Welcome to Gaia! ::

Part 2

The Doctor: Can't see a thing.
Rory: Well, its just as well I brought this, then. [He produces a tiny torch.]
The Doctor: [Produces a rather larger light] Ultraviolet. Portable sunlight.
Rory: [stares at the item] Yours is bigger than mine.
The Doctor: Let's not go there.

Rossanna: A partnership, any which way you choose.
The Doctor: I don't think that's a good idea do you? I'm a Time Lord...you're a big fish. Think of the children.

The Doctor: Blimey, fish from space have never been so... buxom

Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!

The Dream Lord: If you had any more tawdry quirks, you could open up a tawdry quirk shop! The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first year fashion student, I'm surprised that you haven't got a little purple space dog, just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are.

The Doctor: I told you trust nothing we see hear or feel. Look around you, examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true.
Rory: Okay, well, we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside.
Amy: With a bow tie-wearing alien.
Rory: So maybe what [does air quotes] "rings true" isn't so simple.

The Doctor: Yeah, sort of a communal trance, very rare, very complicated, I'm sure there's a dream giveaway to tell, but my mind isn't working because this VILLAGE IS SO DULL!

The Dream Lord: If you die in the dream, you wake up in reality. Healthy recovery in next to no time. Ask me what happens if you die in reality.
Rory: What happens?
The Dream Lord: You die, stupid. That's why it's called "reality".

The Doctor: Is anyone going to mention Rory’s ponytail? You hold him down, I’ll cut it off?
Rory: Says the guy in a bow tie?
The Doctor: Hey, bow ties are cool

Dream Lord: Let’s all jump under a bus and wake up in the TARDIS. You first.
The Doctor: Leave her alone.
Dream Lord: Say that again. I love it when he does that. Tall dark hero, leave her alone!
Rory: Just leave her!
Dream Lord: Yes, you’re not so impressive

Rory: [picks up phone] Can't we just call for help?
The Doctor: Yes, because the universe is really quite small and there's bound to be someone nearby.[takes the phone, and hits Rory over the head with it]

The Doctor: Oh look, a big mining thing. Oh, I love a big mining thing... see? Way better than Rio; Rio doesn't have a big mining thing.
Amy: We're not going to have a look, are we?
The Doctor: Let's go and have a look.

The Doctor: [reading sign] "Restricted access, no unauthorized personnel." Hmmm.... [opens lock with sonic screwdriver]
Amy: That's breaking and entering!
The Doctor: What did I break? Sonic-ing and entering, totally different.

The Doctor: ...and blue grass. [eats said grass]
Amy: Oh please, have you always been so disgusting?
The Doctor: No, that's recent.

The Doctor: [in a room which is breaking apart] Under the circumstances, I'd suggest... run!

Male Scientist: You're not making any sense, man.
The Doctor: Excuse me—I'm making perfect sense, you're just not keeping up.

Elliot: Have you met monsters before?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Elliot: Are you scared of them?
The Doctor: No; they're scared of me.

Rory: Can't you sonic it?
The Doctor: It doesn't work on wood!
Rory: That's... rubbish.
The Doctor: OI! DON'T DISS THE SONIC!

Doctor: Thank you sir, very helpful indeed. Nice bowtie! Bow ties are cool.
Dr Black: [Laughing] Yours is very.
Doctor: Oh, thank you. Keep telling them stuff. Come on.
Amy: What about the other pictures!
Doctor: Art can wait - this is life and death. We need to talk to Vincent van Gogh.

Vincent Van Gogh: But you're not armed!
The Doctor: I am.
Vincent Van Gogh: What with?
The Doctor: Over-confidence, this [taps suitcase], and a small screwdriver. I'm absolutely sorted.

The Doctor: [talking to Vincent and Amy] One simple instruction, don't follow me under any circumstances.
Vincent: Will you follow him?
Amy: [in an obvious tone] Of course!
Vincent: I love you.

Doctor: That’s impressive hearing he’s got, what’s less impressive is our chances of survival.

Doctor: I am really stupid.
Amy: Oh, get a grip! This is not a moment to re-evaluate your self esteem!
Doctor: No, I really am stupid, and I’m growing old. Why does it attack but never eat its victims, and why was it abandoned by the pack and left to die, and why is it feeling its way helplessly around the walls of the room? It can’t see. It's blind. That, of course explains why it has such perfect hearing!
Vincent: Which, unfortunately, explains why it is now turning around and heading straight for us!

Craig: Give me back those keys, you can't have those!
Doctor: Yes, quite right, have some rent. [Hands him a paper bag stuffed with cash] That's probably quite a lot, isn't it... Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell. Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. I like sweets.

Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why.

Craig: That was amazing! Where'd you learn to cook?
The Doctor: Paris, 18th Century... no, that's not recent, is it? I meant 17th, no, 20th. Sorry, not used to doing them in the right order.
Craig: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?
The Doctor: They never really stop.

Doctor: All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
Amy: Have you seen you?
Doctor: So you're just going to be snide, no helpful hints?
Amy: Hmmm... Well, here's one. Bow tie? Get rid!
Doctor: [Insistently] Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!
Amy: They watch telly, they play football, they go down the pub.
Doctor: I could do those things. I mean I don't. But I could.

Doctor: [Disoriented in a towel, just after falling out of the shower] What's happened?! What's going on?!
Craig: Is that my toothbrush? [Indicating his electric toothbrush, which the Doctor grabbed believing it to be his sonic screwdriver]
Doctor: Correct! You spoke to the man upstairs? What did he look like?!
Craig: A lot more normal then you do now, mate.
Doctor: I thought you might be in trouble.
Craig: Thanks, well if I ever am, you can come and save me...with my toothbrush.

Shaun: Alright Doctor, I’m Shaun. So where’re you strongest?
The Doctor: Arms.
Craig: No, he means what position on the field?
The Doctor: Not sure, the front? The side? Dunno.
Shaun: Are you any good though?
The Doctor: Let’s find out [kicks ball]

Doctor: Just reconnecting all the electrics. It's a real mess. [Holds up a regular screwdriver] Where's the 'on' switch for this?

Amy: Doctor! Stop! Are you upstairs?!
Doctor: Just going in.
Amy: No, you can't be upstairs!
Doctor: Of course I can be upstairs!
Amy: No, I've got the plans! You cannot be upstairs. It's a one story building. There is no upstairs.

Doctor: Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue, please state the nature of your emergency!

The Doctor: The way I see it, every life is a pile of good
things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

The Third Doctor: Courage isn't just a matter of not being afraid. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do
anyway.

The Fourth Doctor: Something's going on contrary to the laws of the universe. I must find out what!

The Fifth Doctor: Well, there's a probability of anything. Statistically speaking, if you gave typewriters to a treeful of monkeys, they'd eventually produce the works of William
Shakespeare

The Seventh Doctor: Yes, that's right, you're going. You've been gone for ages. You're already gone. You're still here. You've just arrived. I haven't even met you yet. It all depends on who you are and how you look at it. Strange business, time.

The Ninth Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your
room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross!
GO! TO! YOUR! ROOM! .........................I'm really
glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

The Doctor: Oh, tell me you're not. Tell me you're not archaeologists.
River Song: What's wrong with archaeologists?
The Doctor: I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists.
River Song: Dr. River Song, Archaeologist

Craig: Will it work?!
Doctor: Yes!
Craig: Are you sure?!
Doctor: Yes!
Craig: Is that a lie?!
Doctor: ...Of course it's a lie!
Craig: Good enough for me. Geronimo!

The Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.
River Song: You wouldn't answer your phone

Amy: What was that!?
The Doctor: Okay, need a proper look. Gotta draw its fire, give it a target.
Amy: How?
Doctor: You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
Amy: Yes...
The Doctor: Sorry.
[The Doctor runs out from behind the Pandorica]
The Doctor: Look at me; I'm a target!

The Doctor: Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But, bad news everyone 'cause guess who! Ha! Listen, you lot! You're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I—AM—TALKING! [The ships stop instantly] Now the question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: Who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don't have: anything to lose! So! If you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceships with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then, and then... do the smart thing: Let somebody else try first. :[The battleships all flee to a much higher orbit]
The Doctor: That should keep them squabbling for half an hour.

[The Doctor appears in front of Rory wearing a fez and holding a mop.]
The Doctor: Rory, listen! She's not dead... well, she is dead, but it's not the end of the world... well, it is the end of the world. Actually, it's the end of the universe. Ooh no, hang on. [he disappears.]
Auton Rory: Doctor!!
[The Doctor reappears, this time without the mop.]
The Doctor: You need to get me out of the Pandorica.
Auton Rory: But you're not in the Pandorica.
The Doctor: Yes I am. Well, now I'm not, but I was back then... which is "now" from your point of view, which is "back then" from my point of view. Time travel—you can't keep it straight in your head. [tosses screwdriver to Rory] Easy to open from the outside—just point, and press. Now, go. [disappears again, leaving Rory bemused... then reappears.] Oh, and when you're done, leave my screwdriver in her top pocket. [disappears again.]
Auton Rory: What do you mean?! Done what?!

River Song: [stuck in a time loop] I'm sorry my love. [Begins loop again]
The Doctor: [Standing by the door] Hi honey, I'm home.
River Song: And what sort of time do you call this?

River Song: I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
[Amy takes the fez and throws it in the air, and River blasts it into smithereens.]

Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River Song: Not yet... Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised... One alpha meson burst through your eye-stalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records Indicate you will show mercy; you are an associate of the Doctor.
River Song: I'm River Song... Check your records again. [aims for the eye-stalk]
Dalek: ...Mercy?
River Song: Say it again.
Dalek: Mercy!
River Song: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!
[Cut to River rejoining Amy and Rory]
Amy: What happened to the Dalek?
River: It died.

[As Amy remembers the Doctor and the TARDIS starts to materialize in the room]
Rory: Amy, what is it?
Amy: Something old, Something new. Something borrowed, Something blue.

9th
Clive: Just "the Doctor," always "the Doctor." The Doctor is a legend woven throughout history. When disaster comes, he's there. He brings a storm in his wake and he has one constant companion: death.

Rose: Who are you then? Who's that lot down there? [The Doctor ignores her] I said who are they?!
The Doctor: They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which would be a great big problem if- [he pulls a bleeping bomb out of his coat] -I didn't have this. So I'm gonna go upstairs and blow it up. And I might well die in the process. But don't worry about me, no. You go home, go on! Go and have your lovely beans on toast. [suddenly serious] Don't tell anyone about this 'cos if you do, you'll get them killed. [closes the door] [opens it again] I'm The Doctor, by the way. What's your name?
Rose: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose. [holds up the bomb, shaking it slightly while grinning.] Run for your life!

Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie: Anything could happen.
The Doctor: No. [walks away]

Rose: Who are you?
The Doctor: [turns around] Do you know like we were sayin'? About the Earth revolving? [walks towards Rose] It's like when you're a kid. The first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cause everything looks like it's standin' still. [looks at Rose] I can feel it. [takes Rose's hand] The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinnin' at 1,000 miles an hour and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're fallin' through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go... [lets go of Rose's hand] That's who I am.

The Doctor: [About the Tardis] The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through those doors, and believe me, they've tried!

Rose: Hold on, if you're an alien, why do you sound like you're from the North?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a North!

The Doctor: How can you hide something that big in a city this small?
Rose: Hold on... hide what?
The Doctor: The transmitter. The [Nestene] Consciousness is controlling every single piece of plastic so it needs a transmitter to boost the signal.
Rose: What's it look like?
The Doctor: Like a transmitter. Round and massive, slap bang in the middle of London. [starts pacing along the Victoria Embankment.] A huge circular metal structure... like a dish... [stops pacing and stands by a railing with the London Eye in the background] like a wheel. Close to where we're standing. Must be completely invisible. [Rose stares at the Eye. The Doctor turns around.] What? [Rose motions towards it. The Doctor turns around again] What? What is it? [The Doctor turns around one last time and finally realizes] Oh... fantastic!

Master of Ceremonies: Who the hell are you?
The Doctor: That's nice, thanks.
Master of Ceremonies: But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone! The guests will be arriving any minute!
The Doctor: Oh, that's me, I'm a guest. [He holds up psychic paper] See, there's my invitation, "The Doctor, +1" This is Rose Tyler, she's my plus one. Is that all right?
Master of Ceremonies: Well, obviously. Apologies, etc. [Doctor nods in an understanding manner.] As long as you're here, we'd better start.
The Doctor: [aside to Rose] The paper's slightly psychic, makes them see whatever I want them to see.

Cassandra: [making her grand entrance] I know, I know, shocking isn't it? I've had my chin, completely removed. And look at the difference! Look how thin I am! Thin, and dainty. I don't look a day over 2000! My mother was a Texan, my father was from the Arctic belt. They were born on the Earth, and they are the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to bid them "farewell". [sniffs dramatically] But I bring these gifts. Here, the last ostrich egg. Legend says it grew to a wingspan of over fifty feet, and blew fire from its nostrils... or was that my third husband. [Crowd laughs politely.] And here, a true treasure. [Little people wheel out an old Jukebox] Historians tell us that this was known as an "iPod". Play on! ["Tainted Love" by Soft Cell plays]

The Doctor: [opening Rose's phone] Tell you what. With a bit of jiggery pokery—
Rose: Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery"?
The Doctor: Yeah, I got a first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose: [playing along] Nah, I failed hullabaloo.

Rose: I meant to phone. I really did, I just f-forgot.
Jackie: What, for a year? You forgot for a year?! And I am left sitting here! I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've been?!
The Doctor: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.
Policeman: When you say "companion", is this a sexual relationship?
Rose and the Doctor: [They look at each other and then simultaneously say] No!
Jackie: Then what is it? Because you, you waltz in here all charm and smiles and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you, then, Forty? Forty-five? What, did you find her on the internet? Did you go on-line and pretend you're a doctor?!
The Doctor: I am a doctor!
Jackie: Prove it! Stitch this, mate! [slaps him]

Rose: My mum's here.
The Doctor: Oh, that's just what I need! Don't you dare make this place domestic!
Mickey: You ruined my life, Doctor. [the Doctor turns and looks at him, irritated] They thought she was dead, I was a murder suspect because of you!
The Doctor: [looks at Rose] See what I mean? Domestic!
Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name!
The Doctor: Ricky.
Mickey: It's Mickey!
The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.
Mickey: I think I know my own name!
The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?

The Doctor speaking to the military police inside 10 Downing Street.]
The Doctor: I think you'll find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise, and— [Glances at military police leader.] That’s never gonna work, is it?
[The policeman shakes his head.]
Policeman: Nope.
The Doctor: Fair enough. [runs]

The Doctor: Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every single wall. They'll never get in. [smiles triumphantly]
Rose: And how do we get out?
The Doctor: [still smiling, looks around and then nods] Ah. [still smiles]

Rose: [on the phone] Um... my mother's cooking.
The Doctor: Good, put her on a slow heat and let her simmer.
Rose: She's cooking tea. For us.
The Doctor: I don't do that.
Rose: She wants to get to know you.
The Doctor: Tough. I've got better things to do.
Rose: She's my mother.
The Doctor: She's not mine.
Rose: That's not fair!
The Doctor: Well, you can stay there if you want! [persuasively] But right now there's this plasma storm brewing in the Horsehead Nebula. Fires are burning ten million miles wide! I could fly the TARDIS right into the heart of it and ride the shockwave all the way out. Hurtled right across the sky and end up anywhere! Your choice. [he hangs up]

The Doctor: Present for you, Mickey. [hands him a CD] That's a virus, put it online, it'll destroy every mention of me, I'll cease to exist!
Mickey Smith: What you wanna do that for?
The Doctor: Cause you're right: I am dangerous, I don't want anyone following me.
Mickey Smith: [looks as Rose comes out] How can you say that and then take her with you?
The Doctor: You could look after her. Come with us.
Mickey Smith: I can't... this life of yours, it's just too much, I couldn't do it. Don't tell her I said that.

The Doctor: Oh, look at you! [camera shows the head of a metal man, a Cyberman's head, which the Doctor finds very intriguing]
Rose: What is it?
The Doctor: An old friend of mine. Well, enemy. The stuff of nightmares reduced to an exhibit. I'm getting old.

[To Adam]
Van Statten: You, English, look after the girl. Go and... canoodle or spoon or whatever it is you British people do. And you, Doctor-with-no-name, come and see my pet.

The Doctor: Look, I'm sorry about this. Mr Van Staten might think he's clever, but never mind him. I've come to help; I'm the Doctor.
"Metaltron": [in a grating, metallic voice] Doc... tor?
The Doctor: [horrified] Impossible!
"Metaltron": [angrily] The Doctor?!
[The lights come on and the Metaltron is revealed to be a Dalek]
Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
The Doctor: [pounding on the vault door, terrified] Let me out!
Dalek: You are an enemy of the Daleks! You must be destroyed! [waves its laser around, but nothing more; the Doctor stares in disbelief]
The Doctor: [chuckles] It's not working! [laughs hysterically] Fantastic! Oh, fantastic! Powerless! Look at you. The great space dustbin - how does it feel?
Dalek: Keep back!
The Doctor: What for? What are you gonna to do to me?! If you can't kill, then what are you good for, Dalek? What's the point of you?! You're nothing! What the hell are you here for?
Dalek: I am waiting for orders.
The Doctor: What does that mean?
Dalek: I am a soldier. I was bred to receive orders.
The Doctor: Well, you're never gonna get any. Not ever.
Dalek: I demand orders!
The Doctor: They're never gonna come! Your race is dead! You all burned, all of you! Ten million ships on fire; the entire Dalek race wiped out in one second!
Dalek: YOU LIE!
The Doctor: I watched it happen! I MADE IT HAPPEN!
Dalek: You destroyed us?!
[The Doctor turns away from the Dalek, suddenly remorseful].
The Doctor: [quietly] I had no choice.
Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?
The Doctor: Dead. They burned with you. The end of the last Great Time War... everybody lost.

Simmons: What're you going to do? Sucker me to death? [Dalek extends its suction arm and suckers him to death]

Dalek: I shall speak only to the Doctor.
The Doctor: [snidely] You're gonna get rusty.
Dalek: I fed off the DNA of Rose Tyler. Extrapolating the biomass of a time traveller regenerated me.
The Doctor: What's your next trick?
Dalek: I have been searching for the Daleks.
The Doctor: Yeah, I saw. Downloading the Internet. What did you find?
Dalek: I scanned your satellites and radio telescopes.
The Doctor: And?
Dalek: Nothing. WHERE SHALL I GET MY ORDERS NOW!?
The Doctor: [coldly] You're just a soldier without commands.
Dalek: Then I shall follow the Primary Order. The Dalek instinct to destroy, to conquer!
The Doctor: [angry and solemn] What for!? What's the point!? Don't you see it's all gone!? Everything you were, everything you stood for.
Dalek: [confused] Then what should I do?
The Doctor: Alright, then. If you want orders, follow this one. [tense silence] Kill yourself.
Dalek: The Daleks must survive!
The Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Now why don't you finish the job, and make the Daleks extinct?! Rid the universe of your filth! Why don't you just die?!
Dalek: [pauses in consideration] You would make a good Dalek.
[The Doctor is left speechless by this remark].

[Digging through a bin of alien weapons.]
The Doctor: Broken. Broken. Hair dryer... [Pulls big gun out of bin.] Oh, yes! Lock and load!

Dalek: Why do we survive?
The Doctor: I don't know.
Dalek: I am the last of the Daleks.
The Doctor: You're not even that. Rose did more than regenerate you: you've absorbed her DNA. You're mutating.
Dalek: [horrified] Into what!?
The Doctor: Something new. I'm sorry.
Rose: But isn't that better?
The Doctor: Not for a Dalek.
Dalek: I can feel...so many ideas...so much darkness. Rose, give me orders. Order me...to die.
Rose: I can't do that.
Dalek: [angrily] This is not life. This is sickness! I shall not be like you! Order my destruction! Obey! Obey! OBEY!
Rose: [tearfully] Do it.
Dalek: [more gently] Are you... frightened, Rose Tyler?
Rose: Yes.
Dalek: So am I. [to itself] Exterminate.

Rose: [Looking out over the earth] That's...well, I'll let The Doctor explain, he does it better.
The Doctor: The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. Humanity at its highest.
[Adam faints]
The Doctor: [leans towards Rose, still looking out over the Earth] He's your boyfriend.
Rose: [monotone] Not anymore.

The Doctor: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers. Or is that just me?

The Doctor: Amazing.
Nancy: What is?
The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says "No. No, not here." A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. I don't know what you did to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me.

Doctor Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither, but I'm still a doctor.
The Doctor: Yeah. I know the feeling.

The Doctor: It's my nose; it has special powers.
Nancy: Yeah? That why it's so...?
The Doctor: What?
Nancy: Nothing.
The Doctor: What?
Nancy: Nothing. Do your ears have special powers too?


Boy (and others): Are you my mummy? Are you my mummy?
The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO! TO! YOUR! ROOM! [The children lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.


The Doctor: Sonic blaster, 51st Century... weapon factories at Villengard?
Capt. Jack Harkness: Yeah. You've been to the factories?
The Doctor: Once.
Jack: They're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporised the lot.
The Doctor: Like I said, once... There's a banana grove there now. I like bananas. Bananas are good.
[Later]
Jack: Nice switch.
The Doctor: Thanks. From the groves at Villengard. Thought it was appropriate.
Jack: There's really a banana grove in the heart of Villengard, and you did that?
The Doctor: Bananas are good.

The Doctor: Funny little human brains. How do you get around in those things?
Rose: [To Jack] When he's stressed he likes to insult species.
The Doctor: Rose, I'm thinking.
Rose: Cuts himself shaving - does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than.

The Doctor: Don't drop the banana!
Jack Harkness: Why not?
The Doctor: Good source of potassium!


Jack Harkness: [pointing his squareness gun at the empty people] Okay, this can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor. Doc, what you got?
The Doctor: A sonic... er... oh, never mind.
Jack Harkness: What?
The Doctor: It's sonic, okay? Let's leave it at that.
Jack Harkness: Disruptor? Cannon? What?
The Doctor: It's sonic! Totally sonic! I am sonic-ed up!
Jack Harkness: A sonic what?!
The Doctor: Screwdriver!
Jack Harkness: Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Jack Harkness: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic"?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!
The Doctor: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?
Rose: [shocked] What?
The Doctor: And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me anything; I'm on fire!

Margaret Blaine: Why can't you just leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Margaret Blaine: Apart from that.

Dalek 1: [glances at Rose] We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated!
The Doctor: No.
[Pause. The Daleks glance at each other in confusion.]
Dalek 1: Explain yourself!
The Doctor: I said no.
Dalek 1: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means no.
Dalek 1: But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to rescue her! I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I'm going to save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek 1: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.


The Doctor: Rose, Captain, this is the Emperor of the Daleks.
Dalek Emperor: You destroyed us, Doctor! The Dalek Race died in your inferno, but my ship survived, falling through time, crippled but alive!
The Doctor: I get it...!
Daleks: Do not interrupt! Do not interrupt! Do not interrupt!
The Doctor: I think you're forgetting something. I'm the Doctor, and if there's one thing I can do, it's talk! I've got 5 billion languages and you haven't got one way of stopping me, so if anyone's gonna shut up, IT'S YOU! [The Daleks recoil in fear. The Doctor turns back to the Emperor.] Okey-doke, so where were we?

Rose: I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be.
The Doctor: [gets up suddenly] That's what I see, all the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?
Rose: My head—
The Doctor: Come here.
Rose: —is killing me.
The Doctor: I think you need a doctor.

The Doctor: [upon realizing he is about to regenerate] Rose Tyler. I was going to take you to so many places. Barcelona! Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it, fantastic place! They've got dogs with no noses! [Laughs] Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke and it's still funny!
Rose: Then... why can't we go?
The Doctor: Maybe you will. Maybe I will. But not like this.
Rose: You're not making sense.
The Doctor: I might never make sense again! I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head, ha! And don't say that's an improvement... But it's a bit dodgy, this process. [pause] You never know what you're going to end up with.
[The Doctor cringes in intense pain.]
Rose: Doctor!
The Doctor: Stay away!
Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on—
The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no one's meant to do that... [looks up at her] Every cell in my body's dying.
Rose: Isn't there something you can do?
The Doctor: Yeah. Doing it now. See, Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except... it means I'm going to change. And you're not going to see me again... Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go—
Rose: Don't say that!
The Doctor: Rose... before I go, I just want to tell you: you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? [Pause] So was I!

Cassandra: It's goodbye trampoline, hello blondie!

Cassandra (in Rose's body): [voice high, sounds distressed] Look at me. From class to brass.
[after a moment's consideration]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): Although...
[studying Rose's body]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): Ooh. Curves.
[bounces up and down]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): Oh Baby!
[Chip's now bouncing with her; Cassandra sounds excited]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): It's like living inside a bouncy castle!

Rose: What about the skin? I saw it. You... you got ripped apart!
Cassandra: That piece of skin was from the front of my body. This piece is the back.
Rose: Haha, right, so you're talking outta your...
Cassandra: Ask not!

Chip: [looking at the remains of Cassandra's old form, sadly] My old mistress has gone.
Cassandra (in Rose's body): But safe and sound in here.
[taps her head]
Chip: But what of the Rose child's mind?
Cassandra (in Rose's body): Oh, tucked away. I can just about access the surface memory. She's...
[reading Rose's mind]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): God, she's with the Doctor. That man, he's the Doctor. The same Doctor with a new face! That hypocrite!
[in an undertone]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): I must get the name of his surgeon.

The Doctor: Ward 26. And watch out for the disinfectant.
Rose: Watch out for what?
The Doctor: The *disinfectant*!
Rose: The what?
The Doctor: *The disin... * - oh, you'll find out.

The Doctor: So the year five billion, the sun expands, the earth gets roasted...
Rose: That was our first date.
The Doctor: We had chips!

Cassandra: This is destiny. At last I can be revenged on that little b...
Rose: [to Doctor] Bit rich, coming from you.

Cassandra (in Rose's body): [unaware Cassandra is inhabiting Rose's body; the Doctor questioned the nurses' secrecy on their miracle medicine] I can't Adam and Eve it.
The Doctor: What... What's with the voice?
Cassandra (in Rose's body): Oh, I don't know, just larking about. New Earth. New me.
The Doctor: Well, I can talk. New new Doctor.
[smiles]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): Mmm, aren't you just?
[kisses The Doctor; breathing somewhat heavily]
Cassandra (in Rose's body): T-ter-terminal's this way.
[walks away, fanning her face as if warm]
The Doctor: [looks at her, disoriented; finally, in squeaky voice] Yep. Still got it.

Computer: Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that platform one forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth death is scheduled for 15:39, followed by drinks in the Manchester suite.

Rose Tyler: [talking to the potted cutting of Jabe's grandfather] Hello. My name's Rose... that's a sort of plant. We might be related.
[pauses]
Rose Tyler: I'm talking to a twig.

Rose Tyler: They all speak English.
The Doctor: No you just hear English. Its the gift of the TARDIS - the telepathic field gets inside your brain - translates.
Rose Tyler: Its inside my brain?
The Doctor: Well, in a good way!

The Doctor: Oh, she's not my wife.
Jabe: Partner?
The Doctor: No.
Jabe: Concubine?
The Doctor: Nope.
Jabe: Prostitute?
Rose Tyler: Whatever I am, it must be invisible - do you mind? Tell you what - you two go and pollenate - I'm gonna catch up with the family.
[points at Cassandra]
Rose Tyler: Quick word with Michael Jackson.
The Doctor: Don't start a fight.
[offers his arm to Jabe]
The Doctor: I'm all yours.
[she accepts his arm; both start to leave]
Rose Tyler: [to Doctor] And I want you home by midnight!

Cassandra: [as she is revealed as the mastermind behind the sabotage] I had hoped to manufacture a hostage situation, with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous.
The Doctor: Five billion years and it still comes down to money.
Cassandra: Do you think it's cheap looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune.

Rose Tyler:You're just skin, Cassandra. Lipstick and skin.

Rose Tyler: How many operations have you had?
Cassandra: 708. Next week its 709 - I'm having my blood bleached. Is that why wanted a word? You could be flatter - you've got a little bit of a... chin... poking out.
Rose Tyler: I'd rather die.
Cassandra: Honestly it doesn't hurt!
Rose Tyler: No, I mean it. I would rather die. It's better to die than to live like you - a bitchy trampoline.

The Doctor: Anyone in there?
Rose Tyler: Let me out!
The Doctor: Oh well, it would be you!

The Doctor: 10,000 years in the future. Step outside and it's the year 12005, the New Roman Empire.
Rose Tyler: You think you're so impressive.
The Doctor: I *am* so impressive!
Rose Tyler: You wish.

Cassandra: [about a large vintage Wurlitzer jukebox which was wheeled in] And here, another rarity - according to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers - play on!
[a henchman presses a button on the jukebox, which starts playing Soft Cell's "Tainted Love"]

Cassandra: The planet's end! Come gather, come gather! Bid farewell to the cradle of civilization! Let us mourn her with a traditional ballad...
[jukebox selects "Toxic" by Britney Spears]

The Doctor: You've seen how dangerous it is - do you wanna go home?
Rose Tyler: I dunno... I want... Oh, can you smell chips?
The Doctor: Yeah!
[laughs]
The Doctor: Yeah!
Rose Tyler: I want chips.
The Doctor: Me too!
Rose Tyler: Right then, before you get me back in that box - chips it is - and you can pay.
The Doctor: No money.
Rose Tyler: What sort of date are you? Come on then, tight wad, chips are on me... we've only got five billion years till the shops close!


And,My favorite:

Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Well... this is... different...
Rose: Cassandra?
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Goodness me, I'm a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used.
[starts jerking around]
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Ah, ah! Two hearts! Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!
Rose: Get out of him!
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Ooh, he's slim... and a little bit foxy. You thought so too; I've been inside your head. You've been looking. You *like* it.

4th Doctor: "Would you like a jelly baby?"
Harry: "A trip? In that old police box?"
4th Doctor: "Yes! As a matter of fact, in that 'old' Police Box!"
Harry: "Come on Doctor, we're both reasonable men. Now, we both know that police boxes don't go careering about all over the place."
4th Doctor: "...Do we?"

11th Doctor: "You know when I have those brilliant ideas?"
Amy: "...Yeah?"
11th Doctor: "Sorry. LOOK AT ME, I'M A TARGET!"