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Marik Kurogane~Sunagakure~Sannin (U/C) [Approved] Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Shikairu Nara

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 1:04 pm


User Image

╫Main Information╫


Full Name: Marik Kurogane
Nicknames: Platinum Sand Devil
Age: 32
Birthdate: 07/04
Gender: Male
Village Sunagakure
Race: White
Rank: S
Shinobi Profession: Sannin
Ninja Type/Class: Assassin

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╫Major Infomation╫



Bloodline/Clan: Iron Sand (his is Platinum)
Current Bloodline Stage: Mastered
Chakra Color: Clear
Chakra Level: Medium
Chakra Element: Lightning, Earth, Magnetism

Battle Strength: All Ranges of fighting
Battle Weakness: Strong Fire Jutsus


Fights Won: 0
Fights Lost: 0

Shinobi Special Skills:
1. Controlling Metal to do my biding
2. Speed
3. Concealment

-Completed Missions-
S Rank:
A Rank:
B Rank:
C Rank:
D Rank:

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╫Summoning infomation╫


Summoning Type: Bird
Boss Summoning: Eagle


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


╫Shinobi Equipment Information:╫

Headband Location: Waist
Headband Style: Belt
Headband Color: brown

Weapon Class: Katana

Name of Weapon: Platinum Katana
Weapon Range: 5 feet normal, he can add his platinum sand to extend its reach.
Special Abilities: Very sharp and hard
Weapon Location: Left hip

Kunai= 15
Shuriken= 15
Light Bombs= 5
Smoke Bombs= 5
Explosive Tags= 10
Steel Wire= 10 feet

Kunai Holster Location: right thigh
Kunai Holster Color: brown
Shuriken and Bomb Holster Location: left thigh
Shuriken and Bomb Holster Color: brown
Backpack Style: four medium sized pouches on his lower back
Backpack Color: brown
Summoning Scroll Holster Location: Mid-back
Summoning Scroll Holster Color: brown


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╫Technique List╫

Non-Elemental
- Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Jutsu)
- Kawarimi no Jutsu (Substitution Jutsu)
- Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Jutsu)
-
-
-

Ninjutsu
D- Rank
• Raikou Bunshin no Jutsu (Lightning Clone Technique)
• Seiteki Suji no Jutsu (Static Strings Technique)
• Teikou no Kuntou (Electricity Resistance Training)
• Doton: Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Military Movement Technique)
• Doton: Bunshin no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Clone Skill)
• Doton Henge (Earth Release Transformation)
C- Rank
• Nagare Isou no Jutsu (Current Transfer Skill)
• Raikou Henge no Jutsu (Lightning Transformation Technique)
• Raiton: Seiteki Chikara no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Static Force)
• Raiton: Denshi no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Electron Technique)
• Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu (Earth Release: Inner Decapitation Skill)
• Ohitsuji Kashira (Ram head)
• Doton Bunsho (Earth Release Note)
• Doton Tsuna (Earth Release Rope)
B- Rank
• Raiton: Yaiba no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Blade Technique)
• Raiton: Raikou Hitofuki no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Lightning Blast Technique)
• Raiton: Raikou Kousen no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Lightning Beam Technique)
• Raiton: Yusuburu Kasugai no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Jolt Clamp)
• Ryuusha no Jutsu (Quicksand skill)
• Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Blast)
• Iwagakure: Shunshin no Jutsu (Hidden Earth: Instantaneous Body Skill)
• Doton: Iwa no Doomu (Earth Release: Earth dome)
A- Rank
• Shinkou Arashi no Jutsu (Rising Storm Technique)
• Inbikiri Ekido no Jutsu (Lightning Rage Technique)
• Inbikiri Seeji no Jutsu (Lightning Sage Technique)
• Dendou Kaitengi no Jutsu (Electric Gyroscope Technique)
• Doton: Shindoryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Dragon God Blast)
• Ikiumeru no Jutsu (Alive Burial Technique)
• Doton: Yomi Numa (Earth Release: Swamp of the Underworld)
• Shishi no Koudo (Limbs of Earth)
S- Rank
• Sigh of the Yellow Dragon
• Kouten no Saiketsu (Heaven's Judgement)
• Doton: Iwa Finaru (Earth Release: Rock finale)

Genjutsu


Taijutsu


Bloodline Jutsu
E-Rank
• Toroi's Magnetic Shuriken [ Unnamed ]
• Iron Sand World Method
D- Rank
• Hagane Bunshin Soujuu [ Iron Clone Manipulation ]
• Hagane Dama [ Iron Bullet ]
• Iron Sand Joint Attacks
C- Rank
• Teikou no Michi [ Electrical Resistance Method ]
• Hagane Bunshin no Jutsu [ Iron Clone Technique ]
B- Rank
• Satetsu Soushiki [ Iron Sand Funeral ]
• Satetsu Kyuu [ Iron Sand Coffin ]
• Satetsu Shigure [ Iron Sand Drizzle ]
• Satetsu Kesshuu [ Iron Sand Gathering Assault ]
• Satetsu Omori no Jutsu [ Iron Sand Clog Technique ]
A- Rank
• Satetsu Rou [ Iron Sand Prison ]
• Satetsu Shouheki [ Iron Sand Barrier ]
• Satetsu Kaihou [ Iron Sand World Order ]
• Iron Wall
S- Rank
• Satetsu Taisou [ Iron Sand Imperial Funeral ]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


╫Character Description╫


Personality: Calm, Relaxed, Respectful (outside of fights) Cocky, Determined, Focused (in fights)
Nindo:
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 185lbs
Original Eye Color: Red

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


╫Background Information╫
Bio:
Marik was born in the prodigy of the great Gold Sand Devil, his father, Marik was held to such expectations. Being a kid he hated training and learning, he would rather place his time into his friends and playing. Marik was raised by his father, a strict shinobi who was given a Sannin position. Marik eventually passed the academy at a low class percentage, he would rather slack than put forth effort in order to impress people. Marik being extremely smart, went through his Genin days quickly, becoming the first of his class to reach Chunnin. Marik didn't take the exams like the others, rather he led his team to the exams and helped them all he could. Soon Marik reached Jounin, hearing of his fathers death, he was not surprised knowing the predicaments his father got himself into. He was sad for a bit, but soon got back into action. Marik was given the title of Sannin to take over in his fathers foot steps, soon he was know as the "Platinum Sand Devil", a close resemblance to his fathers nickname "Gold Sand Devil". After returning to Sunagakure Marik found out that his cousin had become the Kazekage, after her father stepped down due to his age. Marik was happy that she had also amounted to such a high rank.



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:24 pm


Here are some things that are inconsistant with some things we have:

1. Our Kazekage controls Sand and is a decendant of Gaara.

2. Controlling sand is NOT a bloodline ability, anyone can do it.

3. Sanin is not a rank, it is a title. (We're going for S, A, B, C, D, E)

4. An assassin that uses ninjutsu, taijutsu, and uses pretty much all elements?

5. Magnetism is not an element it is the combination of all 5 elements, which only people who have the Rinnegan can do.

My suggestion is to go back and dumb things down according to what I listed above.

Kraxys05


Shikairu Nara

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:28 pm


Kraxys05
Here are some things that are inconsistant with some things we have:

1. Our Kazekage controls Sand and is a decendant of Gaara.

2. Controlling sand is NOT a bloodline ability, anyone can do it.

3. Sanin is not a rank, it is a title. (We're going for S, A, B, C, D, E)

4. An assassin that uses ninjutsu, taijutsu, and uses pretty much all elements?

5. Magnetism is not an element it is the combination of all 5 elements, which only people who have the Rinnegan can do.

My suggestion is to go back and dumb things down according to what I listed above.

You have Iron sand, which is magnetism. They control Iron with their bodies magnetic fields. (Sannin is a canon title, but guilds including this one use it as the highest rank not counting Kage)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 6:43 pm


Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Here are some things that are inconsistant with some things we have:

1. Our Kazekage controls Sand and is a decendant of Gaara.

2. Controlling sand is NOT a bloodline ability, anyone can do it.

3. Sanin is not a rank, it is a title. (We're going for S, A, B, C, D, E)

4. An assassin that uses ninjutsu, taijutsu, and uses pretty much all elements?

5. Magnetism is not an element it is the combination of all 5 elements, which only people who have the Rinnegan can do.

My suggestion is to go back and dumb things down according to what I listed above.

You have Iron sand, which is magnetism. They control Iron with their bodies magnetic fields. (Sannin is a canon title, but guilds including this one use it as the highest rank not counting Kage)


Iron sand is NOT magnetism. It is the same concept as controlling sand.....you use chakra. My point there is you CANNOT have the power of magnetism, because it is virtually unbeatable. As for the thing about Sanin being a rank, you are wrong. Your rank is represented with a letter and your profession is Sanin.

As it is now, your RPC cannot be accepted; ultimately it is a walking god mod.

Kraxys05


Shikairu Nara

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 6:49 pm


Kraxys05
Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Here are some things that are inconsistant with some things we have:

1. Our Kazekage controls Sand and is a decendant of Gaara.

2. Controlling sand is NOT a bloodline ability, anyone can do it.

3. Sanin is not a rank, it is a title. (We're going for S, A, B, C, D, E)

4. An assassin that uses ninjutsu, taijutsu, and uses pretty much all elements?

5. Magnetism is not an element it is the combination of all 5 elements, which only people who have the Rinnegan can do.

My suggestion is to go back and dumb things down according to what I listed above.

You have Iron sand, which is magnetism. They control Iron with their bodies magnetic fields. (Sannin is a canon title, but guilds including this one use it as the highest rank not counting Kage)


Iron sand is NOT magnetism. It is the same concept as controlling sand.....you use chakra. My point there is you CANNOT have the power of magnetism, because it is virtually unbeatable. As for the thing about Sanin being a rank, you are wrong. Your rank is represented with a letter and your profession is Sanin.

As it is now, your RPC cannot be accepted; ultimately it is a walking god mod.

Iron sand is magnetism, read up on it, they control the iron with their bodies magnetic fields. It is not controlled by chakra, also to avoid god mod they have to previously be in contact of the metal in order to control it. You cannot control a persons body, it is not a god mod the way the bloodline is described.

Proof link: http://www.leafninja.com/ninjutsu-14.php (scroll down about halfway)
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 7:25 pm


Okay that checks out a little bit (I read the wiki instead). However I did notice that you have this long list of nothing but powerful and difficult ninjutsu and then the 8 gates, and then another list of powerful jutsu. You character is 20....and he knows things that most high level ninja work their entire lives to achieve. its god moded. There's just too much....you will have to take away something.

So as one of the guild's mods, I am telling you that you'll have to dumb it down before it can be accepted. If you can't comply with this simple request then I will have deny this RPC and recomend that it not be accepted.

Kraxys05


Shikairu Nara

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:30 pm


Kraxys05
Okay that checks out a little bit (I read the wiki instead). However I did notice that you have this long list of nothing but powerful and difficult ninjutsu and then the 8 gates, and then another list of powerful jutsu. You character is 20....and he knows things that most high level ninja work their entire lives to achieve. its god moded. There's just too much....you will have to take away something.

So as one of the guild's mods, I am telling you that you'll have to dumb it down before it can be accepted. If you can't comply with this simple request then I will have deny this RPC and recomend that it not be accepted.

I never said I wouldn't comply, in fact, I didn't want the eight gates anyway.
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:50 pm


Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Okay that checks out a little bit (I read the wiki instead). However I did notice that you have this long list of nothing but powerful and difficult ninjutsu and then the 8 gates, and then another list of powerful jutsu. You character is 20....and he knows things that most high level ninja work their entire lives to achieve. its god moded. There's just too much....you will have to take away something.

So as one of the guild's mods, I am telling you that you'll have to dumb it down before it can be accepted. If you can't comply with this simple request then I will have deny this RPC and recomend that it not be accepted.

I never said I wouldn't comply, in fact, I didn't want the eight gates anyway.


Well you keep challenging everything I say. Anyway....if you want this accepted...then go ahead and dumb down your abilities.

Kraxys05


Shikairu Nara

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:06 pm


Kraxys05
Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Okay that checks out a little bit (I read the wiki instead). However I did notice that you have this long list of nothing but powerful and difficult ninjutsu and then the 8 gates, and then another list of powerful jutsu. You character is 20....and he knows things that most high level ninja work their entire lives to achieve. its god moded. There's just too much....you will have to take away something.

So as one of the guild's mods, I am telling you that you'll have to dumb it down before it can be accepted. If you can't comply with this simple request then I will have deny this RPC and recomend that it not be accepted.

I never said I wouldn't comply, in fact, I didn't want the eight gates anyway.


Well you keep challenging everything I say. Anyway....if you want this accepted...then go ahead and dumb down your abilities.

I was only stating facts, and most guilds use Sannin as a rank equal to or close to equal to Kage. And I seen Kage and Sannin as a rank in the classes, as to letter ranks those aren't normally used as Shinobi Ranks rather jutsu ranks and ranks of techniques and chakra usage. So my skepticism was of good nature, not one to start a dispute, sorry if I came off as rude that wasn't my intent.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:43 am


Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Okay that checks out a little bit (I read the wiki instead). However I did notice that you have this long list of nothing but powerful and difficult ninjutsu and then the 8 gates, and then another list of powerful jutsu. You character is 20....and he knows things that most high level ninja work their entire lives to achieve. its god moded. There's just too much....you will have to take away something.

So as one of the guild's mods, I am telling you that you'll have to dumb it down before it can be accepted. If you can't comply with this simple request then I will have deny this RPC and recomend that it not be accepted.

I never said I wouldn't comply, in fact, I didn't want the eight gates anyway.


Well you keep challenging everything I say. Anyway....if you want this accepted...then go ahead and dumb down your abilities.

I was only stating facts, and most guilds use Sannin as a rank equal to or close to equal to Kage. And I seen Kage and Sannin as a rank in the classes, as to letter ranks those aren't normally used as Shinobi Ranks rather jutsu ranks and ranks of techniques and chakra usage. So my skepticism was of good nature, not one to start a dispute, sorry if I came off as rude that wasn't my intent.


Anyways what changes have you made?

Kraxys05


Shikairu Nara

Dangerous Lover

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:54 am


Kraxys05
Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Shikairu Nara
Kraxys05
Okay that checks out a little bit (I read the wiki instead). However I did notice that you have this long list of nothing but powerful and difficult ninjutsu and then the 8 gates, and then another list of powerful jutsu. You character is 20....and he knows things that most high level ninja work their entire lives to achieve. its god moded. There's just too much....you will have to take away something.

So as one of the guild's mods, I am telling you that you'll have to dumb it down before it can be accepted. If you can't comply with this simple request then I will have deny this RPC and recomend that it not be accepted.

I never said I wouldn't comply, in fact, I didn't want the eight gates anyway.


Well you keep challenging everything I say. Anyway....if you want this accepted...then go ahead and dumb down your abilities.

I was only stating facts, and most guilds use Sannin as a rank equal to or close to equal to Kage. And I seen Kage and Sannin as a rank in the classes, as to letter ranks those aren't normally used as Shinobi Ranks rather jutsu ranks and ranks of techniques and chakra usage. So my skepticism was of good nature, not one to start a dispute, sorry if I came off as rude that wasn't my intent.


Anyways what changes have you made?

I am about to cut my elemental jutsus down. I took out the eight gates last night but I was to tired to read through all the jutsus.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 11:15 am


If there are some things you want to keep, you can make your RPC older. What he can do just has to make sense that he'd actually be able to master it.

Kraxys05


Shikairu Nara

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:13 pm


Kraxys05
If there are some things you want to keep, you can make your RPC older. What he can do just has to make sense that he'd actually be able to master it.

Is that better, I upped his age took out an S-rank and 4 A-rank jutsus.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:26 pm


As long as you understand that using alot of those jutsu could very well kill your character.

Kraxys05

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