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 Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:24 pm
So, I was wondering.
I don't normally write sad posts dealing with something like suicide (murder yes, suicide no). Actually, I've only ever written one. I wanted to gauge how good or bad it was and I wanted to ask ya'll what was your saddest post?
Care to share? :3
Sadness is always a weird emotion to try and get across for me. The others, I think I can get just fine, but sadness is a weird one cause it's always mixed up with other emotions. Any tips on writing for that emotion?
Are there any emotions that ya'll have a problem writing for or don't feel like ya'll do a good job writing for? Any tips to give or that you've found for writing for those emotions?
Paste in your post or post snippet :3 I'm all up for improving my writing abilities and getting feedback on both my writing and the characters that I play.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:28 pm
 NPC Nelson
Fraternity Treasurer &
Ricky's Personal Secretary
Aka: Neal, Neil, Neel, Nel, Neill, Neale, Neo, or Natan
------------------------------------------------------ ooc: play this while you readNelson sighed upon seeing Damien fall asleep on the couch and had to smirk with what the blond girl was doing to him. Still, he was one of the people he was suppose to be watching. He usually wouldn't be able to leave until he made sure that the other boys had left unless Ricky came over here himself, which he was almost hoping for. He noticed Crimson leave and Alex was on decent enough behavior. He just couldn't stay here anymore. It upset him too much.
It'd only be a little while longer before he could just go back to his room. Alcohol and hurt feelings don't go together. Or maybe that it's they go too well together. He managed to stay for a few more minutes before he just couldn't take it anymore.
His short walk back to the Fraternity House was an uneventful one. If anything, he just didn't want to be seen anymore. While in the shower, he couldn't count the amount of times he sighed or the amount of times that he glanced to the mirror to see how pathetic he looked. He'd been able to keep up his cold b*tch look until he got to his room and had the door closed and locked behind him. Now his emotions were just getting to him and he turned way from his reflection to turn off the shower and get ready for bed.
His sleep wasn't any better.
It was now halfway into the semester and Nelson couldn't take it anymore. Despite knowing that it was pretty much Ricky's duty to be married to Bridgette, it didn't make it hurt any less. He'd woken up and felt like he couldn't even make it through the rest of the year knowing what was at the end of it. He'd worked hard all throughout college and had managed to maintain a straight 4.0 GPA - even with his soft cream colored pillow catching his tears or his fists almost every night. But now... It just hurt. So many things felt too... finalized.
That he wasn't going to get Ricky.
That Ricky and Bridgette were going to marry.
That he'd be the only one this upset and depressed about it.
He didn't count Bridgette's feelings about the situation even though he knew what she wanted to do most because he knew that Ricky would take care of that for her so that she could still fulfill her dream. He was that kind of guy to take so many burdens off of other people and take them onto himself. Nelson didn't think that Bridgette would understand that. Even if she refused, Ricky would slowly starting taking the responsibilities from her because he'd want to make her happy. If that meant that she was happiest dancing her little heart out, then Ricky would let her.
But where did that leave Nelson in all of this?
Honestly... he didn't see himself anywhere in the picture. Not even in the background as a measly little accountant watching from afar. Both companies had their own people and seemed to only hire from a certain pool of people. Even if he was qualified, there was no way for him to get in other than Ricky. Nelson couldn't stand just being on the side though. He wanted to be in the front, even if it was only to be shoved over a desk and f*cked senseless Ricky had to acknowledge him even for that small amount of time. But since that wasn't going to happen... what was he going to do?
Those thoughts lead to where he currently was. With a rope around his neck and standing on a chair next to his desk. It was the middle of the night, so who would bother walking in? Certainly not anyone that cared. Not Crimson, not Damien, not Jackson.... not Ricky. So he stepped and the chair fell over with a quiet thud on the soft floor. It was only after he was hanging there that he realized that he hadn't made his perch nearly high enough to snap his neck. But suffocating was ok too he guessed. While he fought himself to keep his fighter's instincts from saving himself, he thought back again to what lead him to this decision. What exactly had started the chain of self-destructive thought to lead him to biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed and wringing his hands together so hard they hurt – to keep himself from saving himself? Was it that he'd finally found something – someone - worth fighting for only to find out that he couldn't fight for them at all? Was it that he didn't want Bridge to be happy in his place? Was it that he didn't want to be alone anymore?
Things were getting hazy and he felt like he was crying. He was always one of those people that couldn't seem to cry and breath at the same time, like it took too much effort to do just one so his body just couldn't possibly do them simultaneously. Funny that was. He compared this feeling to the overall feeling of the first time he found out that Ricky and Bridgette would be getting married. This suffocating feeling... this feeling of substantial loss in a way that was detrimental to one's life... they felt the same. He remembered the way that his chest constricted in pain that night, the way that his eyes burned, how wet his pillow had become, how constricted his throat felt and how much it hurt – oh wait, that last one was just now.
His legs were starting to kick around now. He was still fighting it. His hands were bleeding from digging his nails into himself though he hadn't even known that he was doing it. He remembered reading on the internet once that when you suffocate, if you last long enough you'll loose consciousness. For a while your body will simply swing in silence. A quiet pendulum as you fight yourself to save your life. That you might still be able to think somewhere in your mind despite the lack of oxygen and the tight feeling in your chest that throbs somewhere you're not sure of anymore. You feel kind of dissociated from yourself.
And if truly no one comes, and you last long enough, that you'll swing quietly into death. Not a sound will be uttered. Not a tear for your departure. And your soul and your body will have this quietness to disappear into the night without a single cry. Even as the tears still rolled down Nelson's face and the blood from his hands hit the cream carpet on the floor, everything was silent and nothing made a sound. Not even when he was still swinging and slowing gently to an eventual stop. His heart wasn't pounding anymore, his tears weren't falling anymore, and he wasn't on this plane anymore.
Silence would encompass him until the morning when Ricky would be looking for him to speak to him about the accounts from yesterday.
Come morning, he noticed the tears on his pillow and the way that his chest had constricted during the night as he cried. He may have died in his sleep, but awake, it didn't make a bit of difference in what was going on with the world now. Nothing had changed and Nelson turned to weep into his pillow with the silence of the room borrowing into his ears. ------------------------------------------------------------ I gotta do what I gotta do. And sometimes, I don't like doin' it.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's my one sad post. It was interesting the write, but I'd like to know how I did. Feedback?
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ScribbleNoodle Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:13 pm
It was good. So I thought.
But there is also different kinds of sadness, if you know what I mean.
Just like different shades of the same color.
So like in the post you used, I would have added the distance thing your character was obviously feeling. Like how life/the world turned into a whirl of gray since he had found out about the engagement. Stuff like that.
As for me having a problem portraying a emotion? I don't have a clue. Or at least nothing I could think of right now.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:05 pm
Im ashamed to say this but you have touched this grizzled old cowboys heart crying the piece was wonderfull.... How Ya Like Them Apples You Dirty Meat-sacks?? And By Apples I Mean BULLETS! IN YOU'RE FACE!
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:26 pm
ScribbleNoodle It was good. So I thought.
But there is also different kinds of sadness, if you know what I mean.
Just like different shades of the same color.
So like in the post you used, I would have added the distance thing your character was obviously feeling. Like how life/the world turned into a whirl of gray since he had found out about the engagement. Stuff like that.
As for me having a problem portraying a emotion? I don't have a clue. Or at least nothing I could think of right now.
Thank you!
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:28 pm
shinchiro_the_demon3 Im ashamed to say this but you have touched this grizzled old cowboys heart crying the piece was wonderfull.... How Ya Like Them Apples You Dirty Meat-sacks?? And By Apples I Mean BULLETS! IN YOU'RE FACE!
Did you listen to the music too? How well did you think it fit? I tend to write my best listening to music (usually without words).
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ScribbleNoodle Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:32 pm
Haiuchi Suyaso ScribbleNoodle It was good. So I thought.
But there is also different kinds of sadness, if you know what I mean.
Just like different shades of the same color.
So like in the post you used, I would have added the distance thing your character was obviously feeling. Like how life/the world turned into a whirl of gray since he had found out about the engagement. Stuff like that.
As for me having a problem portraying a emotion? I don't have a clue. Or at least nothing I could think of right now.
Thank you!
To each their own.
And your welcome.
I use the colors more so, even in real life. I can't directly tell anyone they make me depressed or what ever. Or what I'm actually feeling without saying it in a color.
^^
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:34 pm
omg I WOVES IT! 4laugh . It's very sad but cute at the same time (not to mention I love the picutre you put with it). It's good to be able to write in different ways.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:39 pm
ScribbleNoodle Haiuchi Suyaso ScribbleNoodle It was good. So I thought.
But there is also different kinds of sadness, if you know what I mean.
Just like different shades of the same color.
So like in the post you used, I would have added the distance thing your character was obviously feeling. Like how life/the world turned into a whirl of gray since he had found out about the engagement. Stuff like that.
As for me having a problem portraying a emotion? I don't have a clue. Or at least nothing I could think of right now.
Thank you!
To each their own.
And your welcome.
I use the colors more so, even in real life. I can't directly tell anyone they make me depressed or what ever. Or what I'm actually feeling without saying it in a color.
^^
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:40 pm
Zombie-Extrakt omg I WOVES IT! 4laugh . It's very sad but cute at the same time (not to mention I love the picutre you put with it). It's good to be able to write in different ways.
I try! D: I'm not actually a writer, I'm just an artist that rps a lot xD; But I try!
And I'm glad you like the picca. Nelson is cute >w<
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:42 pm
I did listen to the music but i really don't like that type... it goes well with the post but im more of a screamo until my ears pop kind of person... that or just whatever's on the radio >.>
You should try Scream By avenged sevenfold D:
tis... Le Creepy~..
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:45 pm
shinchiro_the_demon3 I did listen to the music but i really don't like that type... it goes well with the post but im more of a screamo until my ears pop kind of person... that or just whatever's on the radio >.> You should try Scream By avenged sevenfold D: tis... Le Creepy~.. xD I tend to like weird stuff apparently haha. I'm more of an ambient downtempo, chill kinda guy. Sometimes I'll listen to hiphop or pop or something, but it's usually just individual songs that I like, not the genre. Ok : o I'll give it a look-see biggrin
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A Masochists Wet Dream Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 12:49 pm
Ohohohoho~ I could make you all cry.
Without feeling a bit of sadness myself.
._. I'm horrible like that.
I write about the most horrible things, yet at the end of it I'm like 'Meh.'
It's sexy bby ;D
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:38 pm
Haiuchi Suyaso shinchiro_the_demon3 I did listen to the music but i really don't like that type... it goes well with the post but im more of a screamo until my ears pop kind of person... that or just whatever's on the radio >.> You should try Scream By avenged sevenfold D: tis... Le Creepy~.. xD I tend to like weird stuff apparently haha. I'm more of an ambient downtempo, chill kinda guy. Sometimes I'll listen to hiphop or pop or something, but it's usually just individual songs that I like, not the genre. Ok : o I'll give it a look-see biggrin I actually meant to say A little Piece Of Heaven By Avenged Sevenfold >.> the music video is just the creepiest... but the words are Le ~ Creepy too...
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