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 Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:18 pm
So, I've been friends with this guy since last year, and that's all I've ever thought that we were. We aren't the closest, and we've had other relationships since we've known each other. But yesterday, at school, he asked me if I would like to go to the movies with him next weekend. He didn't specify that it would be a date, but from the tone in his voice and the fact that he had recently asked me if I was single, I'm pretty sure he was aiming at date. Sounds good, right?
Wrong.
He's a nice, funny, intelligent, likable guy. The only problem is that he isn't really a Christian (by not really, I mean that he believes in God, but doesn't really act on that belief. He's never proven to me that he want's to go to Heaven), and I made a promise to myself and God that I would never again date a non-Christian guy. When he asked me, I told him that we'd talk about it later, because the bell to go to class just rang. Just now, he posted on Facebook talking about how beautiful, intelligent, and way out of his league I am.
What should I do? I don't want to hurt him, but that's inevitable. I figure that by telling him that we can't be together now, it will save him more hurt down the road. Should I tell him before we go to the movies or after, and how should I tell him? I don't want to hurt our friendship, and I want to save him from as much hurt as possible. Help please!!!
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Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:59 pm
Ask him to attend a church function with you? He can see the you that is you, and the decision will then be on him, maybe. Living by example, and not being too adamant about some one else's change, can sometimes entice changes in the people around you. =)
Sometimes not. But done in the light of Christ, many things can happen.
Something to think about...
~MW
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Posted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:14 pm
Metal Wallflower Ask him to attend a church function with you? He can see the you that is you, and the decision will then be on him, maybe. Living by example, and not being too adamant about some one else's change, can sometimes entice changes in the people around you. =) Sometimes not. But done in the light of Christ, many things can happen. Something to think about... ~MW I agree with Metal Wallflower. I think it is totally okay for you to date him. While dating, you can slowly bring him closer to Christ.
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:30 pm
Dolphina Oceanus So, I've been friends with this guy since last year, and that's all I've ever thought that we were. We aren't the closest, and we've had other relationships since we've known each other. But yesterday, at school, he asked me if I would like to go to the movies with him next weekend. He didn't specify that it would be a date, but from the tone in his voice and the fact that he had recently asked me if I was single, I'm pretty sure he was aiming at date. Sounds good, right? Wrong. He's a nice, funny, intelligent, likable guy. The only problem is that he isn't really a Christian (by not really, I mean that he believes in God, but doesn't really act on that belief. He's never proven to me that he want's to go to Heaven), and I made a promise to myself and God that I would never again date a non-Christian guy. When he asked me, I told him that we'd talk about it later, because the bell to go to class just rang. Just now, he posted on Facebook talking about how beautiful, intelligent, and way out of his league I am. What should I do? I don't want to hurt him, but that's inevitable. I figure that by telling him that we can't be together now, it will save him more hurt down the road. Should I tell him before we go to the movies or after, and how should I tell him? I don't want to hurt our friendship, and I want to save him from as much hurt as possible. Help please!!! I don't see why you would end up hurting him if you are truthful from the very beginning. You said that you made a promise to God not to date a non-Christian guy, you could say it simply like that and ask if he would still like to go to the movies as friends. I don't want to jump on the bandwagon saying that you could be the very witness to him that brings him to a closer relationship with God, because as much as we would like to imagine that we can change everyone we come into contact with, that just isn't the case. Yes, if you do decide to "date" him instead of remaining friends, you "could" be an example for him and he "could" make that decision for Christ. But that puts a whole lot of pressure on you. I admire your promise to God and wanting to stick to it. That shows a very mature honor of commitment. I think the best thing to do in this situation is to pray. And really listen to what God places on your heart. Not what you want Him to, but what He actually does. And you will know by the peace that passes all understanding that He will surround you with when you make the right, His, decision. Blessings on you! †
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:48 pm
Thank you all so much for your help! I love the kind, caring, thoughtful, spiritual advice! heart
Also, remind me to never again post something asking for Christian help in the main forums. All the advice I got there was from non-believers telling me that God doesn't exist.
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