Atreides 0
Ok, right off the bat.
I'm fat. So it's not some skinny little whiner saying this.
It's a fat man saying it.
Awhile ago I had some rules.
These rules were very good.
They had nothing to do with weight.
And nothing to do with looking sexy.
In fact they were the opposite.
They were the nine rules to being fat.
As time has gone on I've lost these rules and so I'm remaking them.
Along with a new discussion.
Note: These rules are unisex and apply to both males and females. Although some may have special adaptions.
Rules to being Fat:
1. Do NOT wear tight clothes. In fact, don't wear 'sexy' clothes period. They weren't made for us.
(exception: 'sexy' underclothing is ok, so long as it's NOT VISIBLE when clothed)
2. If you are fat to the point of cottage cheese arms please god cover it up. Nobody but the chubby chasers like that, and well . . . they can see it when you're porking each other.
3. Deoderant is a MUST. Yes, despite what we like to think, we do smell bad. Doesn't matter if it's just going out to work and sitting in a chair for several hours you'll probably still work up a sweat and stink. So slather on that deoderant. (perferably non-scented so it won't bug people when active)
4. Do not remove clothing in public unless necessary. AKA unless the cops are having you stripped searched keep that shirt on.
5. Avoid dance moves that turn you into a walking pile of jello. This is for your own protection as much as others. Because once a fat person starts jiggling they could fall down and hurt themselves or knock someone else out.
6. It's safer for you to be on bottom unless your partner weighs more, then go with the side by side. (I really shouldn't have to explain this one)
7. Be senisble with your choice of swim wear. If you have to wear a shirt and swim, do so. Don't ruin other people's time just because you can't lose the weight or refuse to. (for the people that don't understand this rule you've never seen a 400lb+ man walking in a speedo gonk )
8. Never glomp someone if you are twice their size (this does go for some skinny people too).
9. No lowriding jeans. This is seperate from tight/sexy clothes since low riders don't have to be either. If it shows your crack put it back.
10. Do not use special 'sexy' moves. These were more than likely not meant to be used by a fat person and will just disgust your intended target rather than attract them.
Now that you know the new rules to being fat. We need to clear up how to define fat. If you're more than 300, these apply to you. If you're short and over 260, these probably apply to you.
But here's a simpler way.
Stand straight up.
Look down.
Can you see your feet?
>No? Ok your fat.
>Yes? Continue on.
Can you see Mr. Dongle/Mrs. Hooha?
>Yes, ok stop taking this test your obviously not fat.
>No, ok your fat. But it may not be bad enough to need these rules you may only qualify as pudgy, and hell, that's better than being a skeletor. wink
These rules are mainly meant for the obese and up people more than the slightly pudgy, little bit fat people.
Discussion Directors:
-Fat people
-Rules to being something
-They make sense
-Simple fat tests
-Does the Mrs. in Mrs. Hooha mean she's married?
-Following your own rules to a T.
cool
I'm fat. So it's not some skinny little whiner saying this.
It's a fat man saying it.
Awhile ago I had some rules.
These rules were very good.
They had nothing to do with weight.
And nothing to do with looking sexy.
In fact they were the opposite.
They were the nine rules to being fat.
As time has gone on I've lost these rules and so I'm remaking them.
Along with a new discussion.
Note: These rules are unisex and apply to both males and females. Although some may have special adaptions.
Rules to being Fat:
1. Do NOT wear tight clothes. In fact, don't wear 'sexy' clothes period. They weren't made for us.
(exception: 'sexy' underclothing is ok, so long as it's NOT VISIBLE when clothed)
2. If you are fat to the point of cottage cheese arms please god cover it up. Nobody but the chubby chasers like that, and well . . . they can see it when you're porking each other.
3. Deoderant is a MUST. Yes, despite what we like to think, we do smell bad. Doesn't matter if it's just going out to work and sitting in a chair for several hours you'll probably still work up a sweat and stink. So slather on that deoderant. (perferably non-scented so it won't bug people when active)
4. Do not remove clothing in public unless necessary. AKA unless the cops are having you stripped searched keep that shirt on.
5. Avoid dance moves that turn you into a walking pile of jello. This is for your own protection as much as others. Because once a fat person starts jiggling they could fall down and hurt themselves or knock someone else out.
6. It's safer for you to be on bottom unless your partner weighs more, then go with the side by side. (I really shouldn't have to explain this one)
7. Be senisble with your choice of swim wear. If you have to wear a shirt and swim, do so. Don't ruin other people's time just because you can't lose the weight or refuse to. (for the people that don't understand this rule you've never seen a 400lb+ man walking in a speedo gonk )
8. Never glomp someone if you are twice their size (this does go for some skinny people too).
9. No lowriding jeans. This is seperate from tight/sexy clothes since low riders don't have to be either. If it shows your crack put it back.
10. Do not use special 'sexy' moves. These were more than likely not meant to be used by a fat person and will just disgust your intended target rather than attract them.
Now that you know the new rules to being fat. We need to clear up how to define fat. If you're more than 300, these apply to you. If you're short and over 260, these probably apply to you.
But here's a simpler way.
Stand straight up.
Look down.
Can you see your feet?
>No? Ok your fat.
>Yes? Continue on.
Can you see Mr. Dongle/Mrs. Hooha?
>Yes, ok stop taking this test your obviously not fat.
>No, ok your fat. But it may not be bad enough to need these rules you may only qualify as pudgy, and hell, that's better than being a skeletor. wink
These rules are mainly meant for the obese and up people more than the slightly pudgy, little bit fat people.
Discussion Directors:
-Fat people
-Rules to being something
-They make sense
-Simple fat tests
-Does the Mrs. in Mrs. Hooha mean she's married?
-Following your own rules to a T.
cool
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