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This is an individual that bothers me deeply. There are few larger "faces" of modern Christianity than Joel Osteen. This wouldn't be such a big problem for me if he weren't a false teacher. That's right. I said it. Joel Osteen is lying not only to America, but to the entire world. His television program is worldwide now. Do you know the two most popular admission tickets that Ticketmaster sells? U-2 is #1. Joel Osteen is #2. According to The Magazine for Church Business Administrators and Para Church Executives: The Church Report - The 50 Most Influential Christians in America has voted Joel Osteen in their #2 position.

Joel Osteen teaches what is known as "prosperity theology". Basically? "If you love Jesus, you will be rich, healthy, free from bad habits, addictions, and self-esteem, and do everything you always dreamed." I take the following from one of his "sermons":

"If you are facing sickness today, you should confirm God’s Word concerning healing. Say something such as, ‘Father, I thank You that You promised me in Psalms that I will live and not die and I will declare the works of the Lord."

Excuse me?? If I go by Joel's words, every time I have the sniffles, all I have to do is pray and I WILL be healed. This is ridiculous. He preaches that if we follow the Lord, we will be financially well-off, we will no longer be plagued with pain and sickness, and everything will be pie from then on. Well guess what, Joel? I never thought I'd quote the game Portal in a rant, but "THE CAKE IS A LIE." God never promised us this easy life that you promise me. He never said I'd be rich. Actually, as I recall, Jesus encouraged the contrary. He never said I'd be healthy all the time. He told us life would be hard. So I don't know what brand of Christ you're peddling, but it's not my Jesus.

I think Dr. Matthew McMahon said it best: "He is, for all intents and purposes, a New Age guru, propagating anti-Christian philosophies of self-betterment in an arena which reflects little more than a pep rally. For Osteen, God is seen as the Cosmic Bellhop that wants you to live your best life now, and Jesus is the Cheerleader who roots for you on the sidelines as His star quarterback." This message has another name: heresy.

And then there was the real bomb you dropped on Christians, and threw us under the bus. There was the Larry King interview. Thank you, Joel, for solidly affirming that YOU DON'T KNOW if Jesus is the only way to the Father (even though it's very plainly stated in John 14:6 that He is). Thank you for undermining the entire concept of evangelism on national television.

But I can't blame you, Joel. After all, it's not like you're an ordained minister. What more can I expect of an Oral Roberts first-year dropout whose first experience in ministry was becoming the full-time senior pastor of the family church. But you know what? Before you want to go before the entire world and make a mockery of the Bible that you don't like to quote in church, except when an out-of-context verse suits your needs, get in the Word or GTFO. Maybe I'm being too hard on you... but I don't think so.

Joel Osteen, you make me sick. Remember Jeremiah 23:1?

'What sorrow awaits the leaders of my people—the shepherds of my sheep—for they have destroyed and scattered the very ones they were expected to care for,” says the Lord.'

/rant

I've been reading the book of Job, and this is pretty much the theology of Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar. They believed that if you are good, you will be prosperous, and if you are wicked, you will be punished and live a horrible life. They falsely accused Job of wickedness and tried to make up excuses, trying to force him to admit to sins he never committed. That's the slippery slope of Osteen's theology.

The Gospel warns of wolves in sheeps' clothing, and that's exactly what Osteen is. He pretends to be a believer, yet he lies to millions and confuses people over international television and his football stadium of a congregation. I feel sorry for those who listen to that sad man. Good rant, Vox.