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Reply Writing: Poetry
KNIGHTS ENDING

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Super Bunnie Chan

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:33 am


“Final Goodbye”

The clanking of metal that did echo
, through the hills and valley it did bellow.
A man in pain at the ending of this day.
The setting of the sun shades his brow as the blood tickles down.
The man facing his fate can’t escape this dreadful date.
Time for this old man to meet his grave.
Yet he won’t go without being placed.
The clanking metal does race till it end in the old mans face.
Ending the day of this old mans race of noble blood and fierce rage.
Known through out his days that shall not fade.
A worrier by chance but never stumble from one glance.
A man falling to his knees remembering the memories of glee.
Time decreased thinking of the maiden he needs.
All over in just one swing
, Resting forever beneath a tree.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:34 pm


Quote:

The clanking metal does race till it end in the old mans face.

Is it supposed to be ends?

mans in the next line needs an apostrophe

on the second and last line did you want the comma and space at the beginning of the line?

I liked the poem. the details enough to keep the reader entertained, but little enough to keep our imagination alive. Please keep up the good work.

Kasi Karra
Crew

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Writing: Poetry

 
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