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Changes: Please tell me what you think

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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:57 pm

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Life changes, I know more than anybody. But this still doesn't make it any easier to accept. In a way it seems almost harder. There is no way to stop it. these changes will come. No matter what happens, no matter what you do. All promises can do for it is leave broken hearts and shattered trust.
And left with all these troubles, all these pieces to put back together, I stand alone, heartbroken, trustless, hopeless.

so what do you think?
please comment.
Thank you

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:21 pm

I like it a lot. 3nodding
Maybe a bit cliche, but I like how you moved into how you know life changes, and how its hard to accept. I like the last line, but I think there could be more. As is, it's good, but I think it coulds be better.

Drakansa

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Nesce
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:49 pm

I agree with Drakansa, in that it could be more. You have a few typos; a good way to get rid of them is to write everything in Word and spell check it. While word doesn't pick up homonyms and whatnot, it does catch the errors you didn't mean to have, and it makes the format of the story seem nicer. I've read your other piece, and it seems to me that you write out short ideas, but don't expand on them. The themes you have are really good, and I think you should try to lengthen yours pieces or expand on your ideas.

Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:55 pm

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