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the reason we suffer is because of sin, but the reason we should want to suffer is to help Jesus carry His cross, to show our love to Him, and also for making reparation for sins, both ours and others,
i know it can seem harsh, but God is all loving and all wise, He knows what He's doing, and He knows the great benefits and great graces we will receive when we suffer willingly, and also by accepting our sufferings and bearing them patiently we comfort and console Jesus, Who suffered and died abandoned. when we carry our cross, we help Jesus carry His, and He helps us carry ours, Jesus is always with us even when we refuse to carry our cross, but when we do refuse to carry our cross, then Jesus carries his and ours alone...which is sad, because Jesus did not deserve His cross, while we deserve ours, which is far less of a cross than we really deserve, which through Gods love and mercy is lessened for us...

i have often wondered myself why God would choose suffering as the greatest proof of love, but it was not something that caused doubts and worries for me, it was something i simply meditated and contemplated on for a while, and the more i thought about it, the more i just realized that there is really no greater show of love, no greater means of purification, no greater means of mortification and penance,
when we suffer willingly for God, we are telling Him "Lord, i love You MORE then i hate this suffering, nothing can tear me away for You"
we know that this life is a time of trial and learning, we are here to know, love, and serve God in this life, so we can be happy with Him in the next, other then that nothing else matters.

there are two reasons we might suffer - either because we have sinned and we deserve it, or because we love God and want to prove it.

here is a quote from one of my favorite saints on this matter - 'He who suffers in patience, surfers less and saves his soul. He who suffers impatiently, suffers more and loses his soul.' St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

so you see, when we suffer willingly, we actually suffer less, and since we will always suffer in this life whether we want to or not, then the best course of action is to take this advice and suffer willingly and patiently, thus suffering less and saving your soul.

this life is so short, when you die it will seem like just a speck in your eternal existence, and although it feels long now, it is really very little and a very small price to pay for heaven, which we do not and cannot deserve, God only gives it to us freely, and we enter not by anything else but charity, which is the love of God above all else, and the love of others for the love of God...which is not to say that nothing else matters, but simply that all things we do should be done with charity, otherwise "I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal...I am nothing...it profiteth me nothing." - 1st Epistle Of Saint Paul To The Corinthians

if you read the lives of the saints, you will see that they found great peace and joy in their sufferings, not that they enjoyed the pain, but they loved enduring for Christ, and they loved what they could give and gain by the merits and graces of their suffering,

but to fully understand the mystery and benefits of suffering, all you need to do is read and meditate on the life and death of Jesus, and pray every day for God to help you understand.
because i know personally how this can be a hard thing to understand even with all the teachings of the saints and of the church, some things are really just best understood by what God speaks to you in your heart, so pray often,

but what i've also come to learn through just praying, is that the reason for these punishments for sin are rather reasonable and understandable, God does not punish us for our sins because we hurt Him, or just because we broke His laws, it is more of a discipline and a purification, just like when you are young and you must learn not to hit others or yell at others, and your parents discipline you, God does the same with us, to help us detach ourselves from our sins and control ourselves,
but that is not the only way, we can discipline ourselves just the same by mortification and penances, which the purpose of is to be in control of ourselves, so instead of our feelings and passions and moods being in control, our logic and reason and wisdom are in control,
most people i know and talk to are so frustrated with themselves because they always do things they don't want to do, but with the practice of mortification and penance, then you only do what you will to do,
it's not such a hard thing to do really, but the problem is just that so many since childhood have been spoiled or spoil themselves, and it makes it so much harder later in life when you want be a certain way and it's just so hard...
but clearly God knows better than to spoil us that way, He knows what will result with good discipline...

although God certainly does take vengeance as well, as He Himself said "Revenge is mine", but it is still motivated by love, since God is love, and can do nothing except by love, which may be hard to understand, but after all - "For my thoughts are not your thoughts: nor your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are exalted above the earth, so are my ways exalted above your ways, and my thoughts above your thoughts." - Isaias 55:8
no matter what we suffer on earth, there is always something good to be had from it, although that does not mean we will accept the suffering or the good that comes from it, but even still, God will use it for some good if we won't...so nothing is wasted.

although i must say, it is still our own fault that there is suffering, God may have allowed it, but we caused it...and we continue to cause it every time we sin...sin spreads sin, but charity spreads chairty(Gods love)...the question we must ask ourselves is, what are we spreading more of? and do we have a right then to complain of our sufferings?
no one wants to feel pain, but again, does a good parent neglect to punish their child when they are being bad? or to train them how to be good? the child does not want the suffering involved with discipline or education, but because we know what is best for them, we make sure they go through it, because it is good for them. when you love someone you do what is best for them, and not just what they want, and God sees that far beyond how we see it, so we simply must trust in Him and follow Him.

and when God speaks of caring for us, remember that He first and foremost cares for our souls, so even if people are dieing, as we see now in Japan, that does not mean they are not cared for,
but if there is any reason for the terrible state the world is in right now, it is because of us Catholics, why? because we are not praying and doing penance!! we are sitting back and taking it easy and just trying to live this life instead of working to save our souls and the souls of others! "Enter ye in at the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way that leadeth to destruction, and many there are who go in thereat. How narrow is the gate, and strait is the way that leadeth to life: and few there are that find it!" Matthew 7:13...this must be one of the most ignored and forgotten bible verses...
how long are we going to blame God for how things are in the world? while we continue to sin and let others sin without so much as a word of warning or a prayer?
God created heaven and earth and everything in them, He knows everything there is to know about everything, He has all wisdom and knowledge, and He is all love...while we are sinners and we think as sinners, who are we to judge God or how He does things? we're the ones who made a mess of the world, and then we yell at God to clean it up! well, despite our ungratefulness and selfishness, God is cleaning it up...so lets be thankful and accept what He KNOWS is best for us.

well, sorry to make that so long, but i've thought very much on this subject over the years, and i know it's barely the tip of the iceberg, there is so much about Gods love to learn that we will never stop learning about Him in all of eternity, and i feel so little when i think of how Saint Thomas Aquinas, the greatest doctor of the church and certified genius, was shown by God some of His vast knowledge, and Saint Thomas threw down his own greatest work saying "nothing but straw"...and the reason that makes me feel so small is, of all the things i have learned, which i sometimes feel proud of...it is all really nothing...of course knowledge is important as it has a purpose, and is good in it's proper place...but it's nothing to be proud of.

anyways, i love to talk, but that's all for now, take care.

Emerald wings said that there are two reasons we suffer : 1.) because we sinned and because we deserve it. or 2.) because we love God and we want to prove it.

To be blunt I think that's just silly. A few months ago my friend was learning to fly a plane from a family friend of his; he crashed into a helicopter; both he and his teacher died instantly. He was a good kid, and this was a complete accident.

To cut to the point, people don't always suffer because they deserve it or it makes them a better person, they don't always suffer because they want to prove a point; they don't always suffer because Catholics don't pray enough; people suffer because life can be a b***h and there's not much we can do about it but take it on the chin and move on.

if they died instantly then they didn't suffer...
if we don't suffer for one of those two reasons, then we suffer in vain, and that's just not the way God wants it, God doesn't want us to suffer needlessly,
we don't have to suffer for those two reasons, we can suffer unwillingly and let it go to waste, but for those who love God and want to share in His passion, then they can turn every bit of suffering into something good, just as the saints did.
it's not a matter of life being a "blank", we're all here for a reason, and suffering entered the world out of Gods mercy, life sucks sometimes because of sin, and we can make reparation for sin by carrying our cross and doing penances,

anyways, i can't say i don't care that you think what i said is silly, simply because it is the truth, the church teaches it, and the saints have always taught and lived by it,
if it was my own opinion, then i really wouldn't care, but when it's something the church and saints have taught, then by rejecting such a teaching you deprive yourself of many spiritual benefits, among other things...
i would just say, read up on it, check out the writings of Saint Thomas Aquinas, Saint Alphonsus De Liguori, Saint John Vianney, Saint Teresa of Avila, and the other doctors of the church, even the bible itself,
every suffering can be turned into something good, no matter how big or small it is, and even if we are not guilty of many sins(which is unlikely) then we can suffer in reparation for the sins of others,

well, i won't go on and on about it, i think i wrote enough already, so just look into it, and really you won't regret it, but if i must make a recommendation, i would recommend these books -
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Must-Suffer-Fr-Remler/dp/1930278292/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1304304157&sr=8-1
https://www.tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/709
https://www.tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/202
https://www.tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/184

it's no problem, but i guess i should make something clear that i don't think i touched on in my post,
when i say we suffer for sin, i mean that because sin entered the world, so suffering entered the world, suffering would not have entered the world if sin didn't, but suffering is still Gods mercy, because by it we can make reparation for sin, among many other things,
and we still suffer for our own sins and we suffer naturally from the effects of the sins of others, which is something that can be well understood if you read what the church has to say on it, or if you read those books i recommended.

although i'm not sure i understand what you're saying, you said "we don't suffer for anything" are you saying suffering just happens and it has nothing to do with punishment or discipline or chastisement?
maybe i'm just misunderstanding, but please clarify.

well, indeed we choose what to do with our sufferings, but suffering does have meaning and it is Gods mercy, which is not my opinion but only what i have learned from the church and Saints and the bible itself, there is no question on the matter as far as the church is concerned, it's just a matter of looking into it and being open to it,
and to help you understand better, i don't want to go on and on about my own understanding of it, although i will try to help you understand if you have questions, but instead i just want to give you this one chapter from Saint Alphonsus' book "The way of Salvation and of Perfection" -

How much it Pleases Jesus Christ that we Suffer for the Love of Him.

"If any one will come after Me, let him deny himself, and
take up his cross daily, and follow Me".
It will be useful to make a few reflections on these words
of Jesus Christ. He says, "If any one will come after Me;"
he does not say, "to me," but, "after me." The Lord desires
that we should come close after him; we must therefore
walk in the same road of thorns and sufferings in which
he walked. He goes before, and does not rest until he
reaches Calvary, where he dies; therefore, if we love him,
we must follow him even to death. And thus it is necessary
that every one should deny himself; that is, that he
should deny himself everything that self-love demands,
but that is not pleasing to Jesus Christ.
Our Lord says further, " Let him take up his cross
daily, and follow Me." Let us consider these last words
one by one. Let him take up ; it avails little to carry the
cross by compulsion; all sinners bear it, but without
merit; to bear it with merit, we must embrace it voluntarily.
His cross ; under this word is implied every kind
of tribulation, which is called a "cross" by Jesus Christ,
in order that the name may render it sweet, from the
thought that he died on the cross for love of us.

He also says, " his cross." Some persons when they
receive spiritual consolations, offer themselves to suffer
as great things as were endured by the martyrs, hot
irons, piercing nails, and tortures; but then they cannot
endure a headache, the carelessness of a friend, the ill
temper of a relative. My brother, my sister, God does
not ask you to endure hot irons, piercing nails, and tortures;
but he desires that you should suffer patiently
this pain, this annoyance, this contempt. A certain nun
would fain go to suffer in a desert; she would perform
great acts of penance; but yet she cannot endure such a
one for her Superior, or such a one for her companion in
her duties; but God desires that she should bear that
cross which he gives her to suffer, and not that which
she would herself choose.

He says daily. Some persons embrace the cross at the
beginning, when it reaches them; but when it lasts long,
they say, "Now I can bear no more." Yet God wills
that we should go on to endure it with patience, and
even that we should bear it continually, even till death.
See, then, that salvation and perfection consist in these
three words, let him deny; we must deny to our self-love
whatever is not right: let him take up; we must embrace
the cross that God gives us: let him follow, we must follow
the footsteps of Jesus Christ even to death.

Let us be persuaded that for this end God keeps us in
the world, that we may bear the crosses he sends us; and
in this consists the merit of our life. Therefore our
Saviour, because he loves us, came into this world, not
for enjoyment, but to suffer, in order that we might follow
in his steps. To this end you were called, because Christ
also suffered for us, leaving you an example that you should
follow his steps. Let us watch him, as he goes before
with his cross, to point out the road by which we must
follow him, if we would be saved Oh, what a joy it is,
in every trouble that befalls us, to say to Jesus Christ,
" Lord, is it Thy will that I should endure this cross ? I
accept it, and will endure it as long as it pleases Thee."
Many persons are delighted to hear one speak of
prayer, of peace, of love to Jesus Christ; but they find
little pleasure in hearing one speak of crosses or of suffering.
These are satisfied so long as the wind breathes
with spiritual delights, but if it ceases, and there comes
some adversity or desolation, in which the Lord hides
himself in order to prove them, and deprives them of
their usual comfort, they leave off prayer, Communion,
and mortifications, and abandon themselves to ill-humor
and lukewarmness, seeking their pleasure from earthly
things But these souls love themselves more than Jesus
Christ; while they who do not love him with an interested
love, for the sake of consolations, but with a pure
love, and only because he is worthy of hove, do not leave
their usual devout exercises for any dryness or weariness
which they experience, being content to please God; and
they offer themselves to suffer this desolation even till
death, and through all eternity, if God so will it. Jesus
Christ, says St. Francis de Sales, is as kind in desolation
as in consolation. Souls that love God find their comfort
and sweetness in suffering; in recollecting that they
suffer for his love, and say, " How sweet it is, O my Lord !
to those who love Thee to suffer for Thee ! Oh, that I
might die for the love of Thee, my Jesus, who hast died
for me !" All this, and still more, is claimed from us by
Jesus Christ, who chose a life of pains, and a bitter death,
without the slightest relief, for love of us; in order to
teach us that if we would love him, we must love him as
he loved us. Oh, how dear to Jesus Christ is a soul which
suffers and loves ! O divine gift ! gift, above every
other gift; to love in suffering, and to suffer in loving !

my Jesus ! Thou alone hast been able to teach us
these maxims of salvation, all contrary to the maxims of
the world; and Thou alone canst give us strength to
suffer crosses with patience. I do not pray Thee to exempt
me from suffering; I only pray Thee to give me
strength to suffer with patience and resignation. O
Eternal Father, Thy Son has promised that whatever we
ask Thee in his name, Thou wilt give it us. Behold,
we ask this of Thee: give us grace to endure with
patience the pains of this life; hear us for the love of
Jesus Christ. And Thou, O my Jesus ! pardon me all
the offenses I have committed against Thee, in that I
have not been willing to suffer with patience the troubles
Thou hast sent me. Give me Thy love, that it may give
me strength to suffer all for love of Thee. Deprive me
of everything, of every earthly good, of relatives, friends,
health of body, of every comfort; deprive me even of life;
but not of Thy love. Give me Thyself, and I ask no
more. O most holy Virgin ! obtain for me an enduring
love for Jesus Christ, even till death.


if you found that interesting, you can read the whole book for free online here - http://www.archive.org/stream/thecompleteascet02liguuoft#page/n7/mode/2up

the first step to seeing the value and meaning of suffering is to love God, but to know why and how suffering enters the world, all you need is to study it from good Catholic literature.
the catholic teaching is, all suffering comes from God, either directly or indirectly, although He does not "cause" suffering, but allows it to come about, and no suffering occurs without His allowing it, because He never allows a suffering unless some good could come from it...but there is one problem with teaching that truth, which is that many Catholics and others learn it, but they learn it without also knowing or understanding the love and care and mercy that is behind it, so they take it bitterly and angrily...so all i have to say about that is, educate yourself on it, because alot of people fall into those kinds of negative feelings on the matter.

alright that's all for now, and if you have any questions at all please ask, cause i'm very happy to help you in any way i can.

alright then, and i'm glad you found that interesting, it's one of my favorite books (Saint Alphonsus is a guy, and doctor of the church)

but to clarify the meaning of suffering in that text, what i wanted to point out is just the beauty in suffering, and how God chose suffering as the means to redeem us, by both the passion of Jesus Christ, and our own sufferings in union with His passion(since we were bought at the price of His passion, so we all must share in it whether we choose to or not)
as far as our free will is concerned, free will is only in what we choose to do with whatever comes our way, whether that be inside our outside ourselves, because while we have the free will to choose, that choice does not go beyond ourselves, although it effects everything around us, but as we know not everything happens according to our own plans, and even then it's always in Gods hands,
the purpose of our free will is not merely to make our own choices in this life with those choices as an end in themselves, the purpose of our free will is instead to choose either to love God or hate Him, which we choose by either being good or being bad, and the purpose of that is love, it is all surrounded by love, because love is something that must be chosen, if it's forced or "taken" then it simply can't be called love at all, and we know that by our own experiences in life, and it can be easy to understand how God loves us and wishes us to love Him, if we just look at those we love, why we love them, or why and how others love us,
of course nowadays love has lost it's identity very much, but perhaps all it takes is to look at the love of your mother, although i can't speak for everyones mother, but as we know, good mothers tend to just give themselves without asking or wanting anything in return from their children, except love...and that's what God wants, He doesn't really ask anything of us, He just wants to love us, and He does that by telling us how to be good so that we will be happy(because sin makes us miserable and enslaves us and sends us to hell) and He sets down rules and guidelines and commandments all for our own good, all with our best interest at heart, just as a loving parent would do, He never thinks of Himself, but only of us, and He doesn't ask anything from us except what is good for us, after all, what could we give Him that doesn't already belong to Him even if He did ask?
the only thing God wants, is to love and be loved, and so if we want to "give" to God, the best way is how He has shown us and what means He has given us, which is in suffering...why? well, although that is certainly not the only means of showing our love, yet it is the means God chose(after sin) because it is the most selfless proof of love, nothing can prove your love more than what you are willing to endure despite your feelings, because anyone can serve God and pray to Him and do good works and all of that when they are feeling good and receiving Gods consolations...but it is those who still persevere in times of desolation and suffering and feelings of abandonment(though God never really leaves us) that truly prove their love...and that is why the saints valued suffering so much, because they loved God so much and wanted to make Him loved as well and as perfectly as they could, they didn't want anything from God but to love Him more...and although that seems like to high a level of sanctity for us to reach, yet God is not demanding such a high level of sanctity from each of us like the saints had, instead all He wants is for us to try and reach for perfection, and to move towards it at the pace we are able to, He doesn't demand that we reach perfection in this life, but only wants us, for our own good, to try, and we can do that best by learning from the life of Jesus and the lives of His saints, who valued suffering and saw all suffering as coming from God out of love for their own good.
and as you read in that chapter i posted - "but God desires that she should bear that cross which he gives her to suffer, and not that which she would herself choose. "

well, i'm sorry i went on writing alot again, i really meant to keep this short, but i do enjoy discussing this topic, so i hope you don't mind.
if you don't want to discuss it further(cause i know i can go on and on e,e ) then all i would like to say is to try and read that book i linked to, because it's helped me so much in having a much deeper understanding of God and how to live in accordance with His will...which is no burden, believe me, it's brought me more happiness and peace...and who wouldn't want that? :>

ok, so that's all for now, take care.

oh, well then yes i agree, in and of itself suffering isn't "good", but suffering as a means of proving and expressing love, and of making reparation for sin, is a very good thing.