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 Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 2:54 pm
Your probation will last up to 2 weeks.
During this time you should post as normal, but only in this thread.
I, or another admin, will reply to you and correct any mistakes in your posts.
Your probation will end after 2 weeks, or before then if we decide we are satisfied with the quality of your posts.
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 3:08 pm
Jeremy turned to say something to Liette, but then watched in dismay as she turned and ran away. As everyone else bustled along to get wherever they were going Jeremy was left in the hallway alone. He decided that the best thing to do was to go try to find his room own on his own. He turned and headed towards the rear of the school.
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 3:18 pm
As Jeremy walked the halls he wondered why he saw no one else. He else, but then dismissed it as a coincidence. He stopped and saw a flight of stairs, He began to ascend these hoping they would take him to the dorms. He found himself on what looked like a science hallway.* He walked through Walking along, peering in and out of classrooms, he found one that still had a beaker on the teachers desk. He walked over to it and tried to discern what was inside. He couldn't.
He then Then he had an idea; what better way to practice his powers? He touched the beaker and concentrated. His finger began to heat up, and the chemical began to boil. Just the chemicals exploded. He teleported in the fraction of a second before the chemicals hit him, He then watched in horror as it began to melt the desk and chair. He decided to leave before he was caught.
[[Edit: 13 out of the 15 sentences in that post began with 'He', so try to link those sentences into longer sentences, as I've done.
* Check the map. There are no classrooms on the first floor, just on the ground floor where he was at first, and they are all (mostly) in one corridor.]]
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:02 pm
Jeremy walked down a hallway full of windows with windows all along one wall*, but wished he hadn't. The dreary weather seemed a whole lot worse to him, given the way his powers worked. He started to ascend another flight of stairs when and an idea came to him. He stopped, closed his eyes and focused as much energy as he could, he held holding the image of a raven in his head even as he started to shrink and grow feathers. He had enough room on the stairs -- at least he hoped he did. When he opened his eyes a raven stood where he was standing ten seconds ago. Jeremy spread his wings and flew to the next floor.
[[* Again, check the map. There's no hallway full of windows.]]
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:46 am
Kate, who stepped out of her dorm room in time to see Jeremy transform and fly away, stood in surprise for a second or two. He must be new, she decided, because she knew pretty much everybody. Plus, he was kind of cute.
Maybe he needs some help finding his way... she thought to herself.
The halls were pretty much empty because it was first period; anyone who had a lesson now was in it, and anyone who had a free period now was still in bed. Except Kate, of course. She'd got up earlier than normal to do an essay, and had been about to make her way downstairs for a hot drink. Until she'd seen Jeremy, that is.
Smiling to herself, she went up the stairs nearby, to see if she could find Jeremy.
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:58 am
Jeremy flew up the stairs. He loved the feeling of the wind running through his feathers. He landed on the next landing and transformed back, he leaned before leaning against the wall, exhausted. "It's too bad that drains so much of my energy" he sighed. He dragged himself to his feet and walked into the next room. Seeing the single window inside he seated himself in front of it. He watched as the rain fell.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:49 pm
[[I take it you're on the second floor, where there are empty rooms? Also, make sure to check the weather (displayed on the home page) before you make any reference to it.]]
Kate saw Jeremy fly into one of the empty dorm rooms, and followed.
Peering round the door-frame, she watched quietly as he sat in front of the window and watched the drizzle. It would be over soon; they were just early April showers.
She coughed gently before speaking, alerting him to her presence. "Hi. You new here?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:46 am
( yeah second floor, and i did it said light showers, my character wont be going out side anytime soon.)
Jeremy spun to look at the girl, "Uh yeah just got here today... Is it that obvious?" he laughed nervously. He slowly got to his feet, his face contorted from the strain of moving after using so much energy. Finally on his feet he walked over to the girl, and held out his hand. "I'm Jeremy, nice to meet you." he said.
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:22 am
[[Just making sure 3nodding Could you try to use proper grammar, punctuation, etc. in your OOC speech as well, please?]]
Kate shook his hand, trying not to laugh. "You're very well-mannered, aren'tcha? I'm Kate." She released his hand, and dropped hers into her her pocket. "And yeah; nobody comes up here... unless they can't find their room." She grinned. "So, are you lost?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:43 pm
[[Uh I'll try my best, I guess my grammar really went down the toilet, you know with all that texting and everything.]]
Jeremy scratched his head, embarrassed. "Yeah I was trying to find the dorms so I figured I'd just keep going up stairs 'till I found them." he laughed.
"What are you doing here? ...Uh, if you don't mind me asking." he said, saying the last part in a rush so as not to offend.
[[ When the battle house opens, will I be able to participate?]]
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:56 pm
[[Once the beta testing's over and the Battle House is fully opened, anyone will be able to participate, provided they're not on probation.]]
Kate shrugged. "Oh, y'know; saw you looking kinda lost and saw you were kinda cute -- before you turned into a pigeon or whatever." She waved her hands around for emphasis as she spoke quickly. "Anyway..." she paused, her eyes flicking upwards and to the side as she thought for a second. "Your dorm could be up here, but most of them are on the floor below. Do you know what number it is?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 3:07 pm
" Raven." he said."It was a Raven." He looked her in the eyes. " Cute?" he said gasped, smiling. " I mean uh...." he stuttered, grabbing his newbie pack from his backpack. " 61...Dorm room 61" he said, the smile still painted across his face. He folded his paper and hoisted his backpack back on his shoulders.
[[Any idea when the battle house will officially open?]]
[[ ok i edited them]]
[[My edit's in blue - Misconstrudel]]
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 2:29 pm
[[In less than 6 months for certain, in a few months possibly, but definitely not in the next month. It depends on how fast the beta testers test it.]]
Kate had to suppress a laugh at his reaction. Instead she just smiled and said "Oh hey, you're on this floor. Want me to walk you to your room, then?"
Her eyes glinted mischievously, but not in a malevolent way, as she turned to leave the room. "Keep up, Pigeon Boy." she called, over her shoulder.
[[Instead of me editing it, please go back and fix your post so there's less repetition, e.g. of 'he said'.]]
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 4:58 pm
Jeremy sighed and started to follow. " Raven," he called. " It was a Raven".
He followed her out into the hallway while simultaneously reading the information in his newbie pack. " Weird School school" he laughed.
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 2:12 pm
Kate shrugged. "You get used to it." she said, smiling as she walked a little ahead of him, taking strides as long as were possible for someone so short.
"So, Pidgey, what's your story?"
[[Quick note: There shouldn't be a space after speech marks, like you've been doing. Also, if the rest of the speech is after a break in speech, there needs to be punctuation before the closing speech mark, eg. "Raven," he called. "It was a Raven".
You've improved loads, though. If you can give me a few 'perfect' posts (one or no mistakes) by Wednesay, you can be off probation.]]
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