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 Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 10:22 am
This Is The Poem That You Should Be Correcting ~ Please Help Me ~
Ever Since You Came Into My Life
My Life Begin To Bright Slowly
The Closer You Get To Me
The Brighter The Scenery
In My Eyes , You Are The Only One That I Can See
Because You Are My Light In The Dark
The Sweet Smile You Made With Your Lips
That Always Made My Day
You Guided And Lifted My Spirits
Every time You Respond To Me
Now , We Wont Be Seeing Each Other Anymore
That Turn My Life Back To The Old Days
The Only Things I Can Say To You Is Thank You
Thank You For Existing In My Life
Thank You For The Bright Day You Made For Me
The Best Wish Is Thank You For Everything
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Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:04 pm
really really beautiful!! brightened my day hehe
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Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:32 pm
Thank You ~ But Did You Found Any Common Mistake Like Grammar Error ? If You Found It ~ Do Tell Ok ~ Thank You Again For The Comment ~
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:31 am
Sorry for being one to start things I don't finish. At least a few of the things I start get done, but a lot of them like helping on gaia don't get finished. Here's a quick revision.
Changes: If you want, title the poem
"Begin" to "Began" (makes it consistent with the "Ever Since" being sometime before the present time)
"Bright" to "Brighten" (makes it an action/verb of getting lighter, instead of a plain description/adjective)
Won't (add apostrophe)
take out any space between the comma and the word before the comma
other than that, the capitalization is a bit distracting but optional whether to leave as is or to make a change to all lowercase letters
Untitled, by firezz3
Ever Since You Came Into My Life
My Life Began To Brighten Slowly
The Closer You Get To Me
The Brighter The Scenery
In My Eyes, You Are The Only One That I Can See
Because You Are My Light In The Dark
The Sweet Smile You Made With Your Lips
That Always Made My Day
You Guided And Lifted My Spirits
Every time You Respond To Me
Now, We Won't Be Seeing Each Other Anymore
That Turn My Life Back To The Old Days
The Only Things I Can Say To You Is Thank You
Thank You For Existing In My Life
Thank You For The Bright Day You Made For Me
The Best Wish Is Thank You For Everything
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dramaartwriting Vice Captain
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