King Geek
Not the suicidal kind, just a sort of loathing. If I was someone else, locked in a room with me for two hours, I'd pull my intestines out and strangle me with it. Not me the one who would be me, the one who is me. I'm mean, I hold myself higher than others, I'm vain...I've been told I look older than I look. Not because I'm mature, because I'm fat and tall and greasy. I feel older than I am, too. My shoulders and back ache, my eyes feel strained, and I can't even run for a few yards. I've had two girlfriends in my stupid little life. I've only met one face-to-face, and I discovered yesterday that she only said yes out of her inability to be mean to anyone ever. Would've been happier if she just hadn't said yes, because she broke up with me three days later for someone who's thinner, plays football, and plays the same instrument as me, but better. I can't really think of a reason anyone would like me. King Geek isn't just a funny little username, that's what I am-the biggest nerd in all of the southern United States.
Don't beat yourself up too hard. Lots of guys go though things like this. Being tall is a great thing, so don't worry about that. Greasey... just take a shower before school, make sure to wash your hair good and get some oil absorbing sheets (little blue rubbery squares) from CVS or wal-mart, they will help to control the oil on your face. Also, make sure to wear clean clothes and deodorant every day. (you may already do these and if so you may want to see if it is possible to take showers after gym or if you sweat a lot get the clinical strength antipersprant).
As for being overweight... I could write books on all the advice I have gotten over the years for how I'm supposed to loose weight. BUT one thing I have found out is that it is possible to have a thyroid condition that can cause you to gain weight and can make it harder to loose extra weight. Talk to your doctor and ask them to check you for hypothyroidism. Most of the time people think something like that (dealing with hormones) is a girl thing, but it can effect guys too.
Right... Also, diet is important. Since you are still a kid and need nutrients don't just not eat... eat whenever you are hungry... just eat smaller portions at a time. (like instead of 3 big meals just have 4 or 5 small meals all day). And be careful of what you eat. Don't have anything that is greasy/deep fried. Go for baked or sauteed things. Don't eat things out of vending machines... all of that is nothing but sugar and fat (unless you get nuts in like a trail mix... but even then don't have more than 1 serving because the salt/sodium can still be a lot.) Have more veggies for lunch and dinner, and limit pasta, bread, and other grains like rice. All of that turns into sugar while being digested.
Also... running isn't just something you can do. I know people who weigh 300 lbs who can run a mile while other people who weigh 130lbs cannot even run 1/10 of a mile with out being winded. You have to start out small. Start jogging... jog until you have to stop jogging... but DON'T STOP MOVING keep walking... as soon as you feel like you can jog again... go for as long as you can again and keep repeating like that. Don't full speed it... that will only cause you to hurt more later. And just every day try to jog just a little farther than before... even if its 5 steps farther at a time. You just have to build up your endurance.
I've been there before... I'm still struggling.
as far as holding yourself higher than others and being vain... thats just something that like everything else you will have to work at too. You should always have a healthy self esteem and know that as long as you try your best you have succeeded. But what most people don't realize is that you cannot go around saying "i am the best" and not put any effort into it. basically... you have to put your money where your mouth is... and if you don't succeed be honorable and accept it for what it is and improve... let wanting to be the best drive you to do your best.
I hope this helps.
love always,
Tama
Reply
