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 Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:07 am
I love you, I being me
Love being this lust I feel for you
Love being this bitter sweet feeling i have for you.
Love being this undiying feeling of joy i feel hearing your name.
Love, the flight of my heart to your's just as i hear your voice.
Love that is only true for you
You being you Rhia.
(i' am not the best at love poems)
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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 12:30 pm
The poem has good content. I don't think it flows right. It might when you read it, but I couldn't feel its rythym. You may want to try not to use "being" so much. It doesn't need to be used as much. Try to give your poem a bit more flavor by looking for other words that you can express yourself with. Go to http://www.rhymezone.com/ for synanyms. I totally think I spelled that wrong. Sorry.
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:18 am
smile It was nice. She is a very lucky girl. Even it wasn't the best, it is the thought that counts.
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:44 pm
The rhythm was a bit awkward, but the content definately made up for it. It was very sweet!
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:36 am
thank you all, I will check that link sometime. Everyone needs help making everything fit sometimes, right?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:39 am
Yeah. I use that site all the time to find rhymes. It's really helpful for me. I think your poem has a good start and can really go places because the content is good.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:44 am
Merenwen99 Yeah. I use that site all the time to find rhymes. It's really helpful for me. I think your poem has a good start and can really go places because the content is good. Have you read my other work? I could use a few more good pointers like the one you make.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:46 am
I think I might have seen one or two things. I'll keep my eye out.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:52 am
thank you, your words make just yet make me a better writer. Or a writer at all that is...
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