In light of what's been happening, I think I might finally have to walk away from this site.
Not permanently, mind you, but for a time.
This proud cash cow and lurker has had it.
Rules should be stated and those in power shouldn't abuse it.
What wasn't wrong before, what didn't harm others...
That suddenly shouldn't be made wrong.
Those of you who lurk the GCD along with me should know what I'm nodding to.
But this issue has stretched far to much for me.
Something has happened at home that is mirroring this.
I cannot go into details, I love you all but I cannot push this burden on you.
It cannot leave the house.
It is because of this that I won't be on very much, if at all.
But there is another reason, and it's not just Gaia I'm walking away from.
When I should have been studying for my Midterms, I was here and on GPX.
Clicking away and watching the precious hours go by.
I put clicking pokemon and lurking over my studies.
And I have paid dearly for it.
No, my Father hasn't found out about my grades yet.
But he will.
An F in Math, and a D in Chem.
I'm ashamed of myself.
Math is my weakest class, but Chem is one of my strongest.
I should not have gotten those grades.
I should have gotten higher.
To add insult to injury, my teacher gave me back the wrong scantron and had to regrade my exam.
I when from a 60 to a 51 in a heart beat.
I do not understand how a 68 on the MC transletes to a 40.5.
It is something she would not explain to me.
As for Chem, I should have known those problems.
I should have known what to do.
But I sat there, feeling like an idiot because I couldn't remember jack s**t.
I walked away from that mid term with a 69.
Something that just utterly shames my high average in that class.
I don't really care what my other exam grades are, these two are proof enough to me.
I'm a failure, there's nothing else to it.
Rage and sadness are all I've felt since the new year.
I've only pretended to be happy, I've made myself a mime.
Mine has been a life of shame.
Depression, yes- you could stay I've fallen into it.
You could say my whole damn family has fallen into it.
We've fallen and we cannot get out.
Everyone is kicking at us and most are not even realizing it.
But I wrote this not to depress you, that was not my intention.
I have found a tutor and will be seeing her as soon as I possibly can.
I have found "peace" so to speak in reading books.
And I will be returning, rest assured.
This is not good bye.
This is a hiatus.
I'll be on tonight and tomorrow, but come the weekend I shallt be here.
I want you all to know that you have helped de-stress me.
But I cannot be on a site that is reminding me of my current troubles.
Until the sun has risen, I shall sleep.
Not permanently, mind you, but for a time.
This proud cash cow and lurker has had it.
Rules should be stated and those in power shouldn't abuse it.
What wasn't wrong before, what didn't harm others...
That suddenly shouldn't be made wrong.
Those of you who lurk the GCD along with me should know what I'm nodding to.
But this issue has stretched far to much for me.
Something has happened at home that is mirroring this.
I cannot go into details, I love you all but I cannot push this burden on you.
It cannot leave the house.
It is because of this that I won't be on very much, if at all.
But there is another reason, and it's not just Gaia I'm walking away from.
When I should have been studying for my Midterms, I was here and on GPX.
Clicking away and watching the precious hours go by.
I put clicking pokemon and lurking over my studies.
And I have paid dearly for it.
No, my Father hasn't found out about my grades yet.
But he will.
An F in Math, and a D in Chem.
I'm ashamed of myself.
Math is my weakest class, but Chem is one of my strongest.
I should not have gotten those grades.
I should have gotten higher.
To add insult to injury, my teacher gave me back the wrong scantron and had to regrade my exam.
I when from a 60 to a 51 in a heart beat.
I do not understand how a 68 on the MC transletes to a 40.5.
It is something she would not explain to me.
As for Chem, I should have known those problems.
I should have known what to do.
But I sat there, feeling like an idiot because I couldn't remember jack s**t.
I walked away from that mid term with a 69.
Something that just utterly shames my high average in that class.
I don't really care what my other exam grades are, these two are proof enough to me.
I'm a failure, there's nothing else to it.
Rage and sadness are all I've felt since the new year.
I've only pretended to be happy, I've made myself a mime.
Mine has been a life of shame.
Depression, yes- you could stay I've fallen into it.
You could say my whole damn family has fallen into it.
We've fallen and we cannot get out.
Everyone is kicking at us and most are not even realizing it.
But I wrote this not to depress you, that was not my intention.
I have found a tutor and will be seeing her as soon as I possibly can.
I have found "peace" so to speak in reading books.
And I will be returning, rest assured.
This is not good bye.
This is a hiatus.
I'll be on tonight and tomorrow, but come the weekend I shallt be here.
I want you all to know that you have helped de-stress me.
But I cannot be on a site that is reminding me of my current troubles.
Until the sun has risen, I shall sleep.
