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 Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:09 am
We're all writers here. So post your work and get helpful hints!
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:10 am
Ooooh good idea xp Get you Vince!
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:34 am
Meadow of Roses
Dancing thru the meadow of roses,
sharpened fingers grasp my skirt,
carelessly scraping my beating legs.
Running thru the singeing of pain,
glistening rubies forming on my skin,
tiniting me a glorious red.
Romping thru the meadow of roses,
entangled thicket reaching my shoulders,
relentlessly clawing at my arms and face.
Continuing thru the thoughts of pain,
elevating concerns of my destination,
drifting towards ideas of abortion.
Pushing thru the meadow of roses,
disembodied light pulling me closer,
tirelessly comforting my restless mind.
Gliding thru the tortures of pain,
closing in on the heavenly place,
walking thru those golden gates.
leaving thru the meadow of roses,
feathered wings growing from me,
accepting my newfound home and immortality.
(C) Moi. =B
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:46 am
The Rain
Like the rain, your tension consumes me,
drenching my being til I am gone,
you're drowning me in your harsh flood of verbal slander,
you can't bring me back, I'm too far downstream.
The thunder booms as the table is turned,
flying across the room, barely missing me as I evade,
things are being broken, in more ways than one,
shards of what once was tear at my flesh.
Your razor sharp words cut like lightening,
so fast I didn't notice until they've done their damage,
you curse eachother before storming away,
brooding until the next storm.
The sky lets up, and the sun breaks through,
lighting up the battle field, until the next storm,
two storm clouds separate, and drift apart to different lands,
leaving me 'tween the two, I can't be happy anymore.
(C) Moi
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Nolah de Fanel Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:36 am
I don't usually comment on poetry because I always ignore technicalities and such, I'm one of those 'if I read a poem I like, then that's it, I like it' and I tend to be harsh on poetry because I'm so much a prose person but I really like your poems Shi, I really do. I'd give constructive critism but I don't know what to say sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 6:36 am
^^; Thanks~
The Rain was written like...forever ago. I've got some other things I plan on forcing you people to read I plan on showing you all. XD
Tee hee?
Just a little heads-up, my poems aren't morbid! They're just complex and CRAMMED with double meanings, metaphors, random references, and crazy s**t like that that I like to use to confuse people and things like that that make my poetry "unique".
x3
NOW BACK TO GERMAN!! Blasted menus...
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 6:42 am
An example of my crazy double-meaning-ness, and such.
Oxymoronic Dream Flying on a Stray Feather
Flying free on eagle's broad wings,
parchment of the feathered kings,
scribbling down emotions, feelings,
the swan cries and the mocking gale sings.
Hopes of better tomorrows,
drowning away the petty sorrows,
gasping for a break from invalid woes,
shattering the mask that always shows.
Masqarade of feathered lightening,
dawning of a new age is brightening,
not all that glitters is frightening,
dismal plains of cheery enlightening.
Cantering in the newfound light,
praying for an end to the dieing night,
pleasure is drawn from every bite,
symphony of elephants taking flight.
Imposition on the gracious host,
real delusions of a living ghost,
reflections in the waters of the ice green coast,
to eternal spring buttercups toast.
Heavenly bodies unite in hell,
to greedy intentions the mighty are fell,
in the dark of the mind impurities dwell,
overshadowing the desparate voices from the well.
The sound of rain on the glass,
crystal fakes of the masking class,
horns of glory and holy infantile brass,
dirty fellows trample the dewed grass.
Incompetent desires of fallen doves,
missing out on the hidden loves,
crying out to the high aboves,
against the tide the weakling shoves.
(c) Moi.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 10:13 am
Out of the three that you posted, this one is my favorite. I really love the wording, so many people use cliches like 'all that glitters is not gold' but you changed it to 'all that glitters is not frightening'...I especially love the first verse...stanza whatever it's called. I told you I know nothing technical about poetry.
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Nolah de Fanel Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:40 am
Stanza, yes. But, s'all good. ^_^
Thanks~
But yes, this is among my favorites of my own stuffs, too. It's just so...WHEEEEEEE?!?!?!
Yeah.
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:39 pm
eek Wow Shi. That was really good. eek
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:40 pm
Watersprite79 eek Wow Shi. That was really good. eek Thanks, lovey. heart Glad to see people like it. ^_^
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:27 pm
Hmmm... this is a good idea.
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