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Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2005 6:31 pm
Writing this was so much fun, however, I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to write something like this again unless I have another ''spur of the moment let's make fun of things'' writing session. However, I hope you enjoy it!
Title: Rant 911
It was a long hall; but not one of those halls in which you run and run and run and can't ever seem to reach the end. I reached the end just fine, nothing bad happened.
Until I opened the door, that is.
I opened it, and found myself in a dream. Not a dream you have when you sleep, well, I guess it couldn't really be called a dream. It's more like a situation that you could mistake for a dream and wouldn't ever believe. Well, you wouldn't believe it except for the tiny fact that it's actually happening to you.
You see, I'm what most would call paranoid. No one told me that, I just assumed. I mean, how else could I explain all the conspiracies in my life? Yeah, it's all in my head.
Right.
Anyways, so I entered the room, and there's conspiracy number one brewing away on high. Come on here! I enter the room and they looked at me, and, you'll never believe this, but they smiled at me. Yes, smiled! The one sign that everything is about to blow up in your face is a smile. Before a break-up, a smile. Before you get your teeth pulled, a smile. Why would this situation be any different?
So I walk in, only wanting to stay a moment and pick up a bag of candy, maybe say a word or two to the person nearest me. Once I saw those smiles, I knew that wasn''t happening. "So," I said, dragging out the word. A silence filled the room. "Got those shirt designs figured out yet?"
"We're working on it, don't worry."
I smiled, which as I mentioned before, means the apocalypse is coming. "Okay then. I better get that candy and get back to practice." I headed for the back of the room, and found myself being followed. "Can I help you?"
"I figured we'd bag stuff now too, you know, now that the stuff is out and all."
"What about-"
"Don't worry. Everything is under control."
I gave a weak laugh as I handed my money to the teacher and headed for the door. I could already feel the conspiracy growing into some uncontrollable force.
Too bad conspiracy number two made me forget about conspiracy one, or I may have been prepared for the inevitable. Well, before that, conspiracy two- operation clean your room. I don't how she does it, but she always gets me to clean my room. I mean, what's with mothers and clean rooms anyways? Apparently, the new thing is when the kid turns seventeen, you act like they are in charge of their life. Well, I didn't get that memo, so I walk into my room, mom trailing behind, and I cringe. I know the lecture is coming as soon as I see last semester's homework spread across the floor, with a nice neat pile of dust right next-door collecting under the clothes I wore yesterday and threw aside, hoping to get one more wear out of them. "Sorry about the room mom. It's just I'm busy and-"
"You're old enough to decide if your room should be clean or not." She leaves me with my mouth hanging open. I mean, how could she do that? How did she do that? Is this some sort of reverse psychology I don't know about?
Needless to say, my room was spotless by the end of the night.
So ended conspiracy two. Back to one. So, I figured out why those smiles were on everyone's faces the next day. They did maybe two out of five things on that little list I left them. I guess they forgot how to read or something. I'm sure whatever their excuse, it's a good one.
Uh-huh. Sure.
Well, being leader and all, I'm the one that looks bad when not everything is up to date and completed. Well, I would have been, if I hadn't handed the stage over to yesterday's committee. I guess no one likes looking bad, since I got more death glares than normal that day.
But you know, I kinda like it. I mean, people are strange, and the things they do are insane. I know I''m a person too, and I have problems. It's just I can't stand emoness, unless it's my own. Hypocritical? I'd say so. Human nature? I'd agree with that too. Either way, it's makes life almost as believable as a dream.
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:57 pm
*shaking my head...*
"Wow, I never though i could be that confused by a stroy. Very good! I loved it!"
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Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 5:45 pm
I didn't quite understand conspiracy number one ( xd ) but your character is awsome. Characters with little quirks like paranoia or sarcasm are usually very likable. I saw one typo. It didn't detract at all, but I had to pause. ^^ Quote: They did maybe two out offive things on that little list I left them. It's a very cute short little story. I enjoyed it. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:21 pm
Oops, darn typos! I'm glad you both liked it! Maybe I should fix the typo... *remembers last time she tried to do anything complicated with a computer and shivers* Maybe not. Thanks for responding!
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The Bookwyrm Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:51 pm
Your room sound slike my room! I'm 21, and my dorm room still looks like a bomb went off in it six days out of seven. blaugh
Very nice take on "one of those days." I think we can all relate to this story in our own way. I absolutely love the suspicion of smiles!
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 5:39 am
It was good. Confussing, but in the good way. Paraiod thought process was very good. there were one or wo typos, but *chringing at the thought of her own typos* it doesn't matter. I loved it.
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 9:54 am
This originally was just a thread for one story, but I decided to use it for my other short stories as well! Okay, this next one is something I wrote a few months back, meaning I've changed it about seventy times and will probably change it again. Just a little view on the complications of relationships...
Title: Momentary Reflection
The vegetables sizzled in the pot, the peas popping from time to time. She stirred them monotonously, smelling the sweet aroma of the soon to be lunch. She looked up momentarily as she heard laughter from the backroom and the triumphant cry of one of her friends. She smiled, happy that they had a chance to just hang-out, eat lunch, and play video games all day. She remembered a time when things weren't so simple- friends would never approve of it or parents didn't trust mixed company.
She spooned out equal portions as she called out, "Hey you two, stop your gaming and come eat!"
Immediately the two scrambled from the backroom as they spontaneously decided through a competitive shove that this too would be a game. "Hey, that's no fair!" The youngest screeched as she grabbed his collar to keep him from beating her to the kitchen.
"Hey, watch the shirt! I don't want to stretch out another one!" He shoved back, managing to get her away long enough to allow him the victory. He threw himself into the chair he knew she wanted and stuck out his tongue as she began to pout. "Now now, that won't get you anywhere, you know."
"Argh, you did that just to upset me, didn't you!" She took the seat next to him and laughed again. "Aw, I can't stay mad at you."
The oldest, and the one assigned the job of cooking since they were at her apartment, set two plates in front of them, adding as she went to fetch her own plate, "Will you two just become a couple and save me the trouble of hooking you up? And while you're at it, stop acting so childish!"
"Yes Mommy!" They answered in unison, sending up a chorus of giggles immediately after.
"You two give college students a bad name." The oldest smiled as she sat down with her own meal. "Now, don't blame me if you get sick. I've never cooked this before, so I still have to work out the bugs."
"Great, we're going to die thanks to you. If it's my last meal you better be sure it tastes good." He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork and quickly swallowed, then grabbed his throat. "Oh my gosh! It's so great I'm afraid I'm going to die! Help me!"
The youngest began squeaking amongst her giggles, while the oldest kicked him under the table. "That's not funny," she managed to say between laughs. "Now come on and calm down and eat, unless you want me to force feed you."
"No way! I can do it myself!" With that, he shoved another forkful in his mouth. "See?"
"Alright, alright, so, what do we want to do now that exams are over?"
"Go see a movie!"
"Go to the bowling alley!"
The oldest smiled as she said, "Well then, I guess we're going to be busy tonight."
The youngest wolfed down her food and then jumped up from the table. "I'll be outside if anyone needs me!" She ran for the door and waved at someone, leaving her two friends with their half-full plates.
Deciding she was done, the oldest grabbed her plate and her friend's dish and went to scrape them clean. Looking over at her male friend, she sighed. "You know where she's going as well as I do."
"Yeah."
"You can't expect her to wait forever."
"I know."
"She'll find someone else."
"I think she already has."
"Not yet. She doesn't want to give up hope on you two."
He shook his head. "I can't handle a relationship right now."
"Yet you can't bear to see her with other guys."
"Yeah..."
"Life is hard."
"I know. You're preaching to the choir."
She smiled. "Am I now?"
"Yeah, you are, and don't give me that innocent smile!"
"But I am innocent!"
"You're not fooling me!"
"Give me your plate and get out to the car! And get our little flirty friend while you're at it!" She stole away his plate as she playfully swatted him away from the table. As she watched him run out, she laughed as she thought of the complications involved in their lives. "They'll realize they're meant to be together soon enough. Just give it time... just give it time." She set the plate down, deciding to clean later, and grabbed her keys to join her friends.
Even with all the complications they had to face, she knew they would never best this time in their lives.
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:24 pm
Pretty good, and would be realistic for HS relationships, but you said college, so I'm not so sure. I'd think things would be a little more serious than "giggles" by college, but hey, I'm still in HS, what do I know? razz
And I really didn't get the relationship of the "oldest". Since she's a friend of theirs, I'd assume in about the same age group but statements like "She remembered a time when things weren't so simple" made me think she was much older than them, too old to be a friend, and more like some sort of mentor. The conversation at the end was also a little spastic, went from a serious moment right into them playfully yelling at each other, and it left me wanting a little more explanation.
So overall, a little confusing, but the actual technique of the writing was very good. Sentences like "He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork and quickly swallowed, then grabbed his throat." with its varied vocabulary/structure and natural action got me right into the story.
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:55 pm
Thank you, I really appreciate your comments! I have a new story to post, but unfortunately I don't have time to put it on the computer and post it right now! I've been swamped with IB essays and will probably be gone a few days, but I'll put it up once I'm back. I want to say it will be worth it, but it all depends on your tastes 3nodding Thank you! See you all soon!
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:59 am
I liked it. Though I'm not usually for a tone that casual, it was refreshing and fit with the content. Woohoo! heart
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 10:36 am
Well, now that the forums are up and running again, I can finally post my new short story. I warn you, the random factor is very high in this story, so only read if you like disorder xp . Hope you like it!Title: The Trouble with Lime Jello Three months ago I convinced my seven year boyfriend that we should go to the mountains and spend a weekend there, and I was overjoyed that he had said yes. I was determined to get him to propose to me, and had this ingenious plan that began once the lights in the cabin we were staying in went out. I had convienently prepared a huge vat of jello and offered him some. I didn't mention that I had also added about five bottles of plum wine, but I think he figured it out after the sixth bowl of jello. He was pretty drunk by this time, his tongue was dyed green from the lime jello, and I would have made my move if my stupid car alarm hadn't gone off. He screamed like a little girl until I turned it off, but by then we were both pretty freaked-out. To calm him, I gave him an animal tranquilizer, and then decided to wait. About five minutes later I was drowning myself in lime jello because he had told me he was only dating me for my money. And he was gay. The next thing I knew, the sun was shining in my eyes, my boyfriend was passed out, and I was covered from head to toe in marker with my head in a bowl. I got up, and kicked my boyfriend, then went outside to answer nature's call. I stopped at the door when I saw my trunk was ajar, and ignoring my boyfriend's pleas of undying love-- which I assumed were for me and not his boyfriend-- I went to go see what was wrong with the car. I popped open the trunk and saw the dead body of my archnemesis-- though, to be quite honest, I don't even remember what made her my archnemesis. My boyfriend-- still yelling something about wanting a commitment-- noticed the dead body of Kiela Klik. He screamed like a little girl again, only this time I had to cover my ears, and then yelled, "We need to call the police!" I scratched my head, completely confused by the situation, and said, "Well, let's read the print-out attached to her chest first." Pulling the paper off the body, I read, "Whoever finds me in the trunk of Reanna Gregson know that she is the murderess." I paused, wondering if murderess was a word, and then said, "Uh, that's my name. Why would someone, oh, I'm being framed. Okay, scratch the police idea, and the only person on my nemesis list." I ripped up the note and ate it, then decided to wash it down with jello. It wasn't until I was finishing my third bowl that I realized something needed to be done with the body, since someone was determined to frame me. My answer came in the form of a tiny mole man who arose from the local sewer and knocked on my door. At first I thought I should hit him with a fly swatter and hope he left, but then decided to hear him out. "Whatcha plannin' for that there body?" He pointed at my trunk and I shrugged my shoulders. "I was thinking of donating it to that new MOSI exhibit featuring dead people. It's not like they really know where those bodies come from anyways. They're MOSI employees that got too close to the tesla coil if you want my honest opinion." "Can I have that there body?" I stared down at the little man and considered what he was saying. He added, "I'll pay you four bucks for it." I looked over at the body, back at the man, and then at the body again. "Sir, I wouldn't take a penny more than three." Though I had no idea why I was bartering with this tiny mole man, I didn't question my actions. In minutes I was three dollars richer and the problem of Kiela was solved. I knew for sure there would be no romance this weekend when I saw my boyfriend pouring the remaining jello down the toilet, and figured it was for the best. The mole man would probably need the jello more than me.
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:23 am
I like the first story. It's got a really deep POV and nice feel to it. I like how I don't know what really is going on. Very good. I like it very much. (I should stop here with the praising. sweatdrop ) Anyway, other than a few typos, Not that I noticed them, I loved it. I look forward to more of your work.
-Chi (yes, you can call me Chi)
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Psychotic Maniacal Sanity
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Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 11:24 am
ZOMG. I loved all three of them. The first and last ones both having my amount of randomness and disorder, yet the first one was nicely refreshing in between. Good job there! -ninja- I like....
The witchy thinks so too...
-Chess <3
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:30 pm
So, I have something new to add to this collection! Thanks to everyone who has read and critiqued, and I hope you like this piece!
Oh yeah, and I've done my three critiques! So, on with the show!
Title: The Trouble with Deadlines
"The frustrations of an artist build up into an uncontrollable force until-" The sudden snap as lead broke free and wood screeched across paper brought the creative process to a grinding halt. Cursing under his breath, he stood up and went to sharpen his pencil for the third time in the last fifteen minutes. "Stupid cheap Wal-Mart pencil... now I know why they were a dollar seventy-five less than the mechanical ones.
Still muttering under his breath, he listened at the pencil sharpened, watching it become smaller and smaller as he waited for it to reach the level of perfection. Deciding perfection was taking too long, he removed the pencil, nodded at the sharpened tip, and returned to his table. He stared at the paper, making no noise or movements. Then, suddenly, his pencil flew towards the page as he began to furiously scribble down something.
Which was rudely interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. His dark blue eyes left the page at the first ring, then the second, then the third, and on the fourth he finallly relented and went to answer it. "Hello?" His voice gave away the sleep deprivation he was suffering thanks to his deadline at the end of the week. He raised an eyebrow, at first curious, asking, "Wait, you're calling on behalf of whom?" A pause and suddenly the excitement in his eyes disappeared and was replaced by frustration. "No, I do not want to donate to your cause!" Another pause and the suppressed anger came out. "No, I don't want to buy anything either!"
He slammed the phone down and headed back for his desk, but then returned to the telephone after a moment's consideration. Following the cord, he unplugged it, then returned to his desk. Sighing, he said to himself, "If there's one thing I don't need right now, it's telemarketers. Don't they realize it's rude to call someone during work hours?" He stared at the paper once more, trying to regain the lost momentum he had, and finally nodded after what seemed like hours. Grabbing his pencil, he resumed writing speedily.
Until the doorbell rang. He stopped abruptly, breaking the pencil lead again. Growling, he headed for the door and swung it open. His friend Kelsa stood there, tears streaming down her face. He sighed, and asked, "Did he dump you?"
She shook her head and yelled, "I've never been happier in my life! He asked me out again!"
He stared back at her. "You mean, you came all this way just to tell me you got asked out by your boyfriend?"
She nodded. "Yeah, your phone wasn't working, so I decided to stop by."
He continued to stare, and finally decided to just close the door. He ignored her protests and locked the door before grabbing his back up pencil and sitting at his desk again. "Why must I suffer so... I have five days to finish this piece and it seems everyone wants to stand in my way! Why?!" He slammed his fist down on the table, accidentally breaking his back up pencil in the process. Letting his head fall to the desk, he said, "I knew I should have bought the mechanical ones."
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 10:22 pm
Not my usual cheerful story, this one is a bit more depressing than my other ones... I do like it, however, and would like to share it with everyone! I hope you all like it as well!
Title: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Today I hurt someone I really love.
Why did I do it?
Because I'm an idiot.
No, I'm not an idiot, I just can't see the big picture. We're so different and that's all I see. I pinpoint one thing that annoys me and I make a mountain out of a molehill.
Stupid, right?
You know, sometimes I feel like I'm on a road. I'm walking along, trying to reach numerous places, such as my sweet sixteen, graduation day, and date of marriage. On this road at some point I meet a wonderful person who walks down this road with me.
This person is the best person in the world acting as a guide, friend, and ultimately loving me even with all my faults. With time, I realize I love them too, and that should be all we need, right?
Then we hit a fork in the road.
Being opposites, when I say left, he says right. Unfortunately, the one thing we have in common is that we're both too stubborn to change our ways, and so we go on seperate paths and I'm too much of an idiot to realize they lead to the same place.
We may be different, but there is more than one way to reach a point.
So we go along, I get mad, say all sorts of things I don't mean only to realize at the next rest stop that we were both right.
I wish I wasn't so quick to anger.
I don't understand it at all.
It's one of the things I dislike most about myself, but for some reason I can't will myself to change it. I think it's that stubborn thing coming into play again, though I wish it wouldn't.
I want to change.
I want to be the type of companion the one I love can always travel with and depend on. I want to realize that when there's a fork in the road, going with the one I love will lead to the same place as going on the road I want to travel.
Maybe I'm being selfish.
Maybe I'm being human.
Either way, I want to be better. I want him to be able to lean on me, but that first requires me to lean on him.
If I try hard enough, I can do it right?
It's always worked in the past.
Right, Diary?
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