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 Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:52 pm
 Ly was at a complete and utter loss for words so it was a good thing really that she was still searching for Rahim. Gave her time to think, though that wan't really getting her anywhere quick. Her thoughts were about as jumbled up as her stumbling paws seemed to be - and while she was both trying to think and not look like a stumbling idiot - she really wasn't doing a very good job on either account.
In fact she was panicked - there really wasn't any other word to describe it and the her thoughts were filtering through her head at a mile a minute as searched wide eyed for the male whom had brought her here. unfortunately there were allot of lions in this pride with the same colors as Rahim and all to often she'd spot a green and black hide only to find it belonged to someone else as she got closer.
She really wanted to find him and was close to outright sobbing by the time she thought maybe..just maybe she actually spotted him in the distance. She wanted to find him so that he could tell her it would all be alright - that eh cubs words had been lies or just the mistakes of youth, perhaps her parents had told her such thing to keep her out of trouble, in any case she couldn't..wouldn't believe that Rahim - her friend Rahim - could have lead her to such a fate!
Was it him? she thought it was..this time it had to be...yes there was his stripy tail she'd found so handsome on their first meeting and red eyes and..and ..yowling in distress she picked up her pace and hurried towards him.
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:14 am
It was why he had avoided Lycaena. He didn't want her seeing him so unlike himself. He was supposed to be strong and proud, not alternating between snarling, half-tears, and complete, and utter woe. Why had the spirits cursed him like this? Suha was supposed to be his! HIS! Hadn't he told her he'd come back for her? Hadn't he proved his affection before he left?
Oh, he realized the decision wasn't hers to make. But he hadn't thought that Aali could be so unknowingly cruel! To give up his daughter to Rahims' half-brother. It absolutely destroyed the olive coated male to know that his love was now the banu of another. He hadn't been able to confront or face his sibling, nor did he want to. He feared how he would respond, react. . .
To make matters worse, was Suha had given birth to two cubs. To cubs who were a mix of Suha and . . . a rogue. But that rogue looked a lot like Rahim and he knew the heritage of those cubs. They were his. He had given Suha two cubs and yet . . . he couldn't even claim them. He couldn't say they were his own, couldn't admit of the great sin he had done before he had left. So they were bastards, the poor things. Would they ever know they were his? Would they ever know that he'd be watching from afar, wishing, hoping he could be a stronger presence in their life?
Or would that role fall to his half-brother. . .? Would they look upon him with love and call him father?
The thought made Rahim sick and he felt his hackles raise and a snarl escape his throat. This entire situation was convoluted! How was he supposed to deal with this? Unfortunately, he couldn't talk to Suha and finding a place where he could be alone with her to get answers, to get things straightened out was all but impossible. Furthermore, he wasn't sure he trusted himself around her. He was livid. . . not at her . . .but at the spirits.
This wasn't how things were supposed to be.
Pacing back and forth, muscles tense, the lion almost missed the approach of his white banu. But her yowl, so full of pain and distress, did catch his attention and half-starting he whirled around to see who it was. Part of him had hoped it might be his most beloved Suha, needing him as much as he had needed her. But instead, what greeted him was a pale white lioness, with a pale mane and tail and a lovely grey mask. It was Lycaena . . . but she looked unhappy.
Part of him was surprised to see her so far from their den, and a sinking feeling began to develop in his chest. He had hoped she might stay oblivious to her fate, but Rahim had known the minute he returned with her and claimed her as his banu, that this day wouldn't be long in coming. She would have found out, but he had hoped it would have been later. Much later.
Maybe he was wrong. Hopefully something else was distressing her, but . . . he'd find out soon enough. "Ly," he spoke, trotting forward hurriedly to meet her half-way. "What's wrong?" He questioned, doing his best to hide his on woe and angst. He looked fairly uptight and ragged himself, but his eyes did show concern for the female before him.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 5:50 am
Oh thank the gods..it really was Rahim! Now that she was closer she couldn't mistake him for anyone else - which was good because just imagine how embarrassing it would have been to run up to a total stranger in such a state. She was so very relieved to have found him that she wanted to run up to him and shove her head into his mane and cry upon his shoulder until he assured her it was all fine.
But...and her steps faltered slightly as he hurried towards her...what if the cub hadn't been lying? And here she was trying to get comfort from the very reason she was in this mess to begin with! How could she have been so stupid? Sides heaving she skid to a stop before reaching him, blue eyes distressed and wary - as though suddenly afraid of either him - or what he might tell her when she asked the question she'd come to ask.
And she had to ask...there really wasn't any getting around it, she couldn't go on wondering if it was true, the stress would just..kill her! She knew it!..but at the same time she really didn't want to know...Rahim had been the only true friend she felt like she'd ever had and the thought that he'd deceived her and tricked her and brought her back here knowing what would happen..well she just..didn't know how to react to that, even the thought made her stomach clench in a throughly disturbing manner...but she was getting ahead of herself...and crouching down she stared at the ground because somehow that felt more safer and more comforting then staring him in the eye when she asked him before blurting out in a quiet voice "Is it true? A cub told me that I am your Banu now and that I can never..ever..leave..."
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:22 pm
Rahim stared at Lycaena, not really sure what to say or how to respond to her worries. So she had finally been told of her true place, her true position within the pride. A very small part of Rahim felt saddened by the sight of her looking so desperate and small. He knew this day would come, but he hadn't entirely thought it would be so soon. He also hadn't entirely thought of what he was going to say to her.
Did he lie? Perhaps had he been in a happier mood, he would have taken the time to fib. To sugar-coat the truth, to come up with something manipulative to calm her nerves and keep her near.
But unfortunately, Rahim was not feeling up to such a task. He was already stressed by the knowledge he was a father and unable to claim the cubs as his own. He was furthermore heartbroken over the fact Sihu was now his brothers banu. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen, this wasn't how things were supposed to go. So Ly's tears were in vain, and he knew he might as well tell her the truth.
He stepped closer and leaned down, offering her a gentle, almost affectionate nuzzle of her neck and shoulder. He also stepped close so he might pounce and knock her down should she decide to make a break for the borders. He wouldn't allow her to leave him, not now, not when his very foundations had already been shaken. He needed Ly at this moment, even if he wouldn't admit it, and needed her to stay loyal.
He'd already lost Suha, he wouldn't lose another banu so soon. "It is true." He spoke, voice quiet but firm. "I brought you here under false pretenses. I specifically left out the details of what it would mean when you entered the pride with me. I . . . It was my duty as a male to return with a female as a mate, a banu, and I had chosen you." His brows knit as he considered his words, not sure what he could say to ease this knowledge.
" . . . While I am sorry this news isn't easy to digest, I am not sorry for choosing you. You were and are my friend, that was never a lie or manipulation, but I wanted you for my mate as well." It was true. She had been very fun company, and no one could doubt her beauty. He was proud to call Ly his own . . . . Unfortunately, there was only one way for her to truly be free and that was to run. But if she chose that option, the consequences wouldn't be pretty. "I had hoped our time together from your home to my pride would have been time enough for your feelings to blossom in to something more but . . .the dullness of your gaze . . . the fear on your tongue. . . your worries . . . it tells me that isn't so." She could deny him all she wanted, but he wasn't going to let her go no matter how much she pleaded. She was his banu and he wasn't going to let her go without.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 5:14 am
Others might have fled, as soon as the cubs words had proven true they would have leapt to their paws and ran despite the Lions closeness, but Ly did not. Perhaps it was Rahims gentle nuzzle which kept her rooted to the spot even after he spoke the truth, or perhaps it was the fact that he had at long last offered her the truth and while it was a bitter pill to swallow if she were to be truthful herself then she would have to admit that she didn't have anyplace to run.
She didn't know how to get home and nothing awaited her there but loneliness even if by some miracle she managed to find her way - the trip from there to here had been long and winding and she had grown fond of Rahim, she hadn't admitted it because he had seemed preoccupied so often with thoughts elsewhere. But she had liked him - did still like him despite all this and that she decided was foolish too. She ought to be angry - she ought to yowl and scream and declare that she hated him - but she couldn't, because she didn't. Ly was not a stupid lioness - naive perhaps but not stupid and somewhere in his words she tasted not only the truth but a reasoning - a reason that made perfect sense to him even as it still eluded her, she thought perhaps she was still working with half a story. Duty he'd called it and it wasn't the first time she'd heard him utter that word - no she needed to know more about this pride and the way they worked before she decided to try and hate him.
Scrubbing her face with a paw to try and clear her eyes she looked up at him. "You should have told me" She insisted "How did you expect this to go otherwise? You could have..." Have what? Given her a choice? From what she had gathered so far - and granted that was a small bit of knowledge -he couldn't have done anything but what he had done, how many females would come back willingly to such a fate? Not many she supposed. Fear would make them resist even if they loved the Lion. "I don't know, but I shouldn't have learned from a cub. I am angry with you Rahim and hurt...what happens if I decide to leave?" She questioned him daringly though her body made no move to actually follow through with that thought, would he tell her the truth about that she wondered as she eyed him.
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 5:25 pm
Rahim studied Lycaena as she stood before him. Part of him wondered what was going through her mind, what it was she was feeling and what would become of their relationship. Not that they had much of one outside of their friendship but . . .he was fond of her. She was beautiful, she was funny, and she was good company. He did like her, but he also understood that the chances of her feeling anything for him (especially after this news) was slim to none.
Unfortunately, that was just the way of the pride. He wasn't a great romancer, and the only lioness he truly wanted to love and possess was Suha. Unfortunately though, she wasn't to be his. While he may have been open to letting Ly go, or at least giving her to someone else if Suha had been in his harem . . .well . . . now it just wasn't going to happen. He couldn't lose his first banu so soon! Not after he'd already lost his true love.
It surprsied him though that she hadn't run. She wasn't fighting him yet, she wasn't screaming or making a scene. In fact, if anything she just seemed exasperated and hurt by the entire affair. Strange really . . . He had half expected her to bolt and for him to have to tackle her down. Still, he wasn't going to let his guard down. Who knew what she might do, especially as upset as she appeared to be?
"I intended to tell you as soon as we had settled. Some unfortunate personal issues cropped up as soon as we set paw on the pridelands, and it's kept me a bit preoccupied." His voice had hardened some when he spoke, his tail flicking in annoyance. It wasn't directed at Lycaena, but the entire situation was so jacked up it was difficult for Rahim to remain placid about it. It was the worst feeling in the world to suffer such betrayal. It wasn't Suha's fault but . . . . for the first time ever he wanted to damn her father and the entire rituals of the pride. How were they supposed to be together when she was with his half-brother!?
But right now there was Lycaena, and dealing with her. "I knew you weren't going to be happy when you found out. But how would you have approached this subject, Ly? I couldn't return home without a banu in tow. Not many females out there are willing to tolerate a pride or a male who is required to possess females. Would you rather have me lie to you? Would you rather have had me seduce you and pretend to be my lover? Would you rather I have told you point blank, 'Hey, come home with me, you can't ever leave but it'll be great!'?" He frowned and gave a shake of his head, as well as a heavy sigh. "I couldn't risk it, Ly, so I chose the safest route for both of us. You weren't supposed to find out from a cub, I'll admit that, but . . . .I guess in the end we both learned to live with disappointment. You're stuck in a pride against your will, and I didn't get you here soon enough."
He didn't expect her to understand, especially since he hadn't exactly spoken about any of these 'problems' upon their return. He had, if anything, kept quiet and to himself. He'd been a bit more elusive, and hadn't been around quite as frequently as he had originally planned to be . . . but heartache was heartless. Frowning as she stood defiantly before him, he closed his eyes for a minute before once again focusing only on Ly.
" . . .you can try to leave, but realize I will find you again. And you can vow to run the rest of your life, you can vow to hate me, to fight me, to loathe me but at this moment. . .right now . . .I cannot let and will not let you leave." It sounded cold and cruel, but such was the way of the pride. It was very rare a female left without being found. Now and again one or two disappeared, but it wasn't something condoned and many of the males were looked upon as weak for being deceived by such a female. "But Ly, I don't want it be that way. I brought you here willingly once, I don't want to have to fight you. You've been given many allowances by me that some banu do not receive." It wasn't a threat, but she was unaware of how some Pads treated their females. He saw how some of the banu were abused, or mistreated, loathed, used . . . . Rahim wasn't the sort. He could be manipulative, but he encouraged Lycaena to speak her mind.
"I can teach you everything you want to know about the Ukuucha'wafalme. I can promise you'll be respected and treated well by me. But Ly, I . . . I can't lose you right now." Strangely enough, it was as close to begging and as emotional as he'd ever been around the pale female. His magenta eyes stared at her, and there was a desperation and pain that hadn't been there before. He truly needed her friendship and support right now. . . . but pride didn't allow him to say such a thing. Not so obviously.
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:56 am
A small growl of frustration escaped her lips and she jerked her head away from his sad sad looking eyes, that just wasn't fair. She was the one who had been wronged, she was the one who been tricked and betrayed and hurt....and yet she sensed that in the end Rahim had been hurt much worse though she wasn't sure exactly how. She recalled the look in his eyes once she had agreed to come on this trip with him - she had thought he was merely happy to have company but she realized now that he had been hopeful and while the trip had not been rushed they had certainly not lingered any longer in one place then they needed to.
He had been in a hurry to return and by his own words had returned to late. To late for what? Something important and dear to him and damn all the gods alive if she didn't want to comfort him about it...just a little. Whatever it was. Twisting away from him because it was just far to hard to think with him staring at her with those horribly pained eyes she paced off a small circle.
She tried, she tried very hard to make sense of what he had told her - to put herself in his paws - to be told to leave and return with a female in tow, a female who could never leave nor have much of a say in their future. There wasn't many good ways to butter that up for someone now was there and while there might be a couple Lioness' willing to come back to such a life the good majority of them wouldn't...and she could see how using trickery and deceit would be the safer route. It was still wrong and she was still angry..but she could reason out his point of view to some degree.
And he needed her - it wasn't fair and maybe if he'd been cold or detached and lied to her some more she might have been able to fight back and argue and demand that he let her go, maybe she could have hated him instead of just being angry with him and she was sure that hating him would have made her feel better or at least made more sense...but she didn't. It could have been worse she told herself - she could have been found by another of these predatory males..been dragged back and mistreated and caged as he implied happened with other males. He had never been cruel to her - save perhaps for this deception - and she didn't think he ever would be. Rahim just wasn't the type for such things and blast it all if that just didn't make the sputtering flame of rebellion left within her die just a little bit more.
Closing her eyes she blew out a deep steadying breath before turning and padding back towards him. Fine she wouldn't try to run away and force him to chase her..and she wouldn't scream and yell and cry and make him feel worse then he already did or make a scene in front of the other Pride lions...but she was still upset with him, that he would just have to deal with for a little while.
But you can be upset with someone and still care for them too - and you can be upset with someone and offer a small kindness when you see one is needed. Odds are she wouldn't be upset with him forever and she saw no point in further shredding the friendship they had, if she did that then it might never heal and she wanted it to....once she was done being upset with him.
"Okay" She told him softly "Okay I won't try to leave you, I'm still angry with you...but I'll stay with you." She promised though something in his words still bothered her "But what do you mean you didn't bring me back soon enough?"
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 10:18 am
((Baah! I could have sworn I replied. ;_; Sooooo sorrry for the delay!))
Rahim kept his red gaze on Ly, studying her every move even as he considered his actions. If she ran, if she bolted, he would pursue. His pride had already been torn to shreds and he'd be damned if his banu escaped before spending more than a fortnight in the pride! He worried for her if he did have to drag her back howling mad - while he wasn't one to abuse his banu, he knew that sometimes they had to be taught a lesson.
He preferred words over violence, but he also knew himself well enough to know that there were lines. And if certain ones were crossed, especially with as foul a mood as he was currently in, he would do whatever he had to do to make sure a lesson was learned. Even if it was to Ly. . . . He'd already lost Suha, there was no way he was going to let his first banu leave. She was his, and she was beautiful, and he truly did enjoy her company. He didn't want another male to have her, another Pad to snatch her up. He'd lost Suha but he wasn't going to lose Ly.
It would be a cold day in hell before that happened.
Surprisingly though, Lycaena didn't pull away or retreat or run screaming for the borders. His ears flicked some as she spoke, and while she still looked angry, and even admitted as much, she committed to stay. Seriously? The surprise he felt showed, and he canted his head in a curious sort of position. His muscles relaxed a touch, though he was prepared for trickery if she was attempting to relax him before making a run for it. Somehow though, that didn't seem to be Ly's way. " . . . I am glad to hear that, Ly. I don't expect you to like me, much less this entire predicament," he spoke, words quiet but sincere. "but it brings me joy to hear of your choice."
Rahim wasn't a great romantic when he was being sincere, but if his feelings for Lycaena weren't entirely true, it was safe to say that in this moment he truly did love her. For being so good, for being so considerate. He cared about her, certainly, but he had brought her purely back as a friend. It would still take time to see whether or not she would ever come to care. . . and without Suha. . . well, he would always love her, but . . . .his attentions would now be on Ly and Ly alone.
As Lycaena inquired about his words, he knew that he'd best come clean. Glancing around at the emptiness, he wanted to be sure no ears could hear him. "These words are sensitive, and should not be spread lest they cause me and another trouble." Ha, sure. Trouble was the understatement of the world.
"There was another in this pride I had come to feel for long ago, before my journey to the rogue lands. She and I were close and grew up together as cubs, perhaps the only one I ever learned to fully trust outside of my mother. I couldn't claim her as my own until I returned with a banu and was officially recognized as a Pad, as she is one of the sultans daughters. We made a vow to one another before I left on my journey, we spent much time together in secret before I left. I had every intention of claiming her as my Beybanu, but it appears the spirits would not adhere to this plan. We came back too late. She was given to my half-brother, and had earlier given birth to two sons." Though he spoke quietly, constantly looking around, the way he spoke of the two children was . . .off. It wasn't jealousy or bitterness, it was almost with a voice of hopelessness. "It is unlikely she will be given up. Her sons are not my half-brothers, they are . . . they have no father, according to Suha. She claims to have been attacked but I think you might realize such isn't so. My brother Anwar, the snake that he can be, knows the truth. . . and I entrust this knowledge on to you. But this is a secret that cannot be share. I pray you forget it."
The lion heaved a breath, doing his best to keep himself in repose. He didn't want to look weak, he certainly didn't want to look like he might be overwhelmingly affected by this scenario. . . but he was. He hated every minute of it - it was bad enough he was without Suha's company, it was worse he had family he couldn't claim as his own! And now Ly . . .
Life wasn't being kind to Rahim, but he would man up and follow through. Suha wasn't his own, but Ly was. He needed her. . . . because at this very moment, he had no one else.
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:11 am
He'd expected her to run. That much was obvious to Ly as she watched the puzzled look flash across his eyes and the tilt of his head as he tried to figure out why she'd ever consent to such a thing. He also seemed to expect her to hate him and that hurt a bit - that he had been willing to bring her here and sacrifice their friendship so quickly. But that wasn't entirely true either she didn't think, Ly was pretty sure that Rahim deep down hadn't wanted to hurt her, not really, she wanted to believe he was still a good and kind lion, that he had simply been forced into this situation by circumstances outside of his control. "Even if I wanted to leave..where would I go Rahim? I don't hate you and I don't know how I feel about it here yet but I don't have anywhere or anyone else to run to" She told him truthfully.
She grew quiet as he started to answer her last question, mulling his words over in her mind carefully. He was entrusting her with a secret she understood, one that could get him in heaps of trouble along with this other female, perhaps he was telling her as a sign of trust - or perhaps it was his way of apologizing for his earlier deception, allowing her this slight insight into his past. Certainly he didn't have to tell her - he could have come up with any number of responses or further lies to satisfy her question. It would have been safer for him, these sorts of secrets were always better kept to as few minds as possible, but he'd told her and a story like this could be nothing but the truth. It was simply too ill fated to be anything but.
She caught his unspoken implications about the cubs father and...felt sorry for him, an emotion she wasn't sure he would take kindly too. He'd left his home with a clear dream in mind and returned only to find that dream dashed and gone - worse the dream was still around, flaunting itself before his very eyes every time he turned around. It must be terrible and she realized after a few moments that perhaps if they hadn't tarried so long on the return journey, if he hadn't taken the time to show her the sights he had shown her, to lead her on an adventure like he had promised when they set out - even if the end wasn't what she'd had in mind - then maybe he would have made it back in time to claim this lost love. she wondered if the female felt as badly as Rahim seemed to feel..even if he tried to hide it. Stepping forward hesitantly she reached out a paw and placed it softly on one of his. If she hadn't still been angry at him she might have nuzzled him in comfort. "I am glad you told me, some things are easier to bear when you have another to share the burden" She wouldn't tell a soul about this admission of his she promised herself. Not ever.
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