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Fox's Pendulum Prologue (Review?)

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FranchizeContax

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 9:16 pm


Prologue:

It has always been a folk tale of the ancient culture, people changing into creatures they weren't born as. The alteration of people has become common knowledge and has been accepted into everyday life. Overtime, the transition of species has slowly been lost, for many generations have been unable to choose more than one shift. Woodrow was no different.
The padded footsteps were unheard throughout the forest. The gold, chained watch dangled from his scruff as he ran from the other creatures behind him. He felt as if they were on his heels, his rapid heartbeat pounded against his ears as he maneuvered rocks and twigs.
The white fox spied the approaching creek and leaped for the rock along the edge of the moving water. His glazed eyes glimpsed behind him at the dark forest. No sign of shadows or movement hinted that anything was there. A small breeze brushed his fur lightly as he started to ease his muscles. Then the dark figures bared thair fangs and released a low but loud screech.
The fox was caught off gaurd, slipped off the mossy rock, and struggled in the water. Blindly, he ran to the edge of the water. He stumbled off, the sound of the waterfall had finally made its' way into his ears as if it had been un-muted. His small body tossed in the air as the rocks in the river below him advanced toward him at great speed. With a great impact, the liquid engulfed the small creature, giving him a needle-like bite. The dark creatures looked from above and vanished over the edge.
Unable to make any voluntary movements, the fox swirved within the current, ramming into the rocks hidden in the river. His vision blurred and soon vanished. The chain let go of its' grip on the unconscious fox and went on a different path through the water. As the fox continued deeper in the water and farther from the waterfall, the pednulum had washed ashore on the multicolored gravel.
The moonlight shined on the water giving off a gleam on the surface. As the current began to calm, the fox swayed with the water to the soft-grounded shore. He began to choke up the water, but remained still. His vision blurred as he tried to understand his surroundings. Feeling the emptiness around his scruff, he began to stumble to a stance. Without any strength, he collapses into a deep sleep.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:06 am


Yes, but you could have worded it a little better. biggrin

ImaginexInspirex


FranchizeContax

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:39 pm


Dark alexandra11
Yes, but you could have worded it a little better. biggrin

Ya I noticed those, my boyfriend went through it sweatdrop
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:28 am


Other than that, It's great!!! 3nodding

ImaginexInspirex

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