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Cute poem I loved it smile


I felt that this line was a bit out of line and didn't make too much sense (though I'm sure I'm probably forgetting something)


your here should be spelt you're


personally I would make this line two lines, right after you, unless I'm missing the structure (common for me)


I would add that to the next line instead of the first
And i think I would put something there instead of sea, because sea brings to mind the idea of The Little Mermaid instead of Cinderella and your poem is called Cinderella Rose


I would put the first line with the last stanza and get rid of the first "that" on the second line.

In that stanza you use the word 'that' a lot. Are you refering to something specific?


shouldn't it be says? and he said something so stick it in quotations.

don't in the next line should have an apostrophe

On the last line of that sentence did you mean the show must go on or did you like just "the show must go"?

Again in the last sentence don't has an apostrophe

I think on the third to last sentence I would prefer "so Princess" instead of "so Cinderella" but that is totally my opinion and your decision.

I loved this poem. I thought it was really cute, you put in a lot of the stuff from the Cinderella story and applied it all to the poem really well.

My poems are bad and are just made up of rhymes. crying
They are in the guild though.

@Kasi Karra - I think not. There's one more poem you haven't read though. ^^

I got a several, some of my favs are the short ones but here are a couple i liked:
You love me you love me not
I picked a thousand flowers in many a place lost in thought
I said you love me you love me not thousands of times in constant wonder
Plucked more pedals than i could ever count
Man I could have saved alot of time....
An Ocean of Love
Love is like the oceans that flow on forever,
Deeper than the bottom of our souls,
Always reaching out to that fool moon.
It always shifts unexpectedly,
And when the storm comes many a travelers are lost or gone.
But I will become a Captain of a great brigade,
Or a ruthless pirate of great desire,
Just to navigate those seas,
And find you once again my lost treasure, my true love.
A Hearts Desire
Why do i feel this way about you?
Like the rest of the world is no longer there, and my mind can not conceive your beauty and grace.
Why are you the one i can't touch?
Like an invisible force pulls me away from such immortal beauty, yet so frail that i am afraid to break the opportunity with the slightest brush.
What about you makes my heart beat faster?
Like the drum roll of a symphony, or the unattainable reach for perfection.
What about you makes my body so frail?
Like glass before your sight i feel you peer right through me, or the power of a gravity so great my legs feel like they will give.
Tell me why i am this way when i am with you so that i may become stronger for you.