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 Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:13 pm
AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM Name: Whisper
Nicknames: Wisp
Gender: Female
Age: 16
Faction/Race Demon/ Hell Hound [Based off of the Supernatural version of the hell hound]
Personality: Wisp is fairly fun to be around, as she always tries to lighten the mood. She tries her best to stay mostly positive, as she feels like she must be a pillar of strength for those around her. This probably stems from the fact that her father didn’t treat her and her siblings very well, and she was the one to always stand up and say something. The turbulent relationship with her father probably also explains why she hates bullies.
Wisp enjoys most of the typical teenage girl activities such as; shopping, going out, and getting makeovers. The only real exception is dancing. It’s not that she is bad at it, she just feels very embarrassed while shaking her thang. However, Wisp can also be quite tomboyish. She rather enjoys track, and sports that involve running. She also has a secret hard core love for jump rope.
For the majority of the time, Wisp is incredibly easy going. She lets a lot of things slide that would bother the hell out of some people, such as; kicking the back of her seat, someone picking their nose, slurping, and fidgeting. While she can turn the other cheek with most things, she cannot handle obnoxious things. Mostly just gum chewing and bad singers. She isn’t quite sure why these things bother her; she just knows that if she was locked in a room with someone doing these things, she’d probably punch their face off.
Though Wisp is for the most part a nice girl, she also has tendencies that aren’t typically accepted in society. These stem from her species, but also from her need to seek love and approval from others. She tends to stalk people, though not in a harmful way. When she finds someone who she truly takes an interest in, she will do whatever it takes to find out as much as possible about them. Most people will jump to conclusions and think she is going to turn psycho or something, when in reality she just wants to be close to them. Part of her knows there are healthier ways to accomplish this, but she cannot fight her nature.
Should Wisp actually gain a friend, she’d be fairly lost on how to proceed. She would probably need to be reassured that they are indeed her friend, and that they aren’t going anywhere. At first she may continue her stalking activities, but eventually she would do her best to find another way to use that energy around said friend. There may however be some instances where she stalks without realizing it, and would afterwards feel embarrassed.
Another one of her vices is gambling. She will take almost any bet, especially if it is dangerous. Money and rare items are always a great motivator, but Wisp much prefers another type of currency; Secrets. If you are willing to tell her you a secret, she will do just about anything. However, the secret must match the task, as she believes in fairness. As according to her beliefs of fairness, she will not divulge the secrets to anyone for any reason. However, she may use them to her advantage if she chooses to stalk the originator.
Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy?Part of the reason she will be attending the academy is her family. They feel that if she is there, she will learn how to be a proper demon. However, Wisp also has her own reasons. She wants to learn how to control her inner nature, as well as her FEAR. She is afraid that if she does not, she may lose herself to it and become a true monster like some members of her family. She also believes that being around so many others may help her find a few close friends, and finally be able to quench the desires and have such a tight hold on her heart.
FEAR: Wisp’s eyes begin to glow, and she emits a growl that causes paranoia and hallucinations. The person sees what they fear most, and on top of their deepest fears, the victim feels as though they are being closely watched and followed. They become temporarily unaware of their actual surroundings, and only believe in the illusion.
At first Wisp can only move slightly and must concentrate very hard to hold the illusion. The illusion itself is only things that will un-nerve the victim at first. However as she grows and learns how to use the ability, she can move fairly freely, and both the hallucinations and the paranoia become stronger, with a chance cause temporary insanity.
Natural Ability: Shapeshifting
About her Species: Wisp is based off of the supernatural version of the hell hound. In the show, they are used by the crossroads demons to collect on deals. They stalk their prey until it is time to attack and take the soul. Hell hound attacks are vicious, and can be best described as a controlled chaos; controlled meaning they can only go after the target unless their master orders them to do otherwise. The hounds are always depicted as very dangerous and violent.
Physical Description:
Eye Colour: Orange, glowy
Hair Colour/Style: medium/long, black and transparent. Cute and punky. Think something like envy's was in the BotB event.
Skin Colour: Pale maybe?
Clothing Style/Colours: Black and orange, perhaps some silver accents? Punky but still girly.
Extra: Ears, fluffy tail, transparent bits. Also her skull hairclip
References: animal form scarier animal form SPN SPN 2
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Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:14 pm
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Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:15 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:46 am
First of all, I like Whisper's name, species and animal form, but I'm not sure how they relate to the show Supernatural's version of a Hell Hound; maybe you could include a section that details what information on Hell Hounds is 'accurate' according to Whisper's species and family. Personality: She's pretty well rounded; you detail her interests, pet peeves and flaws pretty well and she seems like an interesting character. I like that stalking aspect of her, especially as it could lead to a LOT of misunderstandings. One thing I'm curious about that isn't expanded upon is her fetish for secrets; what does she DO with the secrets once she's given them? Does she continue keeping the secrets, perhaps keep them as black mail fodder in case the person who gave her them pisses her off, or maybe she just tosses them around? That's something to think about. Another thing to think about: once she gets a solid friend, does she continue stalking them? Natural Ability: She doesn't seem to have one 8D What is it? FEAR: This FEAR is interesting, but perhaps a bit too powerful outright. You list some weaknesses depending on her first using it, but maybe saying from the getgo that she can create an illusion of what a person fears most is pushing the bar a bit high. Maybe at first she can only do illusions that creep the person out, but don't send them into a flurry of wails and screams because it's the scariest thing to them ever? And then as she grows the fears get increasingly more frightening and personal. Appearance: Does she have a humanoid form she can take? The artists seem to prefer that, I think it says somewhere that your characters need to at least have a humanoid form from the art perspective but their creature/animal forms can be whatever you like. That said, definitely work on designing a humanoid form, even if it's just an illusion like with her FEAR. Well, that's all I got right now, I hope it helps ; w ;; Would you mind critting back?
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:31 pm
I haven't picked her natural ability as she has 3 i could choose from XD i jsut haven't decided what will fit her best.
I will definitely have to adjust her FEAR, thanks for pointing that out!
She does have a human form, i just don't have a ref yet lol. i'm letting ruri design it when she does her chibi^^
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Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 5:32 pm
Wow, I actually don't have much to crit, and I'm kind of a jerk. o Ao
I really enjoy her personality; it's well-rounded and without the contradictions that sometimes happen with tomboys. What is it about her species that makes her more prone to stalking, and what is her "inner nature"? You say some of her family are monsters, but compared to what? Also, what has her father done to get her so worried? That is, unless that's a secret thing we aren't allowed to know.
...that's pretty much it! I really like her, and her art makes me go "ffffffff"
Would love a crit back, even if I feel a bit lame with this little tiny paragraph! xD;
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Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:22 pm
. . . somehow I have been summoned here to you . . .
Please accept my advice . . . .
- - - - -
@Personality:
1. I like the 'pillar of strength' idea, but just how far is she willing to go with this? Would she put herself in harms way if she believed it would help someone carry on? Is she the type to do almost anything for anyone if she thought it would help them succeed? Also following on this, has she ever burnt herself out trying to be happy?
2. Her stalking sounds pretty funny actually, and I like how you've explained the process without making it sound too obvious. Is she able to find out almost anything and everything on a person just by stalking them, or would she ask their friends for information on them as well?
3. For the secrets part, has she ever shared one of her own in order to get a secret? Has she ever made a mistake and told someone's secret to someone else - or has she never been confused and forgotten who is who in regards to who told her what?
@History:
1. You briefly mention her father - can you expand on this a little? You mention he treated them poorly (and I can get a basic understanding), but a little more detail might help!
2. What happened to her mother? How many siblings does she have?
3. For her enrollment, did her whole family decide or just her father? Is there also a small chance she's going to the school to get away from him? How does she feel about leaving her siblings behind to face him all alone, or has his treatment of them changed over the years?
@ Appearance:
1. I love her different appearances based on her moods in her natural form, but does that translate over into her School!Form as well? As in can she make herself look scarier without even trying, or is she unable to do so without being a Hellhound?
2. What is her skin color? You've left it blank, does this mean just pale white?
@FEAR/Natural Ability:
1. FEAR looks good, I like the restrictions you've placed on it in order to allow her to grow.
2. Can you explain more on her natural ability, or should it be something that doesn't quite count? Is she able to shift back into her normal Hellhound body, or is she stuck in School!Form?
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Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:48 pm
Oh just what Arel needed to complete his Frightday evening, a stalker student. The last time this had happened, it had involved something like thirteen dead follyjoxes, a bunch of wilted nightshade, and half a deceased student, who may or may not have been part of the skeletal assortment decorating the side of the office currently.
About to feed the form to the Shredder, he was surprised when the piece of paper suddenly fluttered, as if blown by an invisible breeze. Guiltily looking around, he decided that placing it in the acceptance folder was probably his best bet. Those damn stalker students.
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