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 Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:16 am
The soft coming of tears wash over my cheeks.
My eyes burned as her feet gently walked away.
You've broken this heart, you destroied this joy.
My knees gently gaveway, as i fall to my knees the tears flowing freely
I beg in vain for your return to this heart.
Even as your words softly cut my heart, i still long for you in love.
You walk away over my heart, my love, like nothing more then drit...
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Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:35 am
Sad poem
The blades sweet kiss sliced my very being.
The chains held my in place, i jerked and reached out, but could never break free.
The next kiss across my chest over my heart.
I scearmed my soul in vain, I thruw my body, the chains held tight.
The blades next kiss sliced away my left ear.
As I scearmed the blood warmed my bare skin.
The holder of the blade sliced away my foot.
I scearmed again in vain, my veiw faded, I felt the icy cold of death growing in my body.
The blade's sweet kiss took away my life, like your words took away my love.
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Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:46 am
My life, my ashes
As i softly hold you
my soul is free, my heart is open.
As you softly speak
"you are the only one for me"
I gently kiss your crisom red lips
then my heart turns, for i know what it is i must do.
I softly hold your body of lust away
"Who is mike? his number was on your phone eight times."
her eyes soften, she smiles softly
"He is just a friend, he helps me with work"
My heart shinks, my soul is clouded.
"I've heard that you two have ben more then friend behind closed doors..."
As i speak i see the heart break in her eyes, she begins to weep as she grabs me tightly and hids her face in my chest.
"I was drunk, he used me...."
"Drunk doesn't mean you can't say no or stop"
"it was nothing you can cheat on me all you want just don't make me leave the warm of your love"
I jerked her body from mine and walked away, my heart in ashes from the flame of love we once had....
(it may suck but i' am too heart broken to care right now...)
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:07 am
I like the last one the best. The other two are good too. The second one seems to need more. If your purpose was to be vague, keep it exactly as it is. But, if that wasn't what you were aiming at, you may want to add more details. Why is the person there? What is going on? There are so many questions you can ask about that poem. The first one is also pretty good. I like it. Keep up the good work.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:13 am
thank you these are poems i wrote went i was jsut sad.. so i don't like fixing them well cuz... they are my sorrow..
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:20 am
I can understand that. My Grandpa has been in the hospital/nursing home since July. It's really tough on me and I wrote a poem about it. Even if someone told me to change it, I'd probably tell them to get lost because it meant so much to me exactly how it was written.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:53 am
Yeah i understand that.. I've always ben hard on my poems tho.. they are always in re-write... but these... these are me I won't chance them... Read angel of death.. I' am pretty sure you would like that out or my tears are blood.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:52 am
They are very good. And I wouldn't change them. It is very brave of you to post these that seem show your hurt the most. I guess it is better to tell, but your works reminded me of my own wounds. My heart has felt those slices and bleed for it. . . And reading these, it bleeds for you. I do hope you will or have recover from it.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:58 am
MelanthaB They are very good. And I wouldn't change them. It is very brave of you to post these that seem show your hurt the most. I guess it is better to tell, but your works reminded me of my own wounds. My heart has felt those slices and bleed for it. . . And reading these, it bleeds for you. I do hope you will or have recover from it. Thank you for your words... yes i still hurt and well I' am just a hopeless remotic. I' am fine tho.. thank you
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:44 am
they're wonderful... I liked the last two best... god I wish I could write like you...
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:11 pm
Kesna they're wonderful... I liked the last two best... god I wish I could write like you... wow I havn't seen these ones in some time you must have looked for them.. I write my feelings and my soul, I can tell you how but I cannot ensure you can. (Pm me if you wish)
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