Welcome to Gaia! ::

I stand there looking at you as you enter my realm. "This is the Realm of Madness, my realm. I am the God of this realm, thee God of Madness. If you enter my realm you are mine. I can do whatever to you or the area around you. It is my realm after all. There is no limited to my realm and it's wonders. You can do whatever you want, even killing me, however I am a God so I don't die so it just gets weird. What else?" I start to seat down and a throne appears behind me so that I am sitting on it. "I can take anything way from you, change you, add to you... whatever you want you can have but again I could take it away from you. So lets just do this. Name anything you want and I'll give it to you, besides leaving my realm or becoming The God of Madness. There is probably a few other things but not important at this time. I'll also do one thing to you... of my choosing, it may or may not be something you like... So? What do you want?" I wait a moment then add "Oh yeah, and if you don't pick anything I'll just choose something. So..."
Paul Michael Levesque, also know as the wrestler Triple H, and Michael Shawn Hickenbottom, also know as the wrestler Shawn Michaels, both appear and both look at one another then at you.
Triple H grabs a mic out of thin air and talks into it. "Are you ready?" He then shouts "No, Realm of Madness, I said ARE YOU READY?" He then continue on, in a similar voice to Michael Buffer, "Then, for the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the world : Let's get ready to suck it!"
Both Triple H and Shawn Michaels do their 'Suck it' pose and vanish.
I grin at you.

"Woman, are you hard of hearing? I said one... one thing, one thing, not three, one... one, two, three... no! One! ONE! Do I need someone else here to explain what one is?"
Three monkeys appear out of nowhere and punch you in the face, then disappear.
"That is three! Now this is one."
One monkey appears and punches you in the face.
"See how much better that is? So... ONE!"

"You really don't understand the number one do you...? Being a level one Cleric is one thing... but being a Gnome is one thing... oh my... is that two? Weird I could have swear I said pick one thing... not two... odd... Wont to try this again? Maybe one last time before I make you a level one whore."

"Really? I could really get you an awesome car. It can do zero to a million in three point five seconds... but sadly you already said Gnome so I guess your going to have to... wait... damn I already turned you into a Gnome... damn I messed that up... anyway your a Gnome now... BLUE OFF!" I look at the other guy, "Are you going to stay silent forever or are you letting me pick?"

"Wrong answer!" I start to laugh uncontrollably. After about five minutes I slowly stop. "Okay what was I saying? Oh yeah... So if you add brandy to that you'll have a great apple pie. Wait that is not right..." I sniff the air. "Do you smell that?" I sniff the air again, then look down at my shoe. "Oh man I got Cyan all over my shoe!"
William Jonathan Drayton Junior, better know as Flavor Flav, appears out of no where and screams "Yeah boy!" Then gets into a BMW and drives off.
"So, your a Gnome, and I am... giving you this Eight-One HONDA! Civic." I start to laugh. As a mini Honda appears.
"As for you... you now can only speak Ogre, seeing how now you are a Ogre. As for the second part... Oh pink it. I have forgotten it. I had something so awesome when you first entered... pink... maybe I'll remember it later. Until then you'll be..." I think then come up with a crappy idea. I pull something out from behind my back. "Here, take this shirt." It was a DX shirt that would fit the Ogre perfectly. "Now... you have to travel to that tower over there. Should take you three hours walk... and for the record you car moves just as fast as the Ogre can, nothing more... nothing less... unless you stop... or push on the gas less... I'll meet you at the tower! Oh yeah... I'm watching you!" I do that thing with your fingers when you say that line.

I put on the dx shirt and then I start to walk towards the tower

I start to sing along with the song...

Putts alongside the ogre listening to the radio... and the ogre... singing in ogre/giant.