I am currently working on a book and one night, while trying to fall asleep, I thought of this one part that I had to put on paper. So, I took out my notebook and wrote it down. Now, I would like to hear your thoughts, advice, constructive critisism, ect. Please post them after reading this passage.
I guess I should tell you a little about the book before I have you read the excerpt. The main character is Kella (Kell) Connery. When her family is chosen to send a man off to war, she asks to take her father's place (who is the only male in the family and lost an arm from a previous war). She is permitted to do so mainly because of the armys need for soldiers and her skill in archery. Kell and a group of men, who include her childhood friend Archer and his cousin Kade, are sent to a camp where they will be trained for war with nearby villages. The men at the camp make fun of Kell because she is a girl and they think she is weak. This excerpt begins with Archer trying to make the men leave Kell alone after one of the men suggests she proves her strength in a fight and she agrees. Here it is:
"Leave her alone." Archer said sternly to the jeering men. "Come on Kell. You need to get back to your tent." He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the crowd.
When they were in front of Kell's tent, Archer's grip slackened and Kell yanked her arm from his grasp.
"Archer!" she said angrily. "What did you do that for? I could have taken them easily."
"You shouldn't be getting into fights."
"And why not?" Kell asked, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.
"Because you could get hurt!" Archer exclamed, as though the answer was obvious.
"Archer, we are going to war. I am probably going to get hurt, whether it's here or on the battle field."
"Listen. I promised your father I would protect you and believe me, I plan on keeping that promise."
"You know very well that I am perfectly capable of protecting myself." Kell told Archer. "You said yourself I am a skilled warrior."
"I know." Archer said. "It's just-just-"
"Just what?" Kell asked, ehr voice rising with her anger. "Where you lying? Is that it? You don't think I have what it takes to go to war?"
"No! Ir's not that! It's just-"
"Just what?!" Kell shouted, losing her patience. "Spit it out!"
"I can't lose you!" Arcehr blurted, grabbing Kell's arms and shaking her slightly.
Kell looked at her friend in surprise and her anger at him completely dissapeared. He closed his eyes and hung his head in anguish, as though the mere thought of her death caused him great pain.
"I can't lose you." he said, shaking his head. "I can't. I can't."
It was then that Kell realized how Archer really felt about her. And how she felt about him.
"Archer." she said softly to him. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes, a pained expression still etched on his face.
"You won't lose me." Kell said, stepping closer to him. "I promise."
She pressed her lips gently against his and during that moment they both entered complete bliss. They were the only two people in the world. The worries of war and what the future held for them were forgoten. All that mattered was the feel of her soft, silky hair under his hand and the way his lips fit perfectly into hers.
That's all I have for now. Like I said before, please leave your advice, thoughts, constructive critism, ect. below. I would love to hear what you have to say.
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