Orochimaru: *holds up an invitation* Kabuto, I've been invited to a get together with my old teammates. They told me to bring my wife.
Kabuto: But you don't have one.
Orochimaru: That's exactly why I need you to pretend to be my wife.
Kabuto: Why can't you just tell them that you don't have a family? They even know you don't have a family.
Orochimaru: Well, you see, I told them that I did the other day when they were bragging about their families...
Kabuto: Whatever.
***Somewhere in a bar outside of Konoha***
Jiraiya: *talking to some random woman* Marry me?
Random woman: What the hell? I don't even know you.
Jiraiya: *edges toward the random woman, urm, let's call her Lisa* *devilish look* We could get to know eachother...
Lisa: Are you asking me to have sex with you?
Jiraiya: Mebe...
Lisa: No way!
Jiraiya: *whacks Lisa on the head with a bottle of sake knocking her out cold* *takes her by the legs and drags her out of bar* Belive me, Lisa, this hurts me more than it hurts you.
***The Hokage's building***
Tsunade: Shizune, call Uzumaki Naruto. I have a mission for him.
Shizune: Can do!
Naruto: *arrives* This better be a good mission.
Tsunade: Oh, it is.
Naruto: What is it?
Tsunade: Well, you see, the other sennin and I are having a get together and we have to bring our families. I don't want them to know I'm single.
Naruto: Jiraiya knows you're single.
Tsunade: I told him that I eloped.
Naruto: Okay...where are you going with this Granny Tsunade?
Tsunade: You need to pretend to be my husband.
Naruto: NO WAY IN HELL!
Tsunade: *threatening face* Yes you will...
Naruto: *gulp* Yes mam'!
***At the get together***
Orochimaru: *rings doorbell to the Hokage's tower* Be on your best behaviour...honey...
Kabuto: *is busy picking butt* These panty hose are so annoying! How do women wear it?
Orochimaru: Deal with it. This is a life or death situation.
Kabuto: No it isn't.
Orochimaru: I meant for you...
Kabuto: Oh...*gulp*
Tsunade: *opens door* OH! If it isn't Orohimaru and his...erm...lovely wife...
Kabuto: *still picking butt* *in squeaky voice* Hiya.
Orochimaru: Good evening Tsunade.
Tsunade: Well come in. Everybody's here waiting.
Orochimaru: *grabs Kabuto's free hand* Come along sweetie.
Jiraiya: Well if it isn't my old pal Orochimaru. What's up? Say hi to Orochimaru dear. *grabs the still unconcious Lisa's jaw and moves her mouth open and closed* *out of corner of mouth in squeaky voice* Why hello there O-ro-chi-ma-ru.
Orochimaru: *sweat drop* Why hello there...hehe.
Naruto: *with fake moustache on and holding cue cards* Hello ev-er-y-bo-dy. Wel-come to ou-r home.
Tsunade: Yes, this is my husband.
Jiraiya: *examines Naruto* You look a lot like someone I know.
Naruto: *flips through cue cards* Granny Tsunade the answer to that question's not here!!!
Tsunade: Check the back of card five, quickly, before anyone gets suspicious!
Naruto: *flips to back of cart five* No I do not be-lie-ve you know me. I have ne-ver seen you be-fore in my life.
Jiraiya: Okay, just checking.
Tsunade: Well then, let's eat!
Naruto: *serves dinner*
Kabuto: *chews loudly with mouth open* Dis is good stuff!
Tsunade: Yes it is...hehe...that's very feminine of you to eat in such a manner.
Orochimaru: You really think so?
Tsunade: Yea...hehe
Jiraiya: *dumps plate of food into Lisa's mouth* She's very hungry.
Naruto: What is this crap? Where's the ramen?!
Tsunade: *jumps up from chair* DAMN IT NARUTO! EAT YOUR VEGGIES!
Jiraiya: Hey! You've even got the same name as the guy you remind me of.
Tsunade: NO HE DOESN'T!!! His name is......Pumba...
Jiraiya: Like the wart hog?
Tsunade: No...like the mere-cat.
Jiraiya: Oh...
Kabuto: *face full of food* You realize that your wife's dinner is over flowing in her mouth?
Jiraiya: God damn it! *throws Lisa to the ground and grabs both sides of her mouth* *begins stomping food back into her mouth*
Naruto: *pokes a piece of brocolli* I don't like this one.
Tsunade: JUST EAT IT!!!! *runs over to Naruto and begins choking him*
Kabuto: *pulls off earings* I HATE THESE GAY CLIP ONS! *begins stomping on the clip on earings*
Orochimaru: Hissss...*attacks Kabuto*
That's the reason why this team doesn't get together anymore.
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