It's been nearly a week since it happened. It was a complete shock for us all. No one would have ever expected that such a bright and beaming boy like your brother would attempt to kill himself. I can't imagine what you were like when you went into his room and saw him hanging. You quickly cut the rope and got it off him. He wasn't breathing, no pulse. The medics were there within 5 minutes and somehow, got him breathing again. He suffered major trachea damage and possibly even some brain. He's in the hospital nearly a 3 hour drive away on a breathing machine, he can't move or talk. At this point no one knows whether he'll make it out okay. For the past 2 er 3 months we've slowly friends through your brother. We talk every-night often from 10 P.M. till 3 in the morning. You're still beaten, stressed, broken down. Everytime I see you, you have fresh tears on your face, your voice shows no hint of the joyfulness I'm used to hearing, your eye's show no hint of that bright shade of blue I used to love seeing, you look as though you've completely lost all hope...and I know that you have. Even though you tell people your O.K. I know your not. I've written countless poems specifically for you, I call you pretty, perfect, everything under the damned sun to try and cheer you up, though I can tell your still just as hollow as you were. I say everything's gunna be O.K., that I Know your brother he's gunna fight through this, that he's gunna make it, when deep down I doubt my own words. Ever since it happened, I've gone into the same hollowed state as you, and though most people think it's because of your older brother, in reality it's because of you, knowing that I can't cheer you up, knowing that I'm one of a few people that your still talking to, hearing the hopelessness in your voice. It's destroying me and I can't stop because I worry that you'll choose the same fate and it Tears Me Up knowing that you'll continue to be depressed and there's nothing I can do. I can't stop talking to you because deep down....I really really like you.