But....DERPY HOOVES FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!
That's me at the end of my deployment in Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. It's hard to see from here, but I'm wearing a Derpy Hooves t-shirt. On a military base. In the Middle East. On a tank. This open Bronyness earned me some odd looks from my fellow sailors. Some are convinced that I'm a raging homosexual as well. Sigh...look, just cause I serviced a couple of Army guys and a camel for coke behind the latrines doesn't mean I'm gay. Just desperately horny. Geez.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED IN AFGANISTAN:
"Why Copper, you've always had the power to go home!" Glinda the good witch told me at the end of my deployment. Which frankly, pissed me off cause the b***h didn't tell me earlier. So I gathered up Toto in a picnic basket and clicked my red slippers together. Sure enough, a C-17 showed up and hauled me back to Kuwait where a more comfortable 747 picked me up and yeah. It's boring from there.
ANYWAYZ....during my trip to Asscrackistan, I saw some things....and stuff. I wouldn't recommend it.
But I learned that Afghans (Namely the ANA) have the shittiest work ethic on Earth. Speaking Pashto, Dari or any of their nasty languages feels like I'm continuously hocking a loogie. They drop everything to pray at the designated time, no matter what and somehow make it last over an hour, even though a prayer should take about fifteen minutes and they could easily rotate their people through prayers to keep everything moving. Nope. All at the same time no matter what.
Afghans don't bathe much. Ever. Nasty ********.
I didn't tell you guys, but we got rocketed on a few occasions. Taliban are assholes. Oh yeah. I got several death threats from detainees as well, I might add.I often smiled at those and kindly reminded them that all their butt buddies that didn't get captured by Coalition forces were mulch. Very quickly, I lost sympathy for all the detainees and started wishing that we would just kill the ******** as opposed to wasting tax dollars taking care of every guy that surrenders. Look...will the Geneva Convention really notice if you take a couple behind a tree and put a 9M to their heads?
So anyway. I learned that war is horrible and that I want to go protest s**t and generally be a public nuisance.
Just kidding. I'm gonna go help animals out and stuff. Afghanistan brought the worst out in me. It felt gross. I'm glad to be back in the states.
Well....until I get re-mobilized in a month to go blow up Iran's navy that's trying to block up the canal. XD (S'a joke, guys.)
SO. How has everyone been?
