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 Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:56 am
Day 57
It's been at least a couple months now... I don't know why I still have this blasted thing. That traitor gave it to me, why haven't I burned it yet? I should have tossed it into the flames that night, but I couldn't, I felt compelled to keep it. It still doesn't make sense though, none of it does. I had known Master Lodiab...no, not my Master anymore, only Lodiab. I had known that man virtually all my life, what could have spurned him to do such a thing? I feel like there is more to this that meets the eye, as I know he was a kind man. He would not have taught me as he did, he would not have gifted me with such a marvelous weapon, the one that would cause his own end, if he wasn't. He was a much greater Seer than I was, surely he should have seen something like this happening. It has been a while since I've tried to peer into the realm of time, I feel as though I've forsaken the very thing he taught me. I wonder what's to become of me, I wonder where I'll go, what I'll do now that the order is gone, now that I am all that remains...
-Apollo Atlus
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:21 am
Day 81
I returned to the ruins today. My heart burned with such an intense sadness, almost as much as I wanted to drop to my knees and scream out in anguish... That man had taken everything from me, he had raised me, crafted who I am today out of clay, and then sought to raise a sword against it all? Against what he too had worked to create and help prosper? I don't consider myself stupid, but I can tell from any standpoint that I am not wise, certainly not old enough to grasp the gravity of the situation, to understand what exactly had happened. It saddens me deeply to see that even now, months after that night, the rubble still smolders, as though a remaining testament to what had happened, a monument to such colossal, treasonous intent.
I find it strange, despite all of this, my body is still recovering from what had happened that fateful night. That image is still emblazoned in my mind. As I had drawn Gospel from it's resting place, I saw that I wasn't alone. A spirit of some sort had found it's place next to me as I drew my blade with my emotions running wild. The spirit appeared to be out for blood, almost as much as I was. He, at least I think it was a male, looked at me, the intense rage shifting to an expression full of a deep, unspoken sorrow and regret. He nodded at me, almost as though signaling what I knew but didn't want to accept, telling me what it was I had to do. I looked at Gospel and the runes had began to glow some deep hue, I can't even describe it properly. The blade itself emanated some faint white aura, and for the first time, I truly understood what Lodiab meant when he said he had imbued that blade with a power that I would one day understand, that I would one day harness. He talked about me as though I would tame the very heavens with this blade, as though there could be no evil when I tapped into Gospel's true power. I remember looking back from Gospel to Lodiab with such an intense feeling growing in me, I can scarce explain it, but what I do know is that it filled me with as much fear as it did strength. It was as though I could see myself in a mirror, and that look...that feeling I could sense, I would make peace with whatever God I believed in if I saw someone with that feeling coming towards me.
Alas though, I blacked out after that, but I apparently killed Lodiab, as I woke up with his pendant, Griever. Griever was a beautiful necklace he had on him at all times. It's design was something of a silver cross with something snaking around what would be the head of the cross, intricate designs as well as tiny runes etched all about it. Lodiab chuckled when I asked him about it, and childishly asked if I could wear it for a bit. He lifted the chain and placed it around my neck, and I remember finding my body being pulled to the ground with such intense force. I tried to take it off, but he made me keep it on as he explained it. "You see Apollo, it's so heavy because it's so full of mercy. It's not something you can get used to, but Griever weighs significantly less when you are of strong mind and body, when you are at true peace with yourself. I've heard some monks refer to such a state as Nirvana, but call it what you may." He took Griever off after that and looked down at me with such a pleasant, fatherly smile, as though he took pleasure in teaching me, raising me. He told me that I was a very strong boy, that most people would find themselves on the ground, unable to lift themselves whenever he let them try Griever on.
-Apollo Atlus
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:38 am
Day 109
I finally tried to peer once more into Time's realm. At first, I could see fine, clearly, everything as it would've been usually. After trying to find myself peer deeper though, deeper than I had been that I can remember, I found myself bestowed with some new power in this mystical art, as though with Lodiab's passing I became more powerful. How strange that it was I remember thinking when I started to reflect on what had just occurred. As I traveled deeper into that realm, I found myself stuck there, being forced to watch as the nothingness around me unfolded. What exactly happened, whether it was my inability to see that deep and comprehend what had happened or the end of the world as I know it, perhaps even my death, I do not know. I also found it strange just how little that bothered me.
I also got my first big-time job in a while today. Mostly I've just been working at inns here and there in exchange for my stay and a meal, but this time I stumbled across some royalty. A lovely young princess, I couldn't help but chuckle at my luck. Normally, guys would have killed to be in a position such as mine, but I honestly don't care. So long as I have the opportunity to help someone in need, all is well with me. Then again, sex has never been something to particularly grasp at me with such an iron fist, as it had most other people my age. I don't get it, but then again, there is much I do not understand. I'm still a young man after all, there is still time to discover that which is waiting, learn that which is unknown, and to live that which enthralls me. This princess though, I admit myself attracted to her. I would never try and pull anything though, partly out of respect, partly out of duty. I suppose that if anything is ever going to happen between a lady and I, it will be her of her own design. I wonder how this contract with royalty will go down, it is my understanding that I will be staying in the palace. Funny, the times I had ever been dispatched to assist royalty, the team I was sent with always opted to stay in a much more concealed and secluded position, only asking for food and wine on which we could dine. Here I am, only a couple years later, taking on a job that took at least four fully trained members of the Scarlet Zodiark. Ah, this life I live now, how amazing it can be at times. I likely would be nothing more than an ordinary man had Lodiab not seen me. Really, truly, I owe everything I am now, everything I've experienced and everything I will experience to them. Thank you, my family.
-Apollo Atlus
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