1. It's a little known fact that baking soda absorbs smells. If your home is smelly from your pets, pour baking soda on the carpet and then vacuum it. Like magic, the smells disappear.
2. Whenever you go to a fast food place, especially one that is a large chain (e.g. McDonald's, Burger King), and you order French fries, specifically request no salt on your fries. You may wait a little longer, but they create a fresh batch of fries just for you without putting any salt on them and your fries are hot and fresh. For those who are health conscious, they taste pretty good without salt. For those who really want the flavor, you can sprinkle a little table salt or salt packets on them.
3. Whenever you get in a car accident and it isn't your fault, when the police officer is asking questions, if you can tell him you are injured, do so. The insurance company will bend over backwards to make you happy. I'm not suggesting anyone lie. All I'm saying is that if the report says "Accident with injury," the insurance company will move heaven and earth to fix your car.
4. When waiting for a flight at an airport, always offer to take a bump if you have the time. If your flight is overbooked, it will make the flight gate attendant's life a whole lot better, and you will be compensated handsomely for it. First class, free food, free movies, etc. Even if you don't think it's overbooked, it's a good idea to offer to do so. If it becomes overbooked during the wait, you will be the first person they ask.
5. Lose a charger for something? Don't bother to go to the store and buy a new one. First, ask at your nearest hotel. Tell them you think you lost it there. Cell phone chargers are the #1 thing left behind at hotels, and most of them have lost and found bins completely full of them. The chances are high that you'll find one to match your device, especially if it's an iPod or a USB charger.
6. If one of your games isn't working because it's scratched, rent the same game and switch it out.
7. Whenever buying something expensive from Apple, create an account and spec everything out the way you like it, but do not buy it. Do nothing for about 7-10 days. You should then get a call or an email from Apple offering if you'd like to buy it then with a discount of 15-20%.
8. If at some sort of club or concert and you don't want to pay $5-$10 for a bottle of water, tell someone on staff or crew that you were given some kind of pill and you feel very dehydrated. The last thing they want is a hospital run, so they are otherwise legally obligated to give you some water.
9. Don't get the special of the day at whatever restaurant you go to. It is typically food that is about to go bad. They need to get rid of it and make a profit somehow.
10. McDonald's will put Big Mac sauce on anything free of charge. Instead of a Big Mac, get two McDoubles and ask for Mac Sauce on each. It's essentially the same thing as a Big Mac and two dollars cheaper.
11. During the summer, shave and shower in the morning. In the winter, shave and shower at night. Shaving and washing gets rid of the accumulated fat layer that helps protect your face and body from cold air. That way if you are outside, the cold wind will feel less bitter in the winter, and you will be not as hot or humid in the summer.
12. When writing an essay that requires actual page length instead of words, use Microsoft Word's Find feature to find all punctuation and then increase the font size from 12 to 14. It will lengthen the length dramatically, yet it is unnoticeable once printed.
13. When making Jell-O, use soda instead of water. It's carbonated, slightly fizzy, and much, MUCH sweeter. It will get frothy when mixing, but don't worry, the foam will go away.
14. If you tip the pizza guy well, he will usually deliver your pizza first. My pizza normally costs around $17. I give him a $20 and tell him to keep the change. They tell me that my pizza will arrive around 45 minutes, but it gets here sometimes under 20.
15. Subway has no reliable way of doing inventory, so if you know a friend who works there, he can probably hook you up with a free sub.
16. Disneyland and most major theme parks have single rider passes. Using these will allow you to get to the front of the line. Also, at Six Flags you can normally just walk past people in line. When you get to the front, exclaim that you are a single rider. There are almost ALWAYS open single seats at roller coaster parks.
17. Be nice. Customer service doesn't get a lot of very kind calls. If you are very polite, they are much more likely to do what you want.
18. Don't waste money on a gym membership if all you want to do is lose weight, build a decent amount of muscle and gain strength. All you need to know how to do is pushups, pull-ups, dips, planks, Superman, sit-ups, squats, and deadlifts. They work out the entire body and don't require any fancy equipment or a membership at a gym.
19. Two words: lucid dreaming. It will change your life.
20. Another Subway trick. Once you customize your sub, pretend you have no money (or if you really don't). The odds are basically zero that someone will want the specific sub you ordered, so their only options are 1. throw out the sub, or 2. give it to you free of charge. I've done this and it's worked about 70% of the time. The other 30% were hardly even pissed at all, so it's not like you have anything to lose.
21. If you boil water before freezing it, you will have crystal clear ice.
22. Contrary to popular belief, hot water freezes faster than cold water. Win-win.
23. Similar to tip five, if you want free headphones, go to your nearest gym. Work out there once or twice and bring an iPod to avoid arousing suspicion. Come back there a day later and tell them you lost a pair of headphones. Give them a vague description. Black is the most common color for good headphones, but white iPod generics works fine too. When they come back with a pair, say "Thank you! Those are mine!" very loudly with a smile, you tricky b*****d, heheheh. And voila! Free headphones.
24. If you buy an expensive new game and you don't like it, take it to Walmart and say you bought it there and it doesn't work. They'll give you a new copy of the same game. Go back there tomorrow and ask to exchange it for a different game. Obviously, don't open it between those days or they won't let you exchange it.
25. While getting a drink in a bar or a restaurant, if there is the tiniest thing wrong, complain about it and they will give you something free to make you happy.
26. If you have a stuffy nose, push the roof of your mouth with your tongue and put a finger on the spot between your eyebrows and press simultaneously. This can unblock your nose.
27. If you have a brain freeze, cover the roof of your mouth with your tongue. Brain freezes are mental. Your brain isn't actually cold, it's your mouth that's cold. But for some reason, the brain thinks it's cold as well and activates nerves there. Using your tongue to heat the roof of your mouth will stop the brain freeze.
28. When you go to the movies, when you get your ticket, fold the stub part they tear off underneath. The ticket taker assumes they've already torn your stub. Once the movie is over, ask for a refund for your ticket because your friend didn't show up.
29. Drinking a shot of vinegar (you can mix it with something sweet) will keep mosquitoes off of you. Also, if you stay calm and avoid getting frustrated, they won't sting you.
30. If you put ice cream in a cone, stuff a mini marshmallow in the bottom of the cone first. That will keep ice cream from dripping out of the bottom, and plus, it's edible. You can also do this with a normal sized marshmallow, but you can't get as much ice cream in the cone then.
31. Another McDonald's cash saver. The large drink is $2, but the sweet tea is only $1, and the container is larger than a large drink. So, order the sweet tea, and either drink it or pour it out in a cup and give it to someone. Then, fill it up with pop from the machine.
32. To prevent shortness of breath and side stitches while running, exhale when your left foot hits the ground instead of your right. Your diaphragm will put pressure on your liver if you exhale on the right foot.
33. If you have a splinter, apply Elmer's Glue to it and allow it to dry. Once it's dry, pull it off your skin and the splinter will come right out.
34. For folks in the UK, if you enroll in a university library, you can show this when asked for ID when buying liquor. The salesman will assume this means you are attending the university and thus over 18. Disclaimer: I do not condone underage drinking or the sales of alcoholic beverages to minors. This is simply a trick if you, say, forgot your ID or something. Wink wink.
...because reality is finally better than your dreams...
