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 Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 1:43 am
Well That Was Fun. Byes =)
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 5:28 am
Just wanted to say sorry again. And I had important things to say to you that I had been planning on saying for over a week now, and suddenly I feel like I can't because you're going to relate it all back to this. But it's not related to this. So we'll just scratch that and I'll start over. I just feel like I never get to say how I feel anymore (my own fault), and even you say that I "never say what I'm thinking" and you're right, because I'm scared to death to say what I'm thinking or how I feel because you are so pessimistic about everything. Your facebook status that you just posted? You're wrong. You've made me smile so many more times than I've made myself cry. Bad moments are a given, they happen. You can't really get through life without them. The point is, you and only you make the bad times worth it. I hate my life, I hate everything about it, the only thing that makes it worth it is you, and I don't even care if you have decided not to reciprocate that because you're important to me and that's what matters. I feel like I'm a joke to you though, "Look at that stupid little girl who thinks she's in love with me. Making up fake emotions as she goes along." But again, you're soooo wrong about that... Maybe I'm still young and naive but I know how I feel... And I know I don't need sight and lack of distance to love someone for the person they are--and you can't deny that I know you pretty well.
I wish I could explain to you why you're not the "a*****e" that you always say you are but you don't get it. and I don't know how to say it any better than I already have. You're my whole world in a nutshell, Cory Blake. I can't function without you. When I don't hear from you it scares me, and when you're in your pessimistic moods it scares me even more, and yet even through all of that I can't help but think of you constantly and smile because I know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
And you're my best friend and there's no one on earth that I can talk to the way I talk to you, and no one but you that I can REALLY be myself with, and no one I can trust as much as you....
You know, I really don't even know why I'm saying any of this s**t. Because it's not going to change anything, just like it's never changed anything before. You don't want me. And if I have to, I can live with that, as long as I don't lose you for good. But I don't think you're being honest with yourself... I guess that's really up to you though...
I've been writing this for 3 hours and I have forgotten everything else I was going to say and re-reading this I don't think I've said anything I planned to say O.o But I guess that can wait..
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