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This is an RP between Jolteon (Dracier) and Raven (Melomar) that began on Jan 10 of this year.

Raven: *enters the shop carrying his fluffy pet on his shoulder grinning faintly to himself* We never get out anymore. *sits down in a chair by the window and scratches Gabe under the chin*

Jolteon: *Enters the shop in a blur of yellow that passes directly in front of Raven before coming to a dead stop in front of a fish tank and stares for a moment and mumbles to himself* man they're always swimming around this tank so slow everytime I come in here!

Gabe: *staring at the fish too* ....
Raven: *glances around as Jolteon speaks* Hm... they do seem rather bored, don't they?

Jolteon: *raises a eyebrow and looks back at the dark boy all of his movements quick and jerky* Yes they do, I don't understand why everyone else moves so slow all the time, you seem bored too *looks up at gabe for a moment before staring at the fish once more*

Raven: *nods once* Yes, I suppose I am. Maybe that's why I came out here today. But there's no one around but the two of us, this little guy, *indicates the cat* and the fish.

Jolteon: *shrugs and turns around leaning back on the tank before flashing a grin* The fish don't count, he can though since you seem attatched to him. Anyways what brings you here other than boredom

Raven: *grins* He does mean a lot to me. *sets Gabe down and watches him disappear somewhere like cats often do* No particular reason for coming today, though it's a nice day. I kinda wish I'd brought my guitar. What about you?

Jolteon: *scratches his head and twitches a little bit before crossing his arms again to avoid fidgiting* I just came in to look at the fish on my jog, it's something I do *trails off a little as his eyes dart around the room looking for where Gabe vanished to*

Raven: *curiously watches Jolteon, whom sees a rather nervous* Ah, so you're in the middle of a jog? Well don't let me keep you if you're trying to keep to a routine.

Jolteon: *shakes his head and continues looking around the room and begins trembling a little* no, I don't want to leave yet, um, what is that things name?

Raven: His name's Gabe. Are you all right? *sees the trembling and start to get concerned*

Jolteon: *jerks his head in Raven's direction and focuses on him for a moment and nods* head i'm fine why do you ars *still trembling a little with his arms crossed as he looks around for the cat again*

Raven: Because you're shaking. Or are you just a little jittery? *not convinced*

Jolteon: *laughs quickly but it comes out more like a bark* sorry if i'm making you nervous I just, um I don't do well with sitting still or not knowing where something is *still looking around the room* Do you know where *pauses and looks ar Raven to make sure he gets the name right* Gabe? is?

Raven: *eyes widen in understanding* I see. Gabe is probably hiding somewhere. *hoping Gabe isn't stalking anyone, such as Jolteon, which might be very bad if he was caught* Would you like to go for a walk?

Jolteon: *blinks and looks at raven steadily with a very confused look on his face* Um, sure, i'd like that *isn;t used to being talked to this much or this nicely by anyone* Yeah, where do you want to walk? *begins fidgeting with his fingernails and staring at his hands so he wont look around for Gabe*

Raven: All right, let's go. *grins broadly and approaches then holds out his hand, though he'd probably take Jolteon's arm if he thought he'd be okay with it* I've got no preference. It's a nice day for wandering.

Jolteon: *Looks down and stares at Raven's pale hand for a moment and trembles once more before shoving his hands in his pockets and moving to stand next to Raven, he hoped the boy didn't think it was rude but he couldn't make his hands stand still when he was holding hands with them and that always turned out bad. he stopped trembling and seemed to relax as soon as his hands were in his pockets and his feet were able to move* Well um can you leave Gabe here and walk outside for a while? *glances around once more for Gabe before offering a smile of his own to Raven*

Raven: *takes Jolteon's movement as an indicator to start off, and does so, holding the door open for the pokemon when they get to it* Yeah, he may look pretty but he's also more than capable of taking care of himself. He'll probably even beat me home-- ah, there he is.
Gabe: *scoots outside between Raven's feet and disappears under a shrub down the street, in the opposite direction of where the two anthros are headed*
Raven: *shrugs and grins* Looks like we're all good to go.

Jolteon: *walks beside Raven and bows his head a little in thanks for holding the door open before seeing Gabe and trembling a little more as he watched the cat vanish before looking back to Raven with a small smile* yeah, good to go. So, um, why did you ask me to go on a walk anyways *stares down at the cement in front of them feeling a little awkward being with someone new*

Raven: Because you said you don't like sitting still. Now we're moving. *shrugs* Also... sometimes Gabe pounces on people. I didn't want him startling you. *looks over at Jolteon, still nervous but seems less fidgety* Feeling any better?

Jolteon: *smiles and nods as his hands move a little in his pockets* yes I do hate sitting still, thank you *looks over at Raven while walking as he listens* I am feeling better, you know you seem very nice for someone dressed in such darkness

Raven: Darkness? *glances down at his gothy attire and smirks wryly, then looks back up at Jolteon* I don't know what to say. I'm not deceiving you... but this isn't just a costume, either.

Jolteon: *stops the fidgeting in his pocket and walking for a moment to look at Raven before continuing forward with him* what do you mean... *pulls one hand out of his pocket to mess with his stark white hair*

Raven: *frowns slightly* Well, this used to be "just how I dressed." I was in a band and all, it was part of a look. But life happens, as they say, and now it's more like, this is the darkness all around me. Life makes everything complicated. *glances at Jolteon and shrugs* I could say the same about you. You seem pretty shy for someone so bright and cheery-looking. *grins*

Jolteon: *laughs again in his barking laugh this time without a smile* I guess we all have our issues don't we *looks over at Raven and trembles again thinking about the past* will you tell me about your past and life that is so complicated? *stops and stands facing Raven* I can't promise i wont sit still but I will listen and I won't repeate anything *standing still for once*

Raven was surprised into an abrupt stop a couple steps ahead of Jolteon. He turned and watched the pokemon trying to determine a motive for his inquiry. Did he have something he felt the need to share? His own complications weren't appropriate for public though. "There was too much death, and worse. It's taken me a very long time to feel like life can continue and that I can enjoy it." He turned away partly, to look at their surroundings and the sun filtering through the trees along the road. "I guess that's why I came out today. If I look around me I can think that things will be all right."

Jolteons glance flicked here and there while he waited for the boy to answer his question. "I have a question for you but it's something that makes me seem like i'm prying but if you don't want to answer you don't have to explain yourself to me" Jolteon's glance began flicking around while he paused to think of how to put his question. "you're giving me a very vague answer which isn't surprising since you just met me but if that isn't the reason then, um, why aren't you telling me what it really is, you know, the details?" A light pink tinge came across the boys cheeks as he looked anywhere but Raven and trembled once more before he returned his hands to his pocket and began fiddling with the object inside once more.

"You're right, we don't even know each other's names. It's very personal, and, probably more than that, this is a public place." He smiled faintly and paled subtly, which was of course quite a feat, "Think about this: what's worse than death? I would hate for a child to wander by and overhear something so gruesome." Despite his words, there was nothing upset or offended even in his posture. However, Jolteon was looking, well, everywhere else. What was he thinking? "So if you don't mind, let me ask you why you're so keen to know?"

Jolteon noticed the even paler color of Ravens skin and began to feel guilty for prying. "I... I'm not sure I want to think of what's worse than death." He returned his eyes to Ravens for a moment again before looking away again. "I also wouldn't want a child to hear any such thing." The fiddling began getting worse in Jolteons pocket. "Um, I'm not sure why I want to know... just... I don't talk to anyone who looks like you very often, you're so dark, and well.. people like you don't usually talk to me." Jolteon began staring at the ground steadily "most people don't usually talk to me, not like you have so far. Most people get nervous around me since I never sit still..." Jolteon wasn't quite sure how to explain to Raven why he wanted so badly to know about him. "and um, my name is J... Jolteon"

Raven was not the sort to pry, even in wondering. Everyone has aspects of their lives and secrets that they don't want to share. Everyone has a part of themselves that they wish they could change. But no one has a right to judge or interfere, unless they need the help. He had no knowledge just yet to do anything but accept everything Jolteon said at face value. He smiled, should the pokemon care to see it, though his hands were jammed nervously into his pockets. "Well, Jolteon, my name is Raven. I would like to know you more, I genuinely would. However, if you want to speak more of those parts of my past, we should probably go somewhere else."

Glancing up just in time to see the smile Jolteons lips turned up despite his nervousness in return. "It's nice to meet you Raven." The boys hand slowly came out of his pocket that he had been fidgeting in to hold it out to Raven as it trembled a little. "I would like to go somewhere else if you wouldn't mind..." Pausing momentarily he looked down and up through his white hair. "I have another question Raven... Why haven''t you said anything about how I act." Jolteon was a little confused by why he hadn't, everyone else he had met had peppered him with a million questions. He was ok with answering the questions but the tone the others held while they asked were never kind, it was like they thought it was a disease that they could catch by being close to him. After thinking all of this through he wasn;t sure Raven would take the hand and began lowering it.

Raven's smile widened when he saw Jolteon finally hold out his hand. He seemed nervous about physical touch, so this indicated a level of trust. The demon leapt at the chance to bridge that distance between them and took hold of Jolteon's hand. "Then we'll go somewhere else," he nodded, then tugged them lightly into a walk. He looked at Jolteon sideways after the second question. "Do you want me to ask?" He shrugged. "You seemed awkward and nervous, especially about my cat. I thought that asking you questions would have made things worse. Sometimes when people are put on the spot and they're nervous anyway, they'll take it as an attack. I didn't want to upset you." And that was just an understanding that Raven had come to after knowing so many people, especially his own son. They would probably come to the subject of Shelby eventually, too.

Jolteon 's mouth opened in surprise slight surprise as Raven took his hand so enthusiastically. A small giggle escaped Jolteons mouth "Um, you can ask if you want, and about your catt... He didn't make me nervous really, i just couldn't figure out where he was." Jolteon was almost pulled off balance as Raven began walking. he didnt know where they were going but he didn't really mind for once. he was still trembling as he followed Raven but he was growing less and less nervous around Raven.

"All right then, why are you always so nervous?" Raven grinned, as if it might make him feel a little more comfortable. "I'm sorry about Gabe, but you know how cats are." He glanced back at him questioningly, not really having considered it before, "Do you know how cats are?"

Seeing the smile helped Jolteon feel a little more comfortable. "Um, it isn't that i'm nervous really. it's just... it's hard to pick the things I mean to say out of all the thoughts running through my head." Jolteon felt like he sounded crazy telling someone he had so many things running through his brain. his ears perked a little at the cat question and shook his head. "I've never seen one in person before really."

Raven nodded slowly. "Ah, I see." It was not just a noncommittal response though. There could be so many reasons for that kind of awkwardness, and if Jolteon was used to getting strange stares, perhaps it made focusing on one thing to say that much more difficult. "Well then, when you're around me, feel free to take your time deciding what you want to say." /I have had so much more time than I deserve. Being patient is not so hard because almost like it was never really my time to begin with./ "Gabe is actually typical for a cat. He's independent and acts like he doesn't know you exist unless he wants your attention. Then he goes off and does his own thing, acting like he wouldn't care if you left." He chuckled, "But as you saw, he was quick to follow when we left. In my experience, that's how a lot of cats act, even the anthros." He pointed several doors down to a coffee shop. "How about coffee? You can nurse your drink for an hour or two and they never mind."

Glancing up at the boy he could tell there were things cossing his mind. He knew the look because it passed on his own face tens of times a day. But he also felt like he needed to explain his answer more. "I know people say they have a lot on their mind all the time but... um... for me it's differant. My mind never slows down, I can barely sleep most of the time. I get headaches from it, it's like there's so much in there my head is going to explode... like a sensory overload." Jolteon now felt foolish for babbling but Raven didn't seem to mind when he did that. "Um, caffine and I don't get along very well" A rueful smile was pasted to his lips. "I also don't have any money."

Raven's eyes widened a little in surprise. "So that's why you have to move around all the time? That actually makes a little more sense. But... don't you get awfully tired sometimes? I agree about the coffee. What about tea or something without caffeine?" Idly he wondered if people who moved slowly (that is, normally) made him feel nervous, or irritated. Or lonely?

Jolteon felt better knowing that he had explained himself better to the boy after asking about Ravens personal life. "Yeah, it makes me feel better to move around, the speed of it and the trembling is something that just happens... It has ever since I was a kid after..." Jolteon trailed off. He couldn't help but not want to say anything about the accident. "And tea or hot chocolate sounds really good. Trying to be polite he reached over to hold the door open for Raven.

Unmistakably, Jolteon had been about to say more than he wanted to. Of course Raven was curious. But it sounded like some sort of trauma; it's never easy to get into it, especially with someone you don't really know. "All right. If you start getting antsy we'll take off. That's the great thing about these places. You can just take your food and drink with you, no problem. Thanks," he grinned and stepped through the door before Jolteon. He was getting more comfortable all the time.

Jolteon folowed behind Raven and walked over to a pair of cushy chairs in the corner where his back was facing a wall before glancing over at raven through the white hair. "I'm used to being antsy so i'll be ok. It smells nice in here" He began glancing around taking in all of the coffee shop around him. He ignored the look he got from another anthro he had seen around named Samry.

"The chairs are nice too," Raven grinned, after sitting down. He caught the look from the other anthro, but not recognizing pushed it to the back of his mind. "And don't mind about paying for it. Just get what you want. If it bothers you, you can pay next time, sound good?" he grinned amiably.

Jolteon saw that Raven noticed the look and bristled a little bit hoping that Raven wouldn't do anything, he didn't want to cause a scene with Samry again. He relaxed when he realized that Raven was going to drop it. "Um hot chocolate sounds good, and i'll pay next time definately, um, how do we order here?" There was no change in expression until he realized that by saying this Raven was saying that they would meet up again and a grin crossed his mouth bigger than the rest he'd shown so far. Jolteon was relaxing considerably the longer he spend with raven, there was always a fine tremble to his muscles but he had stopped rubbing the worry stone hidden in his pocket and his eyes had stopped darting around nearly as much even if they still never rested in one spot for long.

Since Jolteon neither addressed Samry nor explained himself, Raven let it go. Not his problem unless someone made it his problem. He looked around until he found, toward the back of the cafe, a counter with a short line of customers. He nodded, "Over there. All right, hot chocolate it is. And places like this usually have three sizes: 12, 16, and 20 oz." While he described the sizes, he showed estimations with his hands. "What size would you like?"

Jolteon thought for a moment and decided since there was so much sugar in hot chocolate "16 oz." he nodded and smiled at Raven. When Raven looked away from him he trembled just a little bit and snuck a glance to see if Samry was still looking at him. Fortunatly he had gotten up to leave the coffee house. Samry didn't like prey that wasn't alone.

"All right, 16oz hot chocolate for you. I'll be back in a few minutes." Raven rose to his boot-clad feet with a smile and a flick of his wings before heading off to the counter to place their order.

Jolteon watched Raven go and began feeling nervous when the boy left him alone. He didn't realize just how relaxed he was beginning to get around him until the thoughts began racing again and his eyes darted faster and faster.

The line moved fairly quickly and it was just a few minutes before he found himself at the register. Cocoa sounded nice, so he ordered two. While he was waiting, Raven glanced back at Jolteon. He seemed subtly less relaxed now to the demon, more rigid in his posture. He waved to Jolteon briefly and glanced around to see if that other guy was around causing trouble. Not seeing him at all, Raven could only feel mildly perplexed. When their drinks were finished, he thanked the barista and returned to his seat, first offering one of the hot chocolates to Jolteon. "You okay?"

Jolteon had his hands back in his pockets by the time Raven returned with the drinks. As the demon got closer the trembling slowed and his hands had almost stopped by the time he reached out for his drink. "Thank you, this smells wonderful" He sniffed the drink once more and took a careful sip of the hot liquid. His eyes had returned to what was normal for him which was still darting around a bit to the normal person.

Jolteon did not reply to him verbally, but it was enough to see the visible changes in him. However, with a little concern he was realizing that Jolteon was probably the needy but non-demanding sort. He'd understand when they spoke a little more, of course. But what could a stranger do to calm him that an established friend could not? Was he really that disturbing to other people, or was he just unfortunate enough to have met the wrong people? Sitting and sipping at the cocoa, Raven had remained quiet for longer than he meant to. "This really is good cocoa; how do you like it?"

For once Jolteon had been focusing on the floor in front of him while he breathed in the scent of the hot coco. Both of them had seemed to be staring off into space sitting still even if Jolteons eyes hadn't been completely still. He jumped a little when Raven spoke "Oh, um this coco is very good" He smiled and glanced over at the door giving one last check for Samry before settling in. "So um are you ready to talk now that we aren't around anyone else?"

Raven grinned; apparently Jolteon had been spacing out too. This was just the type of atmosphere for relaxing so it was not surprising. He quietly watched Jolteon's glance toward the door. "Sure. What would you like to talk about first?" he asked through the steam of his cocoa.

Glancing up he returned the smile he saw on Ravens face before considering the question for a moment. "we were going to talk about your past in a non public place?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out his worry stone and rubbed it thoughtfully while he waited to see Ravens reaction. He didn't want to push the boy into talking about things he really didn't want to speak of.

"You're persistent, aren't you?" Raven chuckled weakly. "All right, but you'll have to say something about yourself in return. I don't normally talk about myself." He noticed that Jolteon kept sticking his hand in his pocket. There must be something in there, but what he couldn't say. He'd have to ask about it later. "Sound fair?"

Jolteon nodded and looked up through his white hair, he didn't want Raven to feel like he was prying still so he perked up a little "Ask me anything you want and i'll answer." He smiled and almost looked excited that he had thought it up "i... i can go first with talking, maybe it will make you feel better?"

Raven nodded. "All right, that sounds fair. But what do I ask you about?" This question was meant more for himself than Jolteon. This threatened to become like a two-sided interrogation. Neither one would want that. "Why don't we start out easy. Tell me about yourself. Like, your home, the kind of place you work or go to school, that sort of thing. What kinds of things do you like? I know that's a lot of questions, so... just whatever you feel like talking about."

The boy was silent for a while as he thought about the answers. "I actually rent a room in a hotel by the month and I work for the motel fixing anything that breaks and yardwork to pay for my room" He shifted in his chair and began looking at different spots on the floor. "I also have 6 brothers but none of us speak to one another... I used to talk to the one younger than me but I'm not sure where he is now..." He smiled nervously while he thought about the things he liked. "I like fast paced physical games... I run a lot and i like going camping and climbing the trees in the woods..." He looked up at Raven not having many hobbies to talk about.

Raven listened quietly and offered no response for a while besides his thoughtfulness. He sipped at his cocoa while he did, hoping his silence wouldn't leave Jolteon feeling nervous. "My living situation is similar. It's not a hotel, but everyone that lives there pitches in somehow, either by paying or helping out. The only one in my family that I have remained in contact with is my son, who lives on his own but in the same place."

Jolteons ears perked when Raven spoke again and began speaking about himself. "You have a son? Whats his name?" He hadnt expected to hear Raven was in a similar living situation as himself. "Oh and who's his father? why don't you talk to him anymore?" Jolteons ears dropped a little feeling like he was asking too many questions.

Raven wore a faint smile. "His name's Shelby. I have three boys, but like I said, we're not in contact. Their mother deserved better, it didn't work out between us." That was more or less the truth, there wasn't much to say about their break up, though while it had lasted he had been in heaven. He found himself looking at the floor halfway across the room. There was nothing to look at over there, it was simply a clear path to the door. Nice time to be craving a cigarette. He glanced up at Jolteon and smiled more broadly. "Well, that's in the past anyway."

Jolteon nodded and left his ears at the downward angle while he looked at Raven with sad eyes. "Shelby is a nice name..." He tucked his hands back into his pockets and followed Ravens view towards the door and sighed softly. He wanted to ask more about the boys mother but could tell Raven didn't want to talk about it any more. "Yeah, in the past..." He offered a weak smile and tried to find something to say to comfort Raven but knew he could do nothing. "What else do you want to know" The only thing he could think of to make Raven more comfortable was changing the subject so he wouldn't have to think about the painful memories anymore

"Yeah it is, isn't it." It was kind of in homage to my late wife. Thinking like that made him feel like he really had been messed up. But then, his other son, whom he had not named... He frowned and took a deep breath. Nothing to be done about that. Everything that could have been done, or not... and he'd live with that for the rest of his days in this world. "Shelby is the one I try to make happy these days. But I'm also trying learn to let myself have a good time too." He watched Jolteon and realized his dismal attitude had put the pokemon into one of similar dreariness. With an apologetic smile he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't even tell you that much and already the cocoa tastes dull." He wanted to know why Jolteon was always so jittery. But perhaps that would make things worse. "So you like sports? Do you play or watch?" It seemed likely that Jolteon would want to watch. "And mountaineering. I know a couple of guys that are into that kind of thing," he grinned.

Jolteon nodded and left his ears at the downward angle while he looked at Raven with sad eyes. "Shelby is a nice name..." He tucked his hands back into his pockets and followed Ravens view towards the door and sighed softly. He wanted to ask more about the boys mother but could tell Raven didn't want to talk about it any more. "Yeah, in the past..." He offered a weak smile and tried to find something to say to comfort Raven but knew he could do nothing. "What else do you want to know" The only thing he could think of to make Raven more comfortable was changing the subject so he wouldn't have to think about the painful memories anymore

"Yeah it is, isn't it." It was kind of in homage to my late wife. Thinking like that made him feel like he really had been messed up. But then, his other son, whom he had not named... He frowned and took a deep breath. Nothing to be done about that. Everything that could have been done, or not... and he'd live with that for the rest of his days in this world. "Shelby is the one I try to make happy these days. But I'm also trying learn to let myself have a good time too." He watched Jolteon and realized his dismal attitude had put the pokemon into one of similar dreariness. With an apologetic smile he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't even tell you that much and already the cocoa tastes dull." He wanted to know why Jolteon was always so jittery. But perhaps that would make things worse. "So you like sports? Do you play or watch?" It seemed likely that Jolteon would want to watch. "And mountaineering. I know a couple of guys that are into that kind of thing," he grinned.

Tilting his head to the side he glanced down at his hot chocolate which still tasted great to him and took a sip as he listened. "I don't think Shelby will be happy unless you are happy..." He ducked his head ever so slightly and listened to the question. "I like to play sports, there's too much sitting still involved in watching sports." He thought about the last time he had gone camping with Takun and how awkward that had been.

Raven stared at Jolteon for a long moment. "Do you, um..." mean that? Of course Jolteon meant that. And of course he was right. All this time, neither he nor Shelby had been happy. And maybe that was entirely Raven's fault. He rubbed the back of his head, embarassed. Why is the truth sometimes so obvious but equally difficult to see? "I guess..." He frowned and drank his cocoa, listening to Jolteon. "I figured you'd prefer to play. watching can be so boring," he grinned. He watched the pokemon curiously. He seemed to be thinking about or remembering something.

Jolteon felt as though he had struck a soft spot but Raven didn't seem to mind too much when he prodded soft spots as long as he knew his limits. Once the conversation switched to sports he saw the boy seemingly feeling more comfortable. "I agree, watching is boring" He looked up from remembering the camping trip and saw Raven was watching him and he gave a nervous laugh. "You know something... "He crossed his legs and began playing with his white waist length hair debating putting it into a ponytail. "You seem like you wont let yourself be happy..." He kept eye contact with Raven for once when he said this. His white eyes focused as he tried to guage Ravens reaction to his words.

"Maybe," he crossed a boot over his knee, "I've gotten into the habit. It's easy enough to do when you blame yourself for something." He kept his gaze on Jolteon. It was not that he had anything he wanted to hide, it was just very difficult to talk about. It was easier not to.

Jolteon sighed in slight frustration. He wanted Raven to be happy, he was way nicer than most of the boys he had met before and deserved to be happy way more than some of the boys he had met. "What do you blame yourself for" Jolteon stuck his hand in his pocket and began fiddling so he could sit still and keep eye contact with Raven.

"It's not like I like to make excuses or give up. There are just some things that can't be forgotten." He glanced around; no one was really watching or seemed to be listening, so he sighed and unhooked his foot from his knee and leaned forward. His wings flicked as his elbows rested on his knees and he held his cocoa before him. "Instead of a honeymoon, my first wife was raped and murdered in front of my eyes. I couldn't do anything about it. There's only so much you can do to get even, and even then, it doesn't 'fix' the problem, you know? So I tried to move on. But I guess I couldn't let it go because I totally screwed up what I had with my mate and sons later."

Jolteon nodded a little and stayed quiet while Raven told his story. A lot more made sense about the boy now. "You know... I think your first wife would want you to be happy. Don't disgrace her memory by making your life a living hell" Jolteon twitched at using the word hell and glanced away for a moment, it wasn't something he had been allowed to do as a child and the habit was fairly ground in. He fiddled with his worry stone furiously as he watched Raven. He knew talking about this couldn't be easy.

"Yeah... I know she wouldn't." Even for all the things he had done in her name he could be forgiven, or perhaps it was at least understandable. He had never felt like he could be the judge of that. It was one of those things that can go on and on forever without a resolution of any kind. He had long since discovered that there was no justice in death, only more suffering. And so he had so easily just continued, existing more than living, which made others suffer more. Even when he had tried to move on, it had been no use. It wasn't really about disgracing her memory, though. It had become all about himself. He hadn't realized how selfish he really was. "Ah. Thank you Jolteon."

Jolteon watched all of the thoughts crossing Ravens face and waited for him to organize his thoughts. He didn't quite expect the reaction that he had gotten but he couldn't help but smile a little. "Why are you thanking me?" He glanced out the window and watched the scene out on the street while he waited for Raven to answer.

He straightened up in his chair and leaned back a little. "Well, mainly because I'm not used to being criticized. It's a different opinion from what I'm used to. Things like, 'oh that's too bad,' or 'well that's how it is,' are the general attitude. But if it doesn't affect someone, they might be sympathetic, but they don't really care. I'm not sure why, but it seems like you actually care." He smiled faintly. Maybe Jolteon just didn't want others to suffer.

A small chuckle escaped Jolteon as he twitched and resumed his usual tremble. "I wouldn't have sat still that long if I didn't care." Jolteon smiled and glanced at Raven so um, do you have a picture of Shelby I can see?" He paused and looked down "you don't have to though" He still couldn't help but keep a slight air of caution around Raven out of habit, it wasn't every day after all that Jolteon found someone he could actually talk to.

A picture of Shelb? That was like trying to get him to hold still long enough to cut his hair. "I have a picture of him from when he was little." He set his cup down and pulled out his wallet then pulled out a worn picture of a small child sitting on the floor in front of someone's legs, which were draped in red fabric. The pale, horned, lop-eared and dark-haired child leaned against those legs while he stared with a strange expression at something next to him that wasn't there. At least not visibly. "He's grown now," Raven said, offering the photo to Jolteon.

Jolteon took the offered picture and studied it for a moment "What's he looking at?" He continued looking at the picture before glancing at Raven and offering the picture back "He looks like you, just not as dark" Jolteon giggled a little and twitched while doing so.

"Um. A ghost," Raven replied while taking the photo back. While he put it away, he added, "Or some kind of spirit. I'm not really sure what they are. But I know others that say they've seen what he sees." He glanced up at Jolteon and grinned, "Thanks. He looks a lot like both of us." Except for the lop ears. Perhaps it was a throwback on Mousse's side.

"That sounds like it would give him an unfair advantage in games like hide and go seek" Jolteon grinned and trembled a bit while he listened to Raven. "I can only imagine what this mousse looked like"

Raven chuckled, "You would think so. Who knows, maybe it did." He finished off his cocoa while he watched Jolteon. Was he being wistful now? If Jolteon wasn't Jolteon, he might have teased him lightly about it. "Mousse was the one in the picture with Shelby. It doesn't matter what he looked like, does it?"

Jolteon grinned at the idea of ghostly help during such games. downing the rest of his hot chocolate and twitched after the last gulp. "No I guess it doesn't matter what he looked like" Jolteon shrugged and looked out to the street. "It's your turn to ask me something"

Raven considered Jolteon carefully for a moment then said, "You can imagine though, that he'd be rather awkward in public." He didn't want it to seem like this was the reason why he treated Jolteon like anyone else. Or like he was only humoring him. "You wanna walk around some more?"

Jolteon put his twitching hand to his chin to think for a moment before shrugging. "Depends on who he was around, like you, it isn't awkward when im with you and it usually is when i'm around someone else. He just needs good friends or at least understanding people" Jolteon smiled and nodded as Raven asked him if he wanted to walk some more and jumped up from his chair while thinking. Ever since he and Raven had started talking Jolteons studder was almost gone.

"For his sake, I hope so. He used to be so much happier." He was mildly surprised when Jolteon jumped from his chair, but his jerky movements were becoming more customary. He was... excited. Raven rose to his feet and since his cocoa was finished now, moved over to a garbage can. "Can I ask you about your name? It fits you. But were you born with it?"

A small almost sarcastic laugh broke from Jolteons chest as he gave Raven a rueful smile. "yes I was born with it, sometimes I think my parents were either psychic or just knew what they were doing by having me and my siblings.." Jolteon glanced away and followed Raven to the garbage can. "I think maybe they have a strange sense of humor and are unusual themselves" Tossing his cup into the garbage he turned to Raven and gave a small smile.

"Is it possible they placed an unforseen expectation upon you? I'm sure they meant no harm in it." He smiled to Jolteon as he held open the door for him.

A small sigh deflated his body. "Ok how about this, my brother flareon, you know flare, has control of the element fire. My brother vaporeon, you know, vapor, controls water, my name is Jolteon, you know, jolt, and until recently I had control over electricity" Jolteon scooted through the door so Raven wouldn't have to hold the door open any longer.

Wow. More elements. That is, he knew several with powers like that. If he had an element to describe him, would it be darkness? Or death? More morose thinking. If he wasn't careful, Val would have to pass him the crown of the Emo King. He almost chuckled as he passed through the door after Jolteon. "So it really sounds like your parents knew what you would be like. Do your brothers also look like their elements? You do invoke an image of electricity," Raven nodded. More, his actions were very, well, electric!

Jolteon nodded a little and looked down the road as he began wandering. His hands returned to his pockets and fiddled with his worry stone. "Yes they do embody their elements, however i'm the only one who can't control their element anymore." Jolteon shrugged having quite an issue with the loss of his element control.

Jolteon seemed to be getting nervous, or upset again. This was his sore topic, then. He looked at the pokemon squarely and asked, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But I am curious what would cause you to lose your control over it. Did something happen to you?"

The pokemon shrugged again. This was his sore subject, it had been his worse fear that he would lose control of electricity and it had happened and it had been a painful process. "I didn't always used to be so twitchy and trembly..." Jolteon kept walking and staring at his feet as he talked to keep himself occupied. "I used to be a lot more like a normal anthro. I was an electrician, hung out with my little brother, had a nice place..." Another frustrated shrug "I was working on a large project for work and one of my co workers hadn't shut off the main power like he was supposed to, i guess he figured i could control it so it didnt matter but I wasn't expecting it and it was a huge voltage that went straight through my heart... It should have killed me but instead I can no longer control electricity and I can't ever sit still, and my muscles twitch out of my control..." Jolteon looked up at Raven with sad eyes. It tormented him that he had lost his control of the element.

Raven came to the realization that he was good at staring at Jolteon. He was actually trying to picture what had happened and nearly ran into an oncoming pedestrian in the process, but skipped around behind Jolteon instead. When he recovered, he had a more thoughtful look on his face. He didn't know anyone else with an affinity for electricity. "I don't suppose there's anything you could do to help? Or have you spoken with anyone who knows more about it?"

Jolteon jumped and began a fit of giggles as Raven did his dodging dance moves in the sidewalk. It wasn't true laughter but it made him feel better after what he had just talked about. Stiffling a few loose chuckles Jolteon shrugged and looked over at Raven and into his eyes. "I have no idea honestly, I don't know anyone who knows more about it. As far as I know no one has lost their control over the elements before and having someone like you become my friend helps honestly... at least if you're ok with me calling you my friend..." Jolteon gave a small nervous laugh and glanced away. Someday he hoped he would find someone he was comfortable enough with or become comfortable enough with someone that the fine tremble of his muscles stayed just below notice and he could stop being so nervous and cautious.

Jolteon's laughter was the closest to actual mirth Raven had seen, even if it was at the demon's expense. It didn't bother Raven, and his smirk was good-natured too. His response to the pokemon's implied request came after he considered the situation. Jolteon had no way of controlling this element. He already knew someone - well two, actually, whose element had gone out of control before. It's not the kind of thing you hold against someone, especially a friend. He didn't hold it against Jolteon, either. Neither one of them could do anything about it, and there was no advice to be given. So, that left the last thing he could do, which was wash his hands of it, and that was the difference, what makes one a friend or no. "Well, we haven't known each other long. We know some details about each other and we've had coffee. We could easily drop it right there." He shrugged, "But I don't really feel like doing that. I'd like to be your friend." He met Jolteon's eyes and grinned at the last moment. "You think making a friend of some gothy-looking guy helps that much?"

For a moment when Raven mentioned just parting ways there his ears dropped marginally. He was genually dissappointed for a moment and let his eyes drift down. Luckilly he looked up right as Raven got the grin on his face at the last moment and couldn't help but return the smile, his tail even began swishing back and fourth ever so slightly. Jolteon couldn't help but let out another quick laugh at Ravens last comment. "You know, you may look dark but your personality says otherwise. No matter what you say I think I can see a bright personality shining through all those shadows you keep around you" Jolteon decided to step outside his comfort zone and bump his shoulder against Ravens lightly, just enough to make him step sideways since he didn't want to make the boy fall over or anything. He was actually teasing the pale skinned demon beside him, something shockingly lighthearted for Jolteon after their conversation.

Bumping shoulders, which was a normal enough gesture, seemed an unlikely one for someone like Jolteon. It was understandably surprising, and Raven was pushed back a step or two while his wings corrected his balance. The more time he spent with Jolteon, the more comfortable he seemed just acting normally. He grinned broadly and slapped the pokemon lightly on the arm. "You know, I think we're both good for each other."

Jolteon put his hand over where Raven had playfully slapped and looked over at him with one of the most genuine smiles he'd had yet. He nodded thoughtfully for a moment. "I agree" He stuck his hands in his pocket still smiling as he walked side by side with the demon. "And to think, this all started with your cat and some fish."

"Well don't let Gabe know you're in debt to him. You won't live it down." Of course, the cat's way of getting in Jolteon's face about it might be more literal than he'd want. "That's the nature of life. Seemingly unrelated things can lead to some interesting surprises." Life almost never went as planned. Grinning over at Jolteon, Raven didn't think that always had to be a bad thing.

Jolteon twitched a little and laughed. "I'll be sure not to let him know. and I like this seemingly unrelated chain of events." Jolteon kicked a rock while they continued walking and began thinking. "So what would you like to do now? We can't wander aimlessly forever." He chuckled and looked over trying to guage how Raven was reacting. He wasn't sure if Raven would want to continue hanging out or to go their separate ways.

Raven nodded, "Me too. Hmm..." Raven thought about it for a moment. He had not had a reason to be out today other than that he felt like going for a stroll. It was just the kind of day he could do something like that. But Jolteon had been in the middle of his jogging routine when they had met earlier. Some people had strict regimen. "Jolteon, if we hadn't met today, what were you going to do after looking at the fish?"

Jolteon felt as though there was never much going on in his life since with work he only had to fix things when they broke and he could never be occupied enough with his racing mind. "honestly? Jog a little more and see where I ended up. Then I would probaby wander around, find my way back home and play some video games" The boy shrugged, it wasn't a very exciting existance but it was an existance.

"Oh, I thought that maybe you had been on your way somewhere. You know how sometimes people have a strict routine they follow?" he nodded. "So you had no other plans... Is there anything you want to do now?"

Shaking his yellow head he smiled. "Nope, no strict routine for me, I just do whatever I feel like doing for the most part unless work calls." He thought for a moment trying to figure out if there was anything in particular he wanted to do but decided against anything specific. "I'm not sure really, what about you? is there anything you would like to do?"

"I didn't have anything in mind either." Raven was used to being for the most part alone. Even when he went out, it was more impersonal than this. He sighed and shrugged apologetically. "I'm not very good at this sort of thing." Or maybe he was just out of practice.

Jolteon thought for a moment at what Raven said "um, we could go to an aquarium, or a museum? laser tag, or rollerblading? We could even go play in the fountain at the park" Jolteon wasn't very good at the whole doing social things with anthros who werent his brothers. He had never even had a boyfriend so he honestly had no sort of awareness of if he overstepped physical boundries either.

Raven smirked faintly; all of those options had entry fees of some sort attached. Then there was the fountain in the park. He probably hadn't "played" anything since his sons were children. "The park sounds all right."

Jolteon smiled a little and nodded. "Alright, park it is, wanna race?" a small blush creeped cross Jolteons cheeks, he felt a little childish saying that.

"Hm, want to see if your legs can beat my wings?" Raven chuckled, flexing his black-feathered wings a little.

Jolteon paled a little at that, he wasn't sure how this would turn out. "I can try!" With that Jolteon took off running, he was like a streak of yellow down the sidewalk

Raven's eyes widened a little as Jolteon ran off toward the park. After that moment of hesitation he took flight. The resistance of air against his wings was refreshing. He should go out flying more often. He wasn't worried about winning, just keeping up with Jolteon, and mischievously positioned himself until the sun cast his shadow near Jolteon's pounding feet.

A huge grin was pasted on Jolteons face as he ran and his while hair billowed behind him. At intervals he looked up where Raven was flying above him and kept pushing his feet against the pavement. At one point Jolteon jumped up and tried to reach up and touch raven without thinking about his inhibitions.

Jolteon was nowhere near close enough to catch Raven, but they were both having a good time, it didn't really matter. Laughing, the demon pulled ahead to see what Jolteon would do next.

Seeing Jolteon stumble, the demon circled in wide, descending arcs until they could freely speak without yelling. He still remained above, however, slightly off to the side so Jolteon could see more than just his shadow. "And if we were to run, it wouldn't be much of a race," he chuckled. Then, "I saw you stumble. Are you all right?"

Part two of today's continuation:

Jolteon: A fine tremble set into Jolteons body as he had begun apologizing and abruply stopped as Raven kissed the top of his head and kept an arm around him. Jolteon wasnt used to feeling so comfortable, so... accepted by anyone. A smiled curved up his lips as he looked over at Raven wanting to wrap his arm around the boy as well but not knowing how to without making things awkward. "I... I haven't had this much fun in a long time either" his voice was quiet and he let his white hair fall so it covered his face from Raven, there was still a pink tinge to his cheeks

Raven: Raven's brows raised briefly then he smiled and leaned closer to Jolteon's ear to speak quietly: "I can tell." Then he looked forward again toward the park, and raised his voice to more conversational tone and his grin widened, carefree and comfortable. "So what would you like to do at the park? Off to the fountain, right?"

Jolteon: (hah this is funny, jolteon doesnt know what to do with himself XD)
A small twitch of Jolteons muscles showed his surprise at how close Raven got to his ear. The smile stayed pasted on his face though as he cautiously wrapped his arm around Raven's waist while they walked. Part of Jolteons mind was staying aware of how raven reacted to having jolteons arm around his waist while the other half got excited. Ears perking he looked ahead to the large fountain and grinned. "yes, to the fountain!" His arm lifted as he pointed to the fountain in a type of 'charge' motion

Raven: (Jolteon is adorable!)
Raven glanced at Jolteon out of the corner of his eye. It would seem that a lot of Jolteon's nervous movements and behaviors stemmed from being unsure of what was "okay." So, let him see how much fun he could have if Raven let him take charge. He did not mind the arm around his waist. It was a bit close but let him see how it felt to be completely accepted. He obviously, desperately needed to know. So, for their first park destination, it would be the fountain. "No race though this time, right?" he chuckled. They were a little too tangled to do much more than walk.

Jolteon: and jolteon cant help himself lol hes just so nervous all the time XD
An overdramatic nod showed his agreement over no race. "no race this time, it would be kinda hard like this to race huh?" Jolteon was feeling like a child, not in a bad way, in a happy, energetic giddy sort of way. "so what would you do if i threw you in?" making sure his white hair hid his mischevious grin Jolteon stared hard at the glittering water of the fountain. He was letting one instinct override his nervousness, the instinct to play.

Raven: Raven will try to get him over that! *strikes a pose* x3
"Actually," Raven chuckled, "that's what I was thinking." Jolteon's question was a little surprising. He looked at him with a raised brow and replied with the same laughter in his voice, "Well, I'd either have to drag you in with me, or splash you with my wings."

Jolteon: Jolteon's grin flashed wider and he was suddenly happy that Raven was a flying anthro, it made him much lighter than Jolteon who was the build of all the bulky wolf anthros. With a blur of yellow Jolteon ducked down and tried to grab Raven bridal style. If he succeeded Raven would be on his butt in the fountain in about 2.5 seconds.

Raven: LOL! Oh no Raven, you're going down! XDDD Wet leather isn't fun when it dries. xD;
It shouldn't be surprising that Jolteon would actually try to follow through with this hypothetical suggestion, but it was still shocking. Raven had always been the one carrying or leading the way, even if he was fairly easygoing. 'Bridal' did not typically enter into his personal vocabulary! But hollow bones are what they are and he had just enough time to register the quickly advancing fountain and to grab tightly around Jolteon's neck. If I'm going down, he's coming with me!

Jolteon: This scene is honestly making me lol XDDDD
Jolteon wobbled and stayed standing for a moment before toppling over on top of Raven. Splashing around for a moment Jolteon attempted to get the huge locks of sopping white hair out of his face. He couldnt see a thing though so he had no idea where Raven was other than being able to feel him close

Raven: End over end! Head over heels! XD! Hopefully he won't have a crick in his neck for this. x.x; <3
Splashing did happen, only submerged as he was, on his butt as Jolteon had predicted, they amounted to large waves more than naught. Sputtering and wiping hair out of his eyes, he blinked and glanced over at the pokemon, whom was groping around in the water. "You okay Jolteon?" He couldn't keep the wry humor out of his voice. "I didn't think you'd actually do it." Then he waited for Jolteon to find him. He was so going to... get him wetter. With his hand? ...Since he was practically sprawled on his own wings? Ah, never mind. He was too busy laughing by now.

Jolteon: Jolteon coughed out some of the water that had gotten into his mouth when he fell head first into the fountain. Struggling to get his hair out of his face he ducked his head forward he swung it back flipped water all over Ravens face as he did so. Jolteon quickly began laughing as he ran his hand through his hair. "you should never doubt me" Jolteon winked at Raven as his tail wagged happily creating more waves

Raven: "I'm seeing the errors of my ways," Raven chuckled, dodging his head to the side as a splash of water from Jolteon's hair hit him in the face. he had been wrestling with the idea of whether Jolteon would even enjoy a water fight when the pokemon surprised him in that quick succession that ended with them both soaked head to toe. He slapped the water's surface to hit Jolteon with a minor splash. "Well you got me in the water. You're not going to shock me, are you?" This time he meant literally but it didn't matter if the pun landed or not.

Jolteon: Jolteons hands flew up as Raven splashed water at him. He was in mid splash to soak Raven back when he asked if Jolteo was going to shok him and he immidiately stilled and began trembling again. His smile faded and ge glanced away moving his hair to block his face from Raven. "no, i'm not going to shock you" there was a slight bitter tone as his voice was filled with pain.

Raven: Raven's smile froze on his face and faded. Obviously, that had been the wrong thing to say. "That's..." There was nothing to do but apologize. "I'm sorry, that wasn't right." He rose to his knees then crawled over as he spoke, stopping until they were nearly face-to-face, and he was peeking up through Jolteon's curtain of hair. "You've already shocked me half a dozen times already, you know."

Jolteon: Jolteon shrugged slightly and looked down as Raven peeked up through his hair. He couldnt help but let a small smile creep across his lips even with the sadness in his eyes. "how have i shocked you? i lost that ability?" jolteons head tilted ever so slightly to the side

While his head was cocked to the side he listened closely to Raven. Even though his emotions were churning from being reminded about losing his control over electricity he couldn't hold the joke against Raven. When Raven glanced up to see if Jolteon was looking at him the boys eyes were staring at steadily. Jolteon seemed to be relaxing the longer that Raven spoke. It took Jolteon a moment before he realized that Raven had called him beautiful and after a quick surprised blink a fine tremble began in his muscles once more. "I don't mean to be guarded around you honestly..." Jolteon glanced away nervously for a moment before returning his gaze to Raven. "and who knows... maybe you will be the thing to return electricity to me" after the words who knows Jolteons words trailed off quieter. He was afraid, there were too many things buzzing through his head. Jolteon was used to multiple thoughts barraging his mind at once but this was different, it was a blizzard of confusion, emotions all playing with the images in his head. The turmoil showed in the slight tremble of his muscles interspersed with larger twitches even though his eyes stayed unusually steady, locked onto Raven.

a small nervous shrug lifted Jolteons trembling shoulders when Raven asked if Jolteon really thought Raven could help him, he felt strongly that the statement had been a correct one. "yes I think so... you know I didnt used to twitch all the time or be as hyperactive..." a small blush crept across his paling cheeks as he remembered how he had acted when he first saw Raven, he had been so spazzy, it was embarassing to think back to. Something about Raven calmed so many of Jolteon's fried nerves. Even with so many thoughts rushing through his head Jolteon saw Ravens hand coming toward his face, it was almost as though it were in slow motion to him. The second Ravens hand reached Jolteons yellow skin the trembling stopped and Jolteons eyes blossomed with a look that seemed a cross between pain, confusion and joy. The touch had relaxed Jolteon and Ravens next words had set off an indescribable feeling within himself. "I can remember..." the words sounded like they came from a child who had just found the meaning in his life, full of wonder and awe.

Jolteon leaned his cheek into Ravens hand gently and closed his eyes forgetting about everything around them. "I remember how it feels, the electricity running through my body, controlling it..." a small tear ran down his cheek as his words trailed off. With a now tear streaked face Jolteon looked up to Raven once more, "Until now I couldn't even remember how it had felt, not since the accident, the accident had been nothing but pain... it made me respect electricity but also fear it because of the pain..." closing his eyes with a joyous smile a few more tears leaked out. "but now I remember, it did not used to be painful but wonderful."

Still enjoying the feeling of Ravens hand resting on his cheek Jolteon nodded flightly with a small laugh through the tears. "I can try, just remembering how it felt is making me feel better." Jolteon felt confident that even without Raven touching him that he might be able to control the trembling that had controlled his body thus far. Another smile spread on the tear stained boys cheeks at Ravens last idea and nodded once more. "That would be a good idea, I wouldnt want to shock you on accident." Jolteon tilted his cheek against Ravens hand so the hand pressed ever so slightly harder against his cheek. The motion made him blush since he wasn't sure how Raven would react or if he would even notice. Pulling away reluctantly he pushed himself up onto his feet then turned to hold a hand out to Raven so he could help the boy up.

Instead of grabbing Ravens hand in the more conventional way he entwined his fingers within Ravens but didn't look at the boy. If Raven could see his face the blush would still be turning his cheeks pink and a small smile would be tugging up the corners of his mouth. "would you like to go somewhere warmer before I try? Water conducts electricity very well and you being soaking wet worries me, plus leather probably isnt going to be fun when it dries." Jolteon stepped out of the fountain and took his fingers from between ravens but he still held onto it like a gentleman to help Raven over the ledge.