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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 12:09 am
 Ok, I'm a born and bred Catholic, I've known for years, reported for years on the horrors of abortion and how evil it is and the like. I've also grown up with an extremely zealous old-school, pre-Vatican II believer that is my mother. She has tried very hard to shove these beliefs down my throat. :cough:
Now my debate question is, is abortion acceptable when a victim has been raped? I was in this situation, when I was raped and there was some debate about me being pregnant (thankfully I wasn't). But if I was...I'm pretty sure I would think really hard about getting an abortion. I know that I wouldn't be able to handle the stresses of having a child (as in, giving birth/debate about putting it up for adoption/keeping it), dealing with the hormonal-body changes of a human growing inside of me. Especially after a violent assault. I purged my personal items and room to help myself deal with the aftermath. I tried my best to eliminate physical reminders of that night, of that guy who had proposed to me and forced himself on me.
My very lay Catholic side is interested to know if within the Catholic Church, this would be considered...shoot, I don't know the term...legal? Legit? Acceptable? I hear bits and pieces from people about abortion being horrible no matter what, but what about in this case? If I was pregnant and had an abortion...would that make me a mortal sinner?
._. I hope this is in the right section....
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:17 am
This is always a tough subject to talk about, mainly because there is so much emotional investment in it.
Those who have never experienced being pregnant from rape (or rape in general) do not understand the pain those people went through, and they never really will. It's something you can only fully understand if you've experienced it (like so many painful things in this world).
But let's step back for a moment and just look at some general principles of the Catholic faith.
1. Reciprocity. Do unto others as they do unto you. This was a general principle of many cultures, including the Jews. It's the whole eye for an eye idea. However, Christ taught us to turn the other cheek, to be kind to our enemies, and not strike back when we are wronged, but to forgive.
2. Protect the innocent. Justice is a very strong principle of Christianity, and we know that it is not just to punish someone for a crime they did not commit.
3. Sin is sin, and there is no excuse for it. Of course, there are venial and mortal sins, and there are things that will drop mortal sins down to the level of venial sins, but it is still a sin.
Now, let's look at the situation where a person has been raped and impregnated.
1. The first step is not to let that violent action destroy you and the good person that you are. No matter what others do to harm us, we still have the calling and the duty to be Christ-like people. That's not easy. It requires sacrifice and hard work and sometimes a lot of suffering. If a person isn't prepared to endure all of that, they need to ask themselves why they are Catholic, because you cannot be a true follower of Christ without being willing to sacrifice yourself for others. Whenever you ask yourself why you are choosing such a hard path, no matter what that hard path is, one of two things will happen. A. You'll realize that there is no reason to follow that path, and you'll choose something easier. B. You'll realize that the rewards at the end of that path far outweigh what we pay for them. Now, each person has to answer why they follow the difficult path for themselves, but for me, the reason was simply that the world becomes a better place. People are better, I am better, and that just gives all the more glory to God.
2. The fetus has not done anything wrong. I've never understood why people who are morally against abortion in all other situations feel that it would be any more moral in the situation of rape. Punish the rapist, not his child. The child has done nothing, so why is it suddenly morally acceptable to destroy it?
3. Two wrongs don't make a right. This is a principle we all learn from the time we're small children. You can't make something right by doing something wrong. You can push things under the rug and forget about them, and honestly, that may be the only way some people feel they can get through these kinds of situations.
And I know I have no right to tell anyone what they can or cannot handle, but I would like to throw out just this one thought. In my experience, people are always a lot stronger than they think they are. Terrible things happen to people, but they cope, and they get through it. It's not easy, not by a long shot, and those terrible things are never completely behind them. A piece of it always lingers. But it is up to each person to decide what to do with that piece, to decide whether to let it define who they are, or to let it become a part of who they want to be.
I know several rape victims, and none of them will ever be the same person they were before that incident, but some of them have been able to use that terrible experience as something positive. One of my friends talked to a room full of men and women, some who had been raped, and many who hadn't about what happened to her, giving strength and hope to those who were still coping with what had been done to them, and using that experience to motivate herself and others to actually doing something to help keep people safer from those situations.
The thing is, a rape victim can never undo what has been done to them, as much as they want to. When there's a pregnancy involved, the same is true. One can never undo being pregnant. Abortion gives the illusion of undoing it, but that's all it is: an illusion.
If a person knows that, then the next step is asking themselves what path they want to take next: the hard one or the easy one. In these situations, where the hard path is so incredibly hard, I would not begrudge anyone taking the easy path. However, we have to remember that God is always calling us towards that path that, as hard as it may be, glorifies him and all his works.
So will that be the path that takes the life of an innocent being for the crimes of their father, or will that be the path of sacrifice that allows a child to be born and have the opportunity for a wonderful life?
On an ending note, I would like to recognize the fact that, as someone who has fortunately never been raped, let alone gotten pregnant from rape, I can't even begin to understand how difficult this situation would be for those people. The above is what I think I would do now, but I have no idea what I would really do after experiencing something so traumatic.
I don't mean to make anyone who has been in a situation like this feel bad about a choice they made, or even just thought about making. We all make choices that we think are right at the time and realize they're mistakes later. And just as often, we make decisions that we think are the right decisions to our dying day, no matter who tells us we're wrong. God gave you a brain and a heart, and he speaks to you always. As long as you listen to him, trying to discern with your mind, heart, and your conscience what is the right step for you, I don't think anyone has call to make you feel bad for doing something you believed was right (as long as you are, in fact, listening to your mind and your heart and God).
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Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 3:22 pm
the answer is the same for a child conceived on purpose, not on purpose, or even against your will, because it's still a life which now exists(speaking hypothetically of course)
the issue you need to look at is not circumstance, but morality, and love, and understand that even the unwanted child you may have conceived by a rapist, is also the victim of a rapist, it's the main fact that it's still a living soul, a life that will live forever, and if you were to abort it, you would be taking away it's chance at heaven forever,
everything happens for a reason, and the reason for a child being conceived can never be for it to be aborted, no matter what, every life is from God, and every child, no matter how you conceived him, will still call you "mommy".
and as Garra_Eyes said, this is indeed a tough subject to talk about, but it really needs to be talked about, for the sake of life, which is so precious, and right now so very disrespected, we need to defend these little lives which cannot defend themselves, and just think of what a great influence it would have on others, for a mother to choose her child's life over her own suffering no matter how great, how inspiring that would be, and of course it would be hard, but not unbearable as long as we seek Gods help...it is only when we try to do it on our own that it seems impossible,
another aspect of all of this is the devil, we know how very much he hates us, and likewise tries very hard to encourage abortions, and so when we allow abortion, for whatever reason, then we are in agreement with the devil, he is right by our side encouraging us and giving us every reason to have an abortion, "you can't handle it, what will everyone think, no one will help you, it will only remind you of what happened"...but what you need to tell yourself is, with God you can handle it, it's what God thinks that really matters, because He will judge you when you die, no one else, God will make sure you get the help you need, and even if the child is a reminder of your rapist for awhile...that won't last forever, because love is much stronger than any pain, and will soon turn from reminding you of your rapist, to "God brings good out of evil".
it's hard yes, but it doesn't last, we have to die someday, and when we finally do, it will be the things we suffered through for the love of God and the love of our neighbor that get us to heaven, and not the love of ourselves for our own comfort and ease, we just have to look at the big picture, we are here for a reason, and we have a goal, and everything we do either pushes us closer or further from that goal.
it only seems impossible when you think you're on your own, but all of heaven is there to help you, so you really have nothing to fear, you are in good hands, and i would also hope, that any child, no matter how they have been conceived, will also be in good hands, but sadly all we can do is hope and pray...because to many people now have put themselves in the devils hands, and left their children to an eternity without God and without love.
ok well i guess that's all for now, so i hope this helps, take care
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:51 pm
This in my opinion is not a tough answer to make. The Catholic Church says no and agrees that any form of abortion is wrong. The points you made about the stress are true but you know what no one dies from that stress and hormonal changes. Did you die during puberty I think not. Granted the stresses might be greater but are they that much greater than a woman who is married and is having her first child? As for the horror and what not what are you really saying that the child will be a constant reminder of that man. No not at all. You are putting the blame on an innocent person. Rape is a terrible thing but the blame is not on the child but on the person who did the raping. As for the stress of adoption and the labor those are stressful(although giving birth is something that is just natural whether married or not). Adoption in the long run will make you and any other person that has an illegitmate child feel better in the end. So many woman who make the mistake of having an abortion are scarred for the rest of their lives. In fact it brings more stress on the mother than adoption, hormonal changes, as well as child birth. Also abortions are more dangerous than actual birth. They can cause inflammation of the cervix which can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease which can lead to Cervical Cancer. Abortions can also cause infertility. So abortion is more dangerous than actual child birth(they just don't tell you that). So in a nut shell abortion is not circumstancial and for all of you that say well what about etopic pregnancy and mothers who might die if the child isn't removed. Those are not considered abortions as the intent is different. In those cases the mother's life is in danger and comes first in abortions the mother's life is not in danger. The only thing in those cases are their reputation and their responsibilities and freedoms.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 7:43 am
I try to avoid complicated and drawn out explanations of Catholic teaching for these scenarios. As Garra Eyes pointed out, they can get very emotional, and in the heat of the debate we can lose a sense of the beauty of Church Teaching.
so here's my take on it. the church teaches to act with love to everyone (friend, neighbor, enemy, pet, etc.). there is no room for exception in this policy and there is no need for there to be room. love should apply to everyone, since everyone deserves to be loved. and since everyone deserves to be loved they deserve to be "not unloved". this means that we have no reason and no justification for not acting with love towards someone (and in some cases "something").
that's how I see it. it's brief but it's both Universal and Absolute, so it's very practical and very beautiful.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 7:50 am
now in relation to the abortion-rape issue, everything rests on whether or not the fetus is a person (no one disputes the humanity of the fetus, but some claim that humanity does not imply personhood) The Church teaches that all humans are persons. for this reason we must ct with love towards them regardless of the situation. they were not responsible in any way for the rape, so to think that their lives are on the line for something they didn't do demands that we have some pity for them. this pity then turns us towards love, since through pity we marvel at the innocense of the fetus, and we ought to love all things which are innocent.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:53 am
 Still working on digesting the information everybody's posted, which is a lot clearer than what I've heard from rabid-pro lifers.
I have a friend, a very good friend of mine that was raped, and became pregnant. She decided to go through with the pregnancy and have the baby. I was incredibly impressed by her fortitude, which was strengthened by her rock solid faith.
As someone who has very little faith (and flails in trying to boost the spirit of faith), I don't have that same anchor to lean on. I just see another ripple effect in the disgusting action of rape. I know she and many others included say "I don't blame the baby, it's the guy's fault"
The fact still remains that the child would not even be there if it weren't for that guy. I try to see it like I do when I struggle not to blame Muslims or Arabic-East Indian people because my rapist was from those cultures and ethnic background and faith. But I'm still jumpy around them and give them plenty of room, the same way I deal with guys.
I know it's not the baby's fault. But I don't know if I could have brought myself to give birth to a child I would have to put up for adoption. After doing a lot of research and studies about the negative effects of orphanages and not growing up with parental figures; I'd feel incredibly guilty. Not to mention I cannot support a child; I'm still in school and struggling with finances tremendously. Maybe its selfish, to be scared of the additional changes that a kid can bring when also still struggling with the fresh scars of sexual abuse. I think that's one of the biggest reasons why I was seriously contemplating abortion.
But I welcome this debate, nonetheless.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:49 am
I would like to make one comment about orphanages real quick. Well, actually, several comments, but one post.
1. It is true that being an orphan can have a negative psychological effect on people, but the way I see it, nearly everyone has something that happens to them at some point in their lives that has a negative psychological effect on them, whether that's growing up without parents, being mistreated by your parents, being mistreated by anyone you trust, suffering from one tramatic experience, etc. etc. etc. That's just life. Bad things happen, and we always carry those scars with us, no matter what the scars are from. Unless someone can show me how being an orphan is worse than any other bad thing that can happen to a child in life, I remain unconvinced that someone should just rule out adoption because the child might develop some issues because of it. That's just life. Bad things happen, we struggle with them, we're changed by them, but we move on make the most of what we have anyway.
2. Where my sister lives, there is a 6-7 year average wait time for couples who want to adopt babies. Thirty years ago, when my mom wanted to adopt a child, she had to wait two years before she got to the top of the waiting list (in which time, she had finally gotten pregnant, so she ended up not adopting anyway). To top all this off, infertility in America is increasing like crazy. This all adds up to one thing: people want babies. The children who end up getting stuck in orphanages are usually the ones who either come in as older children or have some physical or mental problems. If you have a healthy baby growing in your womb and you plan to put it up for adoption, there is an incredibly good chance that the baby will be adopted and not grow up as an orphan. (Hell, even a lot of unhealthy babies have a good chance at adoption, though admittedly, nowhere near as good as healthy babies)
3. Ok, so despite the reasons I mentioned in points 1 and 2 for adoption not necessarily being a bad thing, I also mentioned that yeah, ok, there are definitely some (or rather, a lot of) faults with our system. My problem comes in when all these people (not average jo's like you and me, but actual influential people in politics, heads of organizations, etc) complain about the adoption system in America, and how it's so bad that they would never put their own child in it, yet fail to do anything to improve the system for those children who already ARE in it. I feel that both pro-lifers and pro-choicers need to get together and fix up our system, because that is the only way to promote both allowing the child to live and giving the mother more choices. And that really is what we're going for here, right?
*end rant*
Sorry, I just have a lot of friends who have been adopted and I know a ton of people who have (or in some cases, still are) trying to adopt, so I do get frustrated with how crappy our adoption system is. Granted, it's still better than a lot of other countries . . .
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:59 pm
My philosophy teacher back in high school was adopted. The way he thought of it was that he was able to form himself as he wished, since he was not bound to any family heritage or ties. He was his own man. he was also a convert to Christianity (specifically Byzantine Catholicism) so my life is a little related to his. I really wouldn't understand the concept of Loving thy neighbor if it wasn't for his teaching.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:56 pm
garra_eyes This is always a tough subject to talk about, mainly because there is so much emotional investment in it. Those who have never experienced being pregnant from rape (or rape in general) do not understand the pain those people went through, and they never really will. It's something you can only fully understand if you've experienced it (like so many painful things in this world). But let's step back for a moment and just look at some general principles of the Catholic faith. 1. Reciprocity. Do unto others as they do unto you. This was a general principle of many cultures, including the Jews. It's the whole eye for an eye idea. However, Christ taught us to turn the other cheek, to be kind to our enemies, and not strike back when we are wronged, but to forgive. 2. Protect the innocent. Justice is a very strong principle of Christianity, and we know that it is not just to punish someone for a crime they did not commit. 3. Sin is sin, and there is no excuse for it. Of course, there are venial and mortal sins, and there are things that will drop mortal sins down to the level of venial sins, but it is still a sin. Now, let's look at the situation where a person has been raped and impregnated. 1. The first step is not to let that violent action destroy you and the good person that you are. No matter what others do to harm us, we still have the calling and the duty to be Christ-like people. That's not easy. It requires sacrifice and hard work and sometimes a lot of suffering. If a person isn't prepared to endure all of that, they need to ask themselves why they are Catholic, because you cannot be a true follower of Christ without being willing to sacrifice yourself for others. Whenever you ask yourself why you are choosing such a hard path, no matter what that hard path is, one of two things will happen. A. You'll realize that there is no reason to follow that path, and you'll choose something easier. B. You'll realize that the rewards at the end of that path far outweigh what we pay for them. Now, each person has to answer why they follow the difficult path for themselves, but for me, the reason was simply that the world becomes a better place. People are better, I am better, and that just gives all the more glory to God. 2. The fetus has not done anything wrong. I've never understood why people who are morally against abortion in all other situations feel that it would be any more moral in the situation of rape. Punish the rapist, not his child. The child has done nothing, so why is it suddenly morally acceptable to destroy it? 3. Two wrongs don't make a right. This is a principle we all learn from the time we're small children. You can't make something right by doing something wrong. You can push things under the rug and forget about them, and honestly, that may be the only way some people feel they can get through these kinds of situations. And I know I have no right to tell anyone what they can or cannot handle, but I would like to throw out just this one thought. In my experience, people are always a lot stronger than they think they are. Terrible things happen to people, but they cope, and they get through it. It's not easy, not by a long shot, and those terrible things are never completely behind them. A piece of it always lingers. But it is up to each person to decide what to do with that piece, to decide whether to let it define who they are, or to let it become a part of who they want to be. I know several rape victims, and none of them will ever be the same person they were before that incident, but some of them have been able to use that terrible experience as something positive. One of my friends talked to a room full of men and women, some who had been raped, and many who hadn't about what happened to her, giving strength and hope to those who were still coping with what had been done to them, and using that experience to motivate herself and others to actually doing something to help keep people safer from those situations. The thing is, a rape victim can never undo what has been done to them, as much as they want to. When there's a pregnancy involved, the same is true. One can never undo being pregnant. Abortion gives the illusion of undoing it, but that's all it is: an illusion. If a person knows that, then the next step is asking themselves what path they want to take next: the hard one or the easy one. In these situations, where the hard path is so incredibly hard, I would not begrudge anyone taking the easy path. However, we have to remember that God is always calling us towards that path that, as hard as it may be, glorifies him and all his works. So will that be the path that takes the life of an innocent being for the crimes of their father, or will that be the path of sacrifice that allows a child to be born and have the opportunity for a wonderful life? On an ending note, I would like to recognize the fact that, as someone who has fortunately never been raped, let alone gotten pregnant from rape, I can't even begin to understand how difficult this situation would be for those people. The above is what I think I would do now, but I have no idea what I would really do after experiencing something so traumatic. I don't mean to make anyone who has been in a situation like this feel bad about a choice they made, or even just thought about making. We all make choices that we think are right at the time and realize they're mistakes later. And just as often, we make decisions that we think are the right decisions to our dying day, no matter who tells us we're wrong. God gave you a brain and a heart, and he speaks to you always. As long as you listen to him, trying to discern with your mind, heart, and your conscience what is the right step for you, I don't think anyone has call to make you feel bad for doing something you believed was right (as long as you are, in fact, listening to your mind and your heart and God). This is, without a doubt, the most thoughtful, sensitive answer to the abortion/rape question that I've encountered to date. So...what Garra said. heart
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Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:07 pm
I'm going to break this down because there's a lot that I want to respond to. 3nodding garra_eyes 1. Reciprocity. Do unto others as they do unto you. This was a general principle of many cultures, including the Jews. It's the whole eye for an eye idea. However, Christ taught us to turn the other cheek, to be kind to our enemies, and not strike back when we are wronged, but to forgive. This I have a hard time with in the relationship of rape and abuse. Somebody didn't just steal my laptop or something I value. They didn't just say something really mean or cheated me out of an item. How am I supposed to forgive and let go a man that not only raped me, but his actions continue to punish me after what happened? I lost a scholarship, my career that I've always wanted, a huge chunk of self esteem, trust in people not to mention the intense pain he inflicted on me knowingly. And he would have forced me to incubate a child if I had gotten pregnant. All of those dramatic life changes in such a short time. I'm never going to be the same person I was before. I just can't accept this "let go thing" Jesus knew what he had to do, that he had to die. He knew that he would suffer unimaginable pain and death and he accepted it because he knew if he did these actions...it would be for saving the world. He didn't want it, but he went along with it because he knew it was divine will. P: I didn't ask to get raped, I didn't want to get raped, and I certainly would not appreciate a child being forced upon me when I know myself to be in such distress. I know I'm still too selfish and not ready to be a mom. garra_eyes 2. Protect the innocent. Justice is a very strong principle of Christianity, and we know that it is not just to punish someone for a crime they did not commit. Protect the innocent at what cost, though? Do you know how expensive it is to give birth and take care of a child? Would it be okay to have a child through the abuser? I was so terrified that I wouldn't take care of the child that I might of had because that child is a constant reminder of what happened. I wouldn't want to abuse the child, but I'd be afraid of lashing out from time to time. There are children that are in abusive families because their parents were abused, and not all get to safety and are scarred for life. Is that honestly protecting the innocent? garra_eyes 3. Sin is sin, and there is no excuse for it. Of course, there are venial and mortal sins, and there are things that will drop mortal sins down to the level of venial sins, but it is still a sin. So is it a greater sin to kill the fetus or is it a worse sin to let it be born and potentially face abuse? (I'm not saying in my case I'd abuse a child, if anything I would have a hard time loving it. And quite honestly, I'm not sure anyone would appreciate being told that the only reason why they existed was because their mother was raped and she wouldn't get an abortion) Now, let's look at the situation where a person has been raped and impregnated. garra_eyes If a person isn't prepared to endure all of that, they need to ask themselves why they are Catholic, because you cannot be a true follower of Christ without being willing to sacrifice yourself for others. Whenever you ask yourself why you are choosing such a hard path, no matter what that hard path is, one of two things will happen. I was a cradle-born Catholic and pretty much became confirmed because "everybody was doing it" in high school. I understand sacrificing yourself for others, but how far do you have to go before it becomes unreasonable? I know if I did get pregnant by this guy that raped me, there would be pressures to marry him because I was with "his child", because he's Muslim. :/ I wouldn't go that far if I'm having a hard enough time trying to deal with this theoretical child inside of me due to being raped. I've gone through a huge amount of suffering already, most people are surprised I bothered to go back to school and get my degree, that I can even function considering the amount of losses I had to take. How much more would I have to go through before it's "worth it?" I'm probably thinking in selfish terms, but I just don't see it. I've already taken and been forced on an extremely difficult path to begin with, I don't want to be forced to take another hard road when I'm struggling so much to be on the one I was forced on to begin with. garra_eyes A. You'll realize that there is no reason to follow that path, and you'll choose something easier. B. You'll realize that the rewards at the end of that path far outweigh what we pay for them. Normally I choose a hard path because I know the rewards are greater. But what about being forced upon a difficult path? I have no reason to follow a path I've been forced upon. I choose something difficult because I want to, not because some dickhead forced me there. garra_eyes 2. The fetus has not done anything wrong. I've never understood why people who are morally against abortion in all other situations feel that it would be any more moral in the situation of rape. Punish the rapist, not his child. The child has done nothing, so why is it suddenly morally acceptable to destroy it? I wouldn't have the child if it wasn't for him. I can't punish him, because of a jacked up justice system. I would think that forcing a child to be born to an extremely depressed/selfish/abused mother or to go to an orphanage would be even worse than destroying it before it has a chance to be subjected to those problems. The US justice system isn't the greatest at taking care of the real victims, nor would the current adoption program. They're overloaded as it is, I can't see why I should add to the problem. garra_eyes 3. Two wrongs don't make a right. This is a principle we all learn from the time we're small children. You can't make something right by doing something wrong. You can push things under the rug and forget about them, and honestly, that may be the only way some people feel they can get through these kinds of situations. I'm still struggling to see it as wrong. I never wanted to have it in the first place. I would rather the stem cells go to research and help people that way then to give theoretical birth. Yes, I have heard both sides of the story on stem cell research, both on adults and fetal cells and that sometimes fetal stem cells do not work out that well. In considering that, I don't see why my decision would be wrong. garra_eyes It's not easy, not by a long shot, and those terrible things are never completely behind them. A piece of it always lingers. But it is up to each person to decide what to do with that piece, to decide whether to let it define who they are, or to let it become a part of who they want to be. I'm working on not letting it define me or to shape me into something else. I know I've changed, and I'll never be the same person I once was, but I've been through the fire and I'm pulling myself out of it. To have a child added upon that...I don't think I could handle it, and what has happened to me already showed me how far I could go and still stubbornly struggle through. I wouldn't want a child forced upon me to force me to change either, physically or mentally. garra_eyes The thing is, a rape victim can never undo what has been done to them, as much as they want to. When there's a pregnancy involved, the same is true. One can never undo being pregnant. Abortion gives the illusion of undoing it, but that's all it is: an illusion. No, abortion removes the fetus, it removes the growing child. The act of being forced upon and thus pregnant can't be undone, I agree with that, but I don't see it as an illusion. I see it as removing something that should have never existed to begin with. garra_eyes If a person knows that, then the next step is asking themselves what path they want to take next: the hard one or the easy one. In these situations, where the hard path is so incredibly hard, I would not begrudge anyone taking the easy path. However, we have to remember that God is always calling us towards that path that, as hard as it may be, glorifies him and all his works. I wouldn't say that abortion is the easy path. It's certainly easier than going through and giving birth and dealing with the consequences, but deciding and going through with aborting is by no means a walk in the park. garra_eyes So will that be the path that takes the life of an innocent being for the crimes of their father, or will that be the path of sacrifice that allows a child to be born and have the opportunity for a wonderful life? I wouldn't say it's as easy as that. I mean, my situation, I'm sexually mature enough to carry a child, and could very well carry one to term without too much trouble. What about girls that have been sexually abused by their fathers/brothers/family? Some do get pregnant from that. Are they supposed to chalk it up to God and suck it up when some are possibly sexually mature enough to give birth, but not healthy enough? Is that a wonderful opportunity for life? Abused parents often continue the cycle of abuse with their children. I'm not saying I would be one of them, but there are those types of families that exist. Would that be an opportunity for a wonderful life? Just wanted to add: I'm not attacking you or disregarding you, but these are a lot of thoughts that went through my head as I was contemplating this way back when I was waiting for the pregnancy test results.
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Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:35 pm
I wanted to start off by restating what I mentioned in my previous post. I am not trying to call you or anyone else out with anything I say in this post. If anything sounds unduly harsh or disapproving, I do apologize in advance, as that was certainly not my intent. This is a difficult and emotional subject, even more so for people who have had to deal with it themselves or know someone who has, and I cannot give any rock hard advice in the situation. All I can do is express my own views and ask that anyone in this situation think deeply (as I'm sure they'll do without my encouragement) on the subject, seeking to learn more about the position of the Church (and there are many who can explain it much better than I), more about their own beliefs, and most of all seek God's guidance. If people do that, I will never tell them that what they did was wrong. I may not understand their decisions, but I will at least respect them. (also, it is rather late here and I do have a fever today, so I apologize if anything doesn't make sense. If that happens, let me know what parts are confusing and I will clarify them) Slick Southpaw This I have a hard time with in the relationship of rape and abuse. Somebody didn't just steal my laptop or something I value. They didn't just say something really mean or cheated me out of an item. How am I supposed to forgive and let go a man that not only raped me, but his actions continue to punish me after what happened? I lost a scholarship, my career that I've always wanted, a huge chunk of self esteem, trust in people not to mention the intense pain he inflicted on me knowingly. And he would have forced me to incubate a child if I had gotten pregnant. All of those dramatic life changes in such a short time. I'm never going to be the same person I was before. I just can't accept this "let go thing" I understand that rape is not a simple matter. There is so much pain and hurt that comes with all rape and much more that comes from many different individual circumstances. But think about Jesus on the cross. His pain was not simple either. He had a crown woven from a plant with inch long thorns beaten into his head. The guards ridiculed him not just for themselves, but in front of tons of people who had gathered at Pilate's home, many of whom he probably knew. He was flogged with whips that literally ripped layers of skin from him with hooks and pieces of glass and sharp rocks. He was beaten so badly that the bible says he barely even looked like himself. Then he was forced to carry a large wooden beam, the instrument of his execution to the hill where he would be killed. He was paraded through the streets in front of even more people, so that all of Jerusalem knew that he was being given the death of a criminal. When he finally got to the place he was to be crucified, he was stripped completely naked, his last shred of dignity denied him. Then he had his hands and feet nailed into the cross with nails nearly the size of railroad spikes, his flesh torn and bones crushed as the nails were driven in. Then the cross was raised, and he hung there feeling the weight of his own body crushing him and suffocating him, being forced to pull himself up on his pierced hands and feet to relieve the pressure from his chest and just be able to breathe. On top of all that, he felt the weight of all the sins of the world crushing down upon him and heard the laughter and scorn of not just the guards, but the criminals around him. And what did he say? "Father, forgive them." I can't imagine the pain of rape or ever being able to forgive someone for it, but I also cannot imagine the pain Christ went through or ever managing to forgive someone for inflicting that pain. I'm not saying that forgiveness is easy. In fact, I tried to make it clear in my post that I personally could imagine very few things more difficult than that. But as difficult as it is, as impossible as it may even seem, it is still what we are called to do. Christ set the example for us on the cross, and it's not an easy example to live up to. It's one that we may never even achieve in our lives. However, we believe that with Christ, all things are possible. And if one truly believes that, they have to at least try. And that's really the best that anyone can hope for. Slick Southpaw Jesus knew what he had to do, that he had to die. He knew that he would suffer unimaginable pain and death and he accepted it because he knew if he did these actions...it would be for saving the world. He didn't want it, but he went along with it because he knew it was divine will. Christ died to save the world, but we also believe that he died to save each and every individual, that he would sacrifice everything for even one person. If we strive to be completely Christ-like, we too must be willing to sacrifice everything for even just one individual. I see a very similar challenge with those looking at pregnancy from rape. Those people are called to sacrifice much of themselves for the life of another person. Slick Southpaw I didn't ask to get raped, I didn't want to get raped, and I certainly would not appreciate a child being forced upon me when I know myself to be in such distress. I know I'm still too selfish and not ready to be a mom. Think about Mary. She too did not ask to be a mother. Though she didn't have the traumatic experience of being raped, she still could have lost so much because she said yes to carrying a child. Her future husband almost divorced her, which would have left her single and with a child. Not only would she have had no means of support, but she would have been shunned by all good Jews for becoming pregnant out of wedlock, and possibly have been stoned to death for her infidelity. Mary chose to risk all these things because she knew it was the right thing to do. If we believe that the fetus is a child with a soul and it is wrong to destroy it, then we already have our answer. The right thing to do is to keep the baby. Whether we suffer or not for that decision, it will not change that it is the right thing to do. Mary was the ideal disciple, the first follower of Christ and our primary example of what our role should be. One of the things that always impresses me about Mary was how much trust she put in God when she said yes to being the mother of Christ. Mary was a young woman, maybe 13 or 14, her whole life ahead of her. She was engaged to be married to a good man and life was looking great for her. Then God came to her with a plan that was definitely NOT of her choosing. It completely changed her life and brought her a lot of suffering she would otherwise never have had to experience. However, through her yes to God, she helped bring everlasting life to the world. Though we cannot hope to make quite as big of impact as that, we can strive to bring God to people through all sorts of little actions in our lives. Imagine what keeping a child conceived through rape could bring to the world. It brings an example to all those who have been raped that it is your life and you can take back control over whatever situation you have been placed in by the rapist. A rapist forces themselves on a woman and then, if she gets pregnant, what next? Is he forcing her to have his child? Or is he forcing her to go through a painful abortion? Both options leave the rapist in control, but if a woman can say, this is not his baby, but mine, and I am not being forced to do anything. I am making a choice of my own, and I am choosing to raise a beautiful child and turn something horrible that was done to me into something wonderful I can do for someone else. Imagine what that brings to the child! A chance at life! A chance to know and love God and all that he has created. Slick Southpaw Protect the innocent at what cost, though? Do you know how expensive it is to give birth and take care of a child? It is very expensive to carry a child to term and then raise them. Or at least, it can be. However, there are a lot of services available if one only knows where to look. My sister worked at a Pregnancy Crisis Center, and they gave away free pre-natal exams, free car seats, free clothing, free counseling, and a lot of other services to help out expectant mothers who otherwise would not be able to afford to have a child. Slick Southpaw Would it be okay to have a child through the abuser? I was so terrified that I wouldn't take care of the child that I might of had because that child is a constant reminder of what happened. I wouldn't want to abuse the child, but I'd be afraid of lashing out from time to time. There are children that are in abusive families because their parents were abused, and not all get to safety and are scarred for life. Is that honestly protecting the innocent? That isn't protecting the innocent, but you're trying to defend a negative action by suggesting that another negative action might happen in the future. It's essentially saying, well they'll get hurt eventually anyway, so it's ok to hurt them now. We cannot justify sinning now because we think that not doing that would cause us to sin in the future. Furthermore, there are ways to try to protect those children. I know we've mentioned it before, but there is the option of adoption. Slick Southpaw So is it a greater sin to kill the fetus or is it a worse sin to let it be born and potentially face abuse? I think it's a worse sin to kill the fetus. Again, you are trying to weigh a sin you know will happen with one that is only a possibility. Furthermore, there are things that can be done to significantly lesson that possibility. Slick Southpaw (I'm not saying in my case I'd abuse a child, if anything I would have a hard time loving it. And quite honestly, I'm not sure anyone would appreciate being told that the only reason why they existed was because their mother was raped and she wouldn't get an abortion) See, I see this as a matter of perspective. It is very difficult to conceive and bring a child to term. Doubly so if the mother is in a great amount of stress. If the rape just happened to occur during the 36 hours in the month that the woman was ovulating, the embryo implants and grows without complications, the stress the mother's body is going through doesn't manage to abort the fetus, and the mother chooses to carry the child to term, I think there's a lot more going into that child's existence than simply one man's actions. A child of rape does not exist just because a man decided to rape a woman. They exist for all sorts of reasons, one of the most important being the mother's love for the child. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world where every child is created by two loving parents who care for each other and their child. That doesn't give us the right to kill every child who is not lucky enough to be born into that life. We can't control the actions of other people. We can control our own actions. Slick Southpaw I was a cradle-born Catholic and pretty much became confirmed because "everybody was doing it" in high school. I understand sacrificing yourself for others, but how far do you have to go before it becomes unreasonable? I know if I did get pregnant by this guy that raped me, there would be pressures to marry him because I was with "his child", because he's Muslim. :/ I wouldn't go that far if I'm having a hard enough time trying to deal with this theoretical child inside of me due to being raped. I've gone through a huge amount of suffering already, most people are surprised I bothered to go back to school and get my degree, that I can even function considering the amount of losses I had to take. How much more would I have to go through before it's "worth it?" I'm probably thinking in selfish terms, but I just don't see it. I've already taken and been forced on an extremely difficult path to begin with, I don't want to be forced to take another hard road when I'm struggling so much to be on the one I was forced on to begin with. I'm sorry, but I really have no answer for you. Every situation is different, and every person in that situation has to make their own decisions, decisions they feel are right and decisions they can live with. I can't tell you what those decisions would be for you and neither can anyone else. However, I do think there is a difference between carrying a child to term because you believe abortion is wrong and letting yourself be drawn into abusive situations because of it. However, I do want to clarify the difference between doing what you believe is right and doing what others want you to do. What is right, to me at least, always boils down to one thing: What action can I take that will in service of love? Marrying an abusive man who raped you? Not in the service of love. Allowing a child to have a chance at life? well where do you think that would fall? Slick Southpaw Normally I choose a hard path because I know the rewards are greater. But what about being forced upon a difficult path? I have no reason to follow a path I've been forced upon. I choose something difficult because I want to, not because some dickhead forced me there. As I said before, the rapist, in these cases, forces a woman to be pregnant. That's it. As much as we all hate being forced onto difficult paths, it's something that happens quite frequently in life. For example, I didn't want to be forced to deal with dizzy spells every day for the rest of my life. I have a friend with a collagen disorder who will be forced to spend the rest of her life on pain medication and systematically replace most of the joints in her body as she grows older. Neither of us chose to be in these conditions. We both would have loved for life to be easier for us, but we were forced down the hard path. There's nothing we can do about that. But there is something we can do. We can choose where to go from here. A rapist does not force a woman to have a baby, at least not in this day and age. He may force the woman to be pregnant in some cases, but that's it. It is now up to the woman to decide where to go from there. They've already had something difficult forced upon them. Now it's time to decide what path they want to CHOOSE to take. At this point, your actions are your own. They are not merely a consequence of someone else's actions. Slick Southpaw I wouldn't have the child if it wasn't for him. I can't punish him, because of a jacked up justice system. I would think that forcing a child to be born to an extremely depressed/selfish/abused mother or to go to an orphanage would be even worse than destroying it before it has a chance to be subjected to those problems. The US justice system isn't the greatest at taking care of the real victims, nor would the current adoption program. They're overloaded as it is, I can't see why I should add to the problem. I have to disagree with your summation of the US adoption program. It has problems, undoubtably, but I would direct you to my other post for my specific arguments why that is not a valid reason for destroying a human being. Slick Southpaw I'm still struggling to see it as wrong. I never wanted to have it in the first place. I would rather the stem cells go to research and help people that way then to give theoretical birth. Yes, I have heard both sides of the story on stem cell research, both on adults and fetal cells and that sometimes fetal stem cells do not work out that well. In considering that, I don't see why my decision would be wrong. Then I would suggest you look more into teachings on abortion from the Church. You may not agree with them, and that's totally up to you, but I would still encourage it simply for the reason that, by your arguments here, it would seem that you do not find abortion to be a sin at all. If that's the case, then the answer to whether abortion is wrong in cases of rape would be very simple. No. It isn't. However, if you do see abortion as a sin, I just can't see any way of making it not a sin because of the circumstances of conception. We view it as sinful because we view the fetus as an actual person with a soul and life of its own. To kill it is therefore akin to murder, which we all know is a sin. Now, I don't really want to get into the discussion of whether abortion is ok or not in general in this thread (as that's not what we really came here to talk about), but I do think it's important to establish what your base-line belief about the morality of abortion is. Is the fetus a person or not? If it is, then abortion is murder. If it isn't, then abortion is simply the removal of cells from the body, which is not immoral. The reason the Church disapproves of stem-cell research using fetuses is the same reason it would disapprove of killing a man, harvesting his organs, and giving them to 6 people who are all about to die from organ failure. If we allow the ends to justify the means, then all sin becomes acceptable. Slick Southpaw No, abortion removes the fetus, it removes the growing child. The act of being forced upon and thus pregnant can't be undone, I agree with that, but I don't see it as an illusion. I see it as removing something that should have never existed to begin with. The fact that the child exists makes the idea of whether it should or should not have existed irrelevant. It exists. Now we deal with that. The way you described abortion here is like it is righting a wrong. A child should not have existed, so we get rid of the child, and now everything is how it should have been. That sounds very much like an illusion to me. I don't mean to be mean here, and I'm not trying to call you out on anything. I'm just explaining how I see things, and what I'm seeing in that statement is a failure to deal with what exists and only to deal with what you wish exists. An illusion is something that hides reality from us. The reality that abortion hides in this instance is that the child already exists. The fetus is alive and has a soul, at least that is the Church's position. Slick Southpaw I wouldn't say that abortion is the easy path. It's certainly easier than going through and giving birth and dealing with the consequences, but deciding and going through with aborting is by no means a walk in the park. I would wholeheartedly agree with that. There is no easy path for people who have been raped, and doubly so for those who got pregnant from rape. However, my point is that we cannot choose something just because it is easier and expect that to necessarily be the moral choice. If we want our actions to be moral, we have to look at the morality only, not which path is easier for us. Slick Southpaw I wouldn't say it's as easy as that. I mean, my situation, I'm sexually mature enough to carry a child, and could very well carry one to term without too much trouble. What about girls that have been sexually abused by their fathers/brothers/family? Some do get pregnant from that. Are they supposed to chalk it up to God and suck it up when some are possibly sexually mature enough to give birth, but not healthy enough? Is that a wonderful opportunity for life? I believe I mentioned this before, but the Church does make allowances for the health of the mother, which this would fall under. However, you are right. It's not simple. It's not even remotely simple, which is why it's such a difficult subject to discuss.
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 7:27 am
Tangent: Slick, you mentioned that you found it difficult to pray and go to church. I don't know how to help you with the church thing; but I find that in cases where it is difficult for someone to pray meaningfully, the best thing that they can do is find a spiritual place that encourages prayer. I understand that you find it difficult to go to church, but there are other places tha churches that provide this spiritual "aura". for example, usually I go to the nearby cemetary when I need to pray, since the local church is presbyterian, and feels a little stuffy. Besides the obvious reasons for it being a spiritual place, cemetarys are quite, out of the way places where no one will bother you. And if you can't think of anything to pray, you can always meditate there.
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 2:25 pm
Dr 42 Tangent: Slick, you mentioned that you found it difficult to pray and go to church. I don't know how to help you with the church thing; but I find that in cases where it is difficult for someone to pray meaningfully, the best thing that they can do is find a spiritual place that encourages prayer. I understand that you find it difficult to go to church, but there are other places tha churches that provide this spiritual "aura". for example, usually I go to the nearby cemetary when I need to pray, since the local church is presbyterian, and feels a little stuffy. Besides the obvious reasons for it being a spiritual place, cemetarys are quite, out of the way places where no one will bother you. And if you can't think of anything to pray, you can always meditate there. I did find a place where I can meditate and sort of sit quietly to ease my thoughts. There's this bluff that my school is on and there's this neato place that overlooks the river and part of Portland. So I just sit there and just let my thoughts just....leak out. I'll play certain types of music as well to help. I tried going to a spot that had the Blessed Virgin and some benches; it's a beautiful spot, but even sitting there gives me the heebiejeebies. I went to visit a Greek Orthodox Church during a Greek festival and I didn't quite have a panic attack, but I could definitely feel my anxiety rising, even as I forced myself to focus on the beauty of the icons there. >_> It's definitely a trapped feeling and I feel like I'm forced into a corner. It's that strong of a feeling, and i was probably in the church about 10 mins tops.
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:28 pm
Note: If it sounds like I'm attacking you personally, I'm not. It just sounds like that because I have a deep divide between myself and Catholicism, so apologies if some of my replies sound extra-bitter. garra_eyes I can't imagine the pain of rape or ever being able to forgive someone for it, but I also cannot imagine the pain Christ went through or ever managing to forgive someone for inflicting that pain. But Jesus went through it willingly. He knew ahead of time that it was going to be absolutely terrible; I mean, he sweated drops of blood in the garden of Gethsemane. He asked for that cup to be taken away from him, if it could. But it wasn't. Jesus knew exactly what he was getting into; he knew he was going to suffer tremendously. Which is why I have an issue with this. You don't know that you're gonna get raped and who is going to do it to you, especially if it happens from the ones who say that they love you. garra_eyes I'm not saying that forgiveness is easy. In fact, I tried to make it clear in my post that I personally could imagine very few things more difficult than that. But as difficult as it is, as impossible as it may even seem, it is still what we are called to do. I am of firm belief that I do not have to forgive my rapist; what's more important is that I do not spend my energy hating him. It still sounds like a cop out to me. I'm not trying to attack you, it's just something I realized on my own. garra_eyes I see a very similar challenge with those looking at pregnancy from rape. Those people are called to sacrifice much of themselves for the life of another person. Because of someone else, they're forced to sacrifice much of themselves for the life of another person if we take abortion out of the equation. That doesn't sound like a blessing or a wonderful sacrifice. garra_eyes Think about Mary. She too did not ask to be a mother. Though she didn't have the traumatic experience of being raped, she still could have lost so much because she said yes to carrying a child. Her future husband almost divorced her, which would have left her single and with a child. Not only would she have had no means of support, but she would have been shunned by all good Jews for becoming pregnant out of wedlock, and possibly have been stoned to death for her infidelity. So if I had gotten pregnant from being raped, then I would just have to chalk it up to God's will and cross my fingers, hoping for the best? Or hope that being raped was part of God's grand scheme of things for me? garra_eyes Whether we suffer or not for that decision, it will not change that it is the right thing to do. A decision that was forced upon us and made us suffer terribly sounds hardly appealing to the become Christlike notion. It's not suffering because we made the decisions to take the hard path, it's suffering inflicted by someone else. garra_eyes Imagine what keeping a child conceived through rape could bring to the world. It brings an example to all those who have been raped that it is your life and you can take back control over whatever situation you have been placed in by the rapist. Not really. There's always going to be that constant reminder. Your body will never be the same, that child existing is a product of yours and the rapists genes. I don't see that such self-sacrifice is something that proves to everyone what a shining example you can be, especially if you're not prepared (and since nobody is prepared for rape, you're technically never ready). My friend for example, who is pregnant from rape; still suffers terribly mentally. She's keeping the child, which is great for her. I wouldn't have kept it. I don't think this is a "one size fits all" sort of deal we have going on here in terms of setting the example and being a model for "taking back control of your life" garra_eyes A rapist forces themselves on a woman and then, if she gets pregnant, what next? Is he forcing her to have his child? Or is he forcing her to go through a painful abortion? Both options leave the rapist in control, but if a woman can say, this is not his baby, but mine, and I am not being forced to do anything. I am making a choice of my own, and I am choosing to raise a beautiful child and turn something horrible that was done to me into something wonderful I can do for someone else. Again, the baby would not exist without the rapist. So it's always going to be partially his child. A rapist and his victim would be the child's parents, even if the rapist disappeared from the woman's life. It seems more that instead of "I'm having the baby because of the rapist or having an abortion because of the rapist" you're saying "I should have the baby because the Church has said its a sin against God" That's not making a choice. That's guilt-tripping women into making a choice to have the baby. If I want to have the baby, it's because I want to and not because an institution told me it was the right thing to do. If I want to have an abortion, it's because I feel that this is the best route possible. Saying that I would have more control over my life that I would be Christ like and a great model for sacrificing my body, my energy, my life to have a theoretical child from rape born instead of aborted sounds manipulative. garra_eyes That isn't protecting the innocent, but you're trying to defend a negative action by suggesting that another negative action might happen in the future. It's certainly a valid possibility. There's enough studies out there to suggest the disturbing trends of familial influence on abuse. garra_eyes It's essentially saying, well they'll get hurt eventually anyway, so it's ok to hurt them now. We cannot justify sinning now because we think that not doing that would cause us to sin in the future. I would rather avoid the tragedy and guilt of potential abuse in the first place. I know how horribly painful and scarring it can be. This is not something like "oh i don't want them to feel the pain of getting hurt cos they tripped and fell". garra_eyes I think it's a worse sin to kill the fetus. Again, you are trying to weigh a sin you know will happen with one that is only a possibility. Furthermore, there are things that can be done to significantly lesson that possibility. And I think it it's fine if the from the aborted fetal cells go towards research to help those more diseased and dying. I know there's a chance, and quite frankly with all the stress, mental strain and pain, I would rather not risk it at all. That's how terrified I am. I do not have a good support system at home, friends are few and far between, and Catholicism has been less than a place of refuge for me. garra_eyes A child of rape does not exist just because a man decided to rape a woman. They exist for all sorts of reasons, one of the most important being the mother's love for the child. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world where every child is created by two loving parents who care for each other and their child. That doesn't give us the right to kill every child who is not lucky enough to be born into that life. No, it's a matter of personal choice. If I want to keep the child, it's because I want to keep it and love it. If I don't, then I cannot make myself carry to term something I do not love or care about. I never wanted in the first place, so why should I be forced to carry a burden that should not have existed in the fist place. No, we do not live in a perfect world, and I do not want to be another mother that cannot handle having a kid or just ditching the child because it's too much for me to bear. It's very strong possibility; and something I am not wanting to risk my years and energy and body for. garra_eyes We can't control the actions of other people. We can control our own actions. Precisely. garra_eyes However, I do think there is a difference between carrying a child to term because you believe abortion is wrong and letting yourself be drawn into abusive situations because of it. Now is believing abortion wrong because the Church said so or because you honestly feel so is more of the question. Honestly, the only reason I believed abortion was wrong was because I was taught that way, which quite frankly, is not a very good system to abide by, especially when your belief system is completely and utterly shattered. :/ garra_eyes However, I do want to clarify the difference between doing what you believe is right and doing what others want you to do. Allowing a child to have a chance at life? well where do you think that would fall? Again lies my issue. Doing what I feel is right has always conflicted with what others wanted me to do and believe in. I feel that it's more of an act of love to prevent the potential abuse than to let the potential abuse happen. garra_eyes it would seem that you do not find abortion to be a sin at all. If that's the case, then the answer to whether abortion is wrong in cases of rape would be very simple. No. It isn't. Which is precisely my case now. I don't have a strong alignment with Church teachings any more. Even studying from Catholic academia has done nothing to further interest in accepting the faith. garra_eyes The fact that the child exists makes the idea of whether it should or should not have existed irrelevant. It exists. Now we deal with that. The way you described abortion here is like it is righting a wrong. A child should not have existed, so we get rid of the child, and now everything is how it should have been. That sounds very much like an illusion to me. I don't mean to be mean here, and I'm not trying to call you out on anything. I'm just explaining how I see things, and what I'm seeing in that statement is a failure to deal with what exists and only to deal with what you wish exists. P: Hrm, I don't see that as an illusion. I know if the child was gotten rid of, it just deals with the problem of forced pregnancy. There's still plenty of mental afteraffects to deal with and physical affects to consider. I'm not stating that abortion=solving distress to rape. I'm saying that abortion=lessening distress of rape. To have an abortion and then state rape never happened at all would be silly and delusional. garra_eyes However, my point is that we cannot choose something just because it is easier and expect that to necessarily be the moral choice. If we want our actions to be moral, we have to look at the morality only, not which path is easier for us. Which goes back to the mental status of the mother. If she is mentally traumatized and can hardly take care of herself, should she really be trying to keep that child to term? When I was raped, I started going back on my eating disorder binges. I starved myself, I went bulimic, I overate, I over exercised, I cut, and resorted to alcohol to deal with the situation before therapy started working. Would it have been moral to subject a developing child to those destructive decisions? I probably would have drunken/starved myself enough to promote my body to have a miscarriage. Is that considered more ethical than struggling to go through pregnancy or stop pregnancy and have an abortion?
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