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 Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 2:23 pm
I saw this topic somewhere at one time or another and I thought it would be a good idea to have here. If this is in the wrong area I apologize in advance.
This is a place to post character profiles for others to offer feedback, comments and suggestions to help you improve your RP characters.
They can be for any settings, universes, books etc. So you might want to include something about the RP they are in, or even a sample post from that RP, but there is no required format for these profiles. Any one can critique.
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 2:25 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 4:25 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:40 pm
Although I've only skimmed what .e.v.e.--Rz0 said, so far I have to agree. Even though I've so far, only used one OC ever, I was sure I stayed away from all the cliche thingy that people typically use to make their charcter look "cool" or "mysterious". After all, when you're in an RP that has twenty people with green and/or purple eyes and random wings and mutantion, it can get pretty annoying.
Eh....maybe I should post my character's profile here later, just to see what everyone else thinks about it... sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:24 pm
Yeah, here's my charcter for the X-men Evolution Guild thingy-timeline. It might be a bit confusing for those who aren't familer with that, but comments, crisicism *twitch* and overall "WTF's" are welcome. And now, my bio:
Full Name: Victoria Dogwood
Also Known As: "Sonic"
Age: 17
Height: 5ft 4in
Weight: 130
Hair: Dark brown, long
Eyes: Dark bown
Skin: Medium brown
Gender: Female
Nationality: African American/Caucasian
POWERS/ATTRIBUTES
Key:
0 = Useless or Not Applicable
1 = Sub-standard
2 = Inferior to average
3 = Below average ability
4 = Average ability
5 = Average peak ability
6 = Exceeding average peak
7 = Unnaturally gifted or apt
8 = Amazingly gifted
9 = Extreme peak of ability
10 = Perfect or infinite
Agility: 6
Constitution: 5
Strength: 5
Charisma: 6
Dexterity: 6
Description of Mutant Power: Sound Manipulation: Sonic can manipulate the volume of any sound within earshot. This power can be used to perform a variety of power stunts: increase a noise's volume to dangerous levels (think concussion blast), decrease a noise's volume in order to mute it, Sonic is also resistant to loud noises.
Source of Mutant Power: Randon Genetic Mutation
Pros: Any sound within earshot can be manipulated into a potentially harmful sonic boom or muted so that a warning sound (lets say maybe an oncoming train) cannot be heard.
Cons: Without any sound within earshot to manipulate, Sonic is rendered nearly helpless in battle.
Level of Mutant Power's Effect (1-5): 3, Powers can pose a threat, but can be possibly be blocked by an energy shield or protective armor.
Level of Control over Power (1-5): 4, Most times she can control her power, but occasionally outbursts happen under extreme stress or agitation. Over the past year or so, she has developed a greater control over her powers, although with the stress of being a Senior, accidents do happen.
Willingness to use Powers (1-5): 4, Will use powers when it is necessary in battle or even everyday if needed to shut someone up.
Effect Powers have on Lifestyle: 3, hardly none unless you count the whole parents-hate-me-because-I'm-mutant-thing.
HISTORY
Family:
William Dogwood (Father, human)
Mary James-Dogwood (Mother, human)
Age 0: Victoria grew up and was born in Washington D.C. as the only child of very controlling and job loving parents. Victoria?s parents, William and Mary were both high-profile lawyers who believed that their image meant everything. They say often that they loved her, but she knew in reality that she was only #1 after their careers.
Age 1-12: Practically since she was born and throughout most of the rest of her life, she was a "puppet" in her parents? hands. They made all of her decisions for her and even told her how to act, how to dress and everything in between. She was known only as, "Mr. and Mrs. Dogwood?s daughter" and never as her own person.
Age 13-14: When puberty hit, Victoria discovered her mutant ability to manipulate sound waves. Though she was excited about her "gift" she kept it a secret from her parent, for she knew they fought for segregation of mutants. She practiced regularly in her bedroom with her stereo when her parent weren?t home and was soon able to control her "gift" nearly to a T.
Age 15: About month before her sixteenth birthday, Victoria made the decision to stand up to her parents and fight for her own future. Victoria confronted her parents and a huge argument then followed. At some point in all of the arguing, Victoria's lose control and her mutant power exploded into a sound blast that savagely shook the house. Hesitantly she told her parents that she was a mutant and they, in turn, told her that that everything would be OK.
Age 16: Although Mr. and Mrs. Dogwood said they "loved and accepted" their daughter as a mutant, in reality they were more worried that their clean cut image would go down the drain if the media found out that their daughter was a mutant. To safe their hard earned reputation, they contacted a friend of a friend named Ororo Munroe who was to take Victoria back to Xavier?s Institute for Higher Learning for "her own good". Figuring that it was better then living with bigots for parents, she quickly accepted the offer.
She was surprised when "Ororo" took her to a ramshackle house that was the Institute that she had seen pictures of earlier. Victoria was surprised yet again when "Ororo" turned out to be the shape shifter named Mystique who wanted to recruit Victoria to the Brotherhood. Mystique explained that with the Brotherhood she could use her powers openly and fight for mutant freedom. Knowing that she had a chance to prove her parents wrong doing, she gleefully accepted and is now considered a "Fledging" among the Brotherhood.
Age 17: In the past year, since the Forge episode, she has become more confortable in her own skin, although her dark and cynical outlook on life still remains. Much to her displeasure, she is currently a Senior at Xavier's Instutute. Weather it's all for the better or for the worse, she don't know yet...
AFFILIATIONS: Brotherhood
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:01 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 10:02 pm
Quote: She has no last name because she can't remember it, not hat she does not have one. What she knows is irrelevant. Character profiles are not in character, and shouldn't be treated as such. You need to give all information on your character in his or her profile. That's the point of a character's profile. Quote: Give me a break. I LIKE furries. Besides I have other profiles that I used way before I had even heard of Inuyasha. Liking something is all well and good, but it's still immensely cliche. Quote: It's for a plot twist later, saying what it is would give away too much, but it an important part of her wardrobe and can not be left out of the description. Plot twists are all well and good, but if you're going to create a profile for that character, you don't get the luxury of holding back on information. Character profiles are made for the purpose of giving information on said character. When you withhold that information, the profile is pointless. Quote: Unless you can make an instant scan of a person and know what product each and every artical of clothing and jewelry is made of, you would have no idea what some of the stuff is made from. not scanning her, my character is. These two things are not one in the same. Just because I know something, does not mean me character will. Therefore, giving me information on this does not mean that my character knows. In fact, if I were running an RP and you attempted to join it, I would outright reject you until you did give me this information. Why? Because I need to know whether or not your character is acceptable. Then don't ask for criticism on something. If you're just going to reply with, "So what?" then don't bother, you're just wasting my time, and everyone else's. Quote: Did I say that? No. If you read further you will find information on each of the items. Humans aren't given foresight. Keep your information in one place, or it's a jumbled mass. Obviously, no, I wouldn't know at this point, because you didn't say anything about it. You can't have information all over the place and expect people to suddenly know about it as they're reading your character. Quote: Once again I never said that. You see a person in a dark long sleeved shirt, could you tell if they had a scar on their elbow or a birth mark above their bellybutton? You missed my point entirely. I was referring to your jumbled mess of a sentence, not to its content. Quote: So what? I like the mystery. So what? You asked me to critique it. Again, don't waste my time if all you're going to do is brush me off with a "so what?" I don't much enjoy putting an hour into a critique, only to have it shoved off with a, "that's nice." Quote: I never said she knew a lot about it. I probably should have said... You DIDN'T say she knew nothing about it, either. What you "probably should have said" should have been said. Quote: I never said she was a master with a sword, or even great only good. Good= able to fight an animal, possably win with out too much damage. Against a person she could defend herself, possibly. Win not likely. That would be "mediocre with a sword." Someone that's good with a sword, quite obviously, is better than other people with it, and could easily do away with them. Your wording is not a scapegoat. Quote: Did you even read the Other things of note section? Obviously not at that point. Did you even consider grouping all information together so this entire character sheet doesn't come off as incoherent rambling? Quote: Never said they never-age. Only that it appears that way. Again, this is a character sheet. GIVE SOME USEFUL INFORMATION. What you say or don't say is said. If you say they appear not to age, a person could assume that they DON'T and be right. Why? Because you never said anything to the contrary, and it's too late to say anything once they've read it. Quote: I make mistakes, I'm human. Re-read what you write and you'll make less. Quote: She is not flawless if you read the Other things of note at the bottem. No, but she's pretty damn close to it, and that's all that matters. Adding a minor blemish to an otherwise gorgeous face doesn't make that face ugly; it's still gorgeous. Quote: Unknown because she has no idea what it is. She will figure it out during the Rp. If she knew what it was she would know about her past. It isn't about what she knows; it's about what you know. Is your line of fantasy and reality completely blurred together? Quote: It has no name she knows of. What would you call it? Again, what she knows and doesn't know is irrelevant. This isn't my character, and I won't call it anything. If you don't see how she's overpowered, you're completely blind to the concept of overpowering to begin with.
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 10:03 pm
Oniongirl, if you want me to critique your character, I will tomorrow evening. Just ask and I will.
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 1:58 pm
Oh you don't have to if you don't want to...I just posted it for the sake of posting it...or someone else can comment it doesn't really matter to me.
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 2:40 pm
I don't mind. I just don't want to critique it if you're unwilling to have it critiqued.
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:43 pm
Well in that case, go ahead and critique it as you see fit.
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:56 am
Well i guess i'll put here my only OC for critique XD I've never really done this before for her so I'll use Auzure's "sheet" Please bare with me XD First I'll Explain the BG History (I know this has nothing to do with any RPG's but since this is the main character of my comic. but since she is a warrior/witch i use her for this kind of RPG's) BG Story (For my Comic): (This is for my original comic but everytime i use this character on an RPG i try to find a situation not so far from this) The story takes place in France. In an Institute which no one knows the name, so everyone calls it Fantasia. ITs an institute where only special kids can go. It would see like a normal highschool but what happens inside is different, students take BLack MAgic classes instead of Physics, Use of Sword and Archery instead of Sports. Students there are trained for something that might happen in the future, a fight between monsters and Ex students of Fantasia who had joined the dark side (XD couldnt find another way of explain this sorry) This could happen in a near future or very far away, yet students of the school protect common people from strange things...but this common people are afraid of them..because the hav "unnatural" powers. At the last years of school the have to choose a specific job (Summoner, Black Wisard, Warrior, etc...) and when they choose this they are given a tiny pearl which they have to carry everywhere they go cause without that the will not be able to take out theyr weapons nor transform (not really transform but change into battle costumes..yeah you cna kill me for this XD) Name: Mei Genova Metallium (She prefares nobody knows her last names. I'll explain this later XD) Description & Appearance: Mei's physical apearence is not that complicated, she has light brown gair, long but she always uses it on a ponytail, on her hair she weares a buterfly shaped pin in which she carries her pearl for transformation. She has green eyes. Her complexion is not that amazing, she is an average girl, 1.60m high and 50 kg of weight, she is not that good looking but she feels shes ugly and that nobody likes her. What she wears for school is nothing more than the school uniform, long blue skirt, just below the knees and regular shirt with a blue tie. Ok i dunno how to describe her battle costume ^^U so I'll just leave a drawing ._. HereWhen she transforms the pear that was in her hair goes into the belt of the skirt. Personality: She is hyperactive, but its a really good friend, she is really naive and doesnt understand many things. She gets mad realy fast and because of her warrior sprit she wants to go directly into battle History: Mei's Parents also studied in this Institue, her mother being a transfer student from Grece. Her mother was the best witch at the institute and her father being the best warrior of their genetation. HEr parents met at France's institute and wasnt love at first sight kinda love, they were somewhat of rivals and ended up marrying each other. Mei doesnt want anyone to know her last names because her parents are so well known she fears teachers would expect more of her than she really can, she doesnt want to let down her parents. Thats why shes very quiet when speaking about her family and past. Profession Class: Mei is a Warrior, her main weapon is a medieval sword which had been passed through generations of her father's side O.o ok..I think this is all XD Hope you enjoy ._.
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:17 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:40 pm
Isn't that kind of page stretching
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 7:58 am
Full Name: Jesse Dachwood
Birthdate: July 8th, 1991
Age: 15
Year: 5th
Family: Being muggle-born he lives with his mother (Joy Dachwood) and his father (Willium Dachwood) his father majors in the technical aspects of artificial intellegence and spends most of his day in the basement floor labrotory, His mother however enjoys their vast wealth and simply loafs over a bottle of spanish wine. He has two brothers (11 and 17) Johnothan Dachwood (17) enjoys sport hunting and practicing various outdoor sports, Daniel Dachwood (11) is snobby,cranky, and spends his time willfully locked in his room reading from the brilliant library in the housed 2nd floor.
Patronus Form:Eagle
Nationality: Dutch
Race: Wizard
Special Ability: kemogouri (willfully can see into the future but can only see a few minutes ahead)
Blood Heritage: muggle-born
Wand: an eleven inch unicorn-hair,yew, wand (right)
Basic Appearance:
Eye color: lush green
Hair color and style: ear-length brown hair that partially covers over one eye.
Build: rather tall, but broad
Skin tone: tan, thick skin
Basic Personality: very high-spirited and fun. His philosophy on life is Karma (what goes around comes around) he will remain loyal to his friends as long as they do the same. somewhat brave and loves the adrenaline (sp?) rush of making mischeif but is overall a 'good kid' he usually hides his feelings with sarcasm and fake joy, he is very easy to get along with and become close friends with...greet him in the hallway he likes that kind of stuff =)
Pets: black cat (moonlight)
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