and laughed. "But we shouldn't care about that right now, Andrew, cause we need to get you to my house and now."
Andrew smiled; he felt a bit better, knowing he was in a friend's hands and that she actually cared about him.
An hour later...
"Do you mind if I stay in your room, then?" Andrew looked around Sita's room; it wasn't girly at all. It almost looked like a boy's room.
"Uh...well that's not something that comes up in conversation often." Sita laughed uneasily; it seemed she didn't hear him right, considering the fact she had one headphone from her iPod in and was playing a videogame on her PS2.
"Did you even hear me?"
"Nope!" She giggled and he sighed.
"Will you pause the game?"
"Aww dangit!"
"What?"
"I lost the game!"
"...I'm...not going to ask."
Sita paused the game and her music, turning to him. "Good, cause I don't want you to get sucked into it. Now what did you say?"
"I was asking you if I could stay in your room."
"Uh, well...Mom told you to, so it's fine with me. I'll sleep on the floor," she said, and smiled again.
"No. Can...can we share the bed?"
Both of their faces turned blood red.
"I...uh...sure."
"Thanks again, Sita..."
"Andrew."
"What?" He looked up to watch her play her game and was met by her intense stare. She looked down and blushed softly again.
"Me and Jake...well...we broke up."
"Oh no! Why, Sita?"
"...I can't even remember...and in fact, I don't want to remember."
"Do you think that you and I...?"
"Maybe. Well, yeah. Not maybe."
They laughed and hugged, with Andrew giving Sita a kiss on the cheek.
"How old are you now? I forgot to ask earlier..." This time Andrew laughed uneasily.
"I turned eighteen yesterday."
"Oh! I'm sorry. Happy birthday."
"Thank you..." she sighed and looked down, turning off her PS2 and laying on her side facing him.
"What...what's the matter?"
"It's just...Jacob broke up with me on my sixteenth birthday."
"Oh..."
The rest of the night was awkward to both of them.------------------------------------------------------------- Remember Who I Was - Prologue Two End
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I-CrissXApplesauce-I Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:04 am
honestly, i knew it was based partially on real life..and that is what kills be..BE ORIGINAL hun..act like you never met me nor Desynji, and he is someone you hear about in the future because he and i are class a criminals..and u kill criminals.....if u do a prelude for it..it would be between him and i...that would make the most sense..(don't call him Desu..it is a pet name and pet names are for couples..)
as for using real things..STOP..lol hun, it is sooo difficult to fit already molded events..into a forever molding story and sometimes the (already made) mold won't fit. Which is why the characters should be your slaves, to do what ever you want..you making their mold in the story out of creativity and originality..so stray away from reality and dive into creativity!...again this story has so much potential..and doing what you are trying to do will severely hinder it's progression, and make it become repetitive.
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Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2010 8:19 am
justice! XD its like a mafia deathnote thing XD except no deathnote XD
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