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 Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:53 pm
Ra hated Sundays. There was never anything on TV, he was never interested in studying and every minute that passed meant that time edged closer to Monday.
He had turned the communal TV off a while ago, himself and a couple of other students had been watching random Japanese cartoons. Now all the students had gone and he was alone, reading a book he'd found on the shelves in the corner.
It was a yellowed and worn novel, not particularly well written but it was passing the time. Yawning he turned another dog eared page and continued to read.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:10 pm
Chii trudged through the dorm doors. She'd been to her bakery to pick up a few snacks. It should have lightened her spirits, at least it usually did. But not today. She just had too much on her mind. School was getting tougher, she hadn't heard from her parents in a while, and then there was this business with Ra and Jun.
She sighed heavily as she turned the corner with every intention of heading straight to her room, but she didn't get much further. She swallowed slowly. Ra was sitting in the common room reading. She really didn't want to see him right now....she quietly tried to tiptoe her way to her room.
10 ft.....6ft....2ft.....*ring ring* s**t, she thought as she pulled out her cell phone, and switched it off, her back to Ra. That had done it, no use hiding now.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:18 pm
Ra looked up in the direction of the phone ring. Chii stood by the entrance grimacing as she pressed one of the buttons. He wondered why she hadn't said hello. She'd been quiet again, he assumed because of school work.
Sighing he looked back down at the book. Or she was playing the avoiding game again, just when he thought everything was O.k.
"Hey stranger." He said keeping his eyes on the page, yet not reading anything. "You'd make a terrible ninja. Sneaking past people usually calls for silence."
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:25 pm
Chii dropped her hand to her side and raised an eyebrow, but hadn't turned around yet. She was trying to come up with a good comeback....sadly nothing was coming to her...
Defeated, she turned around. "oh yeah? Well, it's a good thing I'm not training to be a ninja then...isn't it." she huffed, one hand on her hip. Stay calm Chii, just tell him you're not feeling well and then go to your room, she tried to tell herself. But it was no use. Flopping her hand off her hip, she trudged over to the couch and plopped down.
"What are you reading?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:35 pm
Ra smirked at her huffing and kept his eyes on the book. He didn't get it...again. If things had been sorted out why was she acting like this with him. He was well within his right to be a bit peeved off.
"Some Irish girly novel." He said holding up the battered bright covered book. He'd thought it might have given him some insight into how the female mind worked...sadly his attempt at research had been unsuccessful.
Give her a chance. his more rational side urged.
"So, how was your day?" He asked plesantly putting the book on the arm of the sofa.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:54 pm
Chii looked up, nodding at the book. She wasn't familiar with it, but then she wasn't a fan of the romance stuff. Too fake for her.
"Didn't take you for the romance novel sort." she started. She knew she needed to tell him. Just tell him...'Ra, I saw Jun the other day'...Easier said than done she thought, as she set her baked goods on the table and brought her feet up onto the couch next to her.
He deserves to know...
"Ok, look. I saw Jun the other day. That's why I've gone a bit...reclusive...lately. I've been meaning to tell you, it's just that this whole thing has gotten crazy. I didn't think he was coming back, and I certainly didn't think he still was interested in me. It was awkward and strange, and nothing happened but I'm still trying to figure everything out in my head. So I'm sorry, for being distant, being a b***h, whatever you want to call it."
She sighed and waited for his response, knowing full well she deserved whatever he was about to dish out.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 12:16 am
"I was bored." He smiled. "I think people took all the good books." He could see she wanted to say something. Well, he'd known as soon as he'd caught her trying to sneak past him that something was up...he wasn't quite prepared for fwhat she told him.
He knew Jun was back. Scarlett had mentioned something about meeting him. He had been slightly worried but after their 'talk' he hadn't been too concerned. This had obviously been a big mistake. He stared at her as she spoke trying to process what she was saying whilst his heart felt like it had stopped beating.
"That's it then?" He asked, his voice level and toneless. "You're not a b***h Chii...I just don't understand what you want me to say, or do? When we kissed you said to me you shouldn't do things if you don't mean it." He stopped unable to put what he was thinking and feeling into good enough words. His voice was calm and soft but there was an edge behind his tone. "I've told you how I feel, I've done everything you asked of me. Did you mean anything you said or did you think that once he came back I'd dissapear and things would go back to normal? I mean Why say all that if you weren't sure?"
Ra looked at her, he wasn't sure he wanted an answer, he wasn't even sure she could give him one. At lthe least he had voiced his concerns. it was all out there now. Nothing could be taken back.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 1:30 am
She coudln't respond, and her heart in her throat wasn't helping. He was right, he'd done what she'd asked, and how had she responded? By throwing it in his face.
She tried to keep tears from forming, she didn't want him to think she was trying to soften him up by crying. She was just so overwhelmed. After keeping her thoughts locked up inside her head for so long she couldn't help it.
"I'm sorry." she said softly. "I don't know what I want you to say, if anything at all. I just...I just wanted you to know..." Rubbing her arm she coudln't bear to look him in the eyes. "I don't know why I said all those things to you...no, that's not true." She stopped herself, wiped the first few tears away and looked up at him.
"I'm selfish Ra, that's why I said those things. Because a part of me wanted to be safe no matter what the outcome, but mostly because the thought of you with someone else hurts..I didn't want anyone else to have you...more than I'd expected...and I know I don't have the right to say that, or to expect you to just accept thatanswer. I know I wouldn't, but it's the truth." And it really was, she wasn't holding anything back. She wasn't hiding anymore, but it was quite possible that she was too late.
"But that isn't to say that I didn't mean every word. I'm a mess of emotions right now, and still trying to figure it all out. I've been hoping to find a way to not hurt anyone, but I'm starting to think that isn't going to be possible." She lowered her head. "So maybe if I shoulder all the blame you and Jun won't get hurt. I don't know. I never meant for anyone to get hurt."
She sighed again, brushing her hair from her face, then met his eyes again. "You deserve better Ra. Someone who isn't so immature, or confused. Someone like Scarlett, who has her stuff together, and knows exactly what she's doing." Standing up, she gathered her belongings, and walked over to Ra. Once there she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I'm sorry I couldn't be that girl for you."
With that, she turned to leave the tears already beginning to fall once again.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:06 am
((wah! You like to keep me on my toes. sweatdrop ))
Ra sat still as she spoke, watching he cry he made no move to comfort her. Not that he didn't want to, he did. He also wanted to hear what she had to say. Let her speak.
He was still trying to process what she was saying in his head when she got up to walk away. Not really thinking he stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Wait." He said firmly. "I've listened to you, now you have to listen to me." He said moving to face her. "If you want to be with me and you don't want me to be with anyone else then fine. No problem, I'm yours. If you're selfish, so am I. Every time you mention Jun it hurts. Because I feel the same. I know to see you with anyone else would hurt too much." He sighed and looked to the floor a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "And I don't know where you managed to get all this. 'I deserve someone better,' crap from. I don't want to go out with a girl like Scarlett. I don't want "that girl." I like you Chii, I kissed you, I'm appealing to you."
He looked up again and into her eyes. "Don't ever think you're not worthy of someone, or that someone doesn't deserve you." He realised his voice was raised. Taking a breath he continued. "I've been thinking about this a lot, the only way you can stop people getting hurt is to stop hiding. If you want to be with me then you need to speak to Jun and you need to tell him about us. I'm sure he'll understand. The longer you leave it the more you risk hurting him and more importantly yourself. I want us to be together, but the only way we are going to work is if you speak to him. He needs to know."
There, he had said it. It was a jumbled mess but he couldn't let her walk away like that. With everything still hanging in the air.
"There, now you can leave if you want...or you can sit back down and I'll make you some tea to go with those cakes." He smiled gesturing to the bakery bag.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:04 pm
Chii's heart stopped as she felt Ra's hand on her shoulder. Had she really wanted him to come after her? To stop her? Perhaps, even she didn't know anymore. Everything before her was nothing but a blur.
Listening to Ra Chii tried to contain her tears, but they wouldn't stop, they just continued to flow, slowly, softly, rolling down her cheeks. It wasn't so much out of sadness, or desperation, just exhaustion. Maybe it would be better to leave both of them, she wondered.
Raising her head to meet Ra's eyes, Chii was filled with all the same emotions and thoughts....Ra was wonderful, understanding, funny, intelligent, cheeky, assertive...So what's wrong with me...why is this so hard.. How was she supposed to tell Ra that she was afraid...afraid of what Jun would say. Was she really such a coward?
"You're absolutely right." She finally said, nodding slightly to herself. "I need to stop hiding, but I'm ashamed to say that I'm scared...of what he'll say. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. But I think..." she hesitated. "I think if I know that you're here, waiting for me, I'll be alright." She looked up at him, holding his eyes with hers.
"I'd love some tea." she smiled. "But don't think you're getting any of these goodies." she said, jostling the bag in front of him.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:55 pm
Watching her cry and trying to stay unmoved was killing him. He forced himself to stand still, unemotional and listen to her answer. He wanted to know that he could believe it this time.
Once she finished he moved towards her and drew her into a hug. Trying not to squish the baked goods as he wrapped his arms around her. He could understand her trepidation at the thought of speaking to Jun. Yet guessed she had let the thoughts escalate in her mind. Surely things would not go as bad as she thought.
"I've told you I'm here for you." He said softly resting his forehead against hers. "When you speak to him I'll be waiting with tea and a hug, or three."
Smiling he released her and took her hand.
"Well, take a seat and leave the tea making to me." He said leading her in the direction of the sofa. "Oh and don't worry." He began, an impish grin spreading over his face. "I won't touch your goodies." a pause. "Well not without permission anyway."
((ahahaha....sorry...I just couldn't leave that oppertunity for innuendo!!))
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:14 pm
Chii nuzzled against Ra as he hugged her. Why did he have to be so damn kind ot her...warm too, and always smells so good. She smiled, "Forget the tea, I just want the hugs. Lots and lots of hugs." She didn't want the hug to end, and as he drew away a small cry escaped her lips.
Being lead to the couch Chii felt a cool wave of release wash over her, and she couldn't stop grinning as he sat her down and told her to wait for tea.
She was just about to go on as if she'd never heard Ra's comment, but then it hit her...she blushed madly. "RA!" she exclaimed, then grinned. "I guess it depends how good the tea is..."
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:07 pm
Ra set about making the tea, well he didn't actually have any tea with him. Instead he went to the vending machines in the corner and purchased two cups of the tea that usually tasted slightly of coffee.
"Err, sorry." He said placing the two plastic cups down on the worn coffee table. "It's pretty terrible tea really. In my opinion, any tea is better than no tea." He laughed sitting down next to her on the comfy sofa.
"Well, this way you get tea and lots of hugs." He grinned sliding an arm around her shoulders. "Though you might want to give the tea a miss." He said raising an eyebrow at the two containers of murkey grey tea.
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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:17 pm
And there was much hugging.
~~ Fade to black ~~
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