|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:04 pm
I first saw this on a website called the Funny Farm (and you can check out the original there plus many other funny links biggrin ) na dyou can check out the real list there but here are some of my own- Feel free to add your own tips site- http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/3456/h_horror.html1. When escaping a haunted house, bieng chased by the undead, or any other qction which requires escaping, running etc. ALWAYS look UP for attackers!!! don't just assume they'll be walking! 2. if your group has split up- don't be the one who searches the basement. 3. if you see a dark pool om the floor, don't check if it's blood. 4. ALWAYS carry spare ammunition these are mine- i'd LOVE to hear yours! don't forget to check out the website for the original
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:19 pm
1. When entering a dark room, turn the light on.
2. When investigating a strange noise, always be prepared with a gun or something large and blunt.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The_Wicked_Man Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:53 pm
1.) All avid drinkers and cannabis smokers are recommended to remain sober as all individuals need to have a clear mind and good reaction time in order to survive and/or avoid sneaky, murdering madmen.
2.) If you must, only have sex during the daylight hours or in very bright areas.
3.) When travelling or on vacation, always try to find out from the locals about locations that are not recommended to visit.
4.) If you are hiking through the woods, ALWAYS stay on the path; beasts and monsters will only attack you if you leave the trail. Although mass murderers may attack you on the trail, it's still recommended to stay on the trail and simply run back the way you came.
5.) Stay indoors on nights with full moons.
6.) Do not visit Eastern European towns that end in "-ania."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:44 pm
1) Don't look behind when running, you'll trip!
2) Stay Celibate, (They'll kill you in the day time as well. I've seen it!)
3) Check your car's engine before going on a trip... It might stall.
4) Stay away from rednecks, and if you hear a banjo war... You might as well drown yourself in the river. (BUT, if you must survive, use your surroundings to your advantage.)
5) Liquor may be quicker, but staying alive is dandy. Stay off the booze for the night Duffman.
6) Hrm, how to survive a clut should get into it's battle. Well, there's always the "I LOVE SATAN!" routine... that and kicking their asses.
7) Weapons are always good... use them, don't lose them.
cool Don't pick up hitchhikers.... I think Rutger Hauer made that clear...
9) Bob Marley can wait, why not bribe the killer to smoke your hash, instead of being a mignight toker.
10) Becuase, I'm lazy I'll only do ten for now... Don't walk into a house univited. That's just rude.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The_Wicked_Man Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:41 pm
Everything Zen 2) Stay Celibate, (They'll kill you in the day time as well. I've seen it!) Bah, the only people who are killed during daylight hours or in bright places are idiots running through the woods surrounding Crystal Lake . . . alone . . . and with no real purpose (Speaking of, don't do that--ever). Even skinny dippers survive until dark. And while we're dealing with this celibate issue, the only thing abstinance does to a person is make him/her sexually repressed and attack large men with obviously phallic objects ( See Also: Laurie stabbing Michael in Halloween). On the positive side, teenagers suffering from sexual anxiety usually take their aggression out on homicidal maniacs; however, if one is not careful, you could wind up with having TWO unstoppable, psychotic slashers in your suburban neighborhood. Other tips: 1.) If a town does not appear on a map, there is a 50% chance that there is is something horrifying about the area you are in. The other possibility is that you have a really bad map. 2.) Many science labs have infected/mutated/etc. animals inside poorly secure cages. Stay away from such places. 3.) On second thought, stay away from science labs, period. 4.) Don't trust aliens; they even hate their devout followers, including Tom Cruise--the most famous Scientologist in the world. 5.) Unless the person is a psychic in a wheelchair, bald people are never heroes or the least bit likeable. Avoid at all costs. 6.) Rebels always die; if you're not happy with the person in charge of your group of survivalists, then that really sucks for you. 7.) Believe strange, old men who tell unbelievable tales. 8.) The guy who likes to get high from inhaling Nitrous Oxide . . . just don't engage with him. Don't even ******** look at him! 9.) If silver is unavailable, the Wolfman can be stopped by a simple kick to the groin area.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 1:41 am
The_Wicked_Man 9.) If silver is unavailable, the Wolfman can be stopped by a simple kick to the groin area. The Wolfman has nards! That was friggin' classic. Anyways... 1) If there is a party, do not stray off for a smoke... You will wind up in a punch bowl. 2) Don't trust any Magical/Majestic beings such as Genies, Lepercauhns, and Robert Englund. 3) How do you stop an invincible killer? Well, Boris was killed with... Uhh, nevermind this one... Boris survived and went on to secretly plan some other attacks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:30 am
If you kill something or someone, always make sure he's really dead or he'll finish the job for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:35 am
I have the horror movie survival guide. Im extremely paranoid, and Ive watched all the movies with killers that yiu cant kill, just to see what I can do to have a chance to survive XD I NEVER investgate weird sounds, and I never call out for someone, thinking the noise was them. and if Im planning on having sex or drinking, I'll do it in the city, not the middle of nowhere XDD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:55 pm
1. If you're generally not very attractive to the opposite sex, and a super HOT woman approaches you with interest...tell her "No thanks" and walk away.
2. If the above HOT woman persist in her advnce, you can be sure that something bad will happen if you attempt to score with her.
3. Hockey players DO NOT carry machete's. If you see a man with this combination standing in the middle of the road, turn around. You CANNOT reason with him.
4. Don't piss off the locals, ESPECIALLY if you have more fingers on your right hand then they have teeth. Aggravating these people, never bodes well.
5. If you manage to "kill" a maniac killer who has pursued you for a little over 90 minutes, DO NOT check for a pulse. Leave the area immediately, and let the police do their job. If he is in fact dead, the body will still be there when they arrive. If it is missing, then at least you bought yourself a little time to escape.
6. If you're walking along a dark road and you hear creepy music...you're probably next.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:04 pm
razorgod 5. If you manage to "kill" a maniac killer who has pursued you for a little over 90 minutes, DO NOT check for a pulse. Leave the area immediately, and let the police do their job. If he is in fact dead, the body will still be there when they arrive. If it is missing, then at least you bought yourself a little time to escape. 5A.) The police in any small suburban town are completely unreliable.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The_Wicked_Man Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 8:20 pm
these are great lol. I cant think of any that havent been done already though sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 3:57 pm
1) when the lights go out- dont check the fuse box
2) NEVER go cross-country in a 4wheel Drive without a spare tank of fuel
3) do not park next to the "abandoned" monastary, institution etc. actually- just don't go there.....ever
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The_Wicked_Man Vice Captain
|
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:25 pm
Horror Crime Activity Chart by Region Urban AreasRidiculously Violent Murder: On Wall Street, common; anywhere else, slightly below average. Cannibalism: On Wall Street, common; anywhere else, relatively unheard of. Vampirism: Habitual problem (New Orleans and Paris only). Lycanthropy: Habitual problem (London and Paris only). Suburban TownsRidiculously Violent Murder: Above average. Cannibalism: Rare. Vampirism: Below average. Lycanthropy: Average. Rural and secluded areasRidiculously Violent Murder: Ridiculously common. Cannibalism: So frequent, the only way any lawful society would be able to erase this crime from their police files and records would be to legalize it! Vampirism: Slightly less frequent than cannibalism in area. Lycanthropy: Rare.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:23 am
If you find a mysrious tape, thats is being read in latin, shut if off and don't chant along! And lock the doors and board up the windows just to be safe!
If someone is bit by a zombie throw them away!
If it's ticking its not good!
If you hear a strange soud, chances are you are going to die if you go see what it is so just stay clear of it!
Never go into a room with a girl who can do a 360 with her haed. Hear try practicing this if your a priest or anyone else that has to go in ******** this"
and those are all my suggestions!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:49 pm
qratay If you find a mysrious tape, thats is being read in latin, shut if off and don't chant along! And lock the doors and board up the windows just to be safe! If someone is bit by a zombie throw them away! If it's ticking its not good! If you hear a strange soud, chances are you are going to die if you go see what it is so just stay clear of it! Never go into a room with a girl who can do a 360 with her haed. Hear try practicing this if your a priest or anyone else that has to go in ******** this" and those are all my suggestions!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
