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 Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:22 am
She had spent the morning spying on the soldiers training and now, in a somewhat secluded part of the lands - with the shade of the rocks on her back - she performed the steps she had observed. Slowly. Clumsily. She moved through the motions, stepping forwards, leaping to the side, spinning and jabbing with her paws. The careful way in which she did them was reminiscent to a cub; enthusiastic but far from perfect. And that was seen in the way she lunged out too far, lost her balance, and fell with a thump on her chest. With sand in her eyes she gave a low sound of pain and pushed herself back to her paws, lifting one to rub at her face and try to rid it of the burning grains. When that didn't work she resorted to shaking herself vigorously, only daring to open her eyes a few moments later to look at the sand she had kicked up.
What had once been smooth sand, blown perfect by the wind, there were now great scores carved into its surface from her efforts. No wonder the sand the soldiers practised on was a little more stable than this.
Exhaling sharply, she flattened her ears and cast a look around. Perhaps she should have spent the day tracking instead of playing at being soldier. But after the war games...she was coming to realise just how useless she truly was. She didn't like it at all. She wanted to do something. Anything. But she had been afraid when facing her fellow Firekin in a game. If the Nergui came baying for blood then she knew she would cower and hide and shame her family and pride.
Oh, life was so complicated.
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:35 am
He knew that after the war games there was no way he could hide everything from her. He had spoken with Kai and Ka, they were not happy of the prospect of another knowing their secrets, knowing that their family was more widespread than what the pride knew. BUt it wouldn't be right, to hide this from her. Ryujin had comforted their sister during the war games, and Naar had seen, he didn't want Naar to believe he was seeing another female behind her back as that was nothing of the sort. He merely was trying to comfort and keep close protection on a sister he had long thought he lost to the winds.
Ryujin went searching for her in the dunes, as he had not found her in the usual areas walking the borders. He kept an eye for dark figures in the distance, he did not trust any that approached. The nergui could look like anyone, anyone indeed. THat was what frightened him, and knowing his heritage, he only hoped his mother had not gone in and joined forces with the monsters of the north.
Roaring out into the duns, he called for her, not alarming, not of distress, just trying to locate. Seemed like she had gone and hid herself well this day amongst the sand, and his sharp eyes were not picking up traces as the dunes he was near were smoothed over by the winds.
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:08 pm
"Ryujin?" She startled, turning her head in the direction of the roar. It was undoubtedly him. Was he looking for her? The thought of that had her heart fluttering in her chest and without a moment to lose she was scrabbling to find her paws and dashing off across the sand in search of him.
It didn't take long for her to pick out his dark shape against the gold and she lifted her head to roar back, slowing her pace a little as she did so.
"Ryujin!" She sounded pleased to see him, too, her eyes bright and inquisitive in her face. "Are you okay?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:32 pm
When he heard a response, a breath expelled from his chest. He was worried when he didn't hear an immediate reply nad his heart began racing. He had become worried if she had wandered out too far, had gotten captured, or worse. But with all thanks to the sun and the fire within, she quickly came into view after her roar and a wave of relief fell onto his shoulders.
Though the tension in his stomach still remained.
So much had been left unsaid.
How much could he bring himself to reveal?
Would she hate him, turn away and never look back at him, tell all others? He trusted her, and only hoped she felt the same way for him.
"I'm all right," he said closing the gap between them, walking to meet her. He smiled at her and touched his forehead to hers gently, relished in the soft, tender, simple and brief moment and pulled away. "I wanted to come find you...after...what happened," he began, "the games. I told you I'd explain," he said softly, almost ashamed.
"But, I don't know if you'll turn away from me...there are things, things I wanted to tell you but..." he turned his head away, "I thought if I denied them, they would never be true. Now this has happened, I didn't want you to get the wrong impression..."
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:51 pm
Naar was perhaps too trusting to have ever questioned Ryujin. Too overjoyed that she had found a friend in him when she had never expected too. Naive it might have made her, but she was blinded by her joy at that and never could have conceived anything else. For once, it seemed, her life was going well...or as well as it could given the circumstances. When she was with him she could forget about her troubles - as big as they were - and just be happy for a time.
She leaned into his touch, a purr in her throat, and then blinked up at him with large eyes. "Oh, oh yes." Her brow furrowed with worry, but he'd said that everything was alright, hadn't he?
Her heart gave a sickening little flop as he continued and she took a small step back, frightened of what he was going to say, almost. Was her joy about to come crashing down around her paws? "Wrong impression?" She croaked, laying back her ears. "I thought you said you were okay?"
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:57 pm
With her taking a step back he flinched as if he had been struck by a cast stone. His ears pressed against his mane and head and there was pain in his eyes from the guilt he felt in his chest. He took small, short breathes but as she pulled away he felt even worse, farther from her, and he hated it.
"I am allright, but..there are things about me...my family, I've never told you, never told anyone, my siblings, they've said we aren't to," had he said too much already. Should he have consulted Kidondo on this? No, this was his life, if he wished to have Naar to be part of it, he had the right to tell her so that she might determine if she still wished to be with him.
"BUt I feel...guilty, like I should have said something before and...what I haven't said, it's like stones in my heart," he said looking to the sand beneath him. HIs head dipped down, shoulders sulking, it was evident that whatever he hadn't told her was hurting him too. BUt his siblings had told him it was for the best. Kidondo might have said the same thing.
"I just..I don't want to feel like I'm ever lying to you..by not telling you...but...I...I don't want to lose you either."
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:02 pm
Naar blinked, confused and worried and wondering what on earth he was going to say that would have her running for the dunes. "You'd break a promise?" She asked nervously. She'd never had a secret to keep before and the very thought of it made her wary. What if she spoke it accidentally? What if it really was terrible and she was forced to go and tell someone about it?
"Ryujin..." She shook her head. "I don't understand. What could your family do that would be so bad?"
Unless!!
"You're...not a Nergui spy, are you?" And she said it with the utmost seriousness.
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:10 pm
"It wasn't our own doing that is the problem," he said simply, still not raising his eyes to meet hers.
It was his lineage's fault.
HIs mother.
He didn't feel like he had the right to. He felt ashamed. With her questions, he, under different circumstances, would have laughed out loud, but he shook his head," No, of course not, I'd rather another drown me in the sand than be a use to those monsters."
He tilted his head upwards a little, just to see her paws, so he knew how close she was...rather, how far a step she had taken aback.
"Do you remember the lioness from the war games? The one I tried to help?"
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:14 pm
Not his own doing? Then how could she be mad at him? Firekin weren't judged from their families mistakes. Did he not know that? Why was he worrying about something that he had not had a hand in? Her frown deepened, something telling her that there was more to this than what first appeared. But what? And why now?
She couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he turned down her suggestion he was a spy. A part of her had been worried, for a moment, that her friend might have turned out to have been some sort of double agent for the enemy.
And, at his question, she gave a short nod. "Yes. Yes, I remember. She was afraid."
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:17 pm
"And you know how, the old ways, they were left behind when the safi had gone, such as looking to those that held more power than us..than..mortals?" he said, he didn't want to elaborate.
He looked up to her then, his eyes meeting hers, his face still held sadness and worry.
"What I will tell you, you must promise to never tell anyone, please, promise me."
He also wanted to have her promise not to go away, not to leave him alone, but he couldn't ask that, she needed to know.
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:21 pm
She swallowed nervously and shifted from one paw to the other. She was going to promise him to not say a word. But what if she needed to? What if...what if...
"You mean Finar-Si?" She whispered the name as if she could be struck down b merely saying it. Her head snapped to look around them, perhaps to make sure the goddess hadn't been summoned by the mere mention. When everything was still and quiet, she returned her eyes to him and gave a short nod. "I promise, Ryujin." She trusted him, didn't she? Didn't she?
She looked into his eyes, looked deep into them as if to try and find any badness in there. But there was nothing. Only worry and she wanted that to be gone. Naar, very hesitantly, took a step towards him. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:30 pm
He nodded at the mention of the goddess name. "She is only one of them, Naar," he took a breath, did not know whether or not he should say anything. But she had promised. She wouldn't endanger his, nor Ka or Kai, nor Adiel's life. He was certain..or hopefuly of that.
"That's lioness I helped, is my sister," he said simply, at first.
He looked into her eyes, then away, "Ka and Kai and myself, we didn't know if she was alive still...we didn't know what had happened after we left and came here."
He gulped, looked at her again, "Our mother, Naar, is a goddess too..." which meant, by normal firekin standards, that they were seers, thus frowned upon, perhaps, even, worse than huria, if everyone knew. But only Kidondo knew, perhaps even No, but that was all.
And now Naar.
"Ka and Kai didn't want me to tell you, they were afraid, we've kept it secret for so long... only KIdondo knows, so he knows of our...visions..curses if you will. I don't know if she, Adiel, has ever had them, or if anyone even knows about her past, but when I saw her I couldn't believe it. It was like a ghost."
He took a breath and took a moment to gather his thoughts.
"But I couldn't...not say anything to you..in case anything comes out into the open. They didn't want me to tell you, but..I didn't want to feel like I was being horrible...like I was lying."
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:39 pm
Naar seemed to find the concept difficult to grasp. Perhaps not the fact that he - and his siblings - were the sons and daughters of a goddess, but the fact that it should worry him so much. "I'm glad you came together again, all of you." She continued, thinking of her own dear sister out there in the rogue lands. She could understand how he had felt, not knowing where Adiel was or if she was even still alive.
Well, she knew that Nakama was alive. She was certain she would have felt it if something had happened to her out there.
"I don't understand. Why is it such a bad thing? Your mother is not Finar-Si, is she?" She shook her head. "Or is it that you think that the Firekin might not trust you because you have a gods blood in you, even if that god has nothing to do with us?"
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:45 pm
"We still don't know about our other sister," he said with his ears falling even flatter against his head.
"She is not, no, but...what she was encompassed of..her domain..if you will, was something unpleasant. That, and the fact we have god blood, is what we fear others might look at us with hate and disgust. We fear if they knew who she was..what she is of..that they would want us to leave.
She was...all right to me, but hated Ka and Kai, for the symbols upon their pelts. Said it was some..curse marks, but neither have ever been like her...so vastly different, so good."
He looked to her, uncertain of how she felt.
"These are what we don't want the pride to know. Kidondo knows, and he has accepted us as firekin, and my siblings look to him, almost like a father, as we never knew ours, we'd never betray the firekin, even for our mother. BUt if another heard god's blood...and rage, they might not listen regardless.
I just..didn't want someone else to find out, and for you to...to not like me, for you to hate me already..."
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:19 pm
She wasn't sure whether it was particularly suitable to smile or laugh at him but she couldn't keep it completely from her face as he spoke. He was so worried that she would dislike him because of who his mother was? That was so silly. Surely there must be many other lions in his position. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but certainly there were bound to be many demi-gods in the lands.
"You are silly, Ryujin. Why would I hate you because of that? Because you and your siblings were strong enough to make good of your lives and not be influenced by your mother? That is good. Very good. To go against what might be in your blood. To find yourselves a new life away from her. I don't understand the ways of the gods or why they act the way they do, but no matter how bad she might have been, she certainly birthed some good children."
She shook her head. "I could never hate you Ryujin. Not for that. You didn't choose to be born. That was up to her."
She sucked in a sharp breath and, very carefully, she bridged the gap between them and tucked her nose up under his chin. "Your secret is safe with me."
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