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 Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:52 pm
Hello all. I'm new to this guild and I guess I should semi introduce myself. I'm a married man, just turned 30, work a semi crummy job . I am however, not a Buddhist. I very much enjoy learning about this faith in it's various aspects, both as just a way to live life and the more spiritual undertones. Thus why I wanted to join this guild. To learn!
Now, in regards to anger. I have always seen emotions as tools. Anger can be a positive tool if used and in controll of it. IE angry at child molestors, so you use that anger to promote awareness etc.
Anyways, I would like to know you all personaly deal with anger, and what your respective sects say about it.
The past two days, our dog has decided to whiz all over our bed. This coupled with other factors has slowly been building my ire. Lately I have found myself just....angry. Angry at all sorts of various things and have not been able to express it or find a way to turn it into a positive, so it just builds and builds which is causing other "negative" emotions to rise which Im having trouble dealing with as well.
Thank you in advance for any replies that may cause me to look at this from a new angle.
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:28 am
I found a really good quote from H.H. The Dalai Lama Quote: Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring more energy, confidence and determination. And while it is true that anger brings extra energy, it eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. I hope this helps Buddhanet.net has a lot of good info on it.
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 1:24 am
summa crusta I found a really good quote from H.H. The Dalai Lama Quote: Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring more energy, confidence and determination. And while it is true that anger brings extra energy, it eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. I hope this helps Buddhanet.net has a lot of good info on it. Hrm, I agree in general, but not fully with that quote. In my current case, I agree, as anger is becoming an issue. IN past cases, and with othe rpeople and causes, anger can lead to very beneficial things in this world and without rationality being lost. Though it can easily cause very negative things in this world as well. Anyways, will check out the link a in bit, cant right now. But thanks for the reply!
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 1:19 am
I personally dont think anger is a bad thing (in a sense) its a normal part of who we are. I think by trying to resist it/turn it into something good when you just dont feel like that, I think that builds confusion and makes you unable to deal with the raw emotion thats there, and therefore gets worse.
With the help of Buddhism, I have found that my anger melts away very quickly- it doesnt disappear, I still get angry, but it just goes more easily instead of rolling around for hours, as anger likes to do (and I guess thats where it gets too much, huh?)
So, whenever I get angry, nowadays I tend to just think about why I've reacted in this way. Then from that bit of clarity of the raw emotion (without all excuses sat on top) I think about how necessary it is to be angry in the present moment.
At that point, it just fizzles away when I realise that now I've gotten angry, I now need just get on with things since there's nothing left I can do about the situation.
In this way I dont try to stop being angry/resist which I think makes it worse. You look at your emotion/recognise it, and then a natural solution arises when you just feel the raw emotion and dont let your personal opinions/thoughts on a situation become used as an outlet for more anger. You realise it isnt needed any more and move on to the next feeling.
Not sure how much Buddhism is in there, since I tend to be 'inspired' rather then taking things on fully, but thats how I deal with things nowadays, maybe you can get something from that smile
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Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:11 pm
Thrance summa crusta I found a really good quote from H.H. The Dalai Lama Quote: Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring more energy, confidence and determination. And while it is true that anger brings extra energy, it eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. I hope this helps Buddhanet.net has a lot of good info on it. Hrm, I agree in general, but not fully with that quote. In my current case, I agree, as anger is becoming an issue. IN past cases, and with othe rpeople and causes, anger can lead to very beneficial things in this world and without rationality being lost. Though it can easily cause very negative things in this world as well. Anyways, will check out the link a in bit, cant right now. But thanks for the reply! 
I'm not actually a Buddhist either (just someone who likes to take wisdom where I can find it), and I agree with you. When anger is blindingly hot, it can damage our rationality... but if we can get control of the emotion and cool it off, it can be useful. Some people might not consider the end result to be a true "anger" once it's cooled down, so it might all be a matter of semantics.
An example that's happened to me recently deals with a church leader who acted in an inappropriate way. (I'm an atheist, but I was still attending church for the community, as my family has gone there for 19 years.) He treated my mother very poorly and I was angry at the way he misused his authority. But I took that anger and channelled it into writing a letter to the governing body of the church explaining where he was misbehaving and why I was quitting. Over a few days, I tweaked the letter and made it more professional and less accusatory. I was able to cool down my emotions through this and while I'm still angry, I'm not "actively" angry, if that makes sense. I'm upset that he behaved in such a way, but I'm not allowing myself to dwell on it and heat the anger back up.
I feel like my anger was beneficial in this situation because it prompted me to act. For a long time, I've put up with that person's negative changes without rocking the boat, and it was this anger that caused me to speak up against what I perceived as a wrong.
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