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 Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:03 am
Well, I'm writing a poem, obviously, and I'm having a problem. I cant think of a good way to start it... or to end it. It's meant to embody the feeling of having everything against you and it's positively driving you mad.
There's this voice inside,
there's this tiny little voice inside;
it's echoing over and over...
Perhaps it's something in the water,
or something in the breeze;
'Let this insanity claim you,'
I can feel it scream.
Tare this soul from my flesh;
strip it bare and behold;
it feels almost like there's nothing there.
Perhaps it's something in the water,
or something in the breeze;
'Let this insanity claim you,'
I can feel it scream.
It's just an echo in the air,
A wisper in the winds now caught;
'This insanity- let it claim you,'
It's just an echo that never ends...
/emo
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:25 am
It's not bad as it is. Though it does leave one wondering how they got there. So maybe add a preface?
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:29 am
Hmm... Well, that makes sence. I had something before but it just kinda gave off the wrong, uh, vibe. So I got rid of it... Hmm....
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 6:44 pm
....
Darkness holds my life
It's all in despair
Yet the world doesn't care
Then I find it's all in my mind
...for a beginning?
*just trying to help and probably failing miserably* YAY! GO MY SUCKINESS!!!!!!!! W00T!
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:33 am
I like what you have done.
Not sure if it needs anything.
I supposse it depends how it's read and what it says to someone.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:14 pm
the call
I feel it
it comes in as I hide
yet nothing can block it
this horide sound it crys
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:16 pm
no that will just ruin it its so good.. dont listen to me... I am so bad at this stuff.. I just write to get out the pain.. nothing for real... I mean nothing that is supost to be good
although it is fun to share xd
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Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 6:52 pm
It's just an echo in the air,
A wisper in the winds now caught;
'This insanity- let it claim you,'
It's just an echo that never ends...
until it claims the one who it seeks and devours them completely. So I fight it everday in vain. Everyday is harder than the next, the echo get louder to the point I get no rest. It is breaking me down I know, it won't be long til it grabs hold. I still fight everday,praying that it will just be wished away.
How is that for an ending? It sucks I know, but I can't really get a hold of it because I know nothing about you.
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