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Herr Till Lindemann Captain
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 Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 12:08 am
Ein Herr über Herren is a short story by Till Lindemann for a book called "Das Unerfreuliche zuerst - Herrengeschichten" or 'The sad news first - Stories of men'. Till wrote two stories for this, which they are really like really long poems.
This is the first about a man who's evening doesn't go as planned.
Translation by Kettenhund from the Rosenrot forums.
On the television was a boxing game
I had a bet going
made it good for myself
the couch crinkled and the cat rubbed itself a big
glass of milk
sandwiches and cigarettes
the good old Man-blanket for exhausted men
and so
the first round had begun
The two of them boxing cautiously
My man had his guard too far down
And collected a few straight lefts
Loud I yelled and the cat was frightened
Clawed itself onto my thigh
I screamed and gave her a little kick
It rang
Quickly the sound off
wrong button
really loud
I turned off and remained lying down
The cat came back
The bell also for very long
started coughing
- I know that you are there -
Swearing I rolled myself out of the blanket looked for my
socks
turned the television on again
She is ovulating four days not a buzz from her and now of
all times
stumbled
over the cat
can take that right with her then damn beast
It had rained
She looked like thaw weather walked past me without greeting into
the bathroom
Dump nose contents into toilet paper dry the hair
piss
exerted herself drying the shoelaces with the towel
her backside towards me
her a** one could frame
I lay under the blanket again decided on the
game fourth round
was ongoing
the a** could wait
My man had a open eyebrow and even otherwise he was
anything else but in good
shape tottered stiff as a flagpole visited
the ropes as if he wanted
to get to know the monkeys in the first row clung
to his opponent leaned
himself on him like a drunk dachshund on a table leg
and so I had missed a whole lot
She stood in the room and howled two rounds
my money was bleeding out now every round went in the
other corner
the a** crossed my mind
I tapped on the spot next to me where the cushion had been
lying earlier
made a inviting head movement
The sofa made dust there was a black-brown sphere and
she sat down
Blew her nose a lot in my towel
Now came the wounded flesh out of the corner
a desperate combination but he hit with a powerful
right
Buy yourself crutches I roared the referee counted I
was in the mood again
what of me then
barely had I asked before she lay on me and puked this
stuttering into my
ears spilled her snot on me
whimpered my face full and was still very
wet
I tried to pull the good blanket between me and her to
stay dry
saw nothing more
She told me everything and I caressed her head
could then somehow
press it down on my shoulder and had clear view again
The bell before the ninth (round)
My boxer’s condition was at the end and his
blood
it was everywhere on him and on the other guy on the
ring and on the referee
the ropes looked like crime scene tape and I was
slowly getting wet
the blanket cling
she talked
both of them in a conflict now
I couldn’t move anymore let her lie on me
Didn’t want to be tactless
The cigarette was finished wanted to throw it in the milk glass
but didn’t hit it
could not see where it landed either
somewhere behind the table
her legs in the way the hall screamed
The opponent had countered a helpless attack
a clean
uppercut placed exactly on the chin
my ******** the game was canceled
I threw her from me and used the milk to put out the
smoldering fire in the carpet
s**t I yelled
she whined
yes it hurts
But we can make another one I grumbled and
bethought what I
could sell
Tomorrow was payday
(If some things seem weird it's because he has written it like that. )
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 8:51 pm
Wow....
... Till owned a cat.
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