No, I didn't misspell it. Yes, it was intentional. Why? Because I hate the holidays. I hate what they've become, and I hate what people transform into in the middle of it. What, specifically, is wrong with it? Let's start with:



1.) The 37,286 people in line in a store, confusing cashiers because they're separating things onto 17 different transactions, including 9 Layaways.



2.) The 49,482,765 cars out on every conceivable interstate and backroad either going somewhere to shop, or going to look at holiday lights. These people, incidentally, don't pay attention to where the hell they're going, and attempt to cause wrecks, thus making me even more late for work, despite my leaving a full hour before the start of my shift to make a 20-minute drive.



3.) The 219,428 Christmas parties every weekend - that somehow all seem to take place in my building. Because of the number of people coming in and out of said parties, two elevators in my building have now broken down. There are 5 elevators in total. The law of averages is not good.



4.) The constant nagging of people asking what people want for Christmas. Then when you tell someone what you want, they make up a reason they can't get it for you.



5.) Family. Everybody has family, or other generic loved ones to spend the holidays with. Husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. Me? No such luck. Once again, I'll be single for Christmas, with my family safely ensconced in their respective homes, my friends visiting family, and me stuck at work. Not just a pair of 12-hour shifts at Citadel, oh no. I get to work those plus a 4-hour shift at Spinx. Goody, goody! I get to be alone and sleep-deprived!



6.) People in general. Especially the ones who are going to look at this and say, "You're so mean-spirited," or "You're wrong. Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy for the world, a time to spend with loved ones. It's not the capitalist nightmare you're making it out to be." I'll get approximately 17 of these statements before the end of the year. All 17 will immediately be followed by the sounds of wrapping paper being demolished in a feverish attempt to obtain whatever new items these erstwhile lecturers have received.



Long story short, the holidays get on my bad side in the worst ways. If I could tell them to ******** off before shooting them in the face, I would.