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Poem: Courage

ninjapwnX3

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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:32 pm

Mock me, beat me, make me bleed.
All you do is make me stronger.
The promise of tomorrow drives me.
The love of my friends heals me.
The courage to face tomorrow keeps me alive.
Courage is not hard to obtain.
All you need is an open heart.

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:57 pm

personally i would get rid of the comas. you can use them occasionally to add emphasis but in this poem my eyes went crazy. i would also do a couple more rewrites. i can see this poem going somewhere but i think you need to clean it up a bit. sorry i am being a bit critical! good jab though!!! biggrin

melpomeny

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ninjapwnX3

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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:20 pm

lol, u mean periods? but thanks for the feedback it helps alot 3nodding

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