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 Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 7:17 pm
Yeah... This is the first thing I've ever put up on thr forum so I'm kinda nervous about it. Anyway, here we go:
The roof of the school. No matter what I always end up here, at the same time. These thugs have gotten boring to the point where I don't even bother to remember their names. My name is Justino Nero, the heir to the Rosa Nero family.
"Hmph, what do you posers want? A good beatdown or a staring contest?" These idiots had been staring at me ever since I made it to the roof during lunch.
"Big talk for someone who's afraid to come over here", someone said from the crowd.
This is when all of the good kids turn around and see a fight coming on. The second he finished his sentence I was over there. For once the fight seemed fair. 19 "one-hitters" and maybe a two or three hitter. I just ignored the small fry and went to what appeared to be their boss.
"For someone who can talk you sure are puny."
"And you seem to talk to much even though I heard you were a fighter."
I put on my trademark black fingerless gloves with a picture of a black rose on fire. "This will be over with quick."
The punches flew fast. We just kept blocking each other and seemed evenly matched. "This can fight", I thought as my mind began to wonder. That's when I heard the click and the bang.
I turned. A girl fell to the floor. But not just any girl. The only person who treated me like I wasn't a delinquent since I moved to Japan. She had even gotten me a beanie when some thugs tore my old one to shreds. Her name was Sora Mizunagi. She was only 15.
The rage. In that moment, that's all there was.
"So much for big your big talk now huh, big guy?"
A glow. A bright glow formed from the insignia on my gloves. Everyone backed up. In one moment of absolute rage, all my emotions going haywire, one big blast formed from my hands. The world slowly faded to white.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 4:46 am
Questions. Is Justino taking on a crowd, or a couple of bullies? And why does everyone stand around waiting for his gloves to blow fire after a fellow student gets capped right in the midst of them? I'm a little lost on these issues...
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:40 am
Well, he skips the crowd and goes staright to the guy he thinks is worth his time. I kinda went into detail overload with the gloves, but it was supposed to be instantaneous after he saw who it was the got shot.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:02 pm
It seems incredibly lame of him to put on gloves before a fight.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:55 pm
I guess you could say that the gloves are a symbol of his pride
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 6:04 am
 nom nom nom... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ wahmbulance RANT COMING! wahmbulance
'Kay so this whole this is incredible confusing. Everything went too fast, and some things were explained weirdly. I think the part where the girl dies should be expanded and the explanation longer. I also think that the "guys" or "bullies" or whoever they are should be actually freaked out that there is a fire ball emitting from a freakin' glove! And speaking about the glove, it's kinda lame that he puts the gloves on before the fight. You should just mention them, but give more details to the explanation and have them already on his hand so he wouldn't have to worry about it. Can he only use the powers of the glove when he's mad or emotionally unstable? Oh and during the fight, what do you mean it "seemed" equal. Come on ! Detail. Sensory details. Imagery. I sound like my teacher...
*pant pant*
For your first time posting, it's O.K.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:51 pm
What do ya mean putting the gloves on makes it lame!?!? I find it awesome. Seriously this kid has cool writing but lack of detail is all he is guilty of. Btw I wanna read more of this story sounds interesting
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