Welcome to Gaia! ::

I started this story two years ago. Its almost done but I was wondering if I should get it published or not. I would love to have your opinions and crit. The story is about a Muslim girl during the time of the crusades. Thanks for reading.

Prologue

The sun beat down on the dry land of Arabia. The wind blew softly across the sand, blowing it until it formed small sand twisters. Mountains loomed over the land toward the west and more sand toward the east.

Within this area, there was a small spring where a family stayed to feed their herd of sheep, goats, and camels. A young girl was among them. She was eight years of age. Following her was a jackal pup and flying above her was a small hawk that just learned to fly. The girl ran over to the spring and sat under an olive tree. The jackal pup lay next to her and placed his head on her lap. The hawk perched herself on a branch above the girl’s head and screeched softly.

The girl was upset with her parents. They had let a group of Christian soldiers stay with them. The girl didn’t trust them. She had a bad feeling about the men that had come. A few looked at her strangely but one made her feel very afraid. He had a blind left eye that seemed to paralyze whoever looked upon it. She told her parents about the man and said that his eye was menacing and unnatural. But her parents wouldn’t listen to her and brushed her worries away.

“Why won’t they listen to me?” she whispered sadly. The jackal pup whined softly. The girl smiled and petted him softly on the head. “Don’t worry, Aslan. Everything will be all right. Once they leave, everything will go back to normal.”

“Amina!”

The girl jumped at the sound of her name being called. She turned to see her brothers, Azim and Raj, walking towards her. They sat on either side of her and smiled. Azim looked down at her sadly and Raj had an expression of boredom. Azim had dragged him here.

“What’s wrong, Ami?” Azim used her nickname, making her feel safe. “Baba and Mama are worried about you. They want to make sure you’re okay.”

The girl gave him a sour look then sighed, “Baba and Mama won’t listen to me. I don’t trust those men.”

“Neither do I, little sister,” Raj said, eating an olive. “But that doesn’t mean you should just storm off. Baba will be very upset.”

Amina nodded in agreement but said nothing. Suddenly there was a loud shout and a harsh scream. The three children looked in the direction of their home and thought the worst. They ran toward the tent and found it burning in red and orange flames.

“Baba!! Mama!!” Amina screamed, running for the tent. Azim grabbed her before she got to close. Amina cried out and struggled against her brother’s grip. Raj grabbed on as well and together the brothers pulled their little sister to safety.

She was staring at the flames in anguish, unable to move, feel, or speak. The flames grew in size and Amina just cried more. As she stared at the red, angry flames, she noticed something move beyond them and shifted her eyes to the object. It was the soldiers and the man with the blind left eye.

Fear and sadness quickly turned to anger and malice. They killed her parents and she vowed revenge. Her brothers felt the same as they stared at the man with an evil grin planted on his ugly face.

“I will have my revenge. I will kill him for what he has done,” Amina whispered, unable to speak harshly. The jackal pup growled and the young hawk shrieked wildly.

“We all will have our revenge, Amina,” Azim promised. “We’ll fight together.”

Raj nodded in agreement. Amina nodded as well as her eyes were once again glued on the flames that seemed to never die.

Thank you. -bows- yes that is a problem. It used to be a lot worse though but I can't believe I missed it. I'll have to fix it when I edit again. Thank you for your post. I might post the first chapter here too but I'm still editing a few parts. So hopefully soon. smile