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 Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:15 pm
For as long as I can remember, I have been used by guys to get other girls jealous or to win a bet or something of that sort. Every guy that I have liked (And both of the guys I have dated...) have never truly liked me back, let alone loved me. Heck! My first boyfriend used me to get my cousin jealous! I guess I've become very guarded around boys. But recently, I've been falling for a fellow member of the marching band at my school, and I'm scared that If I trust him he will eventually hurt me in the end like all the others have. I've tried praying to god to give me guidance, but I haven't got the slightest clue what to do now. Every day my feelings grow stronger for him and I've never been able to hold anything in for very long...what If I blurt it out to him randomly and scare him away? Yes I know I am being a little dramatic but it has happened before. Any advice will be helpful...
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Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:02 pm
I'm sorry to hear about your past experiences with guys -hugs-
I will say that yes, he probably will hurt you. No matter who you are with and even your future husband, he will hurt you. It is rough and heartbreaking but we live in a world of sin, pain and suffering.
The super good news is that God is still with us. And it is by the grace and mercy of God and how surrendered we are to Him which helps us through those hurts with our loved ones.
Keep praying and talking to God about this. The closer you get to Him, the better you will hear Him. If you think you are close to Him, try getting closer :3 Cultivate that relationship with God first so that you can hear His words of wisdom that He has for you.
Meanwhile, talk to the boy you like :3 Talk as friends and get to know him that way before you two begin dating. You might find out something about him that turns you away from him.
And be mindful. Does he know Jesus? How does he feel about God? Will having a relationship with him come between your relationship with God?
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Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:42 pm
No matter who you choose to date, you will get hurt. That's a guarantee when you're in a relationship. No one is perfect and everyone messes up once in a while. The person you decide to date will hurt you and you will more than likely hurt him too. But be sure not to hold him accountable for the mistakes of your ex's.
I can relate to you because my first boyfriend did the same to me. He only asked me out to prove to his friends that he "could get the ugly girls too." But just because there are sleeze balls out there, that doesn't mean every guy is bad. I think before you can ever get into a relationship, you have to learn to trust others and deal with some inner issues. Understand that you weren't the one who messed up those relationships and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. They were the ones who messed up. But don't put yourself in another relationship until you can learn to deal with the current issues inside of you.
Pray to the Lord that He heals you of your inner wounds and that He assists you in learning to trust others again.
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Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 4:19 pm
@Pawz: Thanks for the hug! =3 One of the reasons I really like him is that he is very close to God, closer than any other guy I've met. (except for the pastor of my church lol) I will try to pray more often and read the bible whenever I have spare time, thanks! ( so much time is consumed by marching band XD)
@Wishboxx: Thank you, and I think you are probably right about probably not getting into a relationship until my issues are solved. Its the learning to trust guys again that is going to be the toughest part...but with jesus at my side there isnt anything I cant do....
Thank you both so much, I'll be sure to put up updates about this journey through Christ. (I love Writing this stuff down and sharing it with people ^^)
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:35 pm
Forgive me for throwing this into the mix, but perhaps your problem is not a guarded, untrusting nature but a lack of discernment?
It is wise to be cautious about trusting, especially after your experiences. God never called us to be stupid. Try praying to God for discernment so you can see who is genuine and who is not. Consider how these boys treat not just you but other girls, listen to how they talk about women in general. These will give you clues to their character that will directly affect how they truly feel about you.
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Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 2:48 pm
Three years old late reply I sorry. You must be strong my sister, you cannot be chump in this world. The worst feeling is someone else getting your mate you wanted. You must be strong and I am here for you regardless just like all my precious sisters here beside me with our arms open for you. If you dont get the one you are in love with now just know I love you and I will hold you close. You can tell me your deepest desires and I will not mind it. I have such history with my sisters, almost as if we are all living off the same heart beat. Listen to this video sister
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