Welcome to Gaia! ::

Untamed Writers

Back to Guilds

Post your stories... ask for help... you know you must join us.... 

Tags: Writers, extreme, roleplaying, chat, help 

Reply Story Post
New Intro

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Should I continue with this story?
  Yes
  No
View Results

Seliora
Captain

6,700 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Person of Interest 200
  • Full closet 200
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:05 pm


A man was lying in the middle of the street, not moving one inch. There was blood splattered around his head and I was sure he was dead. Somehow, I can always tell if they are dead.
I was in my truck, waiting for the policeman to direct me around to continue on my way home, but the image of the man wouldn't leave my mind. Once I was home, I tried to focus on anything else.
I played my piano, my guitar, and plenty of different video games. I had heavy metal music playing in the background the whole time, just trying to make the image of the man go away.
The man had had a shaved head, he was fairly well built and had had his shirt off and his legs curled up. He was white as a ghost. A paramedic had been hovering over him, taking his pulse.
That pale white man never left my mind the whole night. Even as I slept, his image was controlling my mind.
I didn't tell anyone what I saw, why concern them with me? I continued on at school, pretending to worry about the upcoming homecoming football game. No one really guessed what was on my mind...
No one guessed that i was thinking of a dead man.
No one guessed that it was me that hit him.
No one guessed that it was me that killed him.
Worst of all, no one guessed that I liked it.


(this actually happened. I didn't actually hit him and kill him but the rest is actually a true story. It was actually pretty freaky.)
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 4:50 pm


It has a very chilling, very emotive start. It wakes you up the story and makes you want to read on. Good job on it, I think you should continue.

Dude of dudevill


Seliora
Captain

6,700 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Person of Interest 200
  • Full closet 200
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:09 pm


Northern Desert Vagabond
Desert


Yeah, it was a pretty freaky experience though. I just have to write it onto paper. that's the only way I can write decent stories lol. I type them up later sweatdrop
Reply
Story Post

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum