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Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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ElenaMason

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:07 pm


Okay, so this goes to all the hardcore veteran RE fans here. I said I'd give you guys a detailed review and now is that time. I recently got back from seeing the movie and I must say, it gave me the best laughs, but the biggest plus for me? The made Wesker ******** EPIC....too bad it didn't end epicly. Oh you guys are going to LOVE the ending.

WARNING!! This review is FULL of spoilers. So if you don't want to know what happens (for the most part) then don't read this.


Now, its bashing time. If you guys have seen the trailers, you know how they show Alice talking to her camera to record logs just in case she died or something and someone found her camera? Well they seemed to REALLY love showing her on that cam talking to it. I mean okay, we get it, she's keeping camera logs, but they kept showing it for the first 10% of the movie. So that was rather annoying. And apparently Alice has gained the power to decimate an area just by telekinesis alone. She does this funky thing with her eyes and suddenly the area around her and mainly in front of her gets pummeled. Yeah, you thought Wesker's matrix powers were retarded? This was just RIDICULOUS. But you're in luck! After a skirmish with Wesker, he does a bad a** backwards swing with his hand while she's holding a gun to his head, and he injects her with some serum that completely knocks out her T-Virus cells, or dumbs them down to the point where her powers are irrelevant. And the whole plan they had going with her clones? Yeah that quickly goes down the drain too. So we don't have to worry about watching a movie about retard clones with ridiculous powers.

So that's basically the beginning without completely spoiling it for those here who actually want to still go see it. So next part of the movie, minus the annoying camera logs, Alice runs into Claire and nabs the virus chest device off of her and Claire slowly begins to regain her memory. They use her plane to go to LA and find the city in ruin and fire and completely overrun with a gigantic horde of zombies. They crash land on top of a building where there are a few remaining survivors. After letting her and Claire land the plane, they go into introductions, have some chats, and eventually find out that Chris Redfield is there. But Chris is locked up for some really retarded reason, but they set him free because he knows a way out of the building because there is a gigantic ship nearby that they are trying to get to. Its "Arcadia" that was the location they were trying to seek in the 3rd RE movie.

Of course by this time in the movie, you'll notice by now that it has an ABUNDANCE of slow motion scenes.....I kid you not 60-70% of the movie has slow motion scenes mainly because its all meant for the 3D version, but its so retarded with the slow mo it'll keep you laughing. Did I forget to mention that apparently the zombies can not only dig holes into the ground so they can find a way to the inside of the building.....oh no...it doesnt stop there...apparently they can now SWIM under the damn water for more than a minute. I guess that sort of makes sense, sense dead people don't need to breathe BUT COME ON. Swimming? In the damn water and digging holes that somehow lead you to openings in the building? Bull.......s**t. I was laughing my a** off. I swear to god. But it only added to the hilarity. what was kind of cool was when the Executioner came around but they made him a bit more retarded than he actually is. But are we really surprised? This is an RE movie after all. But yeah the b*****d was a b***h for them to take down, but it was pretty cool.....minus the retard slow mo action.

Okay so they eventually make it to the damn boat which reminded me very much of the large ship you have to get on in the RE 5 game near the end. And on the boat is where they find Wesker who apparently seems to be sitting........on a toilet? Sorry but to me the seat he's on looks like a large toilet xD I'm just making fun of it though but yeah they run into him and have a fight that basically reinacts a cutscene from RE 5 when Chris and Sheva go up against Wesker the second time just before the fight on the plane. The fight they had was pretty damn awesome though.....again...minus the slow mo crap although being a Wesker fangirl, seeing Wesker dodge epicly in slow mo is hot to me. Uroubourousrousrousrous (sp?) however was not in the movie. I mean the only virus that Wesker mentions is the T-Virus that's in his body and constantly fights him for control over his body? That's the only thing he states, but during the end of their fight a majini looking mouth thingy comes out of his mouth like what the majini do and despite his awesome fighting skills, he just kind of stands there while showing off his new kisser, and gets blown by shot gun blasts, but that doesn't kill him.

This happens twice......in A FREAKING ROW THOUGH! He yet again stands there, lets himself get shot, and he goes down. And when Alice and Chris think he's dead, they leave, but of course he doesn't die. He's Wesker. He escapes in yet another plane and sets off the detonation bomb to the place to destroy it along with the others, but Alice planted the bomb inside his ship. And you know what? They don't even show her go inside the ship and Wesker isn't that damn careless. But he could have easily jumped out the plane before it explodes. And yeah I'm not going to even going into the bitter ending which was kind of retarded but guess what? There's going to be ANOTHER MOVIE. Oh and btw Jillshowsupintheendwiththedeviceonherchestasshe'scommandingagroupofUmbrellasoldierstogoattackAliceIguessandthemovieends.

Okay so, ignoring the fact that these movies kind of....well....SUCK and they have nothing to do with the game and Alice can suck my non existent d**k.....ignoring those inconsistencies, I say this movie is the best out of all of them and I thought it was prettty amusing and damn good.

On a letter rating from A-F I give this movie a B-.

ONLY BECAUSE......Wesker was epic. XD It soothed my inner wesker fangirl. That was the ONLY reason I saw the movie to begin with so they at least kept that end of the deal for me going.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:18 pm


Well, I skimmed through it, and it really does sound like I shouldn't see it. Oh well, it was good while it lasted, but I guess they just couldn't keep the crappy RE games out of the movies forever.

You didn't mention her fight with the big retard though. The dude with the axe.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:04 pm


The movie looks fun. Still wish they kept the RE4/5 influences out of it myself, but that doesn't change the fact that the movie looks fun.

...

A good reason to spend 5 dollars.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:11 pm


Well, you know how anti RE4/5 I am. So to hell with it.

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ElenaMason

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:11 pm


Biohazard EXTREME
Well, I skimmed through it, and it really does sound like I shouldn't see it. Oh well, it was good while it lasted, but I guess they just couldn't keep the crappy RE games out of the movies forever.

You didn't mention her fight with the big retard though. The dude with the axe.
'

as you said...you "skimmed" through beacuse i DID mentioned the fight with the executioner. wasn't much to say but i did in deed say it wink go back and read xD NOW! WESKER DEMANDS IT! no jk.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:14 pm


ElenaMason
'

as you said...you "skimmed" through beacuse i DID mentioned the fight with the executioner. wasn't much to say but i did in deed say it wink go back and read xD NOW! WESKER DEMANDS IT! no jk.
Ah yes, I see it now.
Wait, they made him MORE retarded than he is? Is that even possible?

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ElenaMason

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:23 pm


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ElenaMason
'

as you said...you "skimmed" through beacuse i DID mentioned the fight with the executioner. wasn't much to say but i did in deed say it wink go back and read xD NOW! WESKER DEMANDS IT! no jk.
Ah yes, I see it now.
Wait, they made him MORE retarded than he is? Is that even possible?


its the RE movies. anything retarded is possible. Like okay you know in the game how he can take his hammer and swing it around like there's no tomorrow and cause hella damage and rip down gates within seconds? well in the movie he's behind some large strong metal gate and instead of bashing the hell out of it, all they had him do was stand there and hit against it back and forth going "ding..........ding........" like he wasn't even putting effort into it. b***h......the executioner could have taken it down SO quick. it was so stupid xD and he was standing there doing that for like....5 minutes?
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:36 pm


Well, no, I had no idea he could do that in the game. How would I? In any case, it doesn't sound that much more retarded. It just seems... Different.
Either way, if they decided to take him from RE5 and put him into the movie, that's lame in itself.

Let me ask you something though. I mean, RE5 happens in Africa, it's obviously a more primitive location, so the look of the Executioner might be consistent with everything else. Now, in the movie, is the fact that he's there justified? Like, to have a monster like that with its face covered, wielding, what looks like a large Axe from... Umm... Medievalish era?
Did it even make sense for him to be in the movie at all?

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Captain



Thee Stranger


PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 2:06 am


I actually kinda wanna see this one, lol. I'm still gonna wait for it to pop on HBO or something, like I did the rest. But I really wanna see this trainwreck. I actually think it's, like, the perfect catharsis. Or culmination. Of the downfall of the Resident Evil franchise. All the retardedness of the shitty movies, combined with all the retardedness of RE4/RE5. All wrapped up in one nice big s**t sandwich. It's gonna be epic. And it's all gonna fit together perfectly as the stinky pile of s**t that it is.

And yes, I am still a firm believer that those shitty movies were a big source of inspiration for the direction the game series took. Focusing on action, kung-fu, matrix slow-mo bullshit, laser-dodging, and general stupidness.
PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:08 am


Technically though, doesn't 'trainwreck' refer to something that flops? I got a feeling this movie's gonna make them more money than all the other ones. As much as I hate the thought.

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ElenaMason

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:08 am


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Well, no, I had no idea he could do that in the game. How would I? In any case, it doesn't sound that much more retarded. It just seems... Different.
Either way, if they decided to take him from RE5 and put him into the movie, that's lame in itself.

Let me ask you something though. I mean, RE5 happens in Africa, it's obviously a more primitive location, so the look of the Executioner might be consistent with everything else. Now, in the movie, is the fact that he's there justified? Like, to have a monster like that with its face covered, wielding, what looks like a large Axe from... Umm... Medievalish era?
Did it even make sense for him to be in the movie at all?


Biohazard EXTREME
Well, no, I had no idea he could do that in the game. How would I? In any case, it doesn't sound that much more retarded. It just seems... Different.
Either way, if they decided to take him from RE5 and put him into the movie, that's lame in itself.

Let me ask you something though. I mean, RE5 happens in Africa, it's obviously a more primitive location, so the look of the Executioner might be consistent with everything else. Now, in the movie, is the fact that he's there justified? Like, to have a monster like that with its face covered, wielding, what looks like a large Axe from... Umm... Medievalish era?
Did it even make sense for him to be in the movie at all?


no. he hella sticks out from the other zombies. well aside from the majini's running around. if it were any other producer doing this movie id say id try to justify that they had a specific reason for using the executioner, but to have monsters that took place in africa suddenly take place in LA? and this this movie series has destoryed really anything in regards to the game, it really has no credit. so again i answer no. there were no other zombies that looked even remotely like him or equivalent in size. he stuck out like a sore thumb. and just like all the OTHER RE 5 elements, they stolen from the game and just thrown into the movie. they even had wesker quoting some of his quotes in RE 5 and it seemed more out of place than it did in context.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:22 am


Oh wow.. I didn't realize that there were other majini running around. Damn, now I KNOW I shouldn't see this movie.

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ElenaMason

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:00 pm


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Oh wow.. I didn't realize that there were other majini running around. Damn, now I KNOW I shouldn't see this movie.


well the only majini they have running around are the ones that have the thingy pop out of their mouth. im not saying they were EVERYWHERE. they were only in key cutscenes.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:26 pm


Well, there was still more than one... Did they explain that at all? Like, why do these zombies suddenly have those things coming out of their mouths?

Also, it's a movie, they're just scenes, not cutscenes. xd

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ElenaMason

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:53 pm


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Well, there was still more than one... Did they explain that at all? Like, why do these zombies suddenly have those things coming out of their mouths?

Also, it's a movie, they're just scenes, not cutscenes. xd


you know you're a hardcore gamer when scenes in movies are cutscenes wink but yeah anyway, nope. they didn't explain a DAMN thing. nothing about uroubourous or anything. they were just there......like your mom.
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